The bright blue certainly pops and is eye catching for Wattpad, but otherwise, the cover lacks a professional feel and is rather bland. The imagery tells us nothing except that the story will likely feature a young, black, and female MC.

The imagery isn't cohesive with the title, as it reminds us of California boho and beaches--not a very 'stormy' aesthetic. The layout and lettering is cramped and uninspired. Apart from the title, nothing is readable. Zooming in for a closer look à la CSI, we deciphered the author's name, which is, once again, a Wattpad username. Please refer to the previous reviews to know where we stand about that.

Verdict: Eye-catching but ultimately unconvincing

It piqued our curiosity and conjures interesting imagery.

Verdict: Not bad

"You don't fall in love with a hurricane and expect to keep her in a box.

You fell for her winds, let her be the force she was born to be."

J.iron word.

When Sam Laurent moves back to her old hometown determined to keep her head down, paint, and more importantly, pass through high school unnoticed, fate seems to have other things in mind.

But, with old and new friends and enemies put into the mix of a complicated recipe, it seems a bit more difficult than ever to be what she deemed normal.

And when a boy Bryan Cassano is determined to take off her mask in order to bring out her old inner self that she had buried within, it raises the question,

Are her secrets worth the price?

***

"Do you know what happens when you get too close to a storm?" I began giving my painting the finishing touch.

He remained silent in reply.

"Let me tell you Casanno. You get struck into ashes by lightning."

I get to my feet looking down upon the canvas in the light pouring in through the window.

"You're telling me to stay away," he said lowly as my eyes turned to him seeing his half-done work brush still mid-air with red paint hanging at the tip of the tool.

"As far away as you can."

***

Usually, it's the boy who has a dark perception of life and the girl who is the ray of sunshine that sees the positive side of everything.

Here, it's a topsy-turvy altogether.

NOTE: This book has some violence and strong language content. I avoid sex scenes as much as possible. PTSD, suicide, deep and serious topics are discussed. Read at your own risk.

Book one in the Dreams Of The Inspired series.

Highest ranking:

#5 in darkpast.

#thelitawards

______

The quoted text is interesting, however 1) the author's name should be capitalized (no matter what Insta says), and 2) as these are not your words, the quote would be better inside the actual book. Quoting another author's words at the start of your blurb feels like using another's work to sell your own. Readers may end up more interested in picking up something J. Iron Word wrote rather than continuing with your book. It can backfire when you try to catch a flicker of someone else's limelight.

The blurb itself is very vague and fails to present proper stakes, background or clear conflict. For instance: "keep her head down [...] unnoticed [...] other things in mind [...] a complicated recipe [...] what she deemed normal [...] her old inner self [...] her secret [...] the price". All of these very general terms raise questions instead of piquing the curiosity (which is very different).

Beginning the second paragraph with 'But' doesn't make sense following what precedes. There are already two elements in opposition in the first paragraph (even if built in a clunky way), so "but" reads like it contradicts this first opposition (when second paragraph really is an elaboration on 'fate's' agenda).

"the mix of a complicated recipe [...] more difficult than ever to be what she deemed normal [...] determined to take off her mask in order to bring out her old inner self that she had buried within, it raises the question" all these phrasings are very heavily worded. Every sentence in the blurb is too long and dense, diluting what is in fact a very simple (and somewhat cliche) premise: Girl returns to her hometown, determined to get through school without drawing attention. Girl meets boy, boy wants to help her in some way or another, gets rejected, and so on. This might be a total misperception and the book could turn out to be crazily original, but that's the initial impression. The whole blurb could be summarized with "random highschool girl has a secret". More is needed to create a decent 'hook'.

¤ About the out-of-context-excerpt from the story:

     - As usual, it doesn't really add anything.

     - Lightening cooks you from the inside out, boils your innards, etc. but it doesn't turn you to ash.

     - A character's name is spelled wrong.

