11: Unsent Letter

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Tyrespiel's POV

It's dark in here...

I can't see a thing but I can feel it..

Am I even asleep, is this a dream, a memory? Am I experiencing sleep paralysis?

Hmm, cannot be, I do not even see shit.

I felt my body falling in an endless loops...

I'm scared...what's gonna happen...

Haaa..I've been falling nonstop, should I do a loop? Just one..

Even with my eyes open..I still can't see anything, not even a single light..

Another inaudible sigh left my lips..

Then all of a sudden, bright lights illuminated around me causing me to squint my eyes..I realized I also stopped falling

Damn it.

Once I adjusted, I opened my eyes again and I couldn't help but widen my eyes in shock...

What the hell...

I feel like I'm inside someone's head and seeing their memories, clips after clips...

Looking to my left I saw two figures standing under an Narra tree, they were smiling while holding each other's hands...

I couldn't speak still and just floated around with these clips of two lovers surrounding me.. With no other choice, I watched them..

They looked perfect like they were meant to be with each other and that nothing can seperate the two.

I turned my head to look to the next clip; this time they were sitting at the edge of the pond, under the brimming moonlight holding each other tightly, they were smiling so sweetly at each other I almost got jealous..

Looking at another clip, I saw them again, the same tenderness and love were present in their eyes...

I flinched when I started falling again and I can't help but release a silent scream (as I can't use my voice still)... What is going on?!

Give me a heads up first!!!

Whilst falling, I frantically look around me but soon the lights illuminating from the memory clips died out and I can't help but feel anxious...

It's like a part of me has been taken away..

I can't breathe properly and my arms and legs are numbed by the time another series of clips were presented infront of me as I keep on falling, fast yet I know what the clips contain by the next clip that played.







I released a groan when my face collided with the hard surface, bitch wasn't even jelly like, it's hard like a fucking cement bitch. Rubbing my nose, I frown when I saw the next video,

Its them again─ the lovers.

I inhaled and exhaled trying to even my breathing and when I finally calmed down I watch this two lovers again..

The first clip showed them standing at the border of an empire which was in the midst of war, they were pressing their foreheads together: Sorrow and loneliness surrounded their being.

One of them was wearing an armor( I speculated he was a soldier) while the other was wearing a long chinese robe,

this setting is in a chinese dynasty going to war.

The clip fast forward, the tall borders from earlier were now in ruins and every building and houses were destroyed, corpses laid around it. Some were sandwich between the houses and a large bolder.

Loud noises of horses and yells of an army could be heard from afar and soon the general, the lover from earlier entered the destroyed city with an army behind his back.

They came back victorious, it seems.

He looked around with anxiousness, I couldn't help but feel anxious too. I didn't see his male lover anywhere myself. Once I heard a shout of anguish, I glanced back to the general now holding his lover in his arms.

I could see that his lover's pale body in his arms, without a breath of life, those shimmering eyes whenever he look at the general were now closed. Seven arrows pierced on his back and his white robe turned almost red from his own blood.

A tear left my eye, god, that is painful, who could watch this painful reunion...

But why am I also hurting?

When the clip ended, another one played. Those two lovers again, maybe their second life or so. The golden haired general from the first clip was now a mercenary while his lover was a beautiful prince.

Destiny connected their lives again,

They met when the mercenary was delivering goods and was arrested as he was accused of illegal trading so he was taken infront the general prince.

Almost instantly they were entranced when their eyes met each others' , the clip continues to play and now they are in a forbidden relationship, standing behind the palace's walls, hugging each other tightly.

I couldn't hear what they were saying but the way the prince's eyes smiled, I knew it was good news.

But fate was cruel in their second life either─ the prince was married off but on the day of his wedding he eloped with his lover though not long after, they were found and the king threatened the mercenary's life infront of the prince.

Afraid, the prince married his supposed husband and the mercenary was left heartbroken but he reached out for his lover only to be turned down...

What happened next left me really heartbroken...

But why am I feeling my heart break?

The prince's father killed the mercenary behind the scenes and the prince grew old with a brokenheart, always thinking of his lover, where he could be or if he was happy..

