Chapter 52 ∣  Life Comes Through Death

-Maverick

I'd never felt so helpless or broken in my entire life than when I was left staring at the closed door to the room that was being used to help deliver the child Eris was carrying. She'd gone into premature labor, forced to stay outside while my mother and grandmother were within the room helping Lena as best as the could. There was no time to call for any extra-human assistance or to get her to a human hospital. It was here that I was left waiting, glaring at the wooden door that separated the two of us from one another.

Keep her safe...

...just please keep her safe.

"It'll be alright," my father offered me some type of comfort that I couldn't find solace in. He placed a hand on my shoulder from behind, tightening his grip for a moment before letting go entirely.

My grandfather was hesitant, not having spoken a word since we'd rushed Eris away. He leaned quietly against the far wall directly behind me. They weren't the only two waiting...Erebus, Orion, Arlynn, Zak...they all sat by with a very quiet demeanor only speaking to each other in hushed tones or not spoken altogether, using their connection to communicate.

I could hear her heartbeat through the door blocking us...it was erratic, faint, only to speed up once more and slow down again. It was unpredictable and I didn't like not having control over what was happening. I had to stand back and allow others to assist where I could not.

One thought kept running through my mind...

...turn her.

Just attempt to turn Eris. She was suffering, the pain radiating through her body and I only hoped I could take away but the small thought that prevented me from rushing through those doors was...what if it didn't work?

I made a promise to her.

The doors burst open and my attention blindly shifted away from the door and landed on Lucette. Her eyes were frantically searching the room and found me in an instant. Rook wasn't far behind her, seeking Erebus while my sister ran toward me. It only took her a few strides before she threw her arms around my neck and pulled me close to her.

"Are you okay? What's happening?" Lucette asked with an edge to her voice, both of us pulling away from one another reluctantly as I needed someone to lean on for once in my life. When I lifted my gaze from hers, Rook had reached his father, whispering something into his ear that I didn't catch. A dark look crossed his face from what he had spoken but he said nothing, reverting his attention to Orion as the three of them looked off toward Lucette and me.

I nodded and replied, "She's stable right now," I paused a moment and exhaled a deep breath, "I just don't know how long this is supposed to take..."

Lucette's eyes were glassy, tears filling them in the next moment. When I asked her, "Lucette? Are you okay?" She didn't respond, almost as if her words were caught in her throat as she drew calming breaths. Nothing appeared to be working as she finally let the tears fall from her eyes.

"Hunny?" My father appeared to be distressed over the way Lucette had drastically changed her features. She shook her head and pulled out of my arms, stepping back away from our father and wrapping her arms around herself. Almost as if Rook knew something I didn't, he walked up behind her, holding her close to him as he also exhaled a rattled breath. His muscles tensed, burying his face into the crook of her neck.

"Lu-" my father was interrupted the second the doors opened for a second time, my gaze landing on a very pregnant Tamsin followed behind Micah. His eyes averted from everyone's, standing off to the side and to himself while Tamsin walked toward me slowly.

When she was within arms reach she stopped, her eyes gazing up at me as she asked, "Is she okay?"

"I-I'm not sure..." it was the truth because I had no idea what was happening behind that closed door. Aside from a scream of pain and crying every now and then, I refrained from trying to do something I knew I would regret. The look on her face almost broke me, seeing tears glistening in those eyes of hers for the sympathy she held for me was heartbreaking.

"She should be fine," Tamsin attempted to reassure me, but it was hard for her to convince herself as well, "the doctor knows what they're doing."

I nodded, Tamsin stepping forward and embracing me in a tight hug. I held myself back a bit, allowing for her growing belly to not press hard against my abdomen. She held me close, a soft and almost inaudible sob leaving her lips. When she pulled away from me, she couldn't look me in the eye, turning away and walking toward where Micah stood silently.

Nothing is for certain...

Nothing is promised...

