I sit on my couch in the living room. Drink my vodka in one gulp. "Tell me what to do!"

Consuela, Christian, and Jack look at each other and me. "Apologize," they say in unison. God, they are so stupid! "I know! But how?" I ask impatiently.

"Well, obviously, you don't know, E," Christian says to me.

"What do you mean? Did you see what happened earlier, Christian? She ignored me! You have to help me. You are part of this shit!" I point at him.

Christian holds both of his hands up in surrender. "Chill out bro! I want to help you. Really. My advice is.. um.." He caresses his chin as if he is trying to find the words. "In my opinion, you should take a Relationship 101 Class."

What the hell?

I glare at him and he laughs. Fucking laugh!

"Ethan, you didn't even say sorry to Mads." This time is Consuela's soft voice.

I look at her in disbelief. "I did, Consuela. All I did is telling her how sorry I am!" I did that, right?

"You didn't say sorry, Ethan. She needs the word. Women need you to say it. Actually, we can see she's not that angry at first. She is getting angrier because you kept giving her your reason. All she wants is a sorry from you. A simple sorry."

I stare at Consuela like she just told me that the sun was rising from the south.

"What you did is making her angrier at you, dear cousin. You flaunt your money, dude. We're talking about Madeline here."

"What do you mean?"

"You realize she's not into your money, right?" Christian asks me warily.

"Of course I know. She likes me because me... just me." And I can't help the smile forming on my mouth. It's always warmed heart when I remember about the day she agreed to be my girlfriend.

"God, you are so whipped and stupid," Christian murmur under his breath. "If you knew, why'd you give her your Amex?"

"So she can pamper herself. Told you I did that because I feel sorry," I say stubbornly. Why can't they understand what I mean?

"You realize she's not into your money and you still give her your money? Wow, E!" Says Christian sarcastically.

Shit! He's right...

"But the car..."

"She deliberately did that to piss you off. It's so obvious, Ethan." Christian shakes his head like he couldn't believe I'm that stupid.

"She asked for your sorry, and you didn't do that. What you did is give her this and that. The things that she doesn't even care about. You didn't say sorry, you were too busy to defend yourself. This is not about who win or lose, Ethan. You are in a relationship not in business," Consuela tells me.

"Fuck!" I curse under my breath. "What should I do now?" Now, I feel like I'm an idiot. Fuck!!

"Gesture, dude! Do something she likes from you."

"She loves when I make love to her." And the two of them choke, while Jack sighs like he knows he needs to be patient with me.

"Say sorry! Mean it!" Consuela lost her control. She never raised her voice to me, but now she does. "Do something that makes her felt that you really are sorry! And don't forget to say sorry! The word!"

I think hard, but my mind is blank. All I can figure out is go to the store where Madeline is, haul her back to here, cuff her in the bed, make love to her until she forgives me.

"You really have no idea, are you E?" Christian gives me a look.

I stare at him blankly.

He sighs. "God, I spend my half hour teaching an idiot. Consuela, can you make us some grilled salmon? Looks like Ethan needs some food for his brain." He puts his arm around Consuela's shoulders and they go.

I glance at Jack. He shrugs. "Text me if you need me to find the Relationship 101 Class."

***

I'm eating the fucking salmon with Christian in the pantry. My phone ping, I read the notification. A smile forming on my lips.

"Who's that?" Christian asks while munching his salmon.

"Notification from bank."

"And?"

"Nothing. It's Madeline. She is using the Amex. Hopefully she will be better after this." I grin and drink my white. "Nice!! Suddenly the food taste so good, buddy!!" I say, enjoying my food while Christian chuckles and shakes his head.

In a few minutes, the ping keeps coming to my phone. Christian raises his eyebrow at me. "E, are you sure that's not a fraud?"

I frown and check my phone. "No, the store is on Rodeo street. So it should be Madeline. Should I call? I don't want to disturb her girl time with Meredith."

Christian shrugs. "It won't hurt your pocket, anyway." He drinks his scotch, and the ping keeps coming. Christian chuckles. "Do you want my advice?"

"What?"

"Don't mess with your girlfriend."

***

The notifications from bank didn't stop until almost dinnertime. 'Finally she's on the way home' I thought. I wait for her until 8pm. But she is nowhere to be seen. I call her. She picks up on the fifth ring. Normally she picked up on the first on the second ring.

"Sweetness," I say when she picks up the phone.

"Yes, Ethan?" God, I missed her voice.

"Where are you? I'm waiting for you but you haven't come back?"

"I... um... I'm going to sleepover at Meredith."

"You what?" My voice is rising.

Silence.

"Sweetness? Are you leaving me?" I can taste the bitter in my mouth and the nervousness in my body. No shit!

"What? No!" she says fast and I sag on my couch, relieve. "It's just.. um.. I didn't know you want me to be home. So I decided to stay with Meredith."

