October 12, 11:10 pm.

I don't think I could ever forgive myself. I hurt Cameron so much. Yesterday when I knocked on his door and told him I had to tell him something. Only imagining his face of disgust after I of what I was going to tell him pained me. He opened the door. Those blue and brown eyes looked calm and fascinating, like always.

He smiled as soon as he saw me. He hugged me and told me he missed me, but that it was just better that way. I started telling him about the party and how Sophie had convinced me of going. He faced the floor like he knew what was coming ahead. Then I told him that I had made a huge mistake and he only licked his lips.

"He kissed me," I finally blurted our after a long mental battle.

He just sat down and started playing with his fingers.

I told him that if I could, I would turn back time and do everything different.

He took a deep breath. "Stop, Stephanie. Just stop. Don't say that. Don't keep saying how you wish you could change things, because you can't. And you never will. So what's the use of even wishing for something you know will never come true?" He said.

I sat down beside him. He didn't deserve going through that. I tried to tell him that I pulled away quickly enough.

"That doesn't really matter, Steph." He told me. "What matters is the moment that you kissed him back. It could be mere seconds. But it was the moment you felt perfect in being there kissing him. It was on the moment you forgot about everything he did to you and just focused on how good it felt." He mumbled. His lower lip was quivering slightly.

"I'm so sorry it had to be this way," He whispered even though we were alone in the house. "But we both knew that eventually we'd have to go our own ways." He smiled. I could see his eyes were blurry. "I just didn't know that when that moment came, it'd hurt so damn much."

I tried to say something but he interrupted me.

"Stephanie, it's okay. I hold no grudge." He let out a small smile. "But it just won't work. You still love him. But thank you, okay?" He pulled me in for a hug. He smelled good. So good that I could spend hours hugged with him and never get tired of his scent. "Thank you for being the best thing that ever happened to me." He said. "I just think that we were so desperate to get a taste of love that we ended up anticipating it. Maybe we said it too fast and that ended up ruining us. But it doesn't matter now. You're one of the best memories I'll ever have." He kissed my forehead.

"I love you," He whispered. And he hugged me even tighter.

I walked home emotionless.