Before I could say another word, the door opened to the room Eris was in. When I turned back, Lena was standing just within the door frame, the white gown she wore had blood on it, my heart skipping a beat when I saw the gloves she wore were also soiled. Through the mask she wore on her face, she stated, "I need one answer."

"Wh-What?" I asked, unsure of exactly where she was going with this.

Lena's hard stare behind that mask held an emotionless tone as she said, "The mother and child's life are in danger," she paused a moment and I heard people around the room lifting from their chairs, edging toward me as she finished, "you need to pick one."

There was a split second where the thought flashed through my mind that...this child is the potential cause of my beloved's untimely death...but I threw that away the second it entered my mind. Instead, I felt nothing. Every muscle in my body wouldn't respond as my chest tightened at her words, hurt spreading through me. I wanted to move, to believe what she was saying isn't true, but I was grounded to the spot.

"I need an answer now or you're going to lose them both," Lena's harsh words brought me back to reality.

"Can't you use any of our blood?" My grandfather's frustrated voice cut through hard.

My father narrowed his eyes and also added, "We can heal her...stop lying about things you don't know vampires can do...especially purebloods."

Lena didn't hold a negative look when she glanced at them and instead stated, "The mother refuses."

"Bullshit!" My father edged closer, the control over his actions much stronger than my own, remaining tethered to the spot. He growled with irritation, his black rose irises holding Lena's gaze. She didn't appear frightened by his advance and apparently didn't care about his anger either, standing her ground as she just stared back at him.

Eris would...

My voice was quiet when I finally spoke, "Eris wants a normal life..." my voice trailed off and everyone turned to stare at me, including my father, "...she wants a normal death...meaning she won't take our blood. However..." I breathed out and steady my erratic heart, "...we made a promise, that I could only attempt to turn her when she was about to die."

"She doesn't have to be 'about to die'," my father continued, not understanding what Eris wants. I didn't even understand what she wanted, knowing now that it was selfish for me to have Rook brought her back in the first place.

I only ever cared about what I wanted and put that above everything else. I'm listening to her now...even if it hurts me, I have to respect the decision she wants to make. I won't take that away from her again for my petty needs. She's always been the only one I've ever loved truly like this...how madly, deeply I fell in love with her only to want it to be eternal.

Eris wants control, she wants to do this on her terms and I have to let her make that choice...

"Save the child..." the words were the hardest I've ever spoken, the pain in my heart growing as Lena immediately turned on her heels and walked back into the room, the door shutting behind her. It felt like a hand was clutching my heart for the second time, knowing I could possibly save her...yet she wouldn't allow it. It was almost like losing her all over again...but she wouldn't let me take the pain away and save her.

I couldn't save her last time and I can't save her this time.

I'm weak for promising what I did, but I wanted her to live as she wanted to...I can't be selfish, I can't do that again for me and for her.

Everyone around me was talking loudly at one another, arguments rising up within my family and it was Lucette who I could only hear through the mess. She was crying, the tears coming quicker down her cheeks as she clutched onto Rook as if he were her lifeline. No one understood the decision I had to make here was far harder than the one with the werewolves, far harder than the one I had to make when Eris' demon was killing everyone she could get her hands on. This hurt was unlike anything and I didn't want to feel the loss again...

...but that wasn't my choice to make.

Heartbeats...loud and thumping in my ears as they escalated through the barrier of the door. Five, five beating with strength however, one continued to flicker in and out and I didn't know which one it belonged to...not until I heard the cry of a baby.

I couldn't do this any longer. Pushing away from the spot I stood glued to, I flung open the door and rushed in, followed by my father, grandfather, and Lucette. It was my grandmother that halted anyone else from entering, keeping them at bay as others wanted to move through the open door frame.

Everything appeared to be going in slow motion. My mother held a small bundle in her arms wrapped in a white towel with blood splotches everywhere. Cries came from the little being she held in her arms, her eyes filled with tears as she couldn't stop them from falling down her cheeks. Lena was standing off to the foot of the bed, setting down different pieces of equipment while my little vixen laid broken just under the covers. I could smell all the blood, concealed by those covers and I knew by the faint flickering of her heartbeat that she was fighting with all she had left.

