[27]

- EDEN -

-

SWEAT DRIPPED FROM my hairline and my heart hammered in my chest. My eyes were closed, but my brain was spinning at speeds that made me nauseous.

Dreams plagued my mind as I curled further into my covers, in hopes of it shielding the horrific images flashing in my head.

Like always, I was drowning at the hands of another. I clawed at their arms and kicked and thrashed but it was no use.

Ethan held me underwater, a kind smile on his lips. His eyes welled with tears as my lungs felt close to exploding, "It'll be okay, Ede."

I wanted to cry, yell, breathe, but couldn't. My eyes shut as I felt my consciousness disappear underneath me. When the grip around my throat loosened and my vision returned to me, Keldan was in front of me.

What felt like tears spilled down my cheeks, but I couldn't be sure underwater. His grip around my throat tightened just like Ethan had. His charming smile, his bright brown eyes, his soft features trapped me all over again.

With a gasp, I sat up, clawing at my throat as tears flooded my eyes. A sob ripped through me, but I slapped my hand onto my lips in fear of Julia hearing me. I looked to the right and let out a shuddering sigh as I watched her body rise up and down.

She was still asleep.

My heart beat wildly in my chest and I pressed my hand to my chest in hopes of calming down my heart rate. Breathing in and out, my body started to calm down again. With one final breath, I slipped out of bed and made my way to the desk. I slipped my Elmo-themed slippers on and shrugged on a zip-up hoodie. I felt my way to the front door and slipped out.

As I stood in the hallway, unsure of where I was going, I made my way to the elevator. I pressed the up button and waited. When the elevator finally arrived, I pressed the button that took me to the top floor and hopefully the roof.

When it finally let me out, I spotted the door that took me out to the roof to the left and down the hall. I made my way towards it and pushed the door open, letting out a breath of relief when a breeze passed me by. I brushed my hair back from my face and made my way to the edge of the roof.

I took a seat, tucking myself in behind the little ledge.

I don't know how long I sat there, maybe an hour, maybe two. My nerves were frayed, but I felt better. The cool concrete against my bare legs, the warm breeze that brushed my hair back, the feeling of the warm fleece hoodie wrapped around me was enough to lull me back to sleep.

But my thoughts were keeping me awake. I pulled out my phone and played a random playlist, to keep my mind occupied. When Ribs by Lorde started to play, a soft smile stretched the corners of my lips. As I laid my head back and stared at the midnight sky, I knew that maybe these dreams weren't so bad...

Behind me, the door to the roof clicked open and I looked behind me. A small breeze passed me by as I stared at the person walking through the door. I recognized his build and was sure it was Atlas. He was dressed as he usually was, in black and small splashes of color. This time in a black sweatpants and a black hoodie with a red graphic design on the front.

He stalked towards me and I sat up, watching him as he took a seat next to me. I stared up at him, "How do you always find me?"

He tucked his legs underneath him, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, "I don't know,"

I wrapped my arms around my legs, dropping my chin on my knees, thinking of something to say to him. I tilted my head and looked at him, taking in his features that were usually so marvelous. Now, he looked worn out and exhausted.

"Do you ever sleep?" I asked.

He peeked a look at me and then refocused on the street below us, shining with lights and cars every once in a while. The high of his cheekbones, the tip of his nose, and his eyes shone with the lights in the street.

He shook his head, "If I get lucky,"

I nodded as if I knew what he meant by that. He looked at me briefly before he looked away again,  "You're awake,"

I nodded, smiling softly, "Yeah, it would seem."

He sighed, softly, "Those dreams again?"

I nodded, not saying anything about the dreams. Remembering our conversation a few days ago, I picked up my phone and turned to him, scooting in closer. He tore his eyes away from the street and looked at me as I swiped through my phone.

"I told you that I wanted to show you Mitski," I smiled softly and he nodded.

I swiped through a playlist unsure of what song to show him. She had so many great ones, but I wanted to pick a really good one.

Eventually, I settled on an all time favorite of mine, First Love / Late Spring. When it started to play, my eyes met Atlas's. His eyes flickered from my screen to my eyes, locking there for a while. Everything quieted down except for the soft breaths coming from the both of us and these lines:

So, please hurry, leave me, I can't breathe.
Please don't say you love me.

Atlas's hand reached up to me, brushing back the loose strands of hair that brushed my cheek. His fingers lingered there, softly tracing my skin. His fingers against the slope of my jaw, the curve of my lips, and my cheek.

