Chapter 19...

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Remember I am posting three chapters a day now. The last chapter was Chapter 16 so go back there and read before this one! If not you will be lost!! (Also the chapters are getting longer and longer :D)

Olivia

I stared out the window watching as the snow fell down in flurries. The people at the front desk were right in saying the storm had gotten bad. I could barely make out the cars below in the parking lot. The snow growing by the minute out in the open field our window looked out at.

Behind me the sound of the shower running reminded me Logan was in there. Naked. Soapy. I shook my head at the dirty images running through my mind. Now was not the time to be thinking those things. Although it was almost impossible not to with him being so close and naked.

When Logan came back from getting our suitcase, he put his stuff aside and said he was going to take a shower. His coat was soaked from the snow and his nose was a little red but it was the look on his face that had me wondering if something was wrong.

Eating earlier he was acting weird. Giving our waiter the death glare every time he came by the table. He was acting like he was jealous but Logan being jealous was almost laughable. But then I thought about his reaction to me calling him 'bro'.

The way he pulled me to a stop, standing inches from me as he stared down into my eyes with those intense brown eyes. He didn't like me 'bro-ing' him and the tone he used made my toes curl in my shoes. Demanding yet soft.

It truly looked like he was going to kiss me. The way his tongue wetted his lips as he gazed at mine. My feet were frozen to the floor unable to do anything but wait to see if he would kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me. Wanted him to stop treating me like some little kid. But the damn hotel had to go and interrupt us. As soon as the person started speaking I could see the walls coming down. Could see Logan closing himself off again. The step back he took making my chest ache.

Wondering if Logan liked me was the last thing I should be thinking about right now. We were stuck here for the night with nothing to do. And who knows if we will be able to make it for Christmas eve tomorrow. Aside from the fact I want to see my family, I also want Logan to experience our Christmas.

The shower turned off making my back tense. Once he's out of the shower what do we do? Just sit here in silence? It was only a little after 2 in the afternoon so its not like we can go to bed. With a sigh I turned around to grab some more comfy clothes from my suitcase. Might as well get comfortable.

As I was rifling through my clothes for the PJ's I packed the bathroom door opened.

"Is it..." I went to ask looking up only to pause. My eyes widened, my mouth went dry, and I'm pretty sure my mouth was hanging open. Standing in front of me was a shirtless Logan and a pair of grey sweatpants. GREY SWEATPANTS.

Holy mother of abs.

Is that an 8-pack? My eyes immediately went to the tattoos one covered one of his pecks. It looked like some kind of eagle. It had so much detail I wanted to get closer for a better look but I physically held myself back.

I looked at the others littering his skin. A couple on his ribs, one on his bicep, one looked like it was wrapping around from his back. Some down his arm. Somehow he was even sexier with the tattoos.

My eyes traveled up from his muscular chest to find him rubbing his towel through his wet hair. The action just showed off his biceps and I swear his abs became even more prominent. Logan shook his head, his dark hair sticking to his forehead. I liked his hair longer. When I first met him years ago he was fresh out of the military with a buzz cut. This suited him better.

I didn't realize his mouth was moving and I wasn't hearing a single word he said. My brain was too occupied with staring at him to hear anything.

"Hmm?" I finally made myself look at his face.

"You can get in." Right the shower. That's what I was going to do.

"Oh yeah. Shower. Get clean. Woo." The words that left my mouth just furthering embarrassing myself. Logan definitely noticed me checking him out.

Needing to distance myself from Logan and his half naked body I clenched my clothes in tight fists and quickly ran to the bathroom. And I mean ran like a total idiot.

I slammed the bathroom door closed, leaning back against it with a groan. I did not seriously just eye fuck him. Oh you did Liv. You eye fucked him real good.

It's not like I haven't seen shirtless guys before. I've seen plenty from school and ex boyfriends but none of them even compared to Logan. Logan didn't have that over worked out body that was packed with muscle. No, he was lean and fit. Every muscle on that body earned from the military.