Her eyelids were half-open, her body pale and almost ashen in appearance. As I moved closer to her side, her gaze had trouble following mine. Her arms rested on the covers, the fragile woman I have always loved teetering on the line between life and death.

"We could have saved her!" My father growled angrily at Lena as she ignored him, knowing the only people who had any say in the decision were myself and Eris. My mother attempted to hush the baby, crying softly in the distance as my grandfather edged toward her. They all argued once again, the sound drowning out in the background when I focused all my attention on my love.

"Hello sweetheart," I kept my voice even, one of my hands cupping her cheek while my thumb brushed the skin delicately. Her stare was glassy, almost as if she were staring directly through me. With my free hand, I gently took hers into mine and just held her quietly. Her eyes slowly shifted upward to lock with mine, her chest rising and falling erratically.

Her voice was strained and very soft as she whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too my little vixen," I brushed away a tear that escaped her eyes, unable to brush away my own. I drew my lips into a tight line, fighting off the sting coming from the bridge of my nose as she stared up at me with so much sadness, but also a sense of calm and peace. When I spoke again, I lowered my face closer to hers and whispered, "You're going to be alright my love..." my voice trailed off.

Sadness filled her eyes again and her heart rate dropped drastically as the meter she was connected to reflect the change which every vampire could sense. Her voice was very quiet when she replied, "You kept your promise..." her voice trailed off, finding it hard for herself to tilt her face away from mine and expose the soft flesh of her neck to me. I could hardly hear her now that she was facing away from me when she finished, "I'll keep mine."

To turn her...

I could already feel the shift in my irises, knowing they now held the reflection of a black rose, my fangs lengthening at her words. My hand left hers, my touch shifting as I went to move toward her but froze when I heard Lucette yelling at me, "No!"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, especially when my father disagreed with his daughter for once in our lives and snarled, "Don't stop him from saving her."

"He's not saving her!" Lucette moved quickly across the room, her fingers wrapping into the fabric of my shirt before she pulled me from the bed and threw me against the wall. Every fiber in my being came alive and I attempted to throw her off of me. Lucette's irises had shifted as well, her stance shifting as she pressed back harder against me.

I wildly screamed at her, "Lucette!? What the fucking hell?!" I worked my arms up, trying to move my way around the lock she had on my upper arms. She wouldn't back down, she wasn't joking and instead, was very much preventing me from advancing and saving my beloved. When she didn't move, I began to grow frantic and brought my knee up from the side and cracked it against her hip. She hardly flinched when we both heard the bone break, her eyes lifting to meet with mine as tears continued to cascade down her cheeks.

"No, Maverick, no," she continued to say, attempting to gather her thoughts and to form a sentence that came out as, "You're not saving her...you're going to kill her."

"You don't know that!" I snarled back, finally working one of my arms out of her grasp and twisting one of her arms away from my body. She didn't stop though, trying to fight me back and that's when I harshly drew her arm up and shattered her collarbone. She gasped, crying out in pain but the determination on her face wouldn't allow her to stagger back or show weakness.

Rook tried to move through and past my grandmother, but she wouldn't let him aid Lucette. Her breathing was uneven just as Eris' heartbeat was and when she finally spoke, I felt like my heart had been torn from my chest, "I saw it...your bite kills her. You are the cause of her death..." her voice trailed off as I slowly loosened my grip on her, "I can't allow you to live with yourself for the actions you were about to make. Please Maverick...you can't live with that...please..." she pleaded with me, my arms falling away from her as she finally staggered back away.

My father caught Lucette and helped her to the end of the hospital bed, my grandmother allowing for Rook only to enter into the room and wrap Lucette into his arms. The blood rushing through my ears was the only thing I could hear along with the slowly fading heartbeat of Eris. Walking as if in a trance, I came to the side of her bed once again, reaching my hand out and touching her chin.

