Chapter 27.....

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Semi-Edited!

Song above is...Green River Ordinance. (This song fits Riley and Alex so well I think! Listen to it!)

Happy Reading! :)

Recap: "Riley wait." As she turned to face me I lost the last shred of control I had over myself.

Taking the three steps in one stride I made my way towards her. Her eyes were wide as I bounded in front of her.

"Forgive me."

Before she could say a single word I grabbed the sides of her face and kissed her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Riley

I haven't been kissed that many times in my life. Mitch was my first kiss and at the time I thought it was amazing. Sure I didn't experience the whole 'foot-popping' thing but it thought it was good.

No. I was all wrong. If I had thought Mitch was a good kisser than Alex was...there were no words to even describe the feeling I had. It was the foot popping moment I've always wanted.

Before at the 'gym' when I kissed Alex it wasn't like this. This was everything I wanted our first kiss to be like. At first it was a little rough then the both of us just sunk into it.

All I could do was hold onto his shirt as he kissed me. And boy did Alex kiss me. Eventually we had to pull away and catch our breath. Placing his forehead against mine, the two of us closed our eyes breathing heavily.

I liked knowing I wasn't the only one affected. Alex seemed just as out of breath as me and I wanted to believe he enjoyed the kiss just as much as I did.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't leave without kissing you." Alex whispered, his lips softly brushing against mine as he spoke.

"I-its okay." I stuttered.

We stayed like that for a few minutes. Alex still softly holding my face and my hands gripping his t-shirt. Our foreheads were still touching but we both had our eyes open, staring at each other. All I had to do was move an inch and we'd kiss again.

"I better let you go inside." Alex mumbled sounding like that was the last thing he wanted to do. It was the last thing I wanted too but I think I needed a moment for everything to sink in. It's been a crazy day and being up all night last night I was exhausted.

"Okay." I breathed, yet neither of us moved.

Finally Alex pulled away, dropping his hands from my face, and taking a step back making my hands fall from his shirt. The look on his let me know stepping back wasn't what he wanted.

"I'll see you tomorrow." It came out more of a question as he gazed down at me.

"Tomorrow." I nodded. Thank god tomorrow was Sunday and not Monday. With one last smile at me, Alex walked backwards towards my car. I wanted to grab him and pull him back but I didn't have the confidence to do so. Or to even ask him to stay.

Waking up to him this morning was...different. I'm not use to waking up to a house full of people, let alone a guy in my bed. But it was the best nights sleep I've gotten in a while, even if I was drunk.

With one last breath taking smile Alex got in the car, disappearing from sight. My was fluttering like mad in my chest as I pushed my front door open. I took another glance at the driveway and found Alex still idling there waiting for me to go in.

With my cheeks bright red and a loopy smile on my face I walked through my door and shut it behind me. Resting my back against it I let out a squeal I've been holding in.

Now that I was alone I did a little happy dance against the door, squealing like a little kid who just got cake. Placing my hands on my burning cheeks I grinned while replaying the kiss in my head.

Alex kissed me.

The kiss at the gym was more of a 'in the moment' type kiss, and we had an audience, so Alex could have just kissed me back to not let me feel embarrassed. But this time he did it on his own. He voluntarily kissed me!

I was literally floating on Cloud 9 and I didn't want to come down from it anytime soon.

With an ear-splitting grin I finally moved away from the door and headed for the stairs. I was beyond giddy and despite it being late I didn't feel tired at all. I was still a little high on the atmosphere from the gym and now the kiss.

The fact that it was Alex Kinley that kissed me still baffled me a bit. He could have any girl he wants, hell they all practically throw themselves at him. I've seen first hand how many girls like Alex. I'm not that oblivious that I don't see the looks girls give him and then me for standing next to him.

I was pretty sure the entire girl population at school hated me. First for dating Mitch, then 'cheating' on him, and now being around Alex. In their minds I was stealing the two hottest guys the school had.

