November, 2022

real life

August looked out at the crowd in Paris, her grin splitting her face brightly. Her cheeks hurt from smiling so much that night, and her face was wet from perspiration and possibly tears. She was breathing heavily from the last song that had taken a lot of effort with so many high notes and a pretty cool guitar solo from her second album that had come out earlier in the year.

The whole crowd was cheering loudly, her heart was practically drumming in her ears. She took out her ear monitors for a second, focusing solely on the sound of clapping hands and screaming fans. It was more than she could have ever asked for.

This... this was euphoria.

This was the last show of her first ever tour. She was constantly shaking with nerves and excitement and even then, she loved every moment of it. She couldn't stop herself from bouncing on her toes every once in a while.

Finally, taking in a shaky breath, she flicked her specially made tour pick with her name engraved in it at the crowd, watching as a young teen in the pit caught it and held it up in the air excitedly. August laughed into the microphone, stepping back to remove the guitar strap from around her shoulders. She handed the cherry red instrument back to one of the tech guys who ran off stage with it, and walked back over to the mic stand.

"Wow, Paris," she breathed out into the microphone, her voice wavering just a little bit, so full of emotions. "Vous êtes incroyable! Merci beaucoup!"

She cleared her throat, the crowd going crazy as she spoke in French. She had a small accent when she used her French, but they all ate it up anyway.

She grabbed the microphone, releasing it from the clamps and walked back a little, taking advantage of the spacious stage.

"Putain, je ne sais plus vraiment quoi dire de plus," she spoke softly, expressing her speechlessness to her fans.

[translation: fuck, I don't know what else to say.]

"I love you guys. Thank you," she continued in English. The show was being filmed and though she enjoyed brushing up on her second language, it was best she didn't use it for the whole show.

"Uhm, we've still got one more song for you before we head on home. This one is from the first album," August explained as the thousands of fans quieted down to hear her. "Back when the world was in a state of chaos... I'm not sure it's doing any better now, actually, but hey, at least we get to be here tonight, right?"

August chuckled softly as the crowd laughed at her joke and cheered loudly.

"In the spirit of being with you all tonight, I would just like to share my sentiments with you guys, that, should the world go to shit again, I'm so glad I got to know ya. I'm yours forever... till forever falls apart."

The fans went crazy, screaming their lungs out as August's band started playing the melody to the song.

She closed her eyes, fitting in just one of her ear monitors back in, unable to stop herself from grinning so wide, knowing just what was coming next.

She started singing but over the sound of her fans' voices, she could barely even hear herself.

She stopped at the pre-chorus, an excited laugh bubbling out of her chest as the crowd sang for her, only belting out her own lyrics during the chorus.

Till forever falls apart...

The bend extended the instrumental bit for a few seconds this time, allowing August some time to talk to the crowd and introduce her guest performer.

"Paris, please give a warm welcome to the incredible Dorothea Grey!"

Of course, by that point, everyone knew who Dorothea was and the blonde stepped onto the stage, a microphone in one hand and using the other to wave at the crowd who had never cheered so loud yet. It made August's head fall back with laughter.

Taylor was dressed in a pair of striped trousers that August was pretty sure she herself had bought last summer and a simple white blouse tucked in, with her hair falling in waves down her back, quite the contrast to the glittery jumpsuit August was clad in. Her outfit went with the theme of her second studio album which had quite a hit of 70s and 80s vibes to it. But Taylor's was casual and beautiful. And still, they looked amazing together on stage, performing together for the first time in a long while.

The last time they shared a stage, they ended up confessing their love for each other.

As Taylor began singing, she turned to face her girlfriend and started walking toward her. August held out her hand and as they reached the pre-chorus where they would be harmonising together, their fingers laced and Taylor squeezed August's hand twice before letting go.

They were both quite keen on moving a lot as they sang. But the entire time they sang together, August's eyes never once left Taylor's ocean blues.

