Chapter 19: Nate and Ally

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Present Day

The twins' loud voices woke her, she peeked at the clock on her bedside table and saw that it is already past eight o'clock in the morning. She slept way past her usual, maybe because of what happened last night or due to exhaustion from work. Whatever the reason is, her body feels heavy, like she run a marathon while she slept which is not a good feeling.

Her body may also be reacting to the anxiety she is feeling, that Ethan will come anytime, knocking on their front door, or worse barging not just into their house but into their lives as well - something that is not resting well with her.

Not wanting to overthink and make herself ill, she finally stood up and do some stretching to shake the sleep away, took a shower then slip a comfortable house dress. She doesn't have any appointment with a customer, so might as well not to open her shop today, she will spend her day with her kids.

She smiled when she heard their laughter as she open her bedroom door. She stood at the doorway leading to the kitchen and watch as they chat with Melissa. Their topic varies and always starts with 'Did you know...?'

Her smile vanished when the twins asked something.

"Why did we left so early last night Aunt Mel?" Ally said

"Yeah, and mom was upset." Nate seconded.

She saw Mel gazed at her secretly. Not wanting to put Mel into a battle of question and answer portion, she opted to make herself known by clearing her throat. The twins' head simultaneously snapped towards her. She saw the guilt in their eyes before it lit up, then both jumped from the chair they are in, run towards her to hug and kiss her good morning.

Mel then bid them goodbye, informing her that she needs to be somewhere. But before she left, Mel gave her a pointed look, clearly saying - though silently, that she needs to tell the twins what had transpired the night before. She just nodded and thanked her.

She turned her attention towards her kids and asked in a jolly tone.

"What did you have for breakfast?"

"Aunt Mel cooked ham and toasted bread." Nate answered.

"She made me a sandwich mama." Ally supplied.

"Okay, you want me to make something else?" She chirpped in a too happy voice, something the twins may have caught up, for they both shook their heads and stared at her - those too inquisitive cerulean eyes of them.

She calmed herself first before asking them in now her normal voice.

"You want to ask me something?"

The twins stared at each other first, communicating with each other without the use of words. Then Ally spoke after sometime.

"Mama, what happened last night? You are happy being at Uncle Lucas and Aunt Claire's place, weren't you?"

"But if you don't want to answer the question mama, it's okay. We do not want you to be upset." Nate said solemnly.

She smiled but a lone tear escape from her eyes. This is the time that she wanted to avoid, the very moment that she will tell her kids what had happened even before they were born and to explain the situation that they where in. How will they react? Will their behavior change towards her? Will they be mad at her for running away and not fighting for all of them? Too many questions, too little answer. Gathering all the courage she could muster, she guided the twins towards the chair at the dining table and seated herself in front of them. She took first a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak.

"Yes, I was happy last night, while we were at your uncle Lucas and aunt Claire's place, but then...I saw your father there."

The first few words came out like a squeek but the remaining words after that, left her mouth smoothly.

She expected an outburst of excitement, of joy, of so many questions, but none came as she expected. Instead, with brows furrowed, they asked.

"Why was he there?" - Nate

"Did he saw you?" - Ally

Their questions caught her offguard for she didn't expect it. Once again clearing her throat, she answered.

"As for your question Ally, yes, he saw me, that is why I run and urged you to leave as soon as we can. I think he may have run after me, but then I lost him."

"As for your question Nate, well, he was invited because he is family. He is Aunt Claire's brother actually and the old lady you met at the wedding weeks ago is actually your father's mother, she is really your grandmother."

Their gasp when understanding dawned on them was loud and they exclaimed with excitement.

"Really?! Grandma Alessa is really our grandma?"

"And aunt Claire is really our aunt?"

"Yes." Her simple answer was returned with uncertainty and series of questions.

"Do you think they know about us mama?"

"If they do, where were they while we were growing up?"

"How about the others mama, are they going to accept us as their family?"

"Will they want us once they know about us?"

"Or are they going to reject us?"

The seriousness of their questions rendered her speechless. The possibility that they will arrive at the conclusion that the twins are Ethan's is very high, giving away the resemblance of Nate and Ally with their father. But still she doesn't know if they know now, and if they do, she doesn't know if they will really accept her kids once the information will come out, for even she is in doubt.

Not wanting to give away the uncertainty that is creeping into her being, she pacified them and tried to chase their fear away.

"Hey, look at me. Your aunt Claire and grandma Alessa already loved you as you are, without them knowing who you really both are, so it is impossible for them not to like you two since you are really their family. So cheer up okay, everything will be fine and mama is always here."

The twins smiled at her and chorused.

"We love you mama."

She answered their simple but heartfelt declaration with thousands of kisses which made her kids giggle. Their laughter makes her heart light and happy. This is what she wants, for her children to be happy, just as any mother would want.

She thought their questions will cease but the onslaught that came caught her off guard.

"But how about our father mama?"

"Why is our father not with us?"

"He doesn't want us? Is that the reason mama?"

"Does he love us mama?"

Her throat clogged again, as her emotions caught at her. It took several clearing of throat and several times she wiped her tears before her courage came back.

"Please do not hate me or think of me differently. It's just that, I don't know what to do that time..." She started that made the twins look at her in all seriousness.

"You see, your father didn't know that I am pregnant with you when we go on our separate ways. I wasn't brave enough to tell him about you and ruin the lives of other people. I may have been selfless towards them but I have been selfish to both of you. Please forgive mama for what I have done even before you were born."

"So you mean mama, he doesn't know me and Nate exist?" Ally asked.

She can only nod as an answer to her daughter's question.

She saw them looked at each other before both turn towards her and uttered.

"We do not hate you mama, there must be a reason why you did that."

"You always say that there is a reason for everything."

"We still love you mama."

Her tears flowed uncontrollably after her confession, she feels light, as if a heavy load was lifted off her shoulder because of what she did. She gave her children a bear hug and another bouts of kisses that made them giggle again. She stopped when she remembered something.

"Please do not hate your father. Give him a chance if he will try to reach out, will you?"

The twins nodded at her request, she is glad for their positive response, but Nate's query, made her stopped.

"But will he want us mama?"

"Yes, he will want you because he really wants to have children of his own." She answered with a smile which made them smile as well. She was glad they accepted her reasoning, though, it is true when they were together, she doesn't know now if he still desires to have kids with her.

They spent the whole day, playing, sketching, drawing, coloring, eating and watching their favorite movie and tv shows until past their bedtime - something that she rarely do.

Her thoughts before falling asleep that night is that she easily overcame the first hurdle, she just hopes that she can conquer the incoming that she knows is arriving sooner rather than later.

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