It's a late in the evening and Jake is high, which only happens when things get bad. Bad, bad.

That possibly makes no sense. 

But Jake when's he's having a bad bad day, is something that makes no sense, he lashes out on every person then a few seconds afterwards he's laughing, I'm pretty sure it's the pot that makes him so bipolar. 

It's scares the boys though I don't think they will ever admit it,  are a little frightened by him when he's in that state of mind.  

Like that one time last year, when he threw a bottle of- I honestly I don't remember which type of alcohol- at a wall and almost hitting Dean, he apologized a billion times. But I know Dean still gets freaked out when he's high. 

It was completely out of character of him, to even be violent,  to do what he did, so the boys decide to stay way.

So lucky me when he's high or having a bad day, they call me to knock some sense into him. 

Ha like I've ever got to him. 

It could be considered a lie, I know how to calm him most of the time.  

But I of course still have to be trading lightly with Jake. 

So now I'm walking into Jakes apartment, I don't knock. I never knock. 

We're close to the point it's normal, immediately the stench of marijuana fills my nostrils. 

I can't believe I used to smoke that shit. 

I walk into the living room and see Jake holding a a joint in one hand and bottle of vodka in the other. 

Im surprised he's alone. I guess it's good sign so far. 

"Talk." I say bluntly. When I see he's blood shot eyes. 

"Im fucking fine Ens." He smirks, looking straight at me.

I take the bottle out of his grasp take a swig then look back at him. 

"Ens." He says eyeing the bottle in my hand. 

"Want this?" I ask shaking the bottle a bit, he looks away from me. 

I know that he won't touch me even if I piss him off. No matter what state of mind he's in, I'm positive he won't

He's silent for a long while. At least five minutes pass when he finally looks back over to me. 

"Sh-sh." He stops and takes a deep breath. 

I already know what coming, and I immediately feel bad. 

"S-She still-still doesn't remember me." He begins to cry. I quickly place the bottle on the floor and rush over to my best friend. I take the the joint and place it in the ash tray. 

We hug for awhile, he cries hard. 

"W-Will she ever?" He asks his voice shaky. 

"I don't know." I admit, I don't want to lie to him, and give him an answer that I have no idea if will ever be true.

Rachel, his ex girlfriend, I guess you can say, they we're together for a year when their relationship got sort of toxic, they both began to hurt each other fighting constantly. He got his first few tattoos since he needed something to distract him for awhile and was passing by a tattoo shop. 

He told me at the time he didn't want to go over to Rachels, so he thought why not. The rest came after he began to like the way he looked with them. 

Him and Rachel were in his car fighting, when she said he changed and he isn't the same. 

When he crashed into a tree, causing the tree to fall on Jake's car. 

They both could have died that day.

That night changed everything. Rachel lost her memory, after the accident. 

I remember when he told me this. It was difficult, for him to admit. 

But after I told him about my parents, and the other crazy things that I don't tell anyone, he told me his story. 

Jake is like family and a best friend, I can tell him anything, anytime. When things get rough he's there. 

We're both broken and I guess in a fucked up way, we found comfort in the knowledge that we are both broken pieces of glass. You have make sure not to stand on the shattered pieces. 

He has saved me in many ways. 

I am very grateful to have him as my friend.

He promised he would stop going to see Rachel especially since last time, she asked why does he keep stalking her, and started screaming for help.

 Now it's almost been a year and a half, doctors say she could remember. But it's not likely. 

I don't think Jake will ever expect that the girl he grew to love is gone. 

"I miss her." he cries harder if possibly, hugging me tighter.

Behind he's rough exterior he's kind, loving, and overall good person, he might come off as a jerk. But he's actually a broken man hiding behind a mask. 

"You'll be okay, even if she doesn't remember you have to let it go. Jake trust me when I say you deserve to be happy and you won't if you keep trying to talk to her. If she does remember at some point and she wants to talk she'll come back.

"If she's your end you'll find your way back to each other. Please Jacob please just try to be happy. You deserve to be happy." I tell him honestly.

I pull away from him and he calms down a little. 

"Thank you Ensleey." 

I smile. " Anytime." He attempts to grab the joint again. "No, no you aren't having anymore of this." I take the joint luckily it's out, so I put in a plastic bag, and place it somewhere he hopefully won't find it. I always do that sometimes he finds them. 

Most of the time I'm a good enough hider I usually tell Collin where they are, so he can get rid of them. I don't think it's a good idea putting drugs in the garbage. 

When I come back to the living room I find him drinking out of the bottle of vodka. 

He smiles and shakes it. "I still have this."

He's like a small child when their mother away takes their candy. 

I smirk and begin to get close to him he attempts to get up, he's too drunk and high to be able to get away. 

So me being the caring, kind, and loving friend takes this to my full advantage. 

I hit him with a pillow. He stumbles and half bottle of vodka, falls to the ground. 

I know it won't spill since it's half way gone. I grab it and walk to his small kitchen and as I'm placing the bottle in the highest shelf I hear Jake yell the word 'Bitch'. 

"You know you love this bitch!" I yell back and he walks into the kitchen. 

"C'mon Ens where is it?"  He says looking under the table, yep definitely high. 

"Im not telling you." I smile. "You know where it is?" 

"Where?" He says probably thinking I would actually say. 

Yeah right. 

"In this apartment." 

We continue this banter until I know he's way to wasted to walk on his own two feet so I push him to his bedroom, and shove him into his bed.

Yes I had to physically shove him onto his bed. 

I decide to sleep here, its nothing new I often sleep at his apartment when I get bored alone. 

So after I put Jake to bed I go to sit on the couch and watch a movie until I eventually fall into sleep on the couch.

~~~~~~~

A u t h o r s   N o t e 

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