Let's Not Meet

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Being stalked for 16 years is enough!
This is probably going to be a LONG read so please bare with me as this story has a LOT of details. The reason I wanted to share my experience is because I know a lot of people have at one time in their lives, dealt with someone who was either super creepy or began to stalk them. So here goes!

Here is a short history of how this all began. I was about 16 when my Mother told me a friend of hers needed a babysitter and I was more than willing to take the job because I could always use the extra cash. I have a very close relationship with my Mother so I had complete trust in this friend of hers as my Mother doesn't trust just anyone. So I began to babysit for her 10 and 7 year old daughters. The oldest had a major attitude but after I became their regular sitter, she wasn't as difficult to deal with. If you're curious as to why I am sharing this, it's a vital detail to the story.

Let's fast forward several years. I am about 19 years of age now. I know this because I had graduated high school the year before. This was a major deal in my life so it's all very vivid in my mind. I hadn't babysat for this family for about 2 years by this time. I was pretty busy with going to college, working my part-time job and spending spare time with family and close friends. One day my Mother approaches me and asks if I would be willing to befriend a girl that her parents felt need socialization. She gave me a few details before I made my decision. She told me that the girl that she wanted me to befriend was one of the girls I used to sit for. I asked her who she was referring to as I sat for several families when I was a full-time sitter, she told me who it was. I was slightly hesitant because of the attitude she had when I first met her but I was always open to helping other people in any way that I could.

I began to get together with her every once in awhile. I would invite her to small gatherings with some of my other friends, but only if there were other younger ones with us, like their little sisters or something. I was always in groups of people of various ages. Usually around the age of 13+ and always with both guys and girls. My older friends and I were sort of the "big sisters" of the group so that's why we were always happy to have those type of get-togethers.

She slowly opened up to me. She began to share with me that she was dealing with depression and often felt that she was unloved by her family and friends. She also told me she had contemplated suicide and was cutting herself. Well, the reason I took to her more than the other younger ones is because I had dealt with those same exact thoughts and feelings when I was around her age. So I would do my best to give her a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on. I would give her some advice, that I thought would benefit her. Once she felt she could trust me, I tried to broaden her horizon but things slowly would take a strange and eventually sinister turn.

Now when I would try to invite her to our usual get-together or social events, she seemed very standoffish. I was a little surprised but not much because I knew how difficult things were for her and it did take her some time to warm up to people. Eventually she began to try and drag me along in her when she had her 'I don't want to be here' attitude. For example; we would go to the house of another friend of mine. There would be maybe 6-8 of us total and we would watch movies or do something else. This was before the days of social media and the 'everyone has a cell phone' era. She seemed to want to go, but as soon as we got to where ever it was we were, she wanted to leave. She would pull me aside and say, "I don't want to be here, let's go." Well, I at first was kind and would tell her, "Come on, let's just stay for a little while and if you still don't want to stay, we will leave." I soon learned that she didn't want to stay, even if we all were having a great time.

Eventually she kept pulling me aside whenever we were in a group gathering. So I eventually stopped inviting her because all she wanted to do was leave, no matter what the circumstances were. I mention this because it's another vital part of the story.

I would just spend time with her once in awhile, just her and I. She began to call me on a daily basis. It started with 2-3 times a day, and eventually it got upto 7-10 times every day. As I said before, this time in my life I was always extremely busy so I wasn't always home. I had my own telephone line because I was able to pay for it myself. I had an answering machine, not voicemail because I was too cheap to pay for a feature I didn't need. Anyway, I would have to change the tapes way too often because of how much she would call me and leave message after message. She would leave messages like; "Where are you?!" ... "Why aren't you answering my phone calls?" ... "Who are you with?!" That was a little too weird for me! Even when I told her that I wasn't always home until late in the evening or even night time, so all she had to do was leave one message and as soon as I was home I'd return all of the messages I had for the day. That didn't deter her from continuing to do this every single day.

I began to get really annoyed but stupid me didn't listen to my gut instincts. I kept telling myself, 'She just needs a friend, it's not her fault.' Boy would I soon learn that was just not the case.

