The Mature Version of Chapter 93 and can be found in Transgression: Private Chapters which is on my profile. I have quite a few works, so you may need to scroll through to find it.

The beginning of Chapter 94 will hint at the overview without going into detail, so you are not missing any important story information by opting out of this chapter.

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Acacia/Ciarán - Age 18

"Acacia is a freaking genius...even if she doesn't always see it," Rian smiles as Taron sets the folding chessboard out flat on the dining room table. I'm shaking my head no, Lailoken sitting across from me as he arches a brow, Taron setting a box down next to Lailoken and one next to me.

Rian had been the one to find the chess set...

...and now-

"She beat me in two moves when we were younger," Taron shakes his head and I suddenly color, Lailoken chuckling as Taron continues to praise me, "I've never seen anything like it."

I really don't want to play chess...

...it reminds me that my limitations are to just that...the board and I can't set an application to real-world events.

Dad was right...I really am nothing like him.

Rian sits down right next to me, rubbing his chin while speaking out loud, "I wonder how you're going to beat him-"

"Apparently..." Lailoken cuts Rian off and chuckles, his eyes meeting with mine as he states, "...I'm already outmatched. Boys, is our dear mate truly in a league of her own?"

"I haven't played in awhile..." my voice is soft, remembering the way I'd left chess behind. I'd destroyed the one connection my dad had given me, making me believe that my mental strength could ever prepare me for anything my physical strength couldn't overcome...then, I withdrew from the chess club, leaving behind everything I'd surrounded myself with for protection and security.

"Then I should stand a fighting chance?" Lailoken arches a brow and I nod my head, glancing away for a moment. After we set up our pieces, making sure everything is in order, he makes the first move.

Lailoken's pawn moves forward and I reach out, grasping my own to counter his. The second I grasp the chess piece, I exhale sharply as images briefly flicker across my vision. It's not like visions I've had...

...more so...memories?

Landscape.

The road.

A loud buzzing sound pierces my eardrums while I turn my head to the side, releasing the piece not where I'd been intending to place it...though the second I no longer touch it, the move is made and set.

"Acacia?" Rian asks me with concern, glancing at him for a moment as the sound dissipates.

"Yeah?" I ask him, shaking my head a moment later. Seeing him looking at me, I reply back quickly with, "I'm okay...I don't really know what that was."

Lailoken keeps his eyes on me while Taron sits beside him. I nod my head at Lailoken after he waits for a while, regarding me with something I'm not entirely sure of. He lifts his hand, moving the next piece into place. With the way he's going, it'll be easy to trap and force him into checkmate.

Grasping the rook, I move it forward behind the pawn, but I feel it once again.

This time, it's a much sharper pain and I cry out, releasing the hold on the piece. My eyelids snap shut as I grasp the sides of my head, seeing the imagery of where I'd been...

...the ballroom, Cypher's bedroom...that room...Marcus.

The sky flickers briefly before me, the road following as it blends like an endless sea with one another.

Something...

"Acacia?!" Taron and Rian's voices are in sync, bleeding together as the sound cuts through the blood pounding in my ears.

It's just like that...

...everything is back to normal.

The images hardly make sense to me in respects to what's happened. Is it the continued post-traumatic stress?

"I...I think..." my voice is slightly uneven as I feel a tug in my veins, almost like they are drawing toward the surface of my skin. It becomes harder though to breathe and as I rise from the chair, I gasp and Rian reaches out, his arms around me before I fall.

"Acacia..." Lailoken's voice holds an edge to it and I can't understand what's happening.

Shaking my head, I force away from the pain and say, "I...need to lie down."

He nods while Taron is out of his chair, pulling the back of mine away. Rian holds me tight, a strength keeping me from falling while he helps lead me away from the dining table and toward the stairs.

"Loki...what's-" Taron is cut off as I feel another surge of energy as it consumes my hearing once again.

Rian guides me up the stairs, taking me to Lailoken's room before opening the door. He helps me inside, closing the door behind him as he crosses the room toward the bed with me still against his side. He pauses a moment, lowering me to the edge of the bed while asking, "What's wrong? Why are you hurting?"

"I-I don't know," I grasp the covers on either side of my thighs, breathing out sharply as the air catches in my lungs. The more I want to remember and feel everything...

...just like the visions, they become harsh and distorted. They become a blurry mess, sharply trying to edge closer to the center of my mind, begging and wanting to take control.

I don't want to remember, but at the same time, I can't relax enough to engage and allow whatever this is to drive me toward its destination.

"What can I do? Please tell me..." his voice is with earnest as I flick my gaze up to meet with his. The concern is set on his features and I shake my head because I don't believe he can help me.

"I just need to lie down," I nod, trying to reassure him.

Rian continues to stare at me, helping me though when I edge back into the bed and beneath the covers. His voice is quiet when he says, "I just don't want you to hurt anymore...you've hurt enough for everyone in this world for a lifetime..."