My jaw drop. "Sweetness, I love you. How come I don't want you to be here? I thought you need some time, so I didn't bother you."

"Um.. well.. it's late Ethan. I'm gonna sleep over here, okay."

"I can pick you up," I say fast.

"No. Just enjoy your Saturday night alone, okay. Bye!" She hangs up.

What? How come I enjoy my Saturday night when she's not here with me?

In a few minutes, she texts me...

Madeline: I'll see you on Monday. Good night.

What the fuck?!?

***

"Ethan..."

Is that my grandma? What time is it? God, my head is so hurt. I drank too much last night. Christian and Mike had their own night last night. So I was alone, and since my mood was as bad as the economy nowadays, I drank my vodka in my room. How many bottles did I drink last night? Damn! I pay for that now.

"Jesus, Ethan!" Oh yes, that's my grandma's voice. I try to open my eyes. But it hurts.

"Were you drunk?" Grandma asks me. Her voice is like a hammer on my head. She stomps outside my room. I try to sit down slowly.

"Drink." She puts a glass in my hand and I do. "Eat." She gives me pills, most likely Advil, and I do too like a good kid.

"What happened to you? How much alcohol did you drink last night?"

"Lost count." My head is still hurting. I only remember I drank the vodka right from the bottle... bottles, to be precise.

"Where is Madeline?"

"At Meredith's."

"So, if she was not around, you are allowed to drink that much?" Her voice rising.

"Jeez, Grandma. Lower your voice." I inhale and open my eyes slowly. "Ask Consuela. I'm going to shower. I'll see you downstairs."

After a long hot shower, finally I feel human again. I walk to the pantry. Grandma is there with Consuela.

"Good morning, beautiful lady." I kiss her cheek.

"It's almost afternoon, Ethan Hall!" She narrows her eyes at me.

I shrug and sit next to her. Consuela puts a cup of coffee in front of me.

"So, you are single now?" And I choke on my coffee. Literally choke. The coffee comes from my nose. Argh! That's nasty!

I take a napkin and wipe my mouth. "Grandma! No, I'm not. Madeline is still my girlfriend. That will never happen!"

"So? Why are you here and do nothing?"

"I..." I;m so clueless. What I have to do now?. Maybe I really need to enroll in the Relationship 101 class. Fuck me!

"God, you can be so stupid! Do something to take your girl back!"

"I want to. But I'm clueless."

Grandma inhales. Like she is talking with a kid. "Do something that she likes. You know what she likes, right?"

"It's useless, Helen. He doesn't know," Consuela chimes in. And my grandma looks at me like there is a Harry Potter wound on my forehead.

"She likes it when you treat her like a gem. Let her see that she is special in your eyes. Madeline is a simple woman. As long as you are sincere, she will like it. And show some effort. Do not flaunt your money. Your money means nothing to her."

I stare at my grandma. And maybe the coffee hit my brains. Suddenly I know what to do. I just pray this time my brain is really doing a right job.

***

"Helen!" Madeline runs to her and hugs her. She is so pretty, even though she's deliberately ignoring me.

"I missed you, sweetheart," my grandma says and they exchange some sweet words. Both are ignoring me. Thanks, Helen. You're no longer my grandma. "Okay, I need to go now, Mads. I have a birthday lunch to attend." Grandma stands up and hugs Madeline.

"Oh, wait. Mm... Ethan has something for you." Madeline gives Helen a Hermes paper bag.

Me? I don't remember I asked her to buy something for Grandma.

Helen glances at me, and she knows it. She smiles at Madeline. "Let's see what is inside, shall we?"

They open the box. It's a bag. From the way it looks, the price must be handsome. The notification from the bank told me that the price is more expensive than some normal car. So she bought it for Helen. I smile to myself. The most expensive thing she spent with the Amex is for my grandma. She always knows how to make me fall even harder for her.

"This is lovely. Thanks, Madeline." Helen beams. "Actually, I'm going to wear it right now." She takes out all the stuff from her bag and moves it to her new bag.

"It's Ethan, Helen. Not me," Madeline says in a lower voice, like she doesn't want me to hear.

"Oh, I'm sure, dear." Helen winks at her. "Now, I need to go or else I would be late. We're going to have dinner together, Mads. You have free time tonight?"

"Yes, Helen." She smiles and Helen nods. "Ethan, put this in my room later." She puts her old bag inside the paper bag. Helen looks at me and gives me a look as if she wants to say 'fix it!'

"Yes, Grandma."

She kisses Madeline's cheek and goes away.

I walk toward Madeline. "Sweetness, I missed you." I hold her hand.

And finally, her eyes meet mine. "Ethan... I..." I touch her lips to stop her. "Come, let's eat our lunch. I owe you an apology." I take her to the garden near the lake.

It's time to do some damage control.