Eventually I kind of drifted away from her for a bit, not intentionally, just because things in life seemed to speed up and I was even busier than before. I would have very few times that I could get together with a friend or two, maybe going out to eat, shopping at the mall or maybe seeing a movie. Out of nowhere, she began showing up wherever I was, and NO, I didn't tell her where I was going or who I was with. Like I said, I had pretty much drifted away from spending time with her. We lived in a pretty big suburb, so it's not like it would have been easy to know where to find me. I began to get really creeped out because I thought it was a little too 'coincidental' that she was everywhere I was when I would be doing anything recreational. She even found out where I worked and what college I was going to, something that I never told her. She was obviously not college age so why was she at my college campus with her Mother... she wasn't even in high school yet.

This is not even the creepiest part. Yes, there's more to this story...

When I was on break from college, I had the time to spend with family and close friends. I did get together with her a couple of times, still not listening to the 'CREEP METER' I had going off. I was so stupid. Well, things took an even more weird and unexplainable turn. She would ask to spend the night, and I didn't really do sleepovers anymore since I was of age and pretty much leading my own life. But she was still a young one so I would invite her once in awhile to stay over. Somehow, and I have no memory of how this happened... she wouldn't leave. It's like she spent the night, and just never left, without an invitation of course. I had told her that she couldn't stay with me because she has her own life and so did I. She got very angry with me, and for several days refused to leave. Thankfully I was still living at home and my Mom had to step in and pretty much tell her bluntly to GET OUT!

She had a little temper tantrum that night but she did end up leaving. By this time, I had been fed up with her irrational and erratic behavior. I was avoiding her like the plague. I didn't call her back, if she was somewhere I was, I would duck into hiding, so to speak and tried to lose her in the crowd. That didn't stop her from increasing her strange behavior. Her family even did some things that I feel sort of helped her to stalk me more. Now this is not something I am making up, this actually happened. She moved to a street around the corner from where I live. Now that's not the scary part. Her and her family moved into a house, which from her living room window, you could see directly into our backyard, and from there, you could see the window to my bedroom. Yes, that happened! I only know this because I found out where she had moved, and my Mom was still friends with her Mother so I remember going over there once when she wasn't home and when I looked out their living room window, I could see our house... my bedroom window from our backyard. (We had a chainlink fence so you could see everything.)

I got the chills when I saw that. When we got home, I informed my Mom, who was so busy socializing that she didn't even notice. That's when my Mother tried to talk to her Mom and tell her about the situation. Her parents both just ignored my Mom's warning. My Mom tried to ask them to talk to her about backing off, well that didn't happen. Things just escalated from there. Her Mom even tried to convince me to stay friends with her and wanted to pretty much pawn her daughter off on me. I don't even remember what she said to try and convince me. I just remember saying to myself; 'Okay lady, you're just as nuts as your daughter.' It wasn't long before the most sinister and disturbing part happened... this was the LAST straw!

I was home alone one day. She was still living in the 'stalker house' so this had to be how she knew I was the only one home. I wasn't talking to her, I had even changed my phone number and told my friends to absolutely not give it to her, which they respected and happily obliged. Anyway, as I said, I was home alone. It was maybe about 10:00 am and I was just getting up to take a shower and get ready to start my day. As soon as I get out of the shower, I hear the doorbell ring. I think nothing of it and go to answer the door. I always looked through the peek-hole before I answered the door... something I still do to this day. I see several police officers standing there. I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, thinking something had happened to one of my family members. I answer the door and they ask me; "Are you B?" (B is in reference to my stalkers name. Using that to protect my identity.) I answered; "No, she doesn't live here." The officer then asks; "Do you have any identification with you?!" Which I answered; "Of course, but it's in the back of the house, I have to go get it." Now mind you, I am totally confused as to why they are asking me for my I.D. The officer then proceeds to tell me that he has to come with me when I go into the back of the house. I just nodded in agreement, but still confused as to what was going on. So we go into my bedroom, grab my I.D. and I show the officer who I am. He just says; "Okay, thank you. May we sit down for a moment and talk to you?" I of course agreed and motioned him back into the living room, where the other officers joined us. We sit down and they tell me that they received an "anonymous phone call" that there was a young lady that lived at my address, by the name of "B" that was extremely suicidal and may have already taken her life. I just sat there for a moment in complete shock. SI told them that she used to be a friend of mine but that I hadn't talked to her in quite awhile, but that she absolutely did not live there. SoThey asked me if I had any contact information for where she is, thankfully I still did.. then gave them her address and phone number. They thanked me for my time and left. I thought that was the end of it... not by a long shot! I apologize for the length, but this is all important for me to get out.

