It's eight o'clock.

Do you know where you're children are?

Actually, it's more like it's eight o'clock and I'm standing outside the door of the girl I'm in love with.

Scared out of my head.

But I'm here.

I'm queer.

Get used to it.

Ah, no more jokes.

It's time to get serious.

Or it could be time to run in the other direction.

No!

That is not the way to think Jisoo.

Be aggressive.

Be, be aggressive.

Go team!

What the hell am I even thinking about?

I can do this!

I can do this!

I can do this!

I think I can!

I think I can!

I think I can!

I'm the little lesbian that could!

I've come this far, I will not turn around and go home.

I would have been here sooner but I had to pick out just the right outfit to tell Jennie I'm in love with her.

Or, you know, I could have been stalling for time.

Yeah, that sounds more like me.

I wasn't even sure Jennie would be home.

So I may or may not have called earlier and hung up when she answered.

Thank goodness for the ability to block my number by pressing a few simple buttons on my phone.

Not that I would ever use that power for evil or anything.

So, yeah, it seems the only thing I have left to do is ring Jennie's doorbell.

That's about it.

Just hit the little button that will let Jennie know someone's here to see her.

Someone who wants to know why she's been avoiding a certain someone.

Yup.

That's all I really need to do now.

In case you were curious about my outfit, I'm wearing jeans and a long sleeved light blue shirt. The kind of shirt where the sleeves are too long for my arms so I can hold on to them in the nervous habit type of way I do.

Right.

So.

Here I go.

I'm going to ring the doorbell.

Right about now.

Oh my god!

I did it!

I can't take it back.

Maybe I should hide in the bushes.

No, that's not me making a dirty joke, that's me wanting to flee so fucking bad.

Oh my god!

I hear the door being unlocked.

I want my mommy!

You know I really should teach Jennie about living in L.A. because she's opening the door without even asking who it is. You'd think she'd be more suspicious coming from New York.

Ah!

The door is opening.

I repeat, the door is opening.

Just when I'm about to pass out from nerves my eyes connect with Jennie's.

Oh my god!

She looks so good.

She's wearing pink and brown checkered pajama pants and a white tank top.

Does she ever look bad?

Not from what I've seen.

"Hey, Jisoo," Jennie starts as she leans against the door frame. "What are you doing here?"

Oh hi, Jennie.

How are you?

It's been a few days, are things going well with you?

Me?

Well, I've pretty much been going out of my mind trying to figure out what's going on in yours.

Why you ask?

Because I'm kind of in love with you.

Not kind of, actually.

More like madly in love with you.

So I came here tonight to find out if you feel the same way.

And also, I wanted to ask you about Hanbin.

What exactly is the deal with him?

Boyfriend?

Best friend?

Controlling asshole?

So yeah, that's why I'm here.

There's one more reason why I'm here as a matter of fact.

I happen to think you're the hottest woman on the planet and I'd really like to see what you look like naked.

You probably figured that out with the whole I'm in love with you declaration but just in case you weren't sure I had to get that out there as well.

That would be about it.

And your thoughts are...

"Hey, I uhm, I was uhm in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop in to uhm say hello," I stammer out as I shuffle nervously on my feet.

Damn!

What a dumbass thing to say!

Could I possibly have sounded more stupid?

In the neighborhood!

Idiot!

Who's ever just in the neighborhood?

Nobody, that's who.

Yeah, I was totally in your neighborhood because I drove myself here.

If Jennie finds my reason convoluted she doesn't act like she does. "I'm glad you were. Do you want to come in for a bit?"

Yes!

Because I want you to want me.

Remember?

I sang that to you.

I'd love you to love me.

Remember that too?

Holy crap my mind is going wonky.

"Sure, that sounds great," I tell Jennie as I step inside her house.

The house she shares with Hanbin.

Gah!

All right stop!

Collaborate and listen.

Ice is back with my brand new invention.

Jisoo Kim if you don't get yourself under control I will be so mad at you!

Who's voice is that?

Jennie leads me to the kitchen.

Something smells really good.

Something besides Jennie of course.

"I was just cooking myself some stir fry. If you haven't eaten there's extra, if you want," Jennie offers.

Due to my anxiety I haven't really eaten a lot today.

"Sure, if it's not a bother," I reply as I remind myself to breathe.

"Great," Jennie says before she scoops out what she cooked on two plates. She hands me some cutlery and we're off again.

Where to now?

Your bedroom perhaps?

Ok, ok, I know that's not realistic.

Excuse me for trying to lighten my mood!

We take a seat in the living room and right as I'm about to speak Jennie stands up. "I forgot drinks, I'll be right back."

As I wait for Jennie to return, my eyes scan the room and when they land on a picture right by the television, I lose my appetite completely.

