Edited

Andre

Seeing Kayla pass out like that at dinner really scared the hell out of me. I was ready to take her to the hospital but my mom convinced me she just needed rest. After the news she got she was just in shock. Dinner was of course cut short. Nobody was in the mood for food or any talking once we saw Kayla. Well, some people. Victor and Steven were still trying to talk business with my dad. After a few short words though, they were hush mouthed and out of the house. The girls were forced to go to a hotel rather than stay at our place. No one tried to argue with my dad.

"She's going to be okay lil bro," Jules said patting my back. "She's strong. She'll get through this."

"Yeah," I muttered. I know she's strong. But some things are just too big and bad to handle. She already dealt with the pain of losing her father before she had him and now he's crashed his way back into her life. I swear, I'm going to kill somebody if-

"Andre?" I heard a soft voice call out. I turned around in my seat in the living room and there was Kayla. She looked absolutely exhausted and looked like she could burst into tears any minute.

"How you feeling baby girl?" I got up to meet her halfway. She didn't say anything and just started crying. I rubbed her back and led her back to her room. It was late so most of everyone was asleep but we needed as much privacy as we could get. "It's okay baby. Just let it out."

"I seriously think someone is turning my life into some big soap opera," