The title font looks good and stands out well against the black sky. However, the subtitle is illegible, too widely spaced and not really necessary (check previous reviews to see where we stand about announcing a series in book 1). Likewise, the author's name (or is it a Wattpad username?) in blue/black pops out well on the white snow (we guess it's snow anyway).

On another hand, we find the illustration quite dull. It kinda works, thanks to the great contrast, the trees matching the title and the potential spooky vibe, but it's not really interesting. We're not sure about the blue flames. They're hard to figure out and are muddying the crips outlines.

Furthermore, the title suggests some type of mythology and the image didn't reflect that. Some more Greek myth inspired iconography would be much more interesting and pose a lot of design potential for the cover.

Verdict: Has potential, but could be more catchy.

Once again, there is no consensus about the title. Fay finds it interesting, because it could mean anything and because it hints strongly at Greek mythology. Sal finds it rather dull, neither particularly catchy nor off putting. Oliver stands in the middle, liking the wide potential of its meaning, but doubting its attraction power.

However, we all agree on our fear of a Percy Jackson rip off.

The opening line has potential, but needs to be tightened for impact: 'coincidentally' is an unnecessary adverb that doesn't add anything here. 'Meets and saves' is heavy as the 'meet' part is rather unimportant ('saves' implies they did meet). 'Known and unknown' doesn't add much, it is very vague and means little to potential readers. For them, and for Seth, all of his powers are unknown at this point.

Maybe you could elaborate on how Seth saved Libra, or better yet, what was the god up against (no need to go too deep in details, just hint things to make readers want to know even more).

The next line is a bit confusing. What is to be inferred from 'duty to maintain the balance between the restoration and destruction of the world'? Since this is a blurb and simply meant to hook us without necessarily explaining the whole plot, perhaps simplify this so we know Seth has to protect a balance and keep the world safe without going into details about how just yet. Again, in the next line, 'ever since it reset' doesn't mean much without context and is a bit confusing.

However, 'the scales have already tipped in favor of chaos' is a great line.

The first line of the third paragraph is rather clunky. 'Accompanied by companions' is heavy and redundant. 'Meet' should be 'met' or 'meets' (watch out for your tense usage). You could probably cut 'whom' entirely for flow's sake. In fact, you could cut the mention of the companions altogether, because as is, without context and/or elaboration, it doesn't have much significance. Likewise, what operation? This feels a bit too vague as we can't understand the stake or implications.

'The world will be destroyed from its heart in the Titan Woods' is dramatic, but confusing. We haven't really been introduced to the Titan Woods or to any sort of world or clear conflict, so the meaning (and with it, impact) is lost. Furthermore, the sentence, written in future tense, is definitive, and reads like a spoiler rather than a possibility.

The final line doesn't carry much punch due to the phrasing. Something snappier than 'figure out exactly what his newfound power is' is needed to resonate with readers. Furthermore, 'he' is too far away from 'Seth' to be a smooth use of the pronoun.

Verdict: Overall, the blurb piqued our interest, but it needs to be punchier, tighter. We could figure out some kind of conflict and a ticking clock element, but as is, the blurb is too vague to be really enticing. Either clear the out-of-context things that could cause confusion, or build more context for them. Focus on more powerful, direct wording and define a clear conflict for your MC.

Extras

Warns about profanity, thanks the designer, etc...

Skippable.

~

Hook

The mention of a 'part 1' for a prologue raises a few potential red flags. Some readers can't stand prologues, so seeing one long enough to be cut in two parts might deter them. Even when readers don't mind prologues (we have no issue with them), the question of balance remains. If none of your story chapters are long enough to be cut (because of Wattpad standards), why is the prologue so long?

The first paragraph starts out well, but defeats itself with unnecessary details. It presents too many ideas too soon and too cramped together, when the story hasn't begun yet. However, despite all these details, many ideas put forth aren't elaborated enough to immerse the reader. Granted, you can't expose everything in length either--it would be heavy and boring. But at this point we don't know what the Titan Woods are, where the heart of the world is, who the god Libra is and why he runs.

The opening line is a bit long to have as much impact as it could. The first part of the sentence is out of PoV. It seems that the chapter is Libra's PoV, so there is no reason to drop this much exposition, clearly only meant for readers. Libra is in a hurry. He wouldn't stop too ponder about the Titan Woods or its location.