I didn't even want to think about what would happen when someone finds out we kissed. I wasn't sure where the kiss was going to lead. Sure I wanted more but I don't know where Alex's head is at.

It could be a one time thing between us. He could realize that being with me causes too many drama and trouble. Trouble he didn't need in his life.

If it honestly came down to it I would accept his decision not to be with me. I wouldn't want to be with someone with as much baggage as I had. Let alone having the entire school always at our backs.

All kinds of bad thoughts were swarming my head as I changed and got ready for bed. But I didn't want anything to ruin tonight. I wanted to remember this moment without all the 'what ifs'. It was a good night and its been awhile since I've felt this happy. I was going to enjoy it no matter what.

So pushing aside all my negative thoughts I got in bed with a smile still planted on my face.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"Helen?" I called out, shouldering open her front door.

"In here!" I heard her call out from what I believe was the kitchen. With full arms I made my way towards her voice.

After getting up this morning I realized I've been slacking when it comes to Helen lately. Being so busy with everyone I haven't really worked or seen Helen as much as I usually do. I felt extremely guilty which lead me to calling her seeing if she needed anything at the store.

I practically begged her to let me go to the store for her and then drop the stuff off. I knew she was perfectly fine doing it herself but I've missed seeing her. And the guilt of not working much is weighing me down; despite her telling me it was okay.

"Good morning." I greeted once I entered her kitchen.

"Hi sweetie." When Helen turned around she rushed to my side. "Honey you didn't have to carry it all." She fussed, grabbing a two bags from my arms. I didn't want to make two trips so I weighed myself down so I wouldn't have to.

"It's okay they aren't too heavy." I lied. One glance at the red lines along my arms was proof the bags were heavy. After placing them on the counter I was pulled into a tight hug.

"Thank you for going to the store for me."

"Of course." I moved to help her put stuff away. "How have you been?" I questioned.

"I've been good. These old bones can't stop me." Helen joked. "How about you? I'm happy you've been going out."

"I'm good. I'm sorry I haven't been around. I promise I'll be back to work more."

"I'm perfectly fine running the store and I do have Tina helping me. You deserve to go out and have fun Riley."

"I know but-"

"No buts. You are finally acting like a teenager and I am happy for you. Plus Tina likes the hours." I knew it was useless trying to even try and argue with Helen. "But tell me about these new friends of yours."

I couldn't stop the grin that over took my face.

"They are pretty great." As we unloaded her groceries I talked about everyone. I haven't had someone to talk to about Alex and his friends. No one to really gush to about the fact that I met some pretty cool people. I couldn't tell my brother because if he knew I was hanging out with guys he'd freak; plus he was miles away. And my parents...well not sure they would bother to answer the phone.

I did leave out the part about Alex and I kissing. It just happened and I wasn't even sure it would happen again either. It was all so new that I didn't want to go talking about it in case it all blew up in my face. Nothing more embarrassing than gushing about something or someone and then having it all disappear the next day.

"So this Alex guy," Helen started to say. I ducked my head so she couldn't see my face, afraid she'd pick up more than I told her about. "He seems like a good guy."

"He is." I replied softly. It was crazy how Alex had this reputation for being such a bad boy and when I first met him I thought the exact same thing. He was cold and distant, he still had his moments like that. But he was far from that guy.

Maybe he's only showing me a certain side but I've seen how he acts around his friends, around his sister. He is a good guy. I didn't need to know about his family and sister to know he was a good guy with a good heart.

We were quiet for a few minutes, me putting the bags under sink like Helen always does while she made me a glass of her famous lemonade.

"Are you going to tell me whats going on between you two?" Helen suddenly asked, placing the lemonade in front of me. My head snapped up so fast I almost got whiplash.

"What? There's nothing going on."

"Hun, you can't hide from me. I saw the way you talked about him. Your face lit up like a christmas tree." My cheeks flamed at her words. I tried to act nonchalant when talking about Alex but it clearly didn't work. "I haven't seen you look like that. Not even with your last boyfriend."