Wide shoulders, narrow waist, a V-line above his sweatpants, a little bit of chest hair showing that he was indeed a man and not a boy. Logan fit his age of 33 so well. My plan of not thinking about Logan was null and void now. Not after getting that eye full. I'll be dreaming of that view tonight that's for sure.

Needing to cool off I quickly stripped out of my clothes and stepped into the shower. Don't think of Logan. Don't think about about him standing outside that door while you're in here naked. Don't think of him opening that door and getting in this shower with you. His hands trailing down your wet body, in-between your legs.

My hand had a mind of its own as it traced the imaginary path of Logan's hand. A gasp leaving my mouth when I touched my core, legs spreading.

This is so wrong. I can't be in here imaging Logan touching me when he's just outside. No this is wrong. Then why does it feel so good? No matter how many excuses my brain tried to come up with nothing was stopping me as I touched myself in the shower thinking of Logan.

I had to bite my bottom lip to keep from moaning out loud as I came on my own fingers, wishing it was someone else's. My entire body was still flushed when I got out of the shower a few minutes later.

Looking in the mirror I tried to get the glazed look out of my eye. Did not need to go out there and have Logan see. Especially since I've taken a thirty minute shower.

Leaving my hair up in its messy bun I pulled on my oversized shirt that was my brothers and slipped on a pair of fuzzy bottoms, along with fuzzy socks. Not the sexiest outfit but it was cozy. Staring at my reflection I noticed my nipples were poking through my shirt. I was half tempted to put my bra back on but the thought of Logan seeing made that thought disappear as quick as it came. He teased me with his naked chest, I can tease him with this. A little payback.

Trying to hold onto that confidence I grabbed my clothes and stepped out of the bathroom. As soon as I stepped out my eyes immediately sought him out like a magnet. It was like no matter where he was in the room my eyes would look for him. I found him sitting in one of the chairs by the window.

Our eyes instantly clashed. I refused to cross my arms and cover my chest, especially when his eyes raked up and down my body. He lingered at my chest and I knew fully well what he was seeing. I watched as his hands turned to fists on his legs and his jaw clenched.

I let him get his fill before turning to my suitcase to put my clothes away. The heat of his stare was burning through my clothes making my skin warm. Get a grip on yourself Liv. Don't let him affect you.

I took my time putting my things away and moving my suitcase down to the floor. It was quiet, the TV softly playing in the background. The awkward silence was growing. I thought we were past that with him working at the bakery the last few weeks but apparently being alone together in a room brought it all back.

Sitting on the bed I crossed my legs and looked back over at Logan. I was disappointed he put a shirt on but it definitely for the best. Not confident in my ability to keep my hands to myself if that was the case.

"So..." I trailed off not sure what to say.

"So?"

"What now?" At my question Logan rubbed his jaw and looked around the room.

"I have some cards if you want to play." I sat up at his words. He packed cards? That fact had me grinning.

"That could be fun."

* * * * * * * * * *

"Suck it!" I threw my cards on the bed with a wide grin, wiggling my hips.

"You're cheating."

"Nope. You just suck at playing cards."

"I always kick your brothers ass when we play."

"Yeah well my brother sucks too."

Logan shook his head as he grabbed the cards to shuffle them again. We've been sitting on the bed across from each other playing cards for the last half hour. When Logan suggested we play he clearly didn't know I was good at cards.

"How did you learn to play this anyways?" Logan asked as he dealt the cards out.

"School. We use to have a weekly poker night on my floor." I replied with a shrug.

"Weekly poker night....what kind of school did you go to?" The bewildered tone had me laughing. "Does you brother know about this?"

"Nope." I smirked grabbing my cards. "What he doesn't know won't kill him." There are plenty of things I've done that my brother will never know about. Especially with how over protective he is. I'm not the young innocent 17 year old my older brother still thinks I am.

At my words Logan gripped his cards, his eyes bouncing back and forth between my eyes and lips. Unconsciously I licked my bottom lip which drew his attention even more. The way his eyes darkened and his jaw clenched had me shifting on the bed. The pressure between my legs growing.