There is a watery tone at the end, turning over on my side to see tears are in his eyes. I furrow my brows at this, watching the way he leans down on the edge of the bed when I motion for him. I ask him, "Why say that?"

"I'm sorry..." there is more pain this time and he pleads with me, "...I doubted you. I couldn't protect you. I couldn't save you...I'm not strong enough for you, Acacia."

"Rian..."

"No, please..." he stops me and whispers, "...I understand if you don't want me to claim you. If you don't want me as a beloved, I understand because you deserve those who can protect you."

"Rian," I lift my hand up from the covers, cupping the side of his face as he leans down next to me. A small smile is on my face as I tell him, "I love you..."

His eyes hold mine and I slowly see relief leaving his tense features, a warm wave of emotion washing over him before he asks, "I want to..." though his voice trails off as he awkwardly glances away, a redness filling his cheeks as I furrow my brows.

"You want to what?" I'm a little confused. I feel how warm our touch lights my heart as he shifts his gaze back to meet with mine, his cheek moving in my hand. Tilting my head to the side, I release a small sigh and giggle, "You want to claim me?"

Rian nods his head, my hand slipping away from his cheek and I whisper, "I'd like that..." my head doesn't feel as absorbed with the way it had held those images, able to rest for a bit.

When it's quiet for a little while, he asks, "Can I just lay here..." he pauses a moment and I lift my chin, my cheek resting on the pillow, "...with you?"

Nodding my head, Rian carefully pulls back the covers, sliding down between them as he comes a little closer to me. He hesitantly reaches his arm out, touching my shoulder as his eyes hold mine.

He's not like Lailoken.

He's not like Taron.

He's shy...

...sweet with an undeniably caring, precious soul.

I'm used to others knowing everything and moving forward with what they want. Here Rian is...he wants to claim me desperately so...and he's the only one who hasn't mated with me in the process either.

As I lie there next to him, he snuggles closer, our foreheads almost touching as he whispers, "You smell like peaches."

A giggle leaves my lips and I arch a brow, "That's because Em 'n Em left me some wonderful products, including shampoo that smells like peaches."

"Oh...I..." Rian looks a little embarrassed.

He shakes his head as I ask, "What's the matter?"

"Well...it's not just your hair," he appears even more awkward.

"Well, there is such thing as lotion," I scrunch my nose at him as he colors, glancing away for a moment as we are so close. He's adorable...

A smile makes its way onto my face as I grab his attention again by whispering, "Hey, Rian."

"Wh-"

He's cut off a second later by sudden surprise, bringing his gaze back to meet with mine as we are inches from each other. I lift up slightly and kiss the tip of his nose, watching as his eyes widen when I then rub mine against his.

"I-I..." Rian fumbles again and this time, I lift my hand, touching the side of his cheek. My eyes search his before I draw my lips to his, gently kissing him as I hear him inhale sharply.

When I pull back away, my eyes meet with his again as I say, "You're sweet."

With Rian still in slight shock, I pull myself closer to him, bringing my forehead to his chest as I snuggle closer. He tentatively wraps his arm around my back, holding me as I hear the rhythm of his heartbeat lulling me into a calmness. Breathing in and out, we both fall asleep...though I'm not sure how long we are out for.

When I wake up, I can hear the steady heartbeat, feeling Rian's chin resting on the top of my head. His arm is around my waist, his legs locked with mine as we hold each other for the support we both want and need.

"Acacia?" Rian asks me and my heart skips a beat.

"Yes?" I pause a moment and then ask, "How long have you been awake?"

"Uh...a little while," he responds and I'm sure he knew I'd woken from the change in my heart rate...even my breathing as I feel his grip alter slightly on my waist. The way he moves, the way his hand touches my side and moves up slowly, I know what he wants...

...but, is he too shy to act?

I've not seen this.

Rian breathes out carefully and asks, "Acacia...I-I...I want to..."

"Rian...it's okay..." my voice trails off as I pull my forehead away from his chest, looking up into his eyes as he stares down into mine.

"You've been hurt by so many vampires...I..." he shakes his head, "...I don't know how...I-I don't want to hurt you either..." he pauses once again, seeing something lingering in his eyes as if he's afraid to speak his mind, but he finally does and it hits me hard when he states, "I know I resemble...what he did to you...I-" Rian is caught fumbling, afraid of what I'll think of him and who he looks like.

He's afraid and nervous...

With Rian...

...can he be the one I finally have some control?

I want to.

I release a shaky breath before I finally nod my head, slowly lifting up so that I'm resting my weight on one arm to my side. He looks at me, searching my features as I move toward him. I hesitate for just a moment, but then I press my lips against his. It's the same as before, hearing the unevenness in his breathing as I kiss him longer.

I'm ready to be in control.

💫--To Be Continued--💫
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