I turned my gaze down to the glass, tapping my finger against it as I avoided her gaze. Helen didn't know much about Mitch and I's relationship. She did know we were together and when we first got together I was giddy. Giddy about the fact that the star football player asked me out. But I was such a nervous wreck about it.

When things started to turn with Mitch I never told her about it. I put on the fake smile whenever she asked how we were doing. I guess she noticed I wasn't exactly happy but she doesn't know the extent of how unhappy I really was. Plus she's never met Mitch. He never came by the bookstore when we 'dated'.

"I don't...I'm not sure what's going on between us." I spoke softly. "We kissed last night, but it may have just been in the moment you know. I'm not sure if I'm ready to date again or if he even dates. He's got other stuff to worry about in his life and to add me in the mix." While I rambled Helen sat there listening. "I just...don't know." I sighed.

"It sounds like you like him." I went silent at her words. They echoed through my head before finally sinking in. I shouldn't have been surprised at the shock that went through my body at her words, but I was. I knew I liked Alex but it wasn't until Helen pointed it out that I realized just how much I actually liked him.

I guess I haven't been as honest with myself about how I feel. After last night my feelings have definitely grown. Anytime anyone kisses you your feelings skyrocket. I just hadn't realized how fast my feelings grew in a short amount of time.

"I do like him." I whispered.

"Why do you sound so sad about it? It's a good thing to like someone." Helen reached over and grabbed my hand, drawing my attention to her.

"I don't want to get my heart broken again." My voice slightly cracked. My biggest fear was Alex doing the same thing to me that Mitch did. That all of it was a lie and being used to only be humiliated once again. I wasn't quite sure I could bounce back from that again.

"Riley there will always be a chance for you to get your heartbroken. That will never go away no matter how hard you run from it, but running will break you more than if you stayed. The what if's will always haunt you.

"I ran away from the love of my life and it was the worst decision of my life." I looked at her in surprised.

"I thought Harold was the love of your life?"

"He was the second love of my life." I watched as her eyes dimmed slightly at the thought of her late husband. I instantly felt bad bringing up her late husband knowing how it was still a soft spot.

"Harold was a good man. He was kind, funny, everything you'd want in a husband. He became my everything and I loved him dearly, but nothing will ever hold a candle to your first love."

"What was his name?" I leaned forward needing to know more.

"Jay." When her eyes lit up I think I knew what she meant when your eyes lit up like a christmas tree. "Oh back in the day he was such a stud." I grinned at her wording.

"He was a year above me in school and whenever we passed each other in the halls he would send me this wide grin that never failed to make my heart race. The moment we talked I knew I wanted to marry him. Everything in me knew he would be my husband one day." A sort of haunting tone took over her voice, this time it was me grabbing her hand.

"But back in those times it wasn't easy for us. Whenever we went out people would stare or make comments. No one in town wanted to see a white woman with a man of color. People hated us being together; my parents included." I felt my chest as she talked, not being able to imagine how hard that would have been.

"We got through it. That summer was the best summer of my life." Tears gathered in Helen's eyes and I squeezed her hand tightly. "But as soon as school came around my parents gave me an ultimatum. Break up with Jay myself or they would send me away to some private school. Away from the boy that was 'corrupting' their daughter.

"When I told them I wouldn't do it they made the decision for me. Next thing I know I'm being shipped off to some all girls boarding school for my last year of high school, hundreds of miles away from Jay. I tried to write but he never responded. Slowly time passed and I met Harold."

"Helen-" I started but she patted my hand.

"It's okay dear it was a long time ago. I do regret not having fought harder for us but Harold became my world and I couldn't have asked for a better husband and father." She sent me a small smile. "My point Riley is you can't be afraid to fall for someone. There is a chance you'll get your heartbroken but you won't look back at it with regret. Regret is worse than heartbreak."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Are you seriously doing homework?" Derek asked as he walked into my kitchen, finding my sitting at the counter with my textbooks spread out in front of me.

I was jerked out of my thoughts by his voice. Not having heard them come in and slightly forgetting everyone was coming over.