It's a picture of Hanbin and Jennie.

He's standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her stomach.

And they're both smiling widely for the camera.

Oh god!

It looks just like the picture Bobby gave me from my prom.

Except the roles are reversed.

Jennie was standing behind me.

I thought we looked so cute together.

But now I can't even visualize how we looked because all I see is Jennie and Hanbin.

Jennie and Hanbin.

Fuck!

I can't tell her I'm in love with her when she's with someone else.

Why does she have to be with him?

Why does she have to look so damn happy in that picture?

This was a dumb idea.

Fuck!

Jennie comes back and after she takes a seat, she hands me a can of Coke.

If I wasn't so miserable I'd be happy that she knows exactly what I like to drink.

"This is delicious," I manage to say despite the nausea I feel. "You're a really good cook."

My stomach is churning and my eyes can't seem to stop looking at that damn picture.

Ugh.

Maybe I really was a substitute for Hanbin while he was in New York.

Dinner passes in a haze as I get more and more down about the situation I'm in.

I love a girl who loves another.

Sigh.

How did I end up here anyway?

How did I end up feeling so crappy about me and Jennie when days ago I was so sure of our connection?

Jennie clears the plates from the dinner I didn't even get to enjoy and then it's just the two of us.

On her couch.

With no distractions and nowhere to go.

"Did you have enough?" Jennie asks. She's sitting with her back against the armrest and her knees are pressed against her chest.

Normally I'd find that question sweet, but tonight I don't.

Rose was right, and I would have loved to take her advice but seeing that picture changed my plans.

I thought I could handle what being in love came with.

But the rejection I could face if I bring my feelings up is not something I think I can handle.

Being rejected by Jennie would devastate me.

On the other hand, feeling this crappy is not something I want either.

Sigh.

I don't know what to do.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I reply quietly. I gaze at Jennie wanting so badly to tell her everything I feel for her but something else comes out instead. "Are you mad at me?"

Ok, not exactly what I had in mind but maybe this is the best way to start a dialogue between us.

"Of course I'm not," Jennie replies quickly. "Why would you think that?"

Oh, I don't know.

Perhaps because you have done everything in your power to not see me these past three days.

Perhaps because we're sitting closely on this couch but I feel so very far apart from you.

Perhaps because my heart, the one that loves you so very much, is aching right now.

Perhaps because I don't have the faintest idea what I could have done to make you want to avoid me.

I shrug my shoulders but I keep a smile on my face. "I feel like we haven't really talked since Disneyland and I don't really know why."

Do I sound pathetic?

I hope not.

"Don't be ridiculous," Jennie says as she moves closer to me. "I've just been really busy, that's all." She reaches over and takes my hand. "You haven't done anything for me to get mad at."

I don't believe her.

I don't believe she was busy.

She may appear to be fine, but her eyes, those beautiful brown eyes tell a different story.

Why is she lying to me?

I thought we'd established trust.

I guess I thought wrong.

And why is she touching me?

Does she realize that when she does, she makes my pulse race and my insides tingle?

"Are you sure?" I inquire passive aggressively. "Because if there is, I would hope you'd be able to tell me."

"I'm sure," Jennie takes a deep breath like she's trying to work up the nerve to tell me something important. "Jisoo, I..." her voice trails off as she looks down at the ground. "I promise you I'm not upset," she finishes with her eyes downcast.

Yup, that confirms it.

She's lying.

If she wasn't she'd be able to look me in the eye.

Right?

"Ok, just checking," I whisper as I let go of her hand.

I can't be this close to Jennie when I feel like she's not being truthful with me.

Jennie seems surprised by what I just did, but she doesn't ask me why I let go.

We're so kick ass at this communication thing.

If communicating were an Olympic sport, we'd totally get a gold medal.

Gotta love sarcasm.

Jennie slides back to her earlier position. "I was just about to watch a movie, if you're interested?"

I shouldn't.

Not when I feel like this.

Not when my insides hurt.

"Yeah sure, that sounds like fun," I lie. "Hey, if you're not busy tomorrow night, Bobby, Rose and I are going to the opening of a new club."

At least I got that out.

Yeah, like that was the most important thing on my mind when I came over here.

Jennie stares at me for what feels like forever before answering. "Sure."

"Great," I reply.

Woo, we've progressed all the way to one-word answers.

Score!

Jennie starts the movie and the silence that descends on us isn't comforting anymore.

It's deafening.

The silence is screaming for us to talk openly and honestly with each other.

I think I've made enough first moves and done enough for Jennie to know where I'm at.

It's her turn now.

I need her to show me something besides small gestures before I open up to her.

Call me a chicken that's fine.

But that's what I need.

I fake being interested in the movie because lord knows I can't concentrate on it.

All I'm thinking about is Jennie.

