Casper

I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling. I knew I should be up by now, but I figured that seen as it was my birthday yesterday, my dad would give me a little more time.

I wasn't hungover. Wolves didn't really get hangovers. We did get dehydrated though and I had a slight headache because of it.

I didn't remember all of last night, although I remembered the majority of it. I remembered having fun, which was a nice change. It was probably the first time I had really let my hair down in a very long time.

It was possible I had done a little damage with my fledgling relationship with Emily. I barely talked to her all evening. It wasn't because I didn't like her company, but for one night I just wanted to forget about my responsibilities, and she was just a constant reminder of them.

I hoped she would forgive me. I knew I would have some making up to do. Maybe I could send her a little something as an apology?

Hmm, what would she like? I know what she'd like. She'd like my Cub.....Joel.

JOEL!!

His name is Joel!

"Joel.....Joel......Joel." I played with the sound on my lips.

Yes, it definitely suited him. Although I think I liked 'Cub' better. Somehow knowing his name made him more.....I don't know....real. It made me think about what his life must be like outside of the manor. Does he have any siblings? Who are his friends? What if he has a girlfriend?

The last thought sparked something deep inside. Jealousy? No, surely I wasn't jealous. Afterall, I didn't want him as my boyfriend. It was more like I just didn't want to share him. I felt possessive, like he belonged to me.

A memory flashed through my mind from last night. He gave me a present!

I jumped out of bed and rifled through my pockets trying to find it. I was still wearing my clothes from yesterday, but there was nothing in them.

I thought hard, trying to remember. He gave it to me in a ring box, I remember that much, but I couldn't remember anything about what I did with it.

A coat!! I was wearing a coat!

I ran out of my bedroom and into my lounge and saw the coat lying across my sofa.

I quickly grabbed it and routed through the pockets.

It was there! I felt the relief rush through me. I pulled out the ring box, and chuckled at the thought of him getting down on one knee. Of course he didn't do that, but the thought made me laugh.

I opened the box expecting to see the tiger pin, but the box was empty.

I groaned in frustration as I routed through the pockets of the coat again, in case it had fallen out of its box.

Of course, it wasn't there.

I sat on the sofa with my now pounding head in my hands. I suppose he didn't need to know that I had lost it. It's not like I would be able to wear it without raising a lot of questions.

I sighed and was about to put the box back in the coat pocket, when I realised it wasn't my coat. It was Joel's.

I stared at it. Why did I have a strong urge to bury my nose in it and take a deep breath? That was weird, right? Or maybe it was just a wolf thing? Maybe I just needed to smell the scent that had come into my territory.

Before I could argue any differently, I brought the coat to my face and breathed in deeply through my nose.

The smell was intoxicating. It made my insides tremble with excitement. It made me feel both wide awake and sleepy at the same time. It was exhilarating, but comforting.

I sat there on my sofa, my face buried in his coat, just rhythmically breathing in and out.

I slowly lowered the coat away from my face, and let it rest on my knee.

I think I could safely say that was not a wolf thing. There was no use denying it now. I was in trouble. Deep trouble.

******************

It didn't take long for Luna to seek me out later that day.

"Hey brother dear," she said, her sickly voice making me cringe.

I did love my sister, but I also knew that she had an uncanny ability of picking out my biggest weakness, and either ridiculing me for it, or using it against me.

And now I most definitely had a weakness. A huge weakness.....with beautiful hazel eyes, and a smile that lit up his face. A weakness that I desperately had to hide at all costs. Especially from Luna.

"What do you want?" I growled.

"Now, now. That's no way to treat the sister who saved your pretty, little backside last night!"

"What?" I said, not sure how she could possibly think she helped.

"Well who do you think it was who made sure Emily was entertained, while you played 'let's get hammered' with Jamie?"

I stared at her in shock. For one thing, she was really mad. It wasn't often that Luna got mad. She didn't get mad - she got even. And also, since when did she do something to help me? She was usually the first to gloat at my idiotic behaviour, after she'd encouraged it in the first place.

"Was she upset?" I asked.

Luna shrugged. "If she was, she didn't show it. But maybe that was because I was there to take up the slack."

"Thank you," I said, although I was sure thanks weren't what she wanted in return.

"Ok," Luna said before starting to walk away.

"Wait a minute?" I called after her. She looked at me questioningly.

"What, no blackmail? No favour I have to return? Come on Luna, where is it?" I said, running out of patience.

"No, not this time brother," she simply said before heading out of the door.

I shook my head in disbelief. Maybe she wasn't looking for a favour now, but I was as sure as anything that she would call in her debt sometime soon.

I hid myself away for most of the day. I had too much going on in my mind to make conversation with people, and I most definitely didn't want to see Joel today. Ok, that wasn't entirely true, but I just knew I needed more time to bury these new feelings that I seemed to have acquired.

But after spending most of the day with myself and my thoughts, I needed some company. I needed some normal conversation, to help me forget about everything for just a few minutes.

The manor house seemed unusually quiet. I guessed most of the staff had the day off after working overtime yesterday.

I made my way into the family lounge and saw Star sitting quietly reading a book.