One word from you and,
I'll jump off of this ledge I'm on, baby.

"You're making it hard to breathe," He whispered, softly, his finger trailing my skin as his eyes flickered over every feature of mine. My hand raised softly brushing back his dark hair that curled around my fingers.

"Why?" I asked, when I knew exactly what it was he meant. Take right now for example. His lips were barely an inch away from mine, his fingers traced the softness of my skin, his eyes soaked in every feature of mine leaving. Me bare in front of him.

I was breathing fine, but at the same time, was barely breathing at all.

As his eyes flickered down to my lips, I self-consciously licked them. His eyes fluttered shut and he took in a long breath, "I don't know why, Eden, but..."

"But what?" I asked, unsure of why I was even asking him. Why did I want to know how I affected him so much?Why did I want to know why we couldn't breathe around each other?

He took in a breath, the want for sleep washing over his features. He pulled my face closer to his, our lips brushing almost invisibly against the other's. A shiver ran down my spine and I gripped onto the sleeve of his hoodie, waiting for him to lay ruin to my whole being.

I wanted him to destroy me. Kill me softly and whisper sweet nothings in my ear, press his sweet kiss to my neck and tell me, tell me...

"I'm not good for you,"

My grip on his hoodie loosened, my eyes fluttered open, and his lips... His lips that could've pressed themselves to mine were farther away.

As the next song started to play, I suddenly felt cold. His eyes that were pleading for a connection, but were too scared to commit, blinked at me. "I'm sorry, Eden,"

I smiled, softly, brushing my hair from my back as his fingers slipped from my face. I was getting colder.

Midnight Love by girl in red started to play and I found myself moving to my feet. When I was up, I offered Atlas my hand and he gave me a suspicious look.

"Dance with me," I breathed.

He wasn't good for me and I wasn't good for him. We both knew that, but maybe, just maybe, in the long run, he'd be good for me right now. Later, when I look back to this summer, I'll remember this.

He finally took my hand and helped himself up. He smiled down at me, pulling me closer to him, his left hand on my hip and his other hand holding my hand to his.

"Don't step on my slippers, okay?" I whispered, looking up at him. He smiled and nodded. A small smile resting on my lips, I placed my head down on his chest, listening to his heartbeat again. Gently, he rested his chin on my head, holding me to him as we danced.

I can be your midnight love, oh.
When you silver is my gold.

I held onto him, hoping with everything that was in me that I wouldn't end up in tears. I hated Atlas. I hated the way he stirred so many feelings inside of me. I hated the way he held me to him like we both weren't planning on sticking around. I hated the way two fucked up people could stand here, dancing, and pretend that there wasn't our pasts ripping our hearts apart.

I keep going back for more,
Where there's nothing from before.

I tightened my fist around his hoodie, clinging onto him, clinging onto this moment.

I didn't dare look at him because just as his heart was beating in my ears, my heart was wrenching in my chest. Just as the sun rose from the east and water flowed downwards, Atlas was always right about me.

And you look for a person to take away all your pain in every person you see.

He was right.

When the song ended, I pulled away from him, not looking him in the eyes. I stared down at the street below. As we stood there, silently waiting for the other person to say something, I stayed quiet. Then slipping my phone back into my pocket, I breathed in a sigh.

All my life I felt like I was waiting for something to happen, something that'd make me feel like maybe I wasn't just reading off a stupid pre-written script. Looking back at Atlas, I waited.

He looked up and offered me a smile, "What are you thinking about?"

I turned around to face him, shaking my head slightly, "Nothing,"

He took a step towards me and offered me his hand. I stared down at his ring-clad fingers wondering where he'd take me. If I took his hand, would I just be burying a more comfortable grave of memories and heartbreak?

Hesitantly, I slipped my hand in his and smiled up at him. He took a breath and pulled me forward, towards the door we had both come in from. Frowning up at him, I wondered where we were going as he strung me along.

"Atlas, where are we going?" I asked to which he smiled back at me, but didn't respond. I frowned as he pulled me into the elevator.

He pressed the button that'd take us to the garage and I frowned at him. "Atlas?"

He looked down at me, a questioning look on his face. I watched him, "Are you planning on killing me?"

He smiled to himself, "I'm in way too deep to possibly do that now."

I tried to hold back the smile fighting its way to my face, "Is that supposed to reassure me?

He smiled again, "No, it's not."

I looked down at our entwined fingers and found myself staring. My hand felt so different in his. His hands were warm and soft against my cold ones. I softly picked his hand up and stared at each ring on his finger. He looked down at me.