     - he said lowly'  doesn't make sense. You can speak in a low voice, but you can't speak lowly, unless perhaps you are speaking ill of someone. The word doesn't apply to tone of voice.

     - Commas are needed in several places.

¤ About the author's note:

     - Swapping genders alone does not make the story original. This trope applies to both genders.

     - 'I avoid sex scenes as much as possible': this is rather vague for a disclaimer. Is there sex or not? People who don't mind sex won't care about this disclaimer, people that don't want to read anything related to sex will want to know for sure.

Verdict: Even without the unnecessary extras, the blurb is too long and too heavy. It didn't present an enticing conflict, clear stakes, or interesting storyline. Overall, it's vague and unconvincing.

Fay: Oy vey, y'all using Latin now? It isn't helping these chapters look any less superfluous...

Primum:

Telling readers what they will feel while reading your novel isn't a good idea. It's not only cocky, but it also interferes with their own perceptions and risks creating a conscious barrier between them and the emotions you hope to evoke. Such assertions from an author can result in readers seeing faults in a story that wouldn't have stood out as boldly if they had gone in without preconceived notions and artificially inflated expectations.

Again, it's your book, so you should know if there will be sex or not. And furthermore, if you don't know what to write about yourself, etc. then why mention it at all?

Epigrammate:

Well... okay then.

Cast:

Oliver: I simply loathe casts. You are the writer, the characters are yours and yours only, so why make them celebrities doppelgangers. And even if you want them to be, don't tell anyone--just describe their features in your story, with words, like a writer. Saying "this character is 'played' by this celebrity" is not only stupid, it's lazy. It can lead to missing descriptions (why bother describing something when you offered a picture). And worse than that, it kills any possibility for readers to build their own mental image of the characters based on descriptions. Furthermore, if you want to write about average teenagers, don't make them look like photoshopped top models.

Fay: *Hides her character aesthetic moodboards from Oliver*

The two opening lines feels redundant. The second one seems more interesting, but both are vague. What, exactly, is gone?

Oliver: I find this kind of cheap "suspense" useless. Even if readers eventually figure what is gone, by the time it's revealed in the story, they probably wouldn't remember this line. Only rereading the story from the beginning would allow them to get the wink from the author. For me, to reread a novel is rare and often implies the author to be Terry Pratchett.

The scene begins with the MC struggling underwater, which would have been a great opening with high stakes tension if it were better written. However, from the very first paragraph, confusion and heavy wording drags the scene down much like the MC was sucked under those roiling waves.

The first paragraph is clunky and confusing. 'Above the water...' read like the wood is hovering inches above the sea. Do you mean floating on the water? The use of 'all around me' then 'above the water' also makes it difficult to discern if the MC is under water, with the debris floating above, or treading water with the debris floating beside her. Since it is later established that she is, in fact, underwater, how can debris that is floating on the surface "lay all around her"?

'Seemed to cling to me like a second skin...' doesn't really work. Is it clinging or not? The narrator should know. However, since she's completely submerged in water, 'clinging' is the wrong word.

This much confusion over basic details in an opening scene, opening lines no less, isn't something that will help readers become immersed in the story.

STRIKE 1

Missing comma after "breaths", and then after "and on", "body", and "drop".

"Drumming/drum" is repetitive, and "...cacophony of noise..." is redundant.

How can the rain drum on her body if she's still submerged? And lacerating might be a big extreme. This isn't acid rain (we hope...). And how are lacerations like a drum concert anyway?

'Fend myself off'--this reads as if the MC is attacking herself. And is she swinging her arms or not? The '...as I tried...' feels misplaced. And why swing her arms to fight off the rain (as if it were bees or mosquitoes) when she's trying to swim? She's already wet through, drowning in a storm-tossed sea--rain seems to be the least of her concerns at this point. There might be danger from waves knocking her over, the current dragging her under, or even that debris you mentioned injuring her--but not rain. And the rain is not 'impending', it is already here.

