L-Bomb fo' Shizzle, Bruh

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Noah, Jackson and I had only been walking in the park for a few minutes when we were ambushed with snowballs by Lucas.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were at the doctor's office!" Noah sputtered, wiping snow off his face.

Lucas shrugged and swayed from side to side.

"The surgery was pretty quick, it didn't hurt at all, I felt numb, I checked my phone, you said in the group chat that you were coming here so I-"

"Whoa whoa whoa," I interrupted. "You have a group chat? Without moi?!"

Jackson sighed and rolled his eyes.

Lucas pulled out his phone, and a chime came from mine.

Hey, that rhymed...

I pulled my small iPhone 5 out. A notification from "tSWIFTbaeeee"showed up.

"Called it," Noah muttered, looking over my shoulder.

Jackson glared at his screen and started to type. (An iPhone 7, in case you were wondering).

Group Name Deleted

Lucas crossed his arms and pouted.

"Dude, why you always gotta be in a dunk, huh?"

What...what's a dunk?

"It's funk, Lucas," Noah said dryly. "And why, why in the world, would you use words like that?"

"Yo, I'm L-Bomb fo' shizzle, bruh. I'm da freshest, realest homie ever ,bruh! I got them swag a-"

What sound does a snowball make when it collides with someone's face? Like, how do I even describe it? What onomatopoeia word do I use?

I'm looking for this word because that's what happened.

A medium sized, perfect sphere of snow hit Lucas right in the face in the middle of his cringey hip-hop dialogue.

And it was amazing.

The snow slid off of his face, revealing Lucas' gaping mouth and wide eyes. Noah and I followed his gaze to a very smug looking Jackson, who was dusting the snow off his hands.

"Oh it is on like Donkey Kong," Lucas proclaimed. The snow had apparently cleansed his mouth of slang and a terrible Brooklyn accent.

With this statement, we were off, running in every direction to throw and avoid snowballs.

Well I have no stamina, so Jackson soon cornered me. I was surrounded by trees.

Trees. I can climb trees. I can shimmy up 'em so fast, I turn into the goddamn speed force.

But Jackson didn't know this, so being the poor, unknowing soul he is, he foolishly suggested:

"Why don't you surrender, hmm? It'll make this a lot better for you."

I pretended to ponder the ridiculous idea, tapping my chin.

"How about no."

With that, I climbed up the tree like an effing squirrel.

Jackson stared up at me with amusement, awe, and surprise. And a little fear.

That's right. Be scared. Be very scared.

"Did ya find her?" Noah asked, running up to Jax. He looked up to where Jackson was watching and saw me. I waved nonchalantly.

Actually, I was anything but calm. Because the thing is...

how do I get down from here?

I decided to milk the attention while I could.

"Bow down to your queen, peasants," I commanded.

My authoritative voice needed some work, but it was definitely effective.

Lucas arrived to see the two kneeling on the ground with their arms raised to me.

"Ooooh, are we joining a cult?" he asked eagerly. This kid is so high right now, he's literally turned into Noah. And Noah is acting so responsible, he's turned into Lucas. It's like they swapped bodies.

Scary.

After a few minutes, I announced in my most regal voice, "I require your assistance for my desent to the ground."

Jax gaped at me. "You-need-help-getting-down?"' he coughed out between laughs. I can just imagine myself slamming an imaginary scepter on the ground.

"No, I said I require your assistance."

Jackson held his arms out. "Jump."

This boy has gone batshit crazy.

Noah and I must be rubbing off on him.

"Has Hell frozen over? 'Cause if it has, then sure."

I could hear Lucas whisper from here. "So, we're part of a Satan-worshiping cult?"

Jackson smiled. "C'mon, Jas. Trust me."

Trust him.

Ha. 

I took a deep breath and jumping into his arms.

And we both toppled to the ground, him under me.

And I was fine. Huh.

"Are you good? Does anything hurt?" Jackson questioned, standing up.

"Nope! I got boobs of steel."

-----------------FLASH----------------------

The boys finally dropped me home, after and hour of arguing over the group chat name (we decided on GOAT, partially because Lucas and Noahare into acronyms, and partially because the boys eat like goats).

That's when all my emotions came rushing back to me.

It's still my Mother's Death Anniversary.

A few hours of fun isn't going to change that, no matter how many times I try to forget it.

My gosh, listen to me.

I'm trying to forget her death. What a terrible daughter.

But I've cried so many tears. Why can't it just be over? Haven't I suffered enough?

When I'm with my friends, I feel like I'm at the top of the mountain. I've pushed through so much pain, trudging uphill, and I finally get my reward.

And then there's no where to go but down.

As soon as I'm happy, life goes "LOL one sec."

It's like everyone is living their lives while I'm stuck here in this hole I can't climb out of.

And it sucks. It really, freaking, sucks.

The worst part is, nobody knows. And for a long time, nobody cared.

It's a little known fact that I'm a great actress. I've acted in the movieof my life for years, playing a character that's completely different from myself for so long that I've almost turned into her.

It's like I'm wearing a mask.

I know, I'm throwing around figurative language and crap but just bare with me.

This isn't some Mardi Gras, colorful, bejeweled mask that covers half my face and hurts my eyes.

It's like an exact replica of my face, just with a different expression.

smile.

The last time I smiled (before the Boys arrived) was when I saw that video of the adorable cat flushing a toilet.

And that was a looooong time ago.

Meow,meow, flush. Meow, meow, flush. Meow, me-

Okay, getting off topic here.

The point is, I'm at a place where it might be okay to take off my mask.

I'm at a place where I have friends, and protection. Life is good. Friends are good. Bullies don't exist. Father's never home.

I'm at the top of the mountain.

And you know what that means?

There's no where to go but down.

I know it's going to happen eventually. But for right now, I can stall as much as possible.

If I don't change, my position on the mountain of life won't change.

But one slip up and gravity will pull me down, tumbling down the crooked, bumpy ride of life.

And now I'm craving Rocky Road.


I'm so sorry. Actually. Like really sorry. I'm so mad at myself for not updating.

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