Taylor was relaxed and beaming at her girl. She wasn't supposed to have been there. But seeing as it was August's last show, she took a last-minute trip to Paris and surprised August during soundcheck. It was decided in the moment that Taylor would come on stage at the very end and sing with her. After having been apart for weeks, they were both currently in heaven.

As they got to the bridge, Taylor's expression turned more serious as she sang August's lyrics. Till death do us part.

They both meant it.

The high note in the end had them with their backs turned to each other, leaning as far back as they could to hit it just right and the crowd was screaming louder than August had ever heard them scream in the past couple of months. Her heart was beating right out of her chest.

She turned back around, leaving only a few inches between her and Taylor as she promised her, that I'll be yours forever till forever falls apart.

When the song finally ended, the two singers were deafened by the sound of all the screaming fans before them. Taylor breathed out a laugh, finally catching her breath.

"Come here," she mouthed, opening her arms wide and August didn't hesitate. She collapsed in the older girl's arms hugging her close.

"I'm so, so, so, proud of you," Taylor whispered in her ear, only for August to hear those words.

August felt her vision blurring with tears and she buried her face in Taylor's neck, inhaling her sweet, flowery perfume. She loved that smell so much. She was overstimulated by everything that had happened that night and being in Taylor's arms grounded her. For a second, she forgot all about the thousand pairs of eyes on them. She forgot about the cameras zooming in on them. She was only aware of Taylor's presence. She could only hear Taylor's soft and steady breathing. And she could only squeeze the blonde tighter.

They finally pulled apart soon enough as the band played the outro song.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Taylor cried into her microphone, motioning with her hand in August's direction. "August James!"

August grinned at Taylor, opening both arms in her direction, showing her off to the world. "Miss Taylor Fucking Swift!"

Taylor's let out a loud laugh at the inside joke that surprised everyone and August burst out in giggles at the sound that brought a small red blush to Taylor's cheeks.

"Merci, Paris! A bientôt!"

They walked backstage hand in hand and as soon as they were out of the public's eyes and ears in August's dressing room, Taylor pushed the younger girl against the wall and kissed her senseless. She peppered August's face with kisses, not caring that she was a complete sweaty and tear-eyed mess. August was giggling, settling her hands on Taylor's hips and trying to push her away or to at least get a proper kiss. But she also really wanted to  change out of her clothes and wash her face. She still had to meet a few fans.

"I love you," Taylor said, pecking August's lips one last time.

"I love you more," August whispered back, beaming at her girlfriend.

"No, no," Taylor shook her head, taking a step back to look at August properly. "Shit, I was so close to doing this right there on stage."

"They already know we're dating, even if we haven't officially confirmed it," August said with a light chuckle, thinking Taylor had meant kissing her.

They'd been caught going out hand-in-hand quite a lot, but there weren't any more accidental incidents of them making out in public. They were much more comfortable in the safety of their own home they had realised after that one incident last year. They never denied any allegations though, which meant most of the people who followed celebrity news figured they were together. For the most part, since they were careful, people had been respectful. At least, in real life. The internet was a different world that they both tried to avoid as much as possible.

"Yeah," Taylor chuckled softly, her voice growing more quiet. "No, Auggie. I want to— I've never done this before so bare with me for a second."

August furrowed her eyebrows confusedly. She really needed to change her clothes and get to the room where her fans were waiting to take pictures with her but this seemed important to Taylor. Her eyes were focused on August's hand in hers, calloused fingers tracing nervously around the back.

"Tay, what's going on?"

"I love you," Taylor said and August chuckled again, still frowning.

"I know," August murmured. "I love you too. Is everything okay?"

Taylor nodded.

"You're not leaving me again, are you?" August joked and Taylor's head snapped eyes, her eyes meeting August's with no hint of playfulness whatsoever.

"Never," Taylor said definitively. "Till death do us part."

"What?" August chuckled.

