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Acacia/Ciarán - Age 17

Mercury taking Niamh in front of me...forced to watch everything. That was a whole new level of torture I didn't think possible...though the worst of it...

...Marcus.

I never believed at my refusal to suck Ciarán off would lead to Marcus being nearly beaten to death and cut multiple times with a blade. He's a child...

...how did they even get him?

Where is he?

It didn't matter though because it was the last time I ever said no, refused or fought back that entire night.

I've become nothing but a slave to them...I don't even know who I am anymore...

What's worse, the tears are no longer in my eyes, accepting the betrayal and hurt he intends for me to feel from this bond.

The real me is lost so long ago...unsure of the person I've become, hiding inside myself and away from them...the me that no one loves, that no one believes, that no one cares for...

...why bother showing it anymore?

It's only another way I can be hurt.

I sit in the backseat of the SUV, Ryser driving while Ciarán sits in the passenger seat. My eyes remain transfixed on my hands, staring into oblivion as everything around me fades away. They are chatting, but I don't know what about, tuned completely out until I hear Ciarán calling my name over and over again.

"Acacia," he calls once again, and I finally am drawn from my haze. My chin lifts and I glance to him while he stands next to the open car door. Saying nothing in return, I scoot to the edge of the seat and get out, my boots crushing the fallen snow.

I draw my hands into my pockets, the beanie in place on top of my head as Ciarán and I head to the front doors of Castle Valentine. I glimpse a few council members that are already present while others are being waited for.

Gabriel is quick to send me a smile, talking with Edeline as she waves at me cheerily. I nod my acknowledgment to them both before walking past Dante who's speaking with Grandpa Keir.

The second Grandpa Keir sees me; there is a calm relief that sets on his face...though the second I stare back at him, or rather...through him, I see the way his irises shift to their golden hue.

"-Niles at my pack-" Dante cuts himself short when he sees Grandpa Keir's wolf come forward and he turns to set his eyes on me.

It's similar in how I regard my grandpa that I hardly show anything other than a nod of acknowledgment.

Niles is away.

The winter solstice meeting will be well underway in about an hour.

My eyes glance away, walking toward the marble staircase while others socialize while waiting on the main level. I don't know where Ciarán went...I don't see him anymore, though he's probably off to his room or planning whatever it is Mercury and them all wish to proceed with.

They won't get another chance.

"Acacia?" Dad's voice slips through my barrier, looking up to meet his gaze while his green eyes stare into mine.

"Yes?" I ask, my voice flat and even.

"I wanted to-"

Dad is cut off though by the horrific screaming...

...my eyes widen when I hear Marcus.

I turn around to see one of Dante's scouts standing just in the entryway with Marcus. The vampire is confused while Dante confronts him, "What happened?!"

"I did my rounds, and he was trapped under a fallen branch near the forest's edge," he responds, and with a quick look over him, he's not one of the two that tortured Marcus.

Mom is walking down the hallway quickly before she drops to her knees, Marcus crying and being cradled in her arms as she questions, "Marcus?"

His lip is trembling, fear in his eyes as he stutters, "I-I tr-tripped—go-got l-lost an-and tr-apped."

No...

I recognize those eyes...

...eyes that lie with fear hidden beneath their depths of a threat not known to anyone but the victim.

Mercury and Ciarán had done what was once done to me when I was so young.

When I look away, dad's eyes catch mine again. My face remains emotionless because now I understand that Marcus will never be safe...

...even at my expense.

My voice is even when I say, "He needs you..." as my voice trails off, I walk right around him while muttering, "...perhaps you can save him where you failed to save me."

"Acacia, please talk to me-"

I shake my head whole replying, "There's nothing left to talk about."

I'm already gone.

I see out of the corner of my eye, dad looking at me and then down the stairs...he finally makes his choice and goes to Marcus. At least my little brother might break under the questions our dad fires off at him...or perhaps his blood memories might be true once they don't believe what he says...

...and if they believe him...

...they're all fools.

I glance toward the medical room door, seeing the lights are off. With a small sigh of relief, when I briefly test the handle, I see Niles didn't lock it, more than likely wanting to make sure if there was an emergency that others could access the room.

Perfect.

I walk toward my room, stepping inside before taking off my heavy winter coat. Going through my closet, I select a lighter indoor coat, the pockets sewn on the inside lining before I walk into the bathroom. My eyes briefly flicker to the mirror, staring at myself and hardly recognizing who I've become.

Everything is shut off though, the coldness in my chest a welcomed friend that protects me where others couldn't. With a brief nod, heeding Mercury's words about me remaining silent during the council meetings, that's not at all what I've planned to counter him.