"Knox doesn't need to know everything about what I do with my life." The words left my mouth so softly it was almost a whisper.

It was unfair how much I wanted Logan. Wanting someone you can't have is the worst kind of torture. Here he is sitting directly across from me, laying back against the bed like a model. All I can do is look but not touch. It doesn't help when he looks at me like that. Like he could want me as much as I do him.

Even if Logan wanted me he wouldn't act on it. He's too damn noble to so much as touch me. He's much like my brother in the sense that I will always be a little kid in his eyes.

What happened the night three years ago came to mind. The night he outright rejected me and broke my heart. The reminder hitting me directly in the chest. Clearing my throat I looked down at my cards.

"You can go first." I hated how small my voice sounded. While I hated remembering that night it was smart too. It reminded me that Logan isn't mine and never would be. A hurtful reminder but a much needed one.

"Olivia." He started to say but I shook my head. Just like that the mood changed in the room. How quick we can go from teasing to this. Of course its your fault Liv. Letting your feelings get in the way, yet again.

"What just happened?"

"Nothing." If I were to say anything it would just further ruin the night.

"You can lie to everyone else but not me." The bed below my shifted as Logan sat up. His eyes burning into the side of my face. "Olivia, look at me." I was helpless to his command as my head lifted and met his gaze.

"Talk to me."

The words bubbled to the surface as I stared back at him. I had a feeling this moment would come one day, especially after being around each other so much the last few weeks. The need for an answer growing by the second.

"Why?" The look on Logan's face making me continue. "That night three years ago. I kissed you and you acted like I branded you. Then three days later you left without a word."

The words poured out of me after years of holding them in.

"You acted like I was the last person on the planet you wanted to kiss. Then you left without a single word making me feel like you did to it to get away from me. You could have at least said goodbye."

The rejection hurt but him leaving right after was worse. Made me feel so unwanted.

"You could have just said I was repulsive." I didn't realize I was crying until one rolled down my cheek.

"You're not repulsive." I rolled my eyes at his words. Well he had a funny way of showing it. Fingers gripped my chin, gently but firmly turning my head to the side. "Don't roll your eyes at me."

Logan leaned forward, still holding onto my chin.

"I do not find you repulsive. You were drunk that night and unlike some men I don't take advantage of women when they've been drinking."

"I wasn't drunk." I yanked my chin out of his grasp and stood up off the bed. "Yes, I had been drinking but I was anything but drunk."

That night Jess and I went out to have a few drinks to celebrate me finally taking the plunge to open my own bakery. Alcohol tended to make me a bit more confident and somehow, not even sure who's idea it was, I ended up calling Logan. Of course I freaked out and instead of saying what I was going to I asked him to pick us up.

The entire time Jess and I waited for him she talked me into making my move. I had been lusting after my brothers best friend for years and was finally going to have my shot to do something about it.

It wasn't until he pulled up to our apartment and Jess got out that I started to second guess my decision. But when Logan looked over at me, staring at the way my dress hiked up my thighs, I did the stupidest thing ever; I leaned over and kissed him.

I thought he would kiss me back but when he sat there stiff as a board, my heart sunk in my chest. Logan pulled his head away and gently leaned backwards; away from me. I didn't need to look at his face to know what would be there. Regret. Disgust.

I waited a few seconds for him to do something but the moment he said my name I was out of the car. He said it with such regret that I couldn't sit there any longer. I hightailed it out of his car and into my apartment.

I didn't know he left until three days later when I went over to Knox and Aubrey's house. It was rejection in the highest form. I spent weeks crying about it and regretting ever making a move on him. The only reason he left was because of me.

I really didn't want to talk about this anymore. I know I brought it up but I wasn't ready to hear his excuses of why he rejected me. There was no point because nothing was going to come out of this conversation. Other than me being hurt all over again. That day was not one I wanted to recreate.

"Let's just forget it." I shook my head taking another step back from the bed. From Logan. "I'm going to go for a walk." I needed a moment away from him or I was going to say something I shouldn't.