"Really? Twilight?" I asked as I got up close.

Star chuckled lightly. "So, I like a good romance!"

I just raised my eyebrows at her and sat down on the sofa next to her.

Star put her book down and turned to look at me.

"So how was your birthday?" she asked.

"It was good, I guess," I replied.

"You guess?" she said raising her eyebrows. "Were you not there?"

I laughed. "Maybe not all of the time. Some of it is definitely a little hazy."

Star smiled and looked down. She looked like she was deciding on whether she should say something or not.

"So which bits do you remember?" she finally asked.

I narrowed my eyes at her slightly. I knew there was a hidden meaning behind her question but I wasn't sure what it was.

"Well, I remember most of it, just the last hour is a little fuzzy. I have no idea how I got to my room. Do you know how I got there?" I asked, wondering if that was the point that I did something embarrassing.

"I think Jamie and Simon dragged you up there," she replied. "I was already in bed by then. Apparently someone attacked you with cushions while you were passed out, but I don't know who."

That seemed to jolt a memory in the back of my mind. The only one who had ever pelted me with cushions was Joel, but that was when we were playing; surely he wouldn't do it to me while I was passed out? Who was I kidding, of course it was something that he would do.

"You know who it was don't you?" Star said while scrutinising my face.

I realised that I had a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth, and I quickly replaced it with a frown. I really needed to be more guarded.

"And I have an idea who you think it is?" Star said with a twinkle in her eye.

"Who?" I asked. Then immediately regretted it.

"Do you really want me to say his name?" she asked.

I stared at her, keeping my face calm while inside my mind was whirring like the waltzers. What did she know? How could she possibly know, when I didn't even know till this morning?

I was just getting to the conclusion that I was being paranoid, when Star said,

"You need to be careful you know. As much as I think it's adorable, I doubt that everyone else will."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, going for flat out denial.

Star chuckled quietly. "You can deny it all you want Casper, but that won't make it go away. You need to admit your feelings if you're going to work out a way to deal with them."

"I'm fine." I said, starting to get very uncomfortable with this conversation. I wished I'd stayed in my room.

"Then answer these questions for me then," she said, "and not out loud, just answer them in your head, but truthfully."

"Go on" I said, feigning boredom.

"When you think about all the people who were at the party last night, who do you think of first?"

Joel

"Whose conversation have you replayed over most in your head today?"

Joel's

"If you could relive one moment of your party, which would it be?"

The one where I talked to Joel

"Who have you thought about most today?"

Joel

"And whose present was the one that meant the most to you yesterday?"

Joel's. Wait a minute....

I turned to look at her, "How did you know?"

"I saw," she said.

I carried on looking at her questioningly.

"I happened to be looking out of the window," she explained, slightly apologetically. "So I was right then?" she asked.

I slumped my shoulders in defeat. I guess it wasn't a bad thing that she knew. It would be nice to have someone to confide in and get advice off. And I trusted Star. She wasn't like Luna. Star would keep my secret to the grave.

"What do I do?" I asked quietly.

"Oh Casper," she sighed, putting her hand on my knee. "I think you know what you have to do. You need to keep away from him. Let those feelings die away."

It shouldn't have, but her answer shocked me. I took in a sharp intake of breath as I felt a pain in my chest. Star's grip on my knee tightened to show her sympathy.

"I know," I managed to croak out, although the words seemed to be like razor blades in my throat.

"You may not see it now, but Emily is good for you, and she will be good for this family. Even Luna has taken a liking to her, so that can only be a good thing!"

I smiled at her attempt to lighten the mood, but it felt slightly forced.

"You're right, I know you're right." I said. "I don't know what's wrong with me at the moment. But I do like Emily, and despite what you might think, I do want things to work between us."

I wasn't lying. That was the truth. I just wished that Joel could be part of my life too. But I knew that wasn't possible. The longer I let this go on, the harder it would be.

"If you need anything, you can always come to me," Star said, and I was extremely grateful for having such a caring sister.

"Can I ask what he got you?" asked Star.

"It was a badge," I replied, "with a tiger on it."

Star looked both amused and puzzled.

"He said that it was the animal I reminded him of the most," I explained.

Star nodded to show she understood. "I suppose that makes sense seen as he's your Cub."

I hadn't thought of it like that, but it gave a warm glow inside to hear it. "I actually thought of him as more of a bear cub than a tiger cub" I admitted.

Star chuckled. "Best not tell him that," she said.

"I don't suppose you saw what I did with the badge, it's just I can't find it anywhere this morning?"

"Yes, Joel has it" she replied. "You dropped it when you stormed off."

"I stormed off?"

"Well that's what it looked like from where I was watching. You tripped and fell, then Joel offered you a hand to get up, you ignored it, then stormed off inside."

"Oh damn," I said, holding my head in my hands, the memory coming back to me.

"What did he say to upset you?" Star asked.

I sighed. "Nothing. I guess what you saw was just a wonderful display of denial. Is he in today? I should probably go and apologise," I said, standing up to go.

"What happened to staying away from him?" Star asked, with a rather amused look on her face.

"It's called easing myself in." I said, then left to go and find my Cub.