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tomorrow's my first official day at my new job so heres a tiny present<3

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text messages

Tay 💜
i think i might have fucked up

Gigi 💗
good morning to you too, baby

Gigi 💗
What's uuuuppp


Tay 💜
How's Khai?

Gigi 💗
Khai's doing fantastic, thank you for asking! Now, what did you do?


Tay 💜
And how's Zayn coping as a dad?

Gigi 💗
Amazing. Not surprising. He's great

Gigi 💗
so, again, what did you do?



Tay 💜
And how are you feeling?

Gigi 💗
Haven't slept in weeks but we viiibe

Gigi 💗
NOW WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO


Tay 💜
So I'm in Nashville

Gigi 💗
You're in Nashville?


Tay 💜
Yep

Gigi 💗
wait back up

Gigi 💗
when the fuck did you get to Nashville?


Tay 💜
about two weeks ago

Gigi 💗
you've been in Nashville for two weeks? 😭 bestieeee


Tay 💜
I know

Gigi 💗
wait and August is with you?


Tay 💜
No

Gigi 💗
She stayed in New York?


Tay 💜
Yeah

Gigi 💗
So, you're in Nashville, and she's in New York


Tay 💜
Yeah

Gigi 💗
Okay, that's fine

Gigi 💗
I fail to see the issue

Gigi💗
i am so confused right now


Tay 💜
me too

Gigi 💗
taylor honey

Gigi 💗
whats going on?


Tay 💜
I think August and I might have broken up before we were even dating

Gigi 💗
Wait you weren't dating this whole time?

Gigi💗
WAIT YIU BROKE UP?


Tay 💜
No wtf we were just friends

Gigi 💗
Okay uhu friends who made out occasionally


Tay 💜
Yeah, like months into our friendship. And then, I guess, when we moved back to new york it was sort of like unofficially dating but we never really talked about it

Gigi 💗
wait so this whole time, with all that sexual tension, and you never even fucked once? wow


Tay 💜
Gigi 😭

Gigi 💗
What? I'm just saying, you're like pretty strong for holding out 🙏


Tay 💜
i hate you so much

Tay 💜
we did tho

Gigi 💗
HOLD UP WHY AN I JUST HEARING ABOUT THIS


Tay 💜
cuz i dont have to tell you about every single detail of my sex life ?

Gigi 💗
Okay so let me get this straight

Gigi💗
You told me how Ad*m did that thing that one time with that thing... you know the thing


Tay 💜
yeah, fuck you for reminding me 😭

Gigi 💗
my pleasure!

Gigi 💗
And then when you told me about that one time at that one place when everyone was you know and you and you know who did the you know what


Tay💜
OKAY YEAH I REMEMBER SHUT UP NOW WILL YOU?

Gigi 💗
but not this time?


Tay 💜
nopeee

Gigi 💗
huh

Gigi💗
it really mattered to you then, didn't it?



Tay 💜
I was 100% sober, yeah

Gigi 💗
WELL SHIT

Gigi💗
was it good?


Tay 💜
mind blowing

Tay💜
NOW WILL YOU HELP?

Gigi 💗
You still haven't told me what you did dude


Tay 💜
THE FUCKING ANXIETY IS WHAT HAPPENED

Gigi 💗
anxiety about what babe?


Tay 💜
look, after everything that happened with K*rlie , i still had hope that it might still work out the next time. And then the whole thing with Joe happened and I really thought that was going to last, I mean, we really got engaged and everything and them shit went tits up so sudden and you know how that ended. And then, I swear, I thought I was doing better. Everything was starting to feel normal again and I'm pretty sure August had a lot to do with it. But then when things started to get really real and the whole picture thing happened my mind just went exactly like all those reporters usually go like "Taylor Swift dating again!" "Oh my god! Are we ready for a new Taylor Swift album? 😱" "Wait she's not straight?!" Yeah for fuck's sake, have you not listened to my music? And then I got really worried about August and how it might affect her and how I know the tabloids would twist this into some sick story about this whole thing just being some shitty way to make her like famous or something and how they would just scrutinise every single thing she'll ever do, and has ever done, and she's just starting out in this world and it would be just too much and my anxiety got the better of me and like i started thinking that something was bound to happen to make her leave at some point so it would be best to just not take the step further and everything got too much and I'm pretty sure I was lowkey having some kind of panic attack so i just called mom and left new york and sort of didn't talk to august for a few days and now im sure shes pissed at me even tho she said shes not and is just disappointed which actually hurts because holy fucking shit i am such an asshole cuz i clearly really hurt her and she deserves so much better and now I'm thinking well maybe this is better cuz even if it hurts a bit now, it's better than how much it is going to fucking hurt when I realise that I was actually falling for her and holy shit

Gigi 💗
holy fucking shit

Tay 💜
anyway so that's what's new in my life! Wby, bestie?

Gigi 💗
Alright, I'm gonna answer your giant rant in parts

Gigi💗
First of all I'm so sorry that happened Tay, I love you and I'm here for you if you need anything but like not physically unless you come back to New York soon

Gigi💗
second of all, yeah that really was pretty shitty running away like that

Gigi💗
Third of all, your anxiety is totally valid btww and all those things you mentioned were definitely going to be big ass headlines as soon as anyone found out for real that you two were a thing but my honest opinion is that maybe you shouldn't have run away and instead talked to august about all your fears?

Tay 💜
shut up i know

Gigi 💗
and she is an adult who can make her own decisions too which means that she's also quite aware of everything that might come with dating you publicly or otherwise and she would have been able to tell you herself if she was fine with it or not if you had asked her

Tay 💜
I KNOWgod

Gigi 💗
so what's stopping you from doing so now?

Tay 💜
the last time we talked it kinda sounded like she didnt want anything to do with me anymore. it was sort of like she didn't even really wanna be friends. She just kind of said something like "yeah these things never work out anyway so this is for the best" and that was that

Gigi 💗
and you believed her??

Tay 💜
shouldnt I have?

Gigi 💗
You realise she only said so cuz that's exactly what you were doing?

Tay 💜
....

Gigi 💗
and you also realise that you admitted to falling in love with her?

Gigi💗
and that I have absolutely no doubt that she was always starting to fall for you too?

Tay 💜
yeah, why do you think I know that I totally just fucked up?

Gigi 💗
I don't know! Sometimes you do dumb shit!

Tay 💜
There's nothing I can do about that now anyway. It's better that it ended now when we hadn't figured things out yet

Gigi 💗
Okay, I mean, if you think so!

Tay 💜
Yeahh I guess

Gigi 💗
But...?

Tay 💜
But I miss her so much what the fuck

Gigi 💗
you're in love :')

Tay 💜
no it's just a stupid crush

Gigi 💗
uhu :)

Tay 💜
fuck

Gigi 💗
yeah you're totally fucked

Tay 💜
thanks for being such a great help 😒

Gigi 💗
you're welcome 😇

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