"Uh yeah?"

"It's a Sunday." He said in a 'duh' tone, like it was against the law to do homework on a Sunday. Although the past ten minutes I've been replaying Helen's story over and over in my head. My homework mostly forgotten in front of me.

"So? I don't want to fall behind." I turned back to my Government homework. I felt him move behind me and peak over my shoulder to see what I was doing.

"We aren't even learning this for another week!"

"I like to be ahead." I defended myself. There was nothing wrong with getting a head start on homework. The sooner I finish it the less time I have to worry about it. And I may have been trying to distract myself from my conversation earlier with Helen.

"At least she is trying with her homework." Olivia spoke from behind me. I sent her a grin over my shoulder.

"Hey I try with my homework!" Derek exclaimed.

"Doing it right before handing it in doesn't count."

"Yes it does. At least I did it." He stuck his tongue out at her, making me laugh. Knowing I wasn't going to get anymore work done with them here I shut my books and started gathering my stuff.

"Or you copy my homework." I didn't have to turn around to know Olivia had her hands on her hips giving Derek a look. Liv took her school work seriously while Derek...he only put in effort sometimes. He was smart he just didn't seem to apply himself sometimes. It was something that seemed to annoy Olivia to no end.

"And you still let me copy." Liv didn't answer that but I knew she was shaking her head. When it came to Derek she couldn't say no. And same went with Derek.

I moved all of my stuff off to the side of the counter before turning my full attention to Olivia and Derek. The two of them were having a stare down. It was comical watching little Olivia glaring up at Derek who towered over her. From the smile tugging at Liv's face she didn't mean her glare at all.

As predicted the smile broke out on Liv's face and she shoved Derek. She turned her back, completely missing the look that appeared on Derek's face. I couldn't help myself as I came up to his side and nudge him with my hip, a knowing smirk on my face.

"What?"

"Nothing." I sang before sending him another smirk and walked towards Liv. Just as I came up to Liv's side the front door opened, drawing my attention.

The door opened and immediately my gaze landed on the one person that has been on my mind all night. Those grey eyes held me in place as Alex walked through the door.

I could feel my cheeks heating up at the thought of our kiss. All morning I had silently stressed about seeing Alex again. I went from excitement to nervousness and then back to excitement all morning long. I wasn't quite sure how I should act around him now.

One of the reasons I was doing homework was to distract myself from Liv texting me that everyone was coming over. By everyone I took that to mean Alex. For the past half hour I've been focused on my homework instead of Alex. Leaving no room for certain thoughts to wiggle into mind.

But standing there looking at Alex I felt my nerves dissipate a bit. And the smile he sent me made my knees weakened. The sound of my name being yelled jerked my gaze away from Alex's.

I came back to earth just in time to feel Harper run right into my middle. I staggered backwards a step and tried to gain my breathing back.

"Riley." Harper tilted her head back and grinned up at me. Her smile was infectious as she grinned at me, her missing front teeth sticking out.

"Hi sweetie."

"Look at my outfit! I picked it out myself." She pulled back to show me her outfit. My smile grew as I took it all in. Harper clearly picked it out herself.

On top Harper had a bright pink t-shirt with a unicorn plastered on the front and looked like it had those sequins that change color when you run your hands over it. For bottoms she had on orange leggings underneath a blue tutu. Yes a blue tutu. Her dark hair pulled into two pig tails.

"Wow that is...such a cute outfit! You picked it out yourself?"

"Yep." She nodded her head making her pigtails fly around.

"I love it." The way she beamed up at me I knew my response made her day.

"Is that my favorite little buddy?" A new voice yelled. Before any of us could say a word a pair of arms suddenly grabbed Harper, pulling her high into the air.

Her squeals echoed around the house as Derek lifted her up and swung her around. I watched as he carried her through the house into the living room, making airplane noises as he went.

My attention was torn away from the pair and went immediately to Alex who was still standing in the doorway. We both met each others eyes at the same time, the soft grin he had on while looking

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