Good afternoon dear all :-) As promised yesterday, today I am updating this story and we have a rather long and intense chapter and I guess with a couple of hints that some of you will appreciate very much ...

Hope you'll enjoy it, let me know what you think, because you all know how much I enjoy reading your comments and messages, and let me thank you for being such wondeful fans and readers!!! Bear-like hug to all of you!!!

On the right, a lovely banner klovis made for me, thanks darl, I love it! <3

Dedicated to all of you and in particular to Meira11 as a super thank you for reading and commenting all of my stories! xox

The song, well, got obsessed with that song today and listened to it while writing and thought it was perfect for this chapter, plus... I loved the movie!

Enjoy!

ANATOLY POV

His words kept going in circles in my head like a broken disk and the more I repeated them, the more they felt real.

Dima missed me and so did my family and old friends.

I couldn’t believe it, it couldn’t be true, because I was aware of the way I behaved and acted; how I treated all of them and how I kept distance, betraying their trust and feelings, turning my back at them, making sure to behave in the worst way possible. I got so much into the part that it made me forget the fact it was an act and not reality, the fact that it was me getting away and distant and not them.

I forgot and got lost.

They never really hated me, but that was because they knew nothing.

That’s right Anatoly, snap out it and stop playing the little princess part. They knew nothing about the disgusting and sick person you were. What would they say if they found out I was in love with my own twin brother? Oh well now, not so sure they’ll be so missing me. But was I still in love with my brother? I had no idea, since years passed and they were years in which I tried my best to have them hating me, because that was what I deserved.

Not love, but hate.

Right.

Apparently I forgot about many things.

I didn’t want them to love me since I was wrong and sick. My brother trusted me and there I was lusting for him, hating the stupid girls hitting on him, because let’s face it; Dima has always been the idiotic dofus that attracted girls’ attention just with his grins and moronic bluntness. I always envied in him that trait, so open and carefree. But I also loved him for that. How wrong was that?

I deserved hate and hell; didn’t that person tell me the same? I think he did, but couldn’t remember now the correct words. That person…I silently cursed and cringed in my head. Stop it there, Anatoly, don’t be a pussy and man up. For sure it wasn’t love from them that I deserved.

Another dry and humorless smirk lifted my lips and my body felt so damn tired and exhausted. Like my mind and everything in me. Damn, I was so tired of everything.

“What the hell are you laughing about?” Dima asked me, probably thinking I was making fun of his words. I think I never saw my brother so worked up and mad; no wait, he was that mad the morning he punched the hell out of me for beating that kid, Jasper. Who thought, that morning, that things were going to change so much? My brother turning into a complete mushy fag had been quite the shock, believe me.

“Nothing.” I just said, avoiding his stare.

“What do you mean nothing? You have nothing to say now? First you come over here and say a load of crap and then you simply smirk and have nothing to say?” My twin brother was again losing his temper, which was strange, because I knew him so well and it was almost impossible to bother him. Well, almost.

“Hey tiger..” The kid with the chocolate puppy eyes pulled him back and had to refrain from laughing. He had called my brother tiger. This was indeed priceless.

“Jas, don’t worry, not going to beat the crap out of him, even if I wish so much to punch some freaking sense into his head.” Dima shook his head and as usual went to ruffle his hair. He hasn’t changed one bit. His eyes then darted to me and took a step towards the place I stood completely still and our gazes met. “So, nothing to say?”

“Never knew you were such a chatty moron..” I had no idea why I kept provoking him, given how tired I grew, but guess year after year of playing a part had its back side. It retorted against you and f*ck up with your real personality.

“What? Man, can’t you stop being a prick for at least one minute? My head is about to split in two.” I let out a loud chuckle and Jasper gave me a surprised and intense look. Yeah, I could see what my brother saw in him; the kid might be a midget and annoying the hell out of me with his puppy eyes and constant blushing, but he was strong and saw deep into things. And mostly, had brought out sides of my twin brother that I never knew he had. Dima looked at me and scratched again his hair. “It’s the first time in more than four years that I hear you laughing like that. You always laughed at my jokes, remember that?”