I went over to where my shoes sat near the door only for a hand on my arm to stop me. I was whirled around, coming face to chest with Logan.

"You don't get to walk away right now." Logan glared down at me.

"You did it first." I countered, suddenly angry.

"I did it to protect you."

"Protect me from what?"

He was so close that our chest were touching. I had to tilt my head back to look up at him as he narrowed his eyes at me.

"I did what was best." The fire behind his eyes just fueled the fire inside mine. He was seriously standing here acting like what he did was for the best. Like he didn't rip out my heart and leave.

"Best for who?" I brought my hand up and poked his hard chest. "You did what was best for yourself, not me."

"Don't think for one second I did this because I wanted to." Logan's voice was hard. Like he was trying to hold himself back.

"Yeah, right." I scoffed tugging my arm out of his hold. "Just save the excuses, nothings going to change." It was time I accepted that nothing was ever going to happen between Logan and I. I let myself believe that maybe there could be with the last couple of weeks but I was just kidding myself.

"I'll be back soon. I just....I need space." Once I get back we can just ignore this whole conversation and be civil for Christmas. No doubt when we get back home Logan will high tail it out of town again.

Turning my back on him once more I headed for the door. Walking away from him didn't feel right and I hated the tightness in my chest. I unlocked the door and opened it an inch before it was slammed shut by a large hand. I didn't have time to protest before I was turned around and shoved back against the door.

My hands were grabbed and brought above my head. Logan's body crowded mine against the door, his breath fanning my face.

"You never turn your back on me Olivia." Logan brought his other hand down to grip my chin and tilt my head back. My face heated at how close he was. The look on his face made my heart race. His grip on me was tight keeping my firmly in place.

"I left because I had too. Because if I stayed for one more day I would have crossed a line that I promised not too. I would have taken you right then and there regardless of who was around." Logan's voice was low. His eyes burning.

"You have no idea what you do to me Olivia. Any ounce of control I have is gone when you are around. I wake up every damn day thinking of your face, of your laugh, of you. You drive me absolutely insane."

I could do nothing but stare back into those brown eyes that burned with such intensity. His grip on my chin loosened only for his thumb to come up and graze my bottom lip.

"For years I've tried to get you out of my head." He whispered. My lip tingled from his touch, my wrists still grasped in his hand. This position should make me feel scared at how easily Logan could over power me. How small he made me feel compared to him. But it did the exact opposite.

My body was on fire. The spot between my legs begging for attention. What I did in the shower earlier doing very little for the fire burning in my lower belly.

"Logan." His name left my lips in a breathy whisper. It didn't feel real. Him pressed against my front, whispering those things to me. Has he really wanted me for years?

"Tell me to stop." His head was getting lower and lower. The tip of his nose brushing mine. "Tell me to stop." He repeated.

I opened my mouth but no words came out. I've wanted Logan since I was 17 years old and now here he was directly in front of me. Lips barely grazing. All I had to do was lean forward and our lips would meet.

"I..."I trailed off as Logan dragged his lips across my cheek down to my jaw. The touch so soft if it wasn't for the scruff on his face I would think I was imagining it. My brain was shutting down, my body reacting to Logan's touch.

My back arched off the door, pressing my front of his. My hands ached to touch him but he kept his hold firm on my wrists. I was literally at his mercy as he ran his lips across my jaw and neck. His other hand slowly trailing down my collar bone, the back of his knuckles grazing the side of my breast.

"Liv." The sound of my name on his lips making my eyes shutter. How can I think when every touch was turning my brain to mush. Logan brought his mouth back up to mine, stopping inches from my lips.

"Use your words Olivia or I'll stop."

Him stopping was the last thing I wanted him to do. I knew the moment I said yes everything would change. I didn't know if this was just a one night thing or if Logan wanted something more but right here, right now I didn't care about any of that. Didn't care that I could possibly have my heart broken after this.

I was tired of not going after what I want. I want Logan regardless of the

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