I pointed to the ring wrapped around his thumb as I looked at him, "This one's pretty,"

It really was. The ring was two-sided. One side was black and glossy with a thin bar of clearish glass through it. When I twisted the ring around his finger, the other side was made of the same clearish glass, but with a glossy black band through it.

He nodded, pulling it off his finger and handing it to me, "Read the engraving,"

My eyebrows rose as I took the ring from him, the elevator doors opening right after. Atlas pulled me forward as I tried to read the engraving on the ring.

"Wait," I said, stopping and pulling my hand from Atlas's. He stopped and watched as I brought the ring to my face and red the engraving.

My guards down.

I looked up at him, "My guards down?"

He smiled, nodding softly. I slipped my fingers back into his hands and walked with him, "When did you get this?" I asked, completely entranced by the beautiful ring between my fingers.

He shrugged, "A few days ago while I was out with Jude and Dawson,"

I nodded, a small smile stretching across my face. I brought his hand back up and slipped the ring back on his thumb. As we exited the foul smelling garage, I looked down the street.

"Will you tell me where we're going now?" I asked as he pulled me down the street.

He smiled, a taunting edge to the smile, "Calm down, Firecracker."

"I hope you know that I hate that nickname a lot," I said to which he laughed, shaking his head and turning around the corner. When we crossed the street, he stopped in front of a quaint-looking corner store. Surprisingly, the lights were on inside.

I looked at him, a confused expression on my face, "What is this place?"

The brick building with its green blinds and door was cute. A window that took up half of its building space read Georgewell's Etagère

"What does that say," I asked, pointing to the window.

Atlas glanced at me, "Georgewell's Bookshelf,"

I frowned, "We're at a library?"

He nodded and pulled the door, pulling me up the steps right after him. As we stepped into the tiny shop, the smell of books, tea, and biscuits flooded my senses, making my nerves calm again.

Atlas's hand slipped from mine and he softly placed his hand at the small of my back, leading me down a short row of shelves. The ability to breathe returned to me when his hand fell from my back. I looked back at him, but he was staring and running his fingers over the pine of each book.

"Atlas?" I asked, running my hand down the spine of a book. The title read Pinocchio.

"Hmm?" He asked, looking back at me. He looked at home surrounded by books and it made me smile.

"What are we doing here?" I asked, stopping shortly when my eyes spotted a book I remember flipping through, Robert Frost's Book of Select Poems.

I picked it up, running my fingers over the cover. I looked to Atlas for his answer, "Pick a book,"

My eyebrows rose, "What?"

He leaned slightly against a bookshelf, repeating himself, "Pick a book,"

I looked around, slightly overwhelmed by all the choices around me and turned back to him, "Are you going to read it to me?"

He cracked a smile, "Maybe,"

I smiled and turned around, walking further down the carpeted floor in search of a book. They had a tall section full of famous American Literature and I stopped, picking up the first one I saw.

Pride and Prejudice.

I showed it to him and his eyebrows rose, "Have you ever read it?"

I nodded, "Yeah,"

He walked closer and took the book in his hands, his body basically pressed to my side. I took in a deep, calming breath as I stared up at him as he flipped through the book. 

"You sure?" He asked, looking down at me and I nodded, smiling up at him. He smiled back and reached his hand back down, tucking my hair behind my ear before caressing my cheek.

I watched as his blue eyes seemed to take every part of me in and I didn't mind. I didn't mind if he stared at me like this for the rest of eternity. He seemed to break away from the little daze he fell in and pulled away. He smiled before he ushered me to the checkout.

The man at the front checked our book out and smiled at us. He bled the book and handed us a small wrapped box with two chocolate-covered madeleines. I brightened at that.

When we were back in the hotel, I watched as Atlas walked ahead,a small smile adorning his pink lips.I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away when we finally decided to go back up to the roof. He sat down, leaning against the ledge and I sat down, curling into his side.

I smiled up at him, "Read away, Foreman."

And he did, his soft voice with the hint of a rasp read line after line of the book. And even though I read this book before, it seemed like this time...

I could listen to Atlas reading it forever.

-

Hey guys, i hope you liked this chapter. The first part really had me and then the second part also had me! I hope you enjoyed this bcuz i wrote it during my creative writing class hahah.

What'd you guys think of this chapter? What would you like to see between atlas and eden?

Thank you so much for all the love and support. This is absolutely surreal and i dont know how to be one thankful. I'm eternally grateful for you all. Love you so so much.

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