Additionally, why write 'erratic gasps and pants'? This reads heavy, and has logical inconsistencies. Why is Libra panting and gasping already? If he only just 'took off running', he has no rhythm yet and no reason to be out of breath. If this is meant to indicate he's old and out of shape, perhaps save the info for later to keep the power of your opening hook. However, this raises another question: if Libra is a god, why is he huffing and puffing like an out of shape human? This seems contradictory without context, and killed off a good amount of mystical vibes.

Sal: "The first thing that came to mind when I read the opening sentence was that god Libra should invest in a gym membership..."

In the second paragraph, 'He was too weak [...] darkness of night' is a great line, but the last part lessens its impact. The construction of 'without daring [...] slow him down' is a bit clunky and makes the sentence heavy. Start a new sentence to express the same thing, taking the opportunity to get inside of Libra's head instead of describing his feeling from outside, coldly.

Overall, action and running/being chased is a good start, but muddying the water with superfluous details dilutes the impact and robs the scene of its tension. The story began well, then tripped itself up with overdramatization and redundancy, which took the tension out of the scene. Snappy sentences, deeper character immersion reflecting higher stakes, and an MC who perhaps doesn't seem quite so lame (unless that latter impression is intentional) may help to increase your 'hook' factor.

Bottom line: you don't want readers pausing to wonder why Libra doesn't care about crunchy leaves when they should be swept up in his pulse-pounding flight for safety.

~

PROLOGUE PART 1

Grammar and Syntax

'He cursed' doesn't work as a thought tag, especially when Libra is not actually cursing. In fact, 'he cursed' shouldn't be used at all as a tag, because if your character actually curses, there is no need to state the obvious using the tag. In any case, thought tags are rarely needed, even less so than dialogue tags.

'unexpectedly/expected' so close together echo each other. Watch out for that, as unintended repetition can disrupt the rhythm of your sentence.

'his captor' reads as if it means someone other than 'the woman'. The change of pronoun is rather confusing here. Furthermore, 'captor' seems to be misused as Libra is not captive. And if he was before, the term isn't enough to make the situation clear.

We noted a pervasive issue with too many adverbs, which resulted in overtelling. Additionally, as noted in following sections, there is a lot of unnecessary, inconsistent or redundant information that should be trimmed for clarity and flow. Careful rereading (perhaps by a beta reader) of a text is often needed to spot and correct this type of heaviness.

~

Filters

'...he felt like a coward...': 'to feel' is a filter verb. These are often unneeded, especially in limited PoV. It weighs down a text and often doesn't add anything.

'Anxious, he...': again, this sort of 'tell' for emotions is distancing and prevents readers from really investing in the MC early on, especially in a high-adrenaline situation. Opt instead for more intimate, visceral sensory descriptions and action from your MC to draw us in.

~

Stating the obvious

'Immediately'-- introducing things with unnecessary adverbs is superfluous.

It isn't necessary to say Libra's female pursuer's voice is 'not losing in volume'. Simply say she shouted, or something similar. Furthermore, 'losing in volume' isn't grammatically correct.

'...blood trickled messily...'-- again, adverbs aren't necessary a lot of the time.

'Perhaps from shouting earlier...' this isn't necessary. Libra has been running, shouting, stressed. Lots of reasons for a dry throat. Just say his throat is dry.

'...without interrupting her, he let the woman prattle on...' is redundant--if he lies there and lets her talk, of course he's not interrupting her.

'Lunging herself'--just say lunging. No need for two words where one will suffice.

'Irene glared at him, blasting a deafening squawk that consisted of nothing but a simple 'ah' vowel': This line is just too much. Simply say she squawked loudly, or something simple like that. Furthermore 'ah' is not vowel per se.

Issues like those pointed out above pop up repeatedly within the text. Try not to overstate things. Once you've established something, move on and build upon it. Cut unnecessary, heavy details and streamline your prose. Keep your pacing and flow always in mind. Words should stream effortlessly through a reader's mind and trigger their emotions, imagination, and so on. That's why flow is so important. Disrupt the narrative flow, you disrupt the reader experience like a faulty electricity connection making the lights flicker. It's distracting and harms immersion.

~

PoV issues

The whole chapter seems to be written from Libra's PoV. Such limited third style works like first person: everything described must come directly from the character's perspective, experience, past or feelings. Throughout the chapter, we noticed many out of PoV sentences. Here are some examples:

If Libra 'couldn't bother to appreciate' the sound of the crunched leaves, for whom is it satisfying? Why mention the satisfyingly crunchy leaves at all? This doesn't add anything, is out of PoV and slows the pace.

