[22]

- EDEN -

-

THE DREAMS THAT came tonight weren't as bad as those other nights. The face that I yearned to see for years, the face that made me cry tears for hours visited me tonight. Though I was asleep, I felt my cheeks wet with tears as I tried to mentally grasp what was real and what wasn't.

A small sob left my lips and I pressed my hand to my lips in an attempt to silence my tears. I peeked my eyes open and took in a breath, keeping the dam of emotions in check. I looked up and watched Atlas as he slept peacefully for what looked to be the first time.

My hand that was shaking in fear reached up and softly touched Atlas's cheek. His eyebrows furrowed before they relaxed again. I gently dragged my fingers down his cheek before pulling back and taking in a breath. The effect he had on me unnerved me.

Taking in a deep breath, I slipped out of Atlas's embrace and ran my hand through my hair, and quickly wiped away my tears. I quietly opened the door and slipped out, making my way to my room.

I looked around my room and instantly relaxed as I heard the waves crashing in the distance. I walked over to my open window and took in a deep breath of the salty ocean air. A soft breeze floated in through my window, blowing my hair back.

With a sudden urge to be in the water, I slipped my sandals on and walked back out of my room. I quickly and quietly made my way downstairs and made my way to the balcony, making sure to leave the door open a crack so I wouldn't get locked out. I then padded my way over to the wooden gate to the right of the pool and slipped past it, my feet meeting the grainy sand.

I took slow steps towards the shore, taking in the tranquility that came with being alone on a beach. As I neared the beach, I opened my phone and turned on a playlist. Space Song by Beach House played first and a small smile tugged at the corners of my lips. I turned up the music and plopped my phone down on the sand next to my sandals.

I took small steps towards the water and let out a small sigh as my feet came in contact with the damp sand. I dug my feet into the wet sand, a small smile making its way to my lips. Eventually, I stepped forward and let the waves crash onto my feet. As the cold water washed over my toes, I let out a small laugh. And suddenly, it was like I didn't have a care in the world.

I sloshed my feet around in the water, letting the freezing cold sea prickle my skin. I took in a breath of the salty air, finally feeling all the little frazzled nerves in my brain fade out to a soft whisper.

I found myself wondering if everyday could be like moments like this. Peaceful moments filled with nothing but the sound of waves lapping against the shore and the feeling of the cold water against my calves. As the cool air blew my hair back, I let out a sigh. It wouldn't be possible.

As the song switched to Romantic Lover by Eyedress, I turned around as I heard the gate click open. A small breath left my lips as I watched Atlas make his way to the beach. I turned back around and trailed my hand over the water, staying quiet as the song played softly in the background.

A small sigh left my lips and I quietly crouched down, submerging my head in water. As I sat there, a feeling of eerie quiet washed over me. There wasn't a sound down here and I wondered if there was anything scarier in the world. I think it scared me because it sounded so lonely...

When I resurfaced, I took in a lungful of air as I brushed my hair from my face. As I blinked the water out of my eyes, I turned around and noticed that Atlas had taken a seat on the sand. The next song played in the background as I made my way back towards the beach. A shiver left my lips as a breeze brushed past me. I settled onto the ground next to Atlas, sitting quietly, yet, enjoying the soft music playing behind us telling us about their story as the world caved in around them.

Atlas sighed softly next to me, "I'm sorry," He said and I found myself feeling guilty. I can't help the dreams I got at night, but he probably felt bad for asking me to sleep in his bed. I didn't mind it as much though.

"You don't have to be sorry." I whispered, tucking in my feet underneath me as my teeth chattered softly. I stared at my toes as I buried them underneath the sand. A warm breeze passed us by, instantly warming my cold and shivering body. But as it passed, I started to feel the coldness from my wet shirt leech into my body.

Atlas turned so that he was facing me, staring at my face. I simply watched as his eyes flickered from my eyes to my nose to my lips and so on. I curled into myself as I tried to ignore my stupid wet clothes. Being in the water was fun while it lasted.

I met Atlas's eyes and watched as he pulled the hoodie he was wearing over his head, the shirt underneath, rising slightly and causing my cheeks to burn red. Once he had the hoodie off, he slipped it over my head instantly engulfing me in warmth. As I slipped my arms in, Atlas's eyes never left mine once, making my heartbeat ram in my chest faster and faster. I glanced down at the hoodie, a small smile making its way to my lips.

"It's big," I found myself saying to which he laughed softly.

"Yeah," He said, a small smile gracing his lips as he tucked the rest of my hair under the hood. I took in a breath as he lazily trailed his finger down my cheek, holding my chin in between his fingers for a small second. When he pulled back his hand back, I frowned, quickly realizing it was his touch I missed— even if it had only been gone less than a second.

"We do this a lot... Me and you." I said, staring up at Atlas's face that was a mere few inches away. Waves crashed in the background, the sky began to get lighter and lighter by the second, the soft but sweet smell of a nearby flower flooded my senses as I questioned myself on what peace could possibly be like if it wasn't this.