'The moon was gleaming with moonlight...' is a redundant description, as is '...the sky surrounding was black as night...'. If she can see the moon, it's night, which makes the night black as night with a moon gleaming with moonshine. This is what redundancy looks like. Additionally, if it's raining, how can the moon be visible? If the rain is pelting the MC as hard as it seems to be, then the sky is a roiling mess of clouds. Unclear scenery (to say the least).

Describing the seas as '...taken over by nature...' reads oddly when the sea is basically 'nature' as well. Calm or stormy, it is one of the most powerful natural forces on earth. Also, '...torrent of chaos...' implies flowing, rushing--like a river, or even rain. The ocean is a body of water, and even when disturbed by a violent storm, is not really a torrent.

Missing comma after 'urgency'--and the word is unnecessary in any case. The MC is obviously feeling a degree of urgency at this point. Now, is the current taking her back UNDER? Because she's still in the water, how can it take her back 'in' ? Are her screams of terror being 'muffled by the waters' as in she's under the surface again (because if so, she just swallowed a lot of water) or is this meant as in the noisy storm is drowning her out? Also '...screams of terror...'--again, we know she's terrified, no need to state it.

Her arms are reaching? For what? How can she be using her arms so much while trying to swim? Is she or is she not under the water again? Lots of confused action here and it is difficult to visualize or track the scene. "...to struggle to escape..." is heavy. '...watery prison, determined to imprison me..." is a redundant description, much like night being black as night, etc. This is a prime example where a "less is more" approach would work so much better. Also, this sentence almost reads as if she's trying to imprison herself.

'Than ever' is missing 'more' after 'was'. 'Than ever' cannot be used on its own.

She's gasping for air, so not underwater now? In any case, '...gasped for air that I craved...' is redundant and unnecessary, as is '...every cell in my body alert and active...'--it is assumed (hoped?) that if the MC is drowning, she's alert and active. 

There are gaps in the descriptions of this chapter, missing vital information like action flow and scenery, yet obvious things are continuously overstated.

STRIKE 2

'Where is she' should be unitalicized to reflect the inner thought or else it's a tense issue. Also, where is who? The main point of first person PoV is to keep the reader attuned with the character. Riddles don't work.

'Suddenly' is used twice in too short a time.  

'As I watched mesmerized': moments ago the MC is thrashing in a storm-tossed ocean, now she's staring at the sky? 

Thunder is booming yet 'begging to be heard'--unnecessary, hence heavy. The thunder doesn't care if it's heard.

She's screaming in terror again. 'Terror' is already evident, no need to state the obvious repeatedly. 

'Ducking to the side' reads unnatural when the MC is swimming. 

As some commas are missing, it reads like her heart is shaking and afraid. 

'As I...' is used twice. 'I screamed [...] on the inside' is too long and without pause. Commas are needed, however this whole sentence should be three at least.

'Where is she [...] be okay'--same comment about unitalicizing inner thoughts.

'Screamed in desperation'--again, she's obviously desperate, screaming is enough. And why so much screaming when a storm is drowning her out, she's (apparently) far out in the ocean and should be preserving her energy/air for swimming? Panic could account for this, but considering the circumstances, it would still be an effort on her part to keep up such a vocal display.

What are these 'somethings' sinking 'at' her stomach and 'crawling up her throat, burning from the inside'? Vomit? In first person, where we're sharing the head of the MC, it's often unwise to leave readers guessing about such details for the sake of drama.

'...a figure's hand...' is unnecessarily heavy when 'a hand' would do. It's not 'a figure' if all you can see is the hand. 

'Breathing out in relief, I took a deep breath' are grammatically happening at the same time, which is impossible. And it feels unrealistic for the MC to smile at this point, no matter how relieved she is. She is being tossed around a stormy sea, half drowned, mad with terror. She wouldn't smile.