Casper

The wedding was tomorrow.

Tomorrow!!

And I still hadn't talked to Joel.

I'd been putting it off, and putting it off, knowing that it was probably going to be one of the hardest conversations of my life.

I was regretting putting it off though. To be honest things had gotten a little easier over the last couple of weeks. Well, since I told Emily really.

I still hadn't talked to, or even seen Joel, and that was definitely helping. I thought about him a lot less now. And I was even sleeping better at night.

It's not like I didn't think about him at all, but it was probably only about once every hour, rather that once every 5 minutes.

And of course, now I needed to see him again. And I had a sneaky suspicion that it was going to put me right back to square one.

But it needed to be done, and at least I had a huge distraction tomorrow! And the day after the wedding we were flying out of the country for our honeymoon, so that should also help.

I gave my bedroom a final glance over. I had spent the last hour sorting through my belongings, to make room for whatever Emily brought with her. This would be the last night that it was going to be my room. After tomorrow it would be our room.

The thought made my stomach flutter nervously. I had always been very territorial about my room and didn't like others to go in it. Because Emily wasn't my natural mate, it was going to be very difficult for me to just accept her sleeping in my room.

I sighed. I just had to think of it like ripping off a Band Aid. It would be uncomfortable at first, but I was sure that I'd get used to it quickly.

I went over to my bed and picked up the coat that was lying across it.

I brought it up to my face, inhaling deeply.

Why did it have to smell so damn good?

But I knew that it couldn't stay here.

It was time.

I folded the coat neatly over my arm then walked out of my room, and headed down the stairs to the staff areas.

I quickly made my way along the corridor, and tapped lightly on Duncan's door, before stepping in.

Duncan looked up from some paperwork on his desk, and his eyes widened on seeing me there.

I quickly shut the door behind me.

"Is everything ok, Sir?" Duncan asked.

"Yes, it's fine," I said taking a seat on the other side of his desk. "I just felt like I should talk to you......about Joel."

"Ahh," Duncan said, lowering his pen and sitting back in his chair.

I stared at Duncan for a moment before finally finding the courage to ask, "so, do you think it might be true?"

Duncan sighed, and for the first time ever, he seemed to look his age.

"I don't know," he replied, "but there is enough doubt to make me want to air on the side of caution."

I nodded at him slowly.

"And do you think I'm doing the right thing?" I asked.

I could feel my heartbeat speed up while I waited for his reply. I don't know why, but his opinion really mattered to me.

"Yes, I do," he replied.

For some reason I felt disappointed by his answer. His answer was the one that I was expecting, but the feeling of disappointment took me so much by surprise, that I momentarily dropped my guard and let my face show my feelings.

Duncan noticed and his eyebrows immediately shot up.

"You're not having second thoughts are you?"

"No, not at all," I replied honestly. "I just.....I don't know.......I think I just wanted someone to be on his side, you know?"

"What makes you think I'm not on his side?" Duncan said, clasping his hands together on his desk.

"I don't know. I'm not saying you're not. But it just feels like I'm part of this big machine that's just knocked him out of the way. Like he's some kind of inconvenience."

"I see what you mean. But if it helps, I don't think Joel thinks like that."

I stared down at the coat that was still sat on my knee. It felt warm. Like it was a living breathing thing.

"What do you think would have happened, if we were mates, and we'd accidently sealed the bond?"

I knew the answer to this, but right now I just needed to hear someone say it to me.

"I think your father would have killed him."

I snapped my head up in shock. That was not what I was expecting at all. I thought he would have said we would have been kicked out of the pack, or that I would have had to reject him, making things even worse. I was not expecting him to give Joel a death sentence.

"No, he wouldn't," I said firmly, but already my mind was whirling over the possibility.

Duncan shrugged. "We would never know for sure. But I'm certain that your dad would have contemplated it, and that for me is enough."

I gripped onto the coat tighter, all of a sudden feeling slightly sick.

I guess I really had made the right decision.

And even though I didn't feel it now, I knew that eventually, that was the thought that was going to get me through this.

I stood up.

"Can you give this to Joel for me. I borrowed it some time ago, and just found it in my wardrobe."

Duncan reached over and took it off me. My hands felt empty without it.

I paused at the door. I felt like I wanted to say something, but I couldn't think straight.

"Don't worry," Duncan said with a kind smile, "I'll make sure he's ok."

"Thank you," I said, before leaving the room.

All I had to do now was wait.