Delicately, I brought her gaze back to meet with mine. Tears were in her eyes, her eyes finding mine as I lowered myself to sit beside her. I shook my head as if the argument against Lucette's vision was a lie...but I knew all her visions came to pass. She stepped in though...not wanting me to decide Eris' fate when it was already sealed by another.

You can't cheat death twice.

This was our final goodbye and I didn't know if I'd be strong enough to tell her everything I wanted to...but I tried, "I wanted you to see the world...I wanted to watch our child grow together and revel in the memories we would create together as a family. I wanted our love to be everything that we needed, but it wasn't enough...I wanted to see the years drift by and enjoy every second of it with you...you are my everything Eris..."

My voice trailed off as the tears finally fell completely freely down my face. Her hand lifted shakily from the bed and touched mine. I interlaced my fingers with her own and continued through the watery voice I held, "You made me a better person...you saw what others couldn't. You didn't care about my past...only the future. That's all I wanted, a future with you. I never thought I'd get a second chance and I did...I only wish it wasn't wasted so soon..."

"You're an ass-hat..." Eris smiled slowly as her voice held a gentle whisper. I couldn't help but chuckle through my tears as she continued, "I love you...I always have and I always will...I'll be here with you always...please tell her that I love her."

My heart stopped when I asked with confusion, "H-H-Her?"

My mother's voice broke through when she said, "You're a father to a beautiful baby girl, Mav."

"Her?" Was all I could say again, hardly believing that I really was a father...and I was about to lose the love of my life. Eris' heartbeat skipped once again, flickering in and out as her grip on my hand loosened. It became nonexistence as her breathing became uneven, her eyelids slowly shutting as pain gripped her being.

"Eris?" I asked frantically.

She didn't respond, tears falling faster as I cried out again, "ERIS?!" I didn't need the machine to tell me that she'd flat-lined, her chest falling for the last time as the beating of her heart ceased to exist. I shook my head and cried again, "No, no, no, no..." I cupped her cheeks in my hands and bent lower to her lips, capturing hers in my own and wishing with everything that I could be the one to take her place.

My breath was shaky when I pulled my lips away from hers, tears falling onto her cheeks as her lifeless body lay before me. I was finding it hard to breathe, my eyes searching her features as she remained silent. I cried again, "Eris...please..."

Arms wrapped around my back and I heard Lucette crying, not able to say anything but just holding me. I couldn't look away from her....because if I did it would make everything else all too real. I broke completely, my cheek falling against her chest as I cried, unable to control myself any longer knowing that she's gone and I can't bring her back. I can't do anything...

However, the second I heard a different cry break through my hysteria surrounding me, I slowly lifted my head. Lucette's arms fell away from me and I tried to pull myself back up and together, turning to see my mother through blurry eyes as she held my daughter in her arms.

My daughter...

I'm a father...

When my mother handed me, my daughter, gently cradling her in my arms I saw her for the first time. My eyes gazed down at the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen. She had a small head of ebony hair, striking white irises gazing up at me as she blinked between cries. She was so tiny, so fragile, but she calmed gradually as I hushed and rocked her in my arms.

I'm not the only one who lost someone they loved...

She just lost her mother...

She'd never know her mother...

"Hello, baby girl," my voice held a tone I'd never known before, gently rocking her as she gradually stopped crying. It's as if the world around the two of us didn't exist and I wanted to stare at her for so long because she looked just like her mother. I never thought I'd be blessed to have a child...let alone a beautiful baby girl.

My mother smiled through her own tears next to me and asked, "What are you going to name her?"

My eyes fell away from my daughter for a moment, glancing at my love's lifeless body. The tears came back fast and I had to pull my gaze away before I could break again. I couldn't now, not for this little girl, I had to be strong for her because she'd ask one day about her mother and I couldn't allow myself to fall apart for her.

Just when I thought she was everything like her mother, a small coo and giggle surpassed her lips