103, 104, 105

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Text #103.

April 11, 9:33 pm.

Being mad for a while feels better than the thought of you and her together. I don't think people understand it completely. You were my friend, Tyler. I miss everything that we used to have. Our jokes, our laughs; everything. 

Text #104.

April 12, 7:26 am.

Something inside me is aching. It's aching so badly that I need the radio turned down on the highest volume so I can't be able to think correctly. It's like I can feel the rhythm and the vibration thumping along with my heart. Loud music avoids the sad thoughts and I feel better about everything.

Text #105.

April 13, 4:22 pm.

I'm feeling kind of alone right now. Like not alone in the kind of way where I don't have anyone beside me, but the kind of alone where it just feels empty. Like, I could get in a room full of people, and still feel empty. Like no one was ever really there. Like I'm isolated in this mess we all must endure. But I don't know exactly what is happening to me. Before you, I was always the kind of person that was alone. I actually liked it. While the other people in class were laughing about those kind of futile nonsense, I'd be reading my books. I'd like to snuck up to the roof and just stay there, looking at the sky and listening to my music. I liked to be alone with myself for a little while, but not for a long time. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I liked being alone, but I hated being lonely. 


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