And there I froze.

I had just slipped. Hearing him being his usual idiotic and moronic self had me slip.

“I don’t remember anything.” I simply said and saw the way his face went darker and his fists clenched.

“You actually miss Dima, isn’t that right?” I snapped my head at the owner of the voice and so did my brother. “Why don’t you admit it?” Damn it, the midget there had guts to stand a couple of feet away from me and staring at me with such confident eyes.

“None of your business, midget. Get the hell out of here.” I snarled and even if he visibly cringed, he didn’t step back. Well, my brother made him step back, because he grabbed his arm and pulled him behind his back.

“I am warning you, Anatoly. Mind your twisted self with my man or else I might really consider punching some manners in you.” He growled. I stared at him a moment in silence and then laughed out loud. I never thought my brother could be the jealous and possessive man, but he actually was. He wasn’t simply protective of Jasper, but deadly jealous, too. “Man, are you on drugs or something today?”

“I am just tired, Dima.” And that was so true.

“Then why don’t you admit it, why? How silly is all of this? I saw you before and the way you looked at Dima when he told you those words. He is just more honest than you are, why can’t you be the same?” Jasper repeated and my brother gave him a shocked look.

“Jasper…” He murmured, but the little thing there just kept staring at me.

Persistent was the midget here and that was beginning to irritate the hell out of me, because it wasn’t his damn business. It was just between Dima and I, and he had no part in that. He had no right to open his stupid mouth and spew loads of crap.

“I said to mind your damn f*cking business, you hear me?” Now I was growling and my stance had changed completely and so did my brother’s. “Put the b!tch there on a leash and take him away, none of this is your damn business.”

“You sick piece of..”

“Oh boy, shut up!” He shouted. Dima and I froze. “Of course this is my business. Dima is my boyfriend and I love him and I will not stand here without doing anything. So you better shut up and suck it up, you hear me?”

“What?” I hissed and made the stupid mistake of taking a long and threatening step towards him and in a blink I found myself slamming against the wall. “You moron..” I hissed against my brother, now pinning me with his forearm.

I saw red and reacted shoving him away, but the grabbed my jacket back and I instinctively went to do what my body commanded me when feeling threatened and so my fist connected with his jaw and he cursed in Russian. The kid gasped his name and saw him coming to us, but Dima smacked me flat on the floor and roared to him to stay back and then something else clicked in me and I went to hit him again, but he hit me first with his forehead and damn it, that hurt like f*cking hell. And then…something forcefully separated us and lifted me from the floor without many compliments.

I knew who that person was; I knew it too well.

Oleg.

“It really seems you cannot speak normally and like two civil persons.” He said with hard voice in Russian. He scanned me with such stern and piercing look that I found myself holding my breath. He had been here the whole time. He spared me another glare and then turned to my brother, who was massaging his jaw.

“Oleg man, you scared the crap out of me popping out of thin air.” Dima said eyeing him as if looking at a ghost. “Do you know how to teleport?” I heard a soft giggle and saw it was Jasper, now studying my brother’s face to see whether my punch left a bruise. I bet it did, just like it did his super hard and damn stubborn head.

“How is your jaw, Dmitri?” Oleg inquired, keeping strong hold my arm and gripping it as if he was about to snap it in two, but the hell with that; I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction to wince.

“I guess fine, it wasn’t such a strong punch after all.” That ticked me off badly.

“Bull and you know it.” I hissed.

“Shut up Tolya, then your head must be splitting in two.” He hadn’t noticed how he had called me, but I did and so did Jasper.

“Both of you, silent at once.” Oleg ordered and we all shut up and looked down.

He let go of my arm, but shot me such a severe and glacial glare that I even did not dare to breathe, and seeing that he smirked. Bastard. Sadistic bastard. He went to look at Dima’s face and concluded he needed only some ice and asked Jasper to retrieve some from the fridge. The midget there stuttered out a pathetic “yes” and blushed. What there was to blush about? If anything, he had to pale in front of that scary man. That irritated me so much and the way he timidly smiled at him irritated me even more.