"We've been together for almost two years and every single day, August, I fall more and more in love with you. I don't know how you did it but, you're basically my whole life now. I'm just— holy shit, for a songwriter, I suck at finding my words," Taylor stopped herself, letting out a small laugh through her nose. "August, I wanna spend forever with you."

August watched as Taylor dug her hand into the pocket of her pants and pulled out a small, almost invisible band. She had to squint to see it. It was a gold string tied into a small ring.

Taylor was smiling sheepishly. "All along, there was some invisible strings tying you to me."

"Taylor..." August whispered, staring at the small ring made of golden yarn.

"Mhm?"

"Are you—" she really hoped she wasn't reading the situation wrong. The butterflies in her stomach were going crazy and her heart seemed like it had stopped beating. Her voice wavered as she finally asked. "Are you proposing?"

"I am," Taylor said softly.

August's eyes moved from Taylor's nimble fingers holding the small string carefully and met Taylor's gaze. She cupped the singer's face in her hands and kissed her softly, lovingly. When August pulled away, she was still at a loss for words.

"I know this is probably not an easy decision for you to make," Taylor told her, swallowing hard. "After everything that's happened in your past. So, no matter your answer, I want you to know I love you and I'll respect your decision. You can take all the time you nee—"

"Yes."

"W-what?"

August's face broke into a grin and she nodded. "Yes."

She never thought she would ever get married again. In fact, after her divorce had been finalised, she had vowed to never let anyone else in her life like that.

But then she met Taylor. And she knew all along that she would be tied to her. Their fates were intertwined. Bound together by that gold string.

"You— you want to marry me?"

"Taylor, I've already told you I want forever with you. I'd marry you right now with this ring made of string. And I'd marry you tomorrow with paper rings," she said, coyly referring to one of Taylor's older songs, making the blonde roll her eyes. "I love you."

"Holy shit, I love you too," Taylor exclaimed excitedly, letting out a sigh of relief. August laughed softly at her reaction as Taylor held out the piece string and grabbed August's hand to slip it around her ring finger.

"You're such a dork," August laughed, closing the distance between them once again. "This definitely beats that cheap diamond ring that ended up at the bottom the Hudson."

"Oof, did it, really?"

August cringed at her younger self. She could've sold that ring and bought herself a pretty expensive guitar, or done the less petty thing and given it back to her ex. But in a moment of fury, she had tossed it into the river and thinking back, she wanted to laugh about it.

"I do like it a lot better than Joe's grandma's ring, too," Taylor chuckled. "I had to return that one."

"Good, or this would have been awkward," August joked and Taylor giggled, kissing her again.

"Which is why, I also made this," Taylor continued, pulling out another one from her pocket. She slipped it onto her own ring finger and August then held her hand against Taylor's, admiring them together. Her heart fluttered.

"I did also get you an actual ring, by the way," Taylor mentioned, wrapping her arms around August's waist. "But it's still being engraved."

August squeezed Taylor's hand, pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles. "I think this one might be my favourite," August said. "I will cry if I ever lose it."

"I have a whole yarn ball back at home. I'll make you a thousand rings," Taylor promised her and August beamed, kissing her passionately.

"I'm so in love with you," August murmured against her lips, only for a knock to come at her door.

"Miss James, it's time!"

August groaned, pulling away from her girlfriend— fiancée.

She liked the sound of that.

She got changed into a pair of jeans and her merch hoodie pretty fast, leaving a quick kiss on Taylor's cheek and promising her the best night of her life once they were alone back at the hotel. Taylor rolled her eyes at August and pushed her out into the hall.

August couldn't stop grinning even for a second as she met her fans, hugging them and taking pictures with them. Some of them who had less shame than normal people mentioned the ring made of yarn, conveniently placed on the fourth finger of her left hand. August only responded with, 'oh yeah, I'm engaged,' in a playful tone. But oh, little did they know...