Atlas nodded, "Do you know why?" He asked, quietly fiddling with the beaded bracelet hanging from his wrist. "Because every time I try to find an answer, I find myself nowhere."

I looked up at him and wanted nothing but to thread his hair in between my fingers. My cheeks reddened as I remembered that night I did just that. It felt good... It felt right at the time.

"Because we're just two people looking for someone to take away their pain in every person they meet." I said, quoting what Atlas had told me that night behind the night club.

A soft smile made its way to his lips as he remembered the same words too. "Maybe you're right."

I laughed softly, "I'm always right, Foreman."

He laughed softly and I watched as he reached into his pocket and pulling it out after. Every few seconds, he'd do it again and again and I frowned.

"What's in your pocket, Atlas?" I asked, glancing up at him as I laid my head down on my knees. He smiled softly before completely pulling his hand out and placing it in his lap.

"Just need a smoke," He said and I nodded softly, remembering the fact that he smoked. Some people did it all the time and by habit, but others did it occasionally.

"Why do you smoke?" I asked to wish he laughed softly and I elaborated, "Like is there a reason? When you''re nervous or pissed off or..."

He smiled, "When everything's too quiet."

I frowned. "What?"

He smiled again and I found myself admiring the slight stretch of his lips and the soft pink color that reminded me so much of childhood summers at the beach.

"My head's usually buzzing with... noise and I've grown comfortable with that. But sometimes when things that ease my conscious come along, they go quiet... I never know what to do with it, so at 15, I started to smoke." He said, causing my lips to part softly.

"Things that ease your conscious?" I found myself asking. Thinking back to the time he first smoked in front of me at Whole Foods as we sat and ate pizza.

He nodded. "Yeah.", not meaning to elaborate further. I simply nodded along with him.

"You can smoke around me if you want," I said, "I don't mind."

He looked up at me, a questioning look on his face, "Are you sure? You can get cancer just by breathing in this stuff."

I frowned, absentmindedly, "I know, it's fine."

As Mitski came to an end in the background, I zoned out as Atlas lit his cigarette. Snippets of the nightmare that has haunted my dreams started to replay in my mind, making my chest constrict in fear and sadness. I hated him. No, I hated them for leaving. One after the other, they decided that they couldn't bear the thought of me.

A tear trickled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away with the sleeve of Atlas's hoodie. I hate them, I found myself repeating over and over in my head.

"Hey hey," Atlas said worriedly as he lifted my chin so that I could meet his eyes. His blue eyes met mine and I realized that his face was much closer to mine than we had started out. The scent of his sweet cologne engulfed my sense of smell and I found that my body had started to relax. The worry washed away as the sky quickly turned lighter and lighter by the minute.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his hand slipping from my chin. Before I could help it, I grabbed his hand and held it to the side of my face. He tensed up for a split second, but started to relax, his hand holding my face more comfortably. I let out a small sigh.

"Nothing, just thinking." I whispered.

Atlas simply nodded and we fell quiet. My face pressed to Atlas's hand and Atlas smoking away the quiet in his head. Weren't we a pair, I found myself joking in my head.

Atlas sighed softly, "Tell me about home."

I looked up, watching him as he slowly breathed out a puff of smoke. I took in a breath, "Our house is nice. My favorite room is the attic because from there, at 6 in the afternoon, you can see my elderly neighbors drinking sparkling cider in front of the pool, talking and laughing. They remind me that even at an age farther than I'd enjoy, love is possible.

"Mom and Dad fell in love at 21 at a library. Mom was reading a book in the aisles and Dad was working there. They were closing up so he had to tell her to leave. She said she wouldn't and he said that he'd take her out if she agreed to leave. She did and he ended up taking her to this lake that doesn't exist anymore. They fed the ducks and he bought her a candle after. She lit it every night. They shared secrets there, they laughed there, and they shared their first kiss there."

A small shudder left my lips as I tried to ignore the parts of the past that still hurt. I took a breath and continued, "They had me five years later and they did their best to give me the best childhood. I remember almost every part of it and I love each and every memory. The trips to Costco for lunch off of the samplers, the long drives to the beach, the pranks with Dad, the baking with Mom, the movie nights, my first pet bird, Tweety." I laughed softly when a small smile graced Atlas's lips once more.

"After..." I started to say, but decided against it. "Then Lydia was born and it was all that fun and family all over again. She was like a never-ending reminder of youth and innocence. Without her, things would have fallen apart quickly. She's so much more out-going than I'd ever be able to be. She says what's on her mind, she doesn't wait for things to just happen, she laughs a lot— excessively if you ask me— and she's just so much better to Mom and dad than I ever was.

"I have friends. Julia and Leah are the best things that have ever happened to me. They've been through so much with me and I don't know where I'd be without them. They're my family and I'd wish for nothing more than to be with them forever. I have hamza and he's just... He's a good person to have around. He cares for me a lot more than I'd be able to reciprocate.