He didn't get to know that he was dead. And that hurt so painfully as an audience of their love story.

It's so painful.. I hate it..

Now I guarantee you that i've been crying the whole time, I thought they will finally be reunited and start their own family and a happy ending! Now what the fuck is this!?

What kind of director could be this cruel?!






Soon the third clip played, in here they were already married with a kid. The beautiful lover went to the hospital when his husband left for work. Turns out he was there for check-up, I'm shock!

I jumped happily inside my head since my whole body is still numbed.

After the check up he went home with a smile on his face (he's excited to tell him the news) the lover kissed his kid's cheeks, after another hour his husband entered the house in a drunken state.

Ahh, lemme guess this is where it all started??, are you bullshitting me!?

And just as I guessed! The beautiful lover went for a kiss but the husband avoided it and just hugged the little lover before going in their bedroom. The lover was perplexed but thought his lover was just tired.

This treatment continued for days and the little lover was getting suspicious as his husband don't go home that much now so his pregnancy announcement was delayed.

The little lover with his child drove to his husband's company only to be met with an accident and was rushed to the hospital after.

I couldn't help but feel a pang in my heart, the accident looked ugly, the car was smashed under the large truck that transports money to banks like a potato. And he had just entered a surgery.

Why am I even watching this? Is this a dream?

While all this was happening the husband was in a meeting and after an hour or two he was ready to leave the company but the news of his lover's company entered his ears and he rushed to the hospital with the same anxious face when he lost him in their past lifetimes.

He waited for another five hours without an ounce of sleep when the emergency room opened and the surgery doctor exited with a sigh.

The husband rushed at the doctor's side, they talked, and soon his face turned ugly, tears started to pour out of his eyes while the doctor just gave him a look of sympathy.

He shakily entered his lover's room, the white clothe covered his lover's whole body, his shaking hands reached out to uncover his face and once he did he couldn't help but hug the corpse of his lover.

It seems so real— like something I've experienced before but I'm sure I haven't..

He wordlessly cried while hugging the beautiful male. The door opened revealing his two year old son with just a little scratch on his face, knees and arms wrapped in a bandage.

He cried again, hugging his confused son who soon started weeping alongside his father after learning his dad's death. The father cried more when he learnt that his husband was pregnant for almost two weeks now.

I saw regret, anguish and loathing in his eyes.




Then clips of another of their lifetimes continued to play like a broken record of a movie. Not one have they experienced a happy ending, it's either the other dies but the one who always die most of the time was the beautiful lover.

No matter how they die, whether the airplane they are boarding crashed or one of them get killed by a knife, truck or nature, or if one of them cheats. They always will have a tragic ending.

This is the last clip, their 16th lifetime to be exact and no happy endings so far. They were connected by destiny yet no god supported their relationship it seems as every time they will end up having tragic endings.

Again, why is it so painful?

For a while, darkness spoke for the sadness I felt which I do not know where it came from. Which god was cruel enough to break even the strongest knot; they fit each other but it seems that they were not destined in any life.

Who would be best fit the two then if not each other?

Then as if on cue, I felt my body fall at an alarming speed it scared me. The creepy drums playing in the background were hunting and blue, such thing added to the anxiety in my heart.

Oh, goddess, pray tell if I am about to die..





"─piel! ─respiel!!! Tyrespiel!!", Someone shooked me awake, it was the Crown Prince, Roux.

"Y-your highness!", I managed to utter despite the uneven breaths I took.

"Calm down, you were hypervintilating in your sleep that I thought you were having asthma.."

He softly stroke my head, his brows furrowed worriedly and his lips pursed in a thin line. I weakly reached out for his hand and took it in mine. His hands were rough with callouses in some areas, his fingers are long too,

Fascinated by the long fingers, I didn't even noticed that I stopped breathing heavily and I was focused on tracing the bulging veins at the back of his hand and there was this moles just beneath his elbow that if you connect them will form a star.

"What..did you dream about that it caused you to hypervintilate?"

The prince did not stop my actions as it was the first time he saw the bare-faced male put his guard down so he was imprinting it in his memory as much as he could.