August and Taylor got no sleep that night. They were a giggling mess well into the first shades of sunlight when they finally passed out of exhaustion. August was supposed to be on a plane back to California to see her family after a few weeks. But she did have a pretty long break for the holidays. She didn't have any commitments. None except for Taylor. So, they had decided to stay in Paris for a few more days. Just them and Greg, who probably did not appreciate sleeping in the room right next to theirs.

They spent their days roaming the snippy autumn streets of Paris, visiting museums and parks and landmarks and their nights celebrating their engagement with their good friend Dom Perignon and some dinner.

On their fourth day in the city, Taylor told August she had a special place she wanted to visit. She wouldn't tell her what it was.

August followed her around blindly, just happy to be there with her. It was about eight o'clock on Saturday evening when they walked into an art gallery.

August was surprised to find Andrea there. "What is this?" She asked Taylor who smiled softly at her. She did dress up a lot better than she had the past couple days. Actually, she was mostly in her underwear except for when she wore the same old pair of jeans and sweatshirt when they went out.

"A secret show," Taylor said casually. August finally spotted the small area in the back that had a guitar, a microphone, and a piano. In fact, it was Taylor's beloved black Gibson acoustic.

"Since when?" August gasped softly, only just realising that they had walked in through the back door. There was another one that had dozens of people waiting outside in the cold.

"A few weeks ago," Taylor chuckled, walking over toward the tiny make-shift stage. There wasn't even a platform. Only a navy blue carpet.

"And you didn't tell me because...?"

"I wanted to surprise you here!" Taylor said as though that was obvious.

August shook her head at her before sitting down in one of the many chairs available. The fans started milling in until the room was full. It looked like it could only fit about a hundred people, but there was probably around two hundred, maybe a little more.

Taylor played a variety of her best songs from all her albums. Focusing more on the last three she had put out (not counting the re-recordings). Those albums hadn't gotten their own tours.

"Wow, this is really so cozy," Taylor said about thirty minutes in, unbuttoning her cardigan and slipping it off. She handed it over to Greg who was standing a few feet away, keeping an eye on everything. August felt a little bad for him having to stand there awkwardly, holding his boss's sweater so she motioned for him to hand it over and with a quick relieved look, he did. August chuckled, stuffing the cardigan into her tote bag.

"We love you!" A fan called out as Taylor sat at the piano and took a sip of her water. She scrunched her nose at the fan, giving her a thumbs up.

There was another fan that squealed so loud, it made Taylor jump and almost choke on her water. August snorted, so glad this secret show was being filmed.

Taylor burst out laughing, tapping her chest as she placed the bottle onto the floor next to her.

"I love you too," she finally said.

The small audience was still laughing. That same fan squealed out, "Oh my god!"

And Taylor grinned cheekily, responding with, "Yeah? I'm right here!"

Fucking hell, this was the girl August had decided to marry.

"Jesus, Taylor," Andrea sighed under her breath and August nudged her shoulder lightly.

"At least you don't have to hear those jokes every day," August responded making the blonde's mom fight off a smile.

"Honey, I've been hearing them for thirty years," Andrea murmured back and August couldn't help but smile at the thought of listening to Taylor's terrible sense of humour for another thirty years. It sounded amazing.

Everyone in the small crowd was laughing. August had never seen Taylor this comfortable in public. She was in her element. She was so happy for her. Seeing her smile so big made her heart feel full.

"This is what I love about little gigs like this," Taylor said, adjusting the microphone at the piano. Her fingers fell on the black and white keys, playing absentmindedly a progression she always played first as an unconscious warm-up, August had come to realise over the years.

"It's so intimate," Taylor said, laughing softly. "Uhm, this next song, is also a very intimate song. You know, I wrote it, uhm... a few years ago. At a very different time in my life. Sometimes you write a song, and then a lot of things happen, and your life changes, and you realise you no longer relate to the song. And other times, maybe the meaning of the song changes to you. And, I mean, that's the beauty of songwriting. Every song can mean a thousand different things to different people. But also, it can mean something different to the same