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A crowd had made a circle surrounding me, Lucas, Noah, Jax, and Mason. The latter was having an intense stare of with my new bestie, and I was internally freaking out.

"Why do you even care about her? She's just a piece of trash!"

I listened with interest, because I truly wanted to know, too. Sure, we had a lot of fun last night, (gods, that sounds dirty af) but standing up to the most popular guy at school for wittle old me is next level stuff!

Jackson growled. Like, seriously, I'm not shitting you. He legit growled.

"Don't you dare call her trash! You're the only piece of shit I see around here."

I saw Mason tense up, his arms twitching to throw a punch, and I was instantly reminded of my father. That was enough to scare me off, but the insane anger Mason felt did not make Jax back down.

"Jax, it's fine. Let's just get to class," I pleaded, tugging on his arm. He glanced at me, his eyes burning with rage.

"No, Jasmine, it's not fine," he hissed. "You let this ass walk all over you!"

I glared at him. "I'm strong. I can take it."

"You're not strong, Jasmine. You won't stand up to him. That makes you weak."he snapped cruelly. I let go of his arm and stepped back. His words pierced my chest.

Weak. He called me weak.

"Weak!" Father yelled. "You're nothing more than a weak, ugly piece of trash! Nobody will ever love you!"

"You're weak!"he taunted. "She's gone because of you! You don't deserve to live when she doesn't!"

I closed my eyes. He didn't mean that. He was just angry. Breathe in. Breathe out.

"Jackson, seriously. Let's GO,"I demanded. He ignored me and punched Mason in the gut.

And thus a war began

----------------------------------------------

I walked as fast as I could to the library. I needed a book to take me out of reality.

Mason and Jackson had a rather bloody fight, resulting in them both being sent to the principal's office. They are suspended for three days, which is quite a relief because I didn't want to face Jackson. I know that he was only upset with me because I wouldn't stand up to Mason, and I know that he wasn't aware of what the word "weak" would do to me, but I still felt pain every time I pictured his face. I hated thinking that Jackson could be a completely different person, one that was so much like the father I came to school to escape. Violent, angry, and rude.

Sure, Mason was a terrible person. Physically, what he did was much worse than Jackson's actions, but Mason was Mason. He's just an unloved bully looking for entertainment, wanting to belong. That was no excuse, of course, but knowing that he's just another sad hater in this cruel world lessened that pain.

But Jackson was my friend. He was nice and loving, and hilarious. When someone you know, and truly like, does something that hurts you, you feel pain 1,000 times worse than the kick of some bully.

I sat down on a cushioned chair, but before I could kick back and read, Noah and Lucas interrupted me. I internally groaned. I really don't need to deal with their shit right now.

"When were you planning on telling us about what Mason does to you everyday?" Lucas demanded. I glared at him. Who did he think he was?

"I am not obliged to tell you anything. You aren't my friends. And I don't want your pity or your help," I sneered. I didn't need anyone.

Lucas slammed his hand on the table.

"Why are you so damn stubborn? We're trying to help you, but you think you're to good for us! You didn't even bother to thank Jackson for what he did!"

That made me explode.

"Thank him?! Why would I thank him for starting an unnecessary fight? Why would I thank him for angering Mason even more? For causing so much drama? I didn't ask for it, and I sure as hell won't be thanking him!"

Lucas was red in the face, his hands balled up in fists. Noah rested his hand on Lucas' shoulder and looked at me.

"We just don't understand why you won't stand up to that asshole. Or atleast trust us," he explained. "We want to help you."

I could see the pity in his eyes. I was some charity case, some sad experiment to them. When they got tired of me, they would toss me to the side like everyone else had. I refused to cry tears for them.

"No. I don't need any friends. Just stay out of my way," I commanded. Lucas' nose flared in frustration and he glared at me.

"Jackson was right. You are weak. To weak to trust, to love, to weak to be happy. To weak to take risks. You're guarding your heart because you're scared that people will realize that inside, you're an insecure, sad little brat, despite the brave face you put on." And he turned on his heel and walked away with Noah.

I sat there for a while, in shock. Not because he called me a weak coward, although the memories that triggered made my eyes tear up. But because everything he said, is true.

I am to scared to trust. To heartbroken to open up. To sad to love or be loved.

But for good reason. However true his statements are, Lucas has no right to judge me. 

I couldn't trust, because I wasn't naive. I saw how cruel the world is, and now that's all I see. 

I refuse to open up, because nobody can know what I go through. Nobody should look at me with pity, or know how weak and unloved I truly am.

And no, I can't love. Because to love someone, you must first love yourself. As if that could ever happen.

And how dare he call me a brat? He was the one residing in his nice little mansion, with his maid at his feet and his parents smiling down at him. He was perfect. 

He had no idea what I had been through, and I definetly wasn't going to tell him the sad story of my life.

-----------------Pink Fluffy Unicorns, Dancing on Rainbows--------------------------------------

I was sitting in my room when a crash came from downstairs. My father called me to come down, and I braced myself for pain.


Two hours later, I was lying in the bath tub, washing blood off my body and putting ointment and bandaids all over my body. I swallowed as many pain killers as I could. 

I opened my cabinet for some lotion when I saw the empty bottles of concealer and foundation.

Shit.

What is my life even?

My bruises and cuts were noticible and disgusting enough that even the teachers that had a blind eye when it came to bullying would notice. Not only them, but the Boys would surely bother me about it, trying to prove that they cared.

Oliver Queen will dress up as a pink bunny before that happens.

I had no choice but to run down to the nearest drugstore to get some cheap makeup.

----------------Iiiiiiiiiiii love monnnnnnnnnnnney---------------------

I was looking for my brand of concealer when the door opened. I peaked at it from behind it and cursed the God of Coincidences. 

You've obviously realized by now that the Boys had come waltzing in. 

I ducked behind the racks and quickly scanned the aisle for my makeup. When I finally found it, I breathed a sigh of relief and snuck up the cashier.

And of course, she was an old lady that was slower than that sloth in Zootopia.

And by sheer bad luck, the Boys just happened to get in line behind me to buy their beer while the lady was scanning my items in slo-mo.

I litterally can't even.

I pulled my hood up and hid my face with my hair, praying to the gods that I wouldn't be recognised. 

And I wasn't! YAY!

Until I walked away, that is.

"Jasmine?" Noah called out as I walked to the door. I didn't turn, hoping Noah would think he was wrong, but apparently, the gods enjoyed watching the struggle that is my life.

"Hey, girl, what's happening?" Noah asked awkwardly. I walked faster, but he matched my pace. 

We got to the parking lot when suddenly he stopped. I hesitated in surprise, but decided to keep moving when Noah said in a deadly serious (see what I did there?) voice:

"What the hell happened to your face? You look like shit that was shitted by shit."

What the hell?

I kept walking. Give up Noah. Give up.

Well it's Noah, so he obviously didn't. 

"Jasmine. I know it's you."

I turned around. Hopefully he wouldn't see how bad my face looked in the dark of the night.

"What?"

He smiled. 

"How's life?" he asked.

"Shitty," I scowled. "Why do you care?"

He groaned. "We're doing this again? I swear, you're more stubborn than Grandma Ash, and she still refuses to believe that pluto isn't a planet!"

I shrugged. "If you want to talk to me, you're gonna have to put up with my attitude. I really am not worth it, so it's probably in your best interest to walk away."

He glared at me. "Don't say that! I think you're the best thing since Reese's stuffed with Reese's Piecees!"

I rolled my eyes. 

"I have to get home, okay?"

"Okay." He smiled, winked, and walked away.

Dumbass.


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