“Hey baby, I am fine. Don’t worry. If you give me a kiss I’ll be completely fine.” My twin took his pet by his sides and drugged him basically pressed against him and the little things obviously blushed and I rolled my eyes. Pathetic.

“Uhm, Dima..” He tried to pull away, but without success and I felt again that pang of pain going through my body, so I looked away.

I think I felt the urge to vomit right there in hearing my brother being even more moronic. Me missing such a loser? I don’t think so. I will never admit it.

“You turned out so mushy, dear brother of mine. You are grossing me out.”

“Who cares.” He simply said shrugging his shoulders. “As long as my kitty doesn’t mind it.” I widened my eyes and went to say something, but the scary bastard here shot me another glare and then seized my chin, examining my forehead. Damn it, for a moment I thought he would snap my head, was he delicate as always with me.

“Not a single word.” He ordered and as much as I hated it, I knew I had to obey him. “Dmitri, I believe is much better if you drive Jasper at home. I will not utter a word about your fight with your father, but let me warn both of you: no more misbehaving. Am I understood? Or else I shall take matters directly in my hands.”

I automatically gulped down, because I had an idea what he meant with that and already felt the stinging pain coursing through my body. What got on my nerves was the fact that I was not always able to contain my groans, because sometimes it really hurt. Last week he caught me about to steal money in the house, since I had to give money to our leader for something I was suppose to steal and sell and damn it, the bruises were still there. The sadistic bastard here always hit in places you couldn’t easily see and places that hurt f*cking much.

“Oh man, this sucks. We haven’t even finished breakfast and I am going to starve..” Dima snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Uhm Dima, I think he is right, maybe we should go, but uhm well…” Jasper gave him a smile and then turned his face to me, now his eyes holding again that irritating determination that I wished so much to wipe away. “But uhm..not before you admit it.”

“Baby, let it go..”

“No, not letting it go.”

“I suggest you to listen to that idiot and get the hell out of here. I cannot stand your presence, you dangerously annoy me.” Oleg viciously strengthened the grip on me and I had to clench my teeth to not give him the satisfaction of cringing.

“Not scared of you anymore.” The little thing had the guts to say. The bastard here smirked at me and Dima snapped his head at his pet in complete shock.

“Hey Jas..” The midget laced his hand with my brother’s and took a step to me, by now getting about to explode.

“Say it.” He insisted.

“I have nothing to say, aside mind your business.” I hissed back.

“Boy, you’re so stubborn, just admit it.”

“Nothing to admit.” Now my blood was boiling and I fought the bastard’s grip that tightened even more. “Let go of me, you f*cking bastard.” He stared at me with impassive cold eyes. And that almost had me snap.

“Say it.”

“Jasper kitty, let’s go, he has nothing to say. He obviously doesn’t miss us. C’mon, we can get breakfast somewhere else.”

“No Dima, I know what I saw and I want him to admit it.” He stubbornly said.

Where the hell he found such strength and determination? He wasn’t like that the first time we met; he was a little pathetic shivering thing. And there he was, standing right in front of me with my moronic brother in his hands. Dima stood behind him in a sort of protective stance, as if worried I would jump and beat the crap out of his precious pet. At the same time he stared at him with adoring eyes and that let me tell you, had me sinking down deep. I had no idea what I felt for my brother, because I bottled up everything and let it rot with me and my soul, but it wasn’t anyway easy to see the person you used to love the most staring at someone with such eyes.

“Listen, Jasper. That’s your name, right? Pack your sh!t and get out of here. I have nothing to say to you.” I warned him.

“Boy, just say it.”

“Say what?” I groaned exasperated and about to snap big hell time.

“You know what.”

“You’re getting on my nerves and very damn much.” I growled.

“Uhm well, you too.” I stared at him with wide eyes and felt my fists clenching. God, I wished to smack his puppy-like face so much it hurt.

“What? You are about to..”

“Anatoly.” Dima warned me.

“What do you want dofus? Mind your man; he’s the one getting on my nerves.”

