¤Chapter Ten¤

I jolt awake, perturbed.

My night was bad and now, so is my morning. How wonderful. With a sigh, I rolled out of bed and took a quick shower to wash away the dried sweat in my hair and on my body. I'm used to this. The temperature is always cold in our house, yet I still wake up drenched. These nightmares —no, flashbacks happen occasionally. The only thing mom has been able to tell me about them is that they're caused by triggers. What the triggers are and how to stop them is undetermined. I might have to live in this... darkness for the rest of my life.

Dr. Elizabeth Fields begs to differ however, she thinks this will all pass. I scoffed as I brushed through my air-dried hair in the mirror. It fell in gentle waves past my shoulders. The red streaks look bold and intense today, matching my mood perfectly. Dr. Fields is a great doctor, but if she thinks this will all pass like a light breeze then maybe she needs to re-evaluate her degree. Then again, she's not a psychologist —just a mother trying to help her daughter regain self-control and sanity.

"Good morning father" I wrapped my arms around dad's shoulders once I arrived downstairs. His brows rose in response.

"You're up early today," Mom noted hesitantly after I gave her a back hug. "Bad dream?"

Instead of replying, I grabbed a piece of toast and some Nutella and joined them around the table. We ate in silence for a while before dad folded his newspaper and addressed me, "Madi, speak."

Although his voice was firm, concern was clear and visible in his weary eyes.

I've only ignored my parents once and that was when a certain someone caused me to become incredibly depressed. I glanced at mom, she's already gone into doctor mode, trying to analyze me through her specks. My parents worried about me a lot back then so I guess it's natural for them to panic every time I suddenly get silent.

"I can't remember this one, but yes" I finally answered her question, staring blankly at the  orange juice in front of me.

"Would you say it's gotten better or worse?" Dr. Fields interlocked her fingers so her chin can rest on top.

I took a sip of the tangy juice before responding. "Better, I think"

"Good," Dad released a shaky breath. "You're gaining control of your emotions Madi"

That reminds me.

"Do you think we can squeeze in some training time soon?" I asked hopeful. I don't want to admit it but my big 'win' with Owen last night was pure luck. It was dark, we were probably both not thinking straight and at that moment, I knew exactly what to say to rattle him. I stand by my statement of course, I'm just not sure why I told him that.

"Why?" Dad sat up in his chair and looked over nervously at mom. "Did something happen?"

I should've known he would want to know why.

"Oh" I stood up and grabbed my backpack, preparing to bolt if things got weird. "Um, there's this... person that I find it difficult to read sometimes and—"

"Oh my" Mom gasped, switching out of her doctor mode. "Frank, I think our daughter might be smitten for someone"

Dad laughed, his demeanor seeming to relax a bit. Why was he so tense in the first place? "You think so Liz?"

"No," I hastily interjected before she had the chance to speak for me. "I just—" I struggled to find the right words. "...want to improve my control and skill in certain situations."

"You mind sharing an example of a 'situation'?" Mom teased, her eyes twinkling.

I frowned and headed for the door in frustration. "Forget it."

"Honey, wait!" Dad caught up to me in the garage.

I stopped and faced him. "Yes?"

He looked at me with unreadable eyes for a second before he smiled complacently. "We can squeeze in some practice time soon if you want but, let me share a quick story with you"

"Dad," I crossed my arms. "I'm going to be late"

"I'll make it quick," He said then continued swiftly, casually leaning on a metal shelf. "I first met your mother when I was, err, training—" I gave him an inquisitive look but he kept going. "She was a bombshell dark haired beauty, sophisticated and poised. And I was this scrawny kid fighting like hell to achieve the bare minimum alongside my peers. I'd always see her around in the building, but we never actually talked to each other. One day, she heard me announcing to some friends that I planned on giving up and dragged me into a storage closet" His eyes glazed over as if reliving the moment.

"She shoved me against the wall," He continued fondly. "And said 'listen Freighted Frank, if you quit right now, you'll only discourage everyone else and drag them down with you. Personally, I'd much rather watch a movie than read a million textbooks, but I want to help people like my parents did and assholes like you walking around sounding proud of yourselves for quitting make me sick'."

"Wow" I stared wide eyed. "Mom said that?"

He chuckled. "You'd be surprised to know that was the watered-down version Madi. Anyways, as I was pinned against the wall, I kept thinking how easy it would be for me to flip the switch and push her against the wall or pin her down—" Their story, I thought to myself, sounds like it came straight out of a quirky romance novel. Not noticing that my mind went elsewhere, dad kept going. "She was being pretty loud and although we were in a closet, I knew for a fact other people could hear. But the longer I stared into her warm brown eyes, the more lost I felt. You see, it was unclear to me why I wasn't calming this woman down and why although I have the upper hand, I felt paralyzed"

I blanched. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

He reached over and pat my shoulder. "I didn't know it then kiddo but that was the moment I started falling for her."

I shook my head vigorously. "Dad, I am not—"

"What I'm trying to say," He intercepted my denial. "Is in a confrontational situation, put some distance between you and that person. Physical, mental and if possible emotional. When I was trapped in that closed space with your mother, all I could think about was how fierce her brown eyes were and how close she was. Distance from this person will clear your mind and help you think straight."

My mouth twist as if I've just tasted something sour. Is he saying I can't think straight around Owen? That my brain gets foggy because I can't stop thinking about him so it's hard for me to focus? What am I twelve?

Okay fine, he's attractive. I find Owen Clark attractive. So what? I'm not in love with him. I'm definitely not falling for him; I was just intrigued because he's the first guy I've really seen in a long time. Of course, I'm talking about likability rather than visibility. There's something about his eyes and the way he carries himself —I just don't understand how him and Brittney are compatible. There's no way. She's not good for him, at all.

"Now," Dad's voice went back to resembling the authoritative figure he was in the kitchen. "In a combative situation, keeping your distance isn't the most effective strategy. If you're unable to predict their next move, then you must distract them —don't give them time to pounce"

"How do I distract them?" I asked, stupidly forgetting that we are no longer talking about Owen but an actual fighting scenario.

His expression hardened. I automatically locked my knees and straightened my spine, turning into a cadet. "Madi Fields, name three ways you can distract your opponent —quickly"

"Talking, bluffing and coercing" I announced, speaking rapidly.

"Good," He nodded in satisfaction. "I do believe that you technically just said talk three times though—" His eyes returned to its usual gentle state and he studied me carefully before saying, "There are other ways Madi, but I'll give you the benefit if the doubt this time"

"Okay." He's right but ever since I woke up this morning my brain has been preoccupied with thoughts of other people and that didn't leave much room for anything else.

"Go, otherwise you'll be late for school" He waved me off with a worried look taking over his features. "I didn't take you seriously at first, but I think you might need a quick refresher course after all"

I acknowledged him one last time before riding off on my bike, glad I managed to squeeze in a training session but withdrawn from the revelations this morning.

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