After they leave. I called my Mom immediately. She proceeded to tell me to come to her workplace until I had to go to my classes for that day. So I drove to her office, she owned the business so it was no problem. I stayed there until I had to go to class and then went on with the rest of my day, although shaken up a bit.

The rest of this story is from third party perspective. All of my close friends knew about the situation by this time because her behavior was way too psychotic for me and I was going to do whatever I needed to, to be safe. I believe a few friends of mine and myself were at a coffee shop... one of the internet cafe's from back in the day... and we were talking when another mutual friend walks in and comes right up to us and says; "I have to tell you something!" Looking directly at me. I was like, okay shoot! Apparently a few days before, they had run into B and they said she looked exactly like me. My jaw dropped and I asked; "What do you mean?!" We in no way look similar, at least to me. Well she had apparently gotten clothes that we similar to what I would wear, dyed her hair like mine, etc... and just looked exactly like me. I was shocked to the core. Now, the timing for me was perfect. I say that because I was getting ready to move away from the area because I was starting a new job and life had taken me in that direction. My family was moving away too, to be near me. So we in fact did move away. It was the best thing to happen to me because she just got worse over time. She began to harass my close friends, trying to get my whereabouts... like address, town I moved to, phone number. They didn't give her any information but like I said, it didn't stop her from trying to find me.

Now let's fast forward to 2012. Mind you the stalking began around the year 2000. Obviously since it's 2012, social media is a big thing and of course I had a Facebook account. I didn't even think of my 'privacy' because to me, all of that was long gone and I had eventually forgotten about B. One day I go to sign on and take a wild GUESS as who tried to friend me on Facebook. My heart sank for a second and then the first thing I did was delete her request and BLOCK her ass. Excuse my french!

Thinking I had taken care of the eerie online encounter, I was wrong yet again. She began to have "friends" of hers message me, asking me why I didn't accept her request, why did I block her. Blah blah blah! I blocked each and every person that contacted me until the messages stopped. Not quite to the end yet, sorry everyone I really didn't want it to be this long but it's just how the story goes.

The last run-in I had with her online was she tried to contact me through every social media account I had. Twitter, Instagram, etc etc. I blocked her of course! She then proceeds to try and make fake accounts with my photo and name. I thought... okay little Miss crazy, I'll fix your fanny! As you must know, by now I am more assertive and didn't take crap from anyone. I had all the fake accounts closed, reported them to the social media outlets. But not before getting as much information as I could, reporting her to the proper authorities. Thankfully, I had documented everything that happened in the past and kept it all stored away. What can I say, I'm a packrat. Haha. Once I get the reports out, the contact stopped. I also changed my name that I use on every social media account that I have. Instead of using my legal name, I use my middle name instead. This is one thing she does not know about me, no one except for my immediate family knows my middle name. I also put everything on super private and have set some high security measures!

Now one LAST fast forward. May 2016! I turn my phone on, and all of a sudden my phone says 'No Service'. I knew there had to be a mistake, so I called the phone company. Asked them why my phone had no service since I had JUST paid my bill. They looked on their system, and proceeded to tell me that in their notes, they received a phone call a few hours earlier that morning, from a young lady... they assumed it was me I guess... and she said that she had a "new phone" and that the number needed to be transferred to this new phone. When they told her that the name didn't match on the account, somehow she got them to change the name on my account, from my name to hers. I have no idea what she wanted to accomplish by doing this and even worse, how in the HELL she got my number.

I explained that this person was a long time stalker, that I had reports to the police, etc. So they had me go to their corporate office and they changed everything back to my name on the account, my phone... different number obviously. As well as putting some security measures on the account so that this wouldn't happen again. Now since then, so far, I haven't had anymore incidents. I am absolutely on high alert, because if she was willing to wait 16 years and still wants to find me, for whatever reason... there's no way in hell I am going to let my guard down.

The only reason I didn't file a restraining order is because she DID not and DOES not know where I live and I want to keep it that way. However, if she thinks that I won't ever file one if she does find me, she's got another thing coming. So B... let's not EVER meet again!

(Thank you for sticking with me through my long ass story. I do apologize for the length of it.)

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