"We have a community barbecue and I realize that we have a lot of people that actually care for us. So many neighbors, so many kids, so many memories. And I'm scared that as soon as I have to leave... This'll all go away with it."

A small smile stretched on my lips as a tear slipped down my cheek. I quickly brushed it away, "Even with all the bad that's happened to me, I don't think my life sucks. I love every single person in my life— and I know that sounds like bullshit, but I do.— I can't take anyone for granted."

I looked up and found that Atlas had a small smile on his lips. He softly brushed his thumb back and forth over my cheekbone. A small yawn escaped my lips and I quickly covered my mouth with my hand.

"I like it," He said and a small laugh bubbled out of me. "Oh, you like my messy family?"

He nodded, "Every part of it."

I smirked, "So, which one was your favorite part? Aside from my parent's romantic meeting and the obvious one being Tweety." I laughed.

He laughed along with me, but quieted down as he thought about it, "Definitely your older neighbors next door. Getting old doesn't seem like something I'd ever want to experience, but seeing people get there and have a happy ending is... nice."

I laughed, "Yeah, seems nice."

Atlas sighed, his fingers falling slowly, but surly down my neck. His fingers slid down my neck and stopped at the neckline of my wet tee, fingering the fabric between his fingers softly. As Kids by Current Joys play in the background, I found myself thinking about being young.

Oh, I'm just a kid,
I've never used my brain.
I only use my heart,
And my imagination.

Atlas looked at me, a puzzled look on his face, "What are you thinking about?"

I smiled softly, "Do you want to go and do something?"

Atlas frowned, "Something? That could literally mean anything."

A small laughed escaped my lips as I stood up, Atlas's hand falling from my cheek. I offered Atlas my hand and he took it, a wary look on his face. I laughed as he finally stood up to his full height.

As the Spanish sun rose over the horizon from the east, I found myself staring at Atlas's beauty that screamed perfection. His skin shone a soft sun kissed yellow as the first rays of the morning lit up his face. His blue eyes shone a completely new shade of blue. It was as if the same blue I had just started to get accustomed to was dipped in a beautiful yellow, making it shine an ethereal green. My eyes trailed down to his lips that looked softer than anything I had ever could of dreamed of. My eyes trailed down to the rest of his body that looked lean and softly muscular. Dressed in nothing but a simple black tee and a pair of sweatpants, I found myself wondering how any being could possible be more beautiful.

I blinked out of the stupid haze I found myself in and dusted the sand off Atlas's hoodie. I looked up at him and smiled sheepishly.

"What?" He asked, seemingly unaware of the way I had stared at him. A soft smile graced his lips and I shook my head.

"Just... Come on," I said and turned around as I ran my hand through my hair. After I slipped my sandals back on and grabbed my phone that had shut off from the lack of charge, we made our way down the beach. We walked quietly, side by side, enjoying the sunrise and each other's presence.

If I could stay here forever, I would.

As we moved down the beach, my eyes caught sight of a flower laying on its side on a sandy hill.  It was small and of a purplish-blue color. Its stem was long and I moved to pick it up. I smiled at it softly and brushed the sand off the flower. I turned back around and walked into step with Atlas.

"It's pretty," I smiled, "It reminds me of the first time I painted. I remember it vividly because my Mom made it her mission to get me as far away from paint as possible. She was right in that sense because I ended up splashing a bunch of paint in exactly this color all over the wall."

Atlas laughed and I found myself smiling fondly at the memory. Then I frowned. Why the hell did I just tell him that? I ended up talking too much around him, I noticed.

"What are you going to do with it?" Atlas finally asked as we reached the road that lead to town. As we stepped onto the sidewalk, I shook my head.

I turned around and handed it to Atlas, "It's for you."

He stopped, smiling softly, "For me?"

I nodded, trying to ignore the blush stinging my cheeks. He gently took the flower in his hands and smiled, "Thanks and all, but what do I do with it?"

I laughed, covering my lips as he stared at the flower. I picked up the flower from his hand and reached up, placing it behind his ear. His eyes never left mine the whole time I stood on my toes, trying to place the flower behind his ear. When I was finally done, I fall back onto my feet and smiled up at him.

"Perfect," I breathed.

He smiled and softly touched the flower before laughing softly, "Thanks, firecracker."

I nodded and we turned around, continuing our walk into town. "So, where are we going?"

I smiled, "We'll see where we end up."

Atlas laughed his melodic laugh and I tucked my damp hair behind my ear. "Eden,"

I looked up at him as we walked, "Hmm?"

He smiled, "Thanks,"

I nodded. There was no need to elaborate on what it was he meant. I understood him. A small blush creeped up my neck and I looked down.

"Anytime, Foreman."

-

Thank you so so much for 16K. this book has been an absolute dream and I'm so so happy with how far I've come. AND THIS IS ONLY 16K.

I hope you guys liked this chapter. It was sorta weird, but necessary to build their relationship further. I'm excited for the next chapter YEE HAW 🤠

also, check out the playlist I made for this chapter. All the songs she had listened to are up there. love you all <33

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