My hands are back in my pockets, keeping to myself until it's time for the meeting. I still haven't seen Ciarán though, and I furrow my brows when I hear mom asking where he is to everyone in the castle. When I reach the hallway toward the council meeting chamber, standing slightly at the open doors to see dad and Grandpa Keir as the only ones who've gathered.

"-Crusaders Pack and the Primordial Snare Pack are at it more vicious this time..." Grandpa Keir releases a sigh and states, "I fear for the impression being passed onto Taron and Bryant."

"They haven't visited since..." dad's voice trails off.

Grandpa Keir shakes his head, "We no longer have an agreement. Our packs will remain cordial and allies if need be, but our merger no longer applies. There's no reason for them to return at all."

"I'm sorry," dad is genuine.

When I finally do walk further into the room, I catch both their attention.

"Hey Acacia, how's school going?" Grandpa Keir tries his best to reach out to me.

My eyes meet his before I reply, "Fine."

His irises reflect a golden glint before he nods and says, "I'm glad."

"Did you want to eat anything before the meeting?" Dad asks me gently.

"No," I'm quick to end the conversation, coming to my chair in between his and mom's.

After I take a seat, staring at the table, dad presses further and asks, "How was the chess meet?"

"Fine," I shrug my shoulders, keeping my eyes down and when I hear dad release a heavy sigh, I know he's not going to try and prey further...especially because others from the council are beginning to work their way into the room and take their seats.

I receive many cheerful smiles at my presence, but my lips remain in a tight line the entire time, my heart beating evenly. When I do lift my gaze a moment to see mom enter the room, my eyes briefly meet with Lars'.

He has a genuine and sincere look on his face, something that also confuses me.

It doesn't matter what others think of me anymore.

Mom sits at the head of the table, everyone else coming to take their seats. She begins with, "Another winter solstice meeting, I'd like to thank-"

"Excuse me, mom," my voice is low but clear to her.

She glances at me with confusion and asks, "Yes, Acacia?"

"May I say something before we begin?" I ask her, watching the way many stare at me with curiosity.

Mom nods and says, "Go on ahead."

I push my chair back slightly, hearing it scrap against the marble. My eyes glance to each one of the council members, seeing the way their features lighten when I pass them a gaze.

When my lips part, the confidence I have is the last, I'll need, save for the courage I'll show to myself soon enough...

"I, Acacia Arin-Valentine, relinquish my claim to the Valentine throne," my voice remains even the entire time, many of their looks shifting to that if shock.

"Acacia!?" Mom is in complete confusion.

Dante also questions me, "What are you doing?"

I feel something trying to break through the cold and harshness that comes so easily to me now...when I glance down to my side, it's dad's hand grasping mine. His eyes stare into mine, seeing the way he's trying to look deeper, but I don't allow it and shut him out.

"Acacia-" dad tries, but I cut him off.

"As I am no longer the heir to the Valentine throne, I'm excusing myself from this council meeting," I step out to the side of my chair, dad's grip slowly slipping before I walk behind the line of chairs. I can hear them all faintly, arguing with one another though it sounds like I'm underwater. Only when I reach the doors, do I say softly, "Thank you."

I'll be removing myself from this game...

...permanently.

Leaving the council meeting room far behind me, I walk back to the hallway of the medical wing, my steps set at an even pace with determination. I don't allow anything else to cloud my thoughts, reaching for the handle of the door before I slip inside, soundlessly allowing for the door to close shut behind me. My eyes land on the cabinets next to Niles' desk, crossing the room before I slowly open the top one, my eyes glancing over the many different labels on the containers.

I find the first thing I'm looking for, reaching for the container labeled: Phenergan.

Uncapping and shaking one of the pills into my palm, I cap the container and place it back where I found it. Taking a paper cup, I run a small amount of tap water from the sink and swallow the pill back, allowing for the properties to begin to kick in before I return to my room.

After discarding the paper cup, I crouch down to the lower cabinets and begin to rummage through the different containers until I find the next two items I'm looking for: Morphine and the second container: Dilaudid.

Stashing the two tablet containers in my inner coat pockets on the right side, I close the cabinets, rising before searching through the drawers next to the sink. It's once I get to the third drawer down do I find scalpels...

Removing one of the scalpels, I secure it carefully in my left inner coat pocket. Closing the drawer and turning on my heels, cross back toward the medical wing entrance. After poking my head out to glance down either way of the hallway, I step out into it and close the door behind me. I'm walking back to my room, my eyes set on the hall while my hands remain in my pockets, my steps even.

It's not long before I finally reach my bedroom door, stepping inside before I shut it behind me. My fingertips trail over the lock briefly before I twist it, shutting out the rest of the world physically...

Removing my coat and taking the two containers and scalpel, I discard the coat on my bed, turning to the bathroom before making my way through the door. Once inside the tiled walls, I shut the door and pause just for a moment...