I look up to him confusedly. I mean, I know why I hypervintilated but I can't seem to utter a word about it.

Roux saw the complicated look on my face and caressed my cheeks with his unoccupied hand and whispered sweet nothings. His normally firm and harsh voice now was soft and rhythmic in tone.

"Calm down, love, breathe with me...in..out...in...yes that's it, you're doing great, love...out.."

I followed after him liking the praises I get unaware that I let my guard down around him this time and unknowingly letting him plant a seed inside my heart.

"The final trial is tomorrow so get some rest..."

I hold onto him tightly not wanting to be left alone when my mind was in a mess, it became a habit now─ if my mind is in a mess i'll let kevin hold me, this time however, father needed his assistance about something.

I couldn't help but overthink again, Kevin hasn't left my side since he became my personal butler, it is unusual that he left me this time with this prince coaxing me instead.

I mean don't get me wrong, they're both hot and has different appeals and way of showing their domineering and sexy side.

Kevin is more on the obedient side and talk-when-asked-to side. His smile looks more like a smirk to me─ a playful one, he doesn't openly show his domineering side but when I disobeyed him once, he did not hesitate to command me to kneel while he sat infront of me with a stern look on his face while lecturing me.

How hot is that? don't get me wrong— i was living my life,😛💦.

And we don't have to talk about this prince─ crown prince beside me.

Even though I hadn't known Prince Roux that much but lemme just describe his physical appeal─ we don't need to look in the inside if his outer appearance is molded like an immortal cultivator.

His physical appearance changed these past chapters, ehem, ehem,...if kevin is my daddy then hoe Roux is my master, periodt.

Roux is wearing a spec for his right eye, dude he blind but i bet if he put it in he'll shoot it accurately, he wears his royal robes like a frickin' mafia and i just had to simp.

Additionally, his scarlet red eyes that shined like a gem and his phoenix hair. Imagine Sakusa with phoenix hair; red roots that faded into golden yellows at the end of each strands of hair....That's how he looks like.

His biceps are quiet hard too, ohmyghad, this appeal is so worth touching. His waist are even smaller than mine and his shoulders are quiet broad and narrow, his adam apple's goes down and up when he gulps.

In short, he was a beautiful masterpiece and here I am, a beautiful mess but at least I'm beautiful..

"Please don't stare at me with such salacious face because if you don't stop, this bed will be a witness to what I'm about to do to you, Amor."

Tyrespiel.exe stopped working.

Roux chuckle at the sight and leaned on the male's unresponsive state and kissed the tip of his nose before pulling him in his embrace again.

That is how Roman witnessed the two hugging each other comfortingly. And he was held back by his brother and butler..







Those memories were the last fragments of his previous lives which soon vanished after watching it. It was twisted in more ways than one but for him to be a hero, no ties should connect him to the past to be able to wield his innate magic; Tyrespiel was tristan, and tristan was tyrespiel and all the names he possessed in his past lives.

❝ the past is erased. no destiny nor faith to tie him down that will hold him back from eliminating him. only upon contact again will he rediscover that his past was by no means a judgement of god. ❞

Dear Tyrespiel,

My goodness, its been a while, isn't it? By the time you are reading this you have succeeded in eliminating me. My mother was right, I shouldn't have split my love because you will only suffer the consequences of my action.

I trapped you in my arms, not daring to let go even in the past lives that you could have met them.

Although it pains me to do so, once you are done reading this─ you will forget everything again: me, us, and the love that exist within you.

However know this, you are my first and last, my reason to exist in full bloom, the cause of my sacrifice, the rope that restraints me from hurting you but you are not the reason I became like this.

I chose to act like the villain I was expected to be, I am not pure, I am born of darkness and chaos and you were my light and peace amidst all this.

I hadn't forgotten you still and never will. my heart only has you, so I caged my own heart in hopes that I don't lose my left memento of you— your unyielding love for the past 16 lifetimes.

Even if I'm the only one who will remember all of it. This is my sin and I will bear yours.

Sincerely writing,

Lucas of your first lifetime, Adrian of your second,
Rize of your third; and in this lifetime please call me, Azazel..


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