“And you’re the prick one, as always. You just like to act in that moronic way going around with that I-am-a-gang-member-badass attitude and it pisses me off so much you have no idea. Your friends got even punched by me and Sasha.” He snorted and I went to get at him, but Oleg almost snapped my shoulder. “Let’s go Jasper, I am tired of this and my head has already exploded, need something to eat and change air.”

“No, I want you to admit it.”

“Shut up and leave.”

“No, admit it.”

“Shut the f*ck up.”

“Say it, you silly dofus.”

“Silly what? Go away.” I went to turn around, but Oleg held me still in place and I wished so much to smack his face, too, but knew it was out of my league. “You disgust me.”

“And you are getting me very mad..” I sneered, was that suppose to scare me? “Say it.”

“Say what, chipmunk?” Dima pulled Jasper back and took a step to me, but Oleg stopped him. What he had this bastard in mind?”

“That you miss your family and that you miss Dima, say it.”

“Nothing to say, not your business.

“So you miss him.”

“You’re digging your grave..”

“Admit it.”

“Mind your business.”

“They are my business, admit it.”

“Shut up.”

“No, admit it.”

“Shut up.”

“Admit it..”

“You..”

“Oh boy, just admit it!” He said exasperated.

“I’ll never admit I miss that dofus over there. Never, you listen to me?”

Dima widened his eyes and that little annoying and irritating thing over there smiled triumphal.

And I froze on the spot.

Damn it.

How did that happen?

“So you actually miss us?” Dima asked while pulling his precious annoying chipmunk in his arms.

God, yes I missed you. Missed you like the air.

But wasn’t going to tell him.

“Leave me alone, Dima. Now it’s my head splitting in two.” I turned my back at them and this time the bastard there let me walk away.

I heard them saying something, but didn’t get the words and right when I was about to walk to reach the door of the basement, ready to take my bike and disappear for the rest of the day, a strong and rather painful grip stopped me.

“Let me go, I have had enough for today and I sure did not ask you for anything.” I hissed.

In all answer he slammed me facing the door and I hated myself for grunting in pain; he twisted my arm on my back and then felt his entire body looming on me.

The crazy thing was … my body found this hot and I cursed in my head at my weak and disgusting self for letting such a thing have an effect on me. Was I really sick and had honest suicidal tendencies? Because getting now turned on by this huge and scary bastard sure called for a ticket to painful hell.

“You heard enough in that room, Anatoly.” He spoke with his usual firm and controlled voice, a rough and commanding tone making it more severe.

“You were there watching?” I gasped out under his weight. His body was so damn… f*ck, no. Shut it.

“Grow up and do it quickly. Now you have only two choices. You move on and confront your problem and beg your family for forgiveness, or you pack your things and move out. You cannot go on any longer with this ridiculous act. I understood what is eating you inside, but now it is time to face it like a real man.”

I froze there and dared not to breathe.

“What do you mean you know what’s eating me inside?”

He couldn’t have guessed…no…please no…

“Exactly what I said.” Oleg moved away and turned me around always in that oh-so-delicate way, slamming me again against the door. “I am not entitled to judge, as a matter of fact, nobody is. But you have two choices now. Am I understood?” I simply nodded still shocked. “Do not make such a shocked face, Anatoly. I have been working for your family for more than six years, thus I know you all very well. I immensely respect your father and your mother, and your immature behavior has caused too much grief. You have to grow up; I cannot babysit you all the time.”

I felt sudden rage boil in my blood. Who the hell he thought he was? Nobody asked for his help. I never wanted him to stick to me and be a pain in the ass. I could not stand him.

“Nobody asked for your help.” I hissed, trying to shove him away, but he just laughed drily.

“You are such an immature child, Anatoly. You ask for help every single time you yell you do not need any.” I gulped down at the intensity of his eyes and when again I felt something stirring in me at his proximity, I jerked him away and somehow managed in that.

“Shut up.” I snarled, more to my body than to him.

This gotta be a joke. A very bad joke.

He sighed and for a moment I expected him to tug me on the ground, but he just sighed.

“Go and shower and mind not to try to escape, because my patience for today is about to wear off.” Oleg ordered and I simply stared at him without moving. “You heard what I said, move now.”

“And why should I even listen to you?” I hissed,