I love you, Sweetness...

I turn in my bed. I can smell Ethan's Oakwood. Ethan already went back to his house. Last night was intense. After the lovemaking and Ethan's confessions, he left me in the room. Said that he would start packing up. He realized I needed some time. My mind was blank for 10 mins.

I love you, Sweetness...

I know my feeling for him are deep. But somehow I still can't utter the "I love you" to him. I need more time to make sure that this is love. What I have with Ethan is different from what I have with Thomas and my other exes. I noticed it from the beginning.

Yesterday when we were packing, Ethan was acting normal, as if he never said those words. But when we finished with the packing. He cradled my face and kissed me, while saying, "I love you, Sweetness. I don't want this to be a burden, and I'm not asking you to love me now. I will work for it. To make you fall in love with me."

I smiled and kissed him. "Thank you, Ethan," I whispered to him, and we made love again. Ethan kept saying 'I love you' whenever his mouth landed on my skin. And damn! I loved it when he said that.

After another session of lovemaking on the kitchen counter, Ethan went back home. He kissed me passionately in front of my door and said he loves me (again). He didn't wait for me to say that. It feels like he said that because he wanted to. I know Ethan will never push me to do anything I'm not ready yet. How can he be so perfect?

I have a perfect boyfriend who loves me. I need to be a better girlfriend for us, too.

***

I fill my morning with some shopping. I go to my favorite mini mart that sells everything authentic from the town. Visit some other favorite stores and go to drop souvenir of my former coworkers, not really souvenir, but more like something I know they would love. Apparently, they saw the news about me and Ethan (thanks to the paparazzi). Some of them are giddy with the news, some are cool.

In the afternoon, I go back to Helen's house. Helen greets me at the door. "I expected to see you come here with Ethan, sweetheart. It's okay for me. Really." She winks and I blush.

I hold Helen's hand to stop her. I need to talk to someone. And Helen is the right person. It's not because she is Ethan's grandmother. But because she knows love. I know her marriage with her late husband, Michael Hall, was filled with love. She told me their story from time to time.

"I want to talk to you. Where's Ethan?"

"Preparing our lunch," she says, studying me. As if she finds her answer from there. "Come on. Let's go to the garden." She takes my hand.

We walk in the garden. Helen looks at me and exhales. "What did my grandson do to you?"

"Nothing, Helen. He did nothing. It's... he said he loves me." I glance at Helen and she beams happily.

"Good job Ethan!" She says under her breaths and I can't help but laugh.

"So, what's wrong with that Mads? It's good to have someone who really loves you. Don't you think?"

I shake my head. "Nothing's wrong, Helen. It just... I..." I shrug.

"You're not sure about Ethan?"

I inhale deeply. "Sometimes I still can't believe that a man like Ethan will like a woman like me. He even loves me. Somehow it seems surreal."

"You don't know yourself that much, sweetheart. You're such a beautiful and smart woman. I think you are his perfect match. He is always too serious for his own good. But somehow, with you by his side, he always looks more relaxed and happy. It's like... you are the colors of his black and white world," she says and I blush. "And you are so sincere with everything, Mads. Your reaction is so pure. You fake nothing. Even your blush can make people fall for you."

I laugh. "Really Helen? You want me to believe it?"

"Of course! Trust me, Mads. Why do you think I was so eager to see you two together?" She asks me and I stare at her. "Because I'm sure you'll be good for Ethan, and Ethan will be good for you," she says softly and touches my cheek. "Don't ever think that you are less than equal for Ethan, sweetheart."

If anybody ever told me this, maybe they just want me to feel better. But from Helen.. she is Ethan's grandmother. She surely wants the best for Ethan, and if she said I'm good enough for Ethan, then I believe I am. So I nod at her. "Thank you, Helen."

"You're most welcome, my dear."

"Helen, one more thing. How do you know you love Michael Hall?"

Helen looks at me and smiles. "From here." She touches my heart. "When my day starts and ends with him. When what he is thinking is more important than anything else in the world. When I realize there is no else I'd rather be except him... that's when I realized I love Michael."

***

We're on the way back to LA. Helen will come to LA for the charity at the end of the month. And she points me as the head of the charity. I was so shocked when she told me that. But Ethan encouraged me too. He said no one handles the charity for now. And it's easier for me to make a move if I'm the head of this charity. So I accepted it.

"Ethan, tomorrow I want you to check at the invitation I've made and the details of the timetable for the charity. I need your help." I lean over to him, looking him up with my puppy eyes. I really need his help. I don't want to fuck up this charity.

"Are you asking me as your boyfriend or boss?" He teases me.

"Both! No... boyfriend." I grin at him. "So you don't have any reason to reject me."

He laughs. "Okay, but I want a reward," he says, putting his arm around my shoulders.

I narrow my eyes at him. "What do you want?"

He laughs even harder. How can Helen say this man is too serious? It's so easy to make him laugh. "Relax, Sweetness. I just want you to be my date on the charity. Deal?"

I giggle and kiss him on the cheek. "Deal! Actually, it's a done deal from the beginning since you are my boyfriend. I wouldn't want you to come with another woman, Ethan."

He curses and laughs. "Can I change?" I laugh and close his mouth. "Nope!"

And then I remember something Helen said earlier. "Ethan, why Helen kept saying that she always knew we would end up together? I mean... before that um.. faithful night... have we met each other by any chance?"

Ethan shrugs. "I asked her this morning too about that. She just said I have a short-term memory. She forgot I have a photographic memory," Ethan chuckles.

I laugh. "Maybe it's Helen and her fantasy."

While we are laughing, we hear Jack's chuckle from the driver's seat.

"What is it Jack?" I ask. He never joined our conversation. Not even a smile. I wonder why he'd chuckle now.

"Helen is wrong. Not just Ethan has a short-term memory, but both of you have a short-term memory."