There is no reason to describe Libra's eye color from his PoV in this context. This information is only for the reader's sake, hence misplaced. Additionally, 'Through his brown eyes, he scanned...' is not only a heavy and unnatural phrasing, but why 'through'?

'He might have looked like a forty-year old man': again, there is no reason to drop that info from Libra's PoV. The physical description has no connection with the amount of wisdom Libra has, nor with his current activity. What do wisdom and foolishness have to do with being chased or not?

Oliver: "Also, I'm not tens of centuries old, but I tend to believe that foolishness comes from youth and inexperience. The older you get, the more you know, the less you're a fool."

'...in an intoxicated bloodlust...' is out of Libra's PoV. Let us infer what the harpy means by clenching her fists, no need to spell it out.

'...thrusting her hand out...': if the woman is behind Libra, he can't see that so you can't describe it.

'His captor [...] like a trophy...' doesn't read like something Libra would describe from his own PoV.

~

Character Descriptions

More description of Irene should come earlier, before or while she speaks. The visuals of her half-woman, half-bird body would work better if seeded through actions as the scene unfolds, instead of just dropped on us in one chunk. It's too long in one blow, like a pause in the action to detail every aspect of her anatomy.

There were some inconsistencies in Irene's physical descriptions, such as the confusing use of both talons/claws and hands/fingers. Why say 'her hand' then 'her claws'? It's one or the other, unless you just mean she has really long fingernails, in which case it created some confusing imagery. And then again, claws/fingers intermixed. Is she or is she not a monster with claws?

Later, it becomes evident that Irene is in fact a monster with claws--but this characteristic should not have been so unclear to begin with.

Likewise, the sudden revelation that she has a beak was jarring, and should have been mentioned earlier. As the prologue goes on, the title 'woman' seems to fit Irene less and less, making it difficult to clearly picture her. Since she's a mythical hybrid character and not a normal humanoid, describing her properly is doubly important as readers have no idea what she may look like.

There was another issue with the appearance of Irene: In the beginning, it is stated that Libra created the beings who are chasing him, so we assumed that he already knew what Irene looked like, and thus what a harpy was. For instance, he should know already about the poison from her claws. Later however, it seems Libra doesn't know anything at all about harpies, or Irene. This led to a lot of misconceptions and confusion about their relationship and the PoV relevance of Irene's descriptions. Something needs to be tightened to avoid this.

As for Tan, the description, '...his arms were the size of a few logs bound together...' seems cartoonish, impractical and biologically impossible.

~

Inconsistencies, weirdness and plot holes

'...he scanned the tall trees before him as he clenched onto his soft white robe...': How is he 'clenching' it exactly? This reads strangely without mentioning his hands. And if he's running, why clench the robe at all? Is it falling off? Even if context could help, there is no explanation for Libra to clench onto his robe. Furthermore, this sentence could have been a great place to elaborate on his outfit from his PoV. Also, he just started running--where did all the dirt and sweat come from so fast? Was he already running for some time before he took off again?

'Five hundred years before he could manifest in this empty world' is a bit confusing and vague. It would need some elaboration for the events hinted to make sense, and thus carry any impact for readers. Furthermore, why does Libra say the world is empty?

'Even so' isn't introducing a clear contradiction with what precedes. If you meant that Libra just reappeared in the world after five hundred years, there is no clear reason for him to be weak. As far as we know, he could have manifested again with an ultimate power. Something needs to be clarified to flow smoothly and make some kind of immediate sense in the reader's' mind.

'...he bit his lip and sprinted aimlessly': what connection is there between lip biting and sprinting? Additionally, while not exactly wrong per se, the combo of sprinting and aimlessly don't sit well. Sprinting is sharp, direct, quick--usually in a very specific straight line. It's not really directionless. Aimless implies meandering, muddled action. They just don't marry well.

The idea that, while running for his life, gasping and wheezing, Libra could hear anything his pursuers say isn't credible. If Libra can hear growled speech from behind him in this situation, that either means he has superpowered hearing or is close to the speaker--both of which seem unlikely. Make clearer that the pursuers are shouting to each other. You could even take the opportunity to elaborate on the origin of the sound (one voice could come from behind him when the other could be closer on the left, for example). Additionally, the scenery is unclear. We don't know if Libra is hidden by trees and underbrush or is out in the open, so now we're left to wonder if the speakers can see him and if not, why not. This needs clarification.

How can the lightning 'flash constantly'? This doesn't make sense. And if it's flashing 'constantly', how come Libra only spots his