...that moment does nothing for me, and I twist the lock on it too.

Setting the containers and the scalpel on the counter top of the sink, I bring my hands to my face, rubbing my forehead before releasing a sigh. I gather my hair at the base of my neck, drawing it into a low ponytail before tying it off with a hair tie. I reach for my ceramic mug next to the sink, filling it with water and setting it at the edge of the counter.

I slowly lift my gaze, staring into my eyes as there's no way for me to prevent my heartbeat from gradually escalating as everything begins to set in. About twenty or so more minutes pass, knowing the Phenergan will help in keeping the tablets down...

"Vexy was right..." my voice is hardly above a whisper, "...the game ended for me the second I was no longer a pawn."

I can't stop once I start and I have to focus...

I uncap both the containers, taking four of the Dilaudid into the palm of my hand before I toss them into my mouth, taking the water and swallowing them. I steady what nerves begin to surface, the beginning of the end within my reach. I then take out four of the Morphine, tossing them into my mouth and swallowing with another mouthful of water.

I bring my gaze back to my reflection, breathing in and out calmly as I assure myself that I won't throw them up. The stare I hold, it calms me slightly, even after five or so minutes when my breathing becomes uneven, the steady beat of my heart slowing and easing peacefully.

My hand is slightly shaky when I take the containers and empty out four more of each Dilaudid and Morphine. Exhaling slowly, I toss them in increments into my mouth, swallowing them down with ease as I almost misplace the mug when I set it on the counter.

I did misplace it, the ceramic clattering into the sink as I grip the edge of the countertop. My heart continues to slow over the few minutes it takes me to finally grasp the scalpel into my hand, my fingers wrapping around it firmly. My vision is slightly off, coming in and out of focus as my breathing comes short, my eyes flickering once more to my reflection...

I know I'm hallucinating now from the overdose...

...because I see golden writing shimmer across the mirror's surface:

Ekáti! Don't! Where are you?! Please don't do this!

My eyelids fall half shut as a sharp exhale is forced from my lungs, not realizing my grip falters with the edge of the countertop and I fall to the tiled floor. The scalpel is no longer in my hand when I look at my side, the metal clattering a foot away from me.

It takes effort as I reach out for it, finally feeling the metal being wrapped in my fingers again. I lay on my side slightly as I bring the blade's tip to the base of the inner part of my wrist, feeling the razor edge as I allow my heart to beat once more.

On the next slow beat of my heart, I drag the scalpel up the inner part of my forearm. The cut is deep and long; a very sharp, faint cry leaves my lips...blood seeps from the long cut, ending just below the inner part of my elbow.

The scalpel clatters once again to the tiled floor, my heart beating relatively fast for a moment as the cold remains fast in my chest. I feel my back touchback against the floor, my eyelids still half open as I look up to the warm lights.

"Acacia?" I can hear very, very faintly and perhaps it's also a hallucination of my dad's voice outside my bedroom door.

It's funny because I can almost see Marc's outline hovering over me, his eyes wide as he calls out to me without a voice. He even turns his head in the direction of the door, my eyelids barely in slits now as I feel everything slowing down, further down than I've felt myself fall before. It's peaceful and calm, hardly able to hear anything even though my gaze slides in and out of focus.

It's Marc's eyes that are staring down at mine again...he's yelling, screaming and crying...though, it's not Marc.

My eyelids finally flutter shut when I barely catch a hue of green from irises above me, the shift to bloody red rapid as I believe I'm finally finding that peace. My heartbeat is almost nonexistent, the feeling cold and numb from my entire body. It's...

...over.

It's finally...

"ACACIA!"

It's yelling over and over, feeling barely in my body as I'm unaware of what's happening. I hardly feel it, but the second something hard hits the back of my throat, I know I'm on my side, wrenching up everything on my stomach as...pain...

...pain takes through my body.

I'd rather live in the cold.

The suffocating feeling of the air having almost left me altogether, leaving me to peace...it's over before I know it.

Blood.

I taste it on my tongue, pooling in my mouth as I hear dad crying over and over again, "ACACIA! No! No, no, no, don't you leave me! I-I can't-"

It all hurts, every part of my body as feeling only returns slightly, but my muscles are spasming, dad's arms holding me close across his legs on the tiled floor. He's rocking me back and forth, my eyelids in slits again as I hazily glimpse the tears falling down his cheeks. He's sobbing, his body holding mine as it convulses without warning and I feel my heart rate accelerating, my eyes moving rapidly beneath my lids.

"NO!" He screams again, his grip on me tighter as I feel my body unable to control itself. It does finally come to a peaceful end, and dad cries to me, "My little love...Acacia, no..."

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Tourniquet by: Evanescence

💫--To Be Continued--💫
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