And for whatever reason, I don't think Jennie's really concentrating all that hard either.

•••

I feel really hot.

Like, inferno hot.

Why is that?

And also, I think I feel asleep during the movie.

I think that because my eyes are closed.

Yeah, I'm a regular Rhodes Scholar.

I slowly open my eyes and when they come into focus, I gasp.

I know why I feel so hot.

Holy shit!

It looks like Jennie fell asleep too and somehow I ended up on top of her.

Holy shit!

My face is hovering over hers.

My arms are right by her head.

And our legs, oh god, our legs are tangled together.

I should move.

Really I should.

This is not a good position to be in.

Ok, ok, it's a fantastic position to be in but not when Jennie and I have entered such murky waters.

We really need to talk.

Or at the very least we need to not be so damn close together.

How can I be expected to control myself when I'm on top of her?

It would require super human strength if you ask me.

Jennie's eyes flutter open right as I'm about to get off of her.

Oh damn.

That doesn't help this situation at all.

At all!

"What's going on?" Jennie husks out. She shifts a bit and that causes me to press my body even further into her.

Oh god!

This feels so good!

"We fell asleep," I explain.

Maybe our subconscious gave us exactly what our conscious mind isn't ready to express yet.

She looks absolutely beautiful.

Her eyes aren't showing any kind of confusion, they're showing me desire.

Hot damn!

I'm not super human.

So instead of getting up, I press my lips against hers.

Oh god!

I can't believe I've gone six days without kissing her.

How did I possibly manage that when kissing her feels so incredible?

My mouth moves slowly against hers.

Until Jennie pushes herself up against me.

Oh god!

I suck on her bottom lip but right before I deepen the kiss, I pull back.

I shouldn't have kissed her.

Not when I have the doubts that I do.

Not when I feel like we've taken gigantic steps backwards from where we were a few days ago.

I have to be strong.

I find the strength to stand up even though my legs feel shaky. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," I regrettably say with my back to Jennie . "I should go and..."

I don't have the chance to finish my sentence because Jennie takes hold of my hand and yanks me back on the couch.

Without any hesitation she cups my face and kisses me.

Oh god!

She's kissing me so fucking hard.

Our lips instantly part.

Our tongues meet like they're old friends.

And our bodies crash together like they can't stand to be even an inch away from each other.

I changed my mind.

Talking is so overrated.

Jennie pushes me on my back as our kissing intensifies.

I tangle my hand in her hair.

She does the same.

Oh god!

I don't even notice that Jennie's other hand is moving under my shirt until it reaches just below my bra.

Jennie's hand is by my bra!

Yes!

Go higher!

Jennie breaks our kiss momentarily but her mouth is very quickly back on mine.

We're kissing so hungrily I can hardly breathe.

She grinds into me and I moan into her mouth.

I should be taking more of a lead here but I'm enjoying what Jennie's doing to me too much to really care.

Jennie's hand moves over my breast causing me to pull away from her.

I'm gasping for air.

She doesn't give me any time to recover before she's sucking on my neck.

Right where I love to be sucked.

I moan so fucking loud I'm sure the neighbors hear me.

I could care less though.

"Oh god," I breathe out as I wrap one of my legs around her waist. "Oh god, don't stop, please."

I seriously might die if she does.

Jennie doesn't, thankfully, and our bodies continue to rock together.

I have to kiss her again.

It's simply a must.

I yank Jennie back to my mouth and tilt my head to get more of her.

It's not enough though.

I don't think I'll ever get enough of her

Jennie sits us up as her hand goes to my other breast.

Oh god!

I'm very turned on.

I don't know how much more I can take.

My theory is about to be tested because Jennie is tugging at the hem of my shirt.

Oh god!

I couldn't stop Jennie even if I wanted to.

Which I don't.

My shirt is up, over my head and flung somewhere across the room in a flash.

She works very fast.

Jennie pulls me back to her and our mouths are once again moving furiously against each other.

I'm so close, you have no idea.

I feel Jennie hand on the back of my bra and I'm fairly certain she's about to take it off.

Oh god!

This is so amaz...

"Hey, Jen, I'm home."

Jennie and I break apart instantly.

We're both panting and her eyes are as panic stricken as I feel.

Fuck!

Shit!

Damn!

D.B. is back!

Fuck!

Shit!

Damn!

I'm in his house.

I just made out with his girlfriend.

And I have no shirt on.

We are so screwed!

Not in the way that involves Jennie and I being naked either!

Fuck!

Shit!

Damn!

How in the world am I going to get out of this one?

———————————————

Well on the bright side...we got another hot jensoo make out sesh

ANNNDD HERE'S ANOTHER UPDATE BECAUSE I OWE YOU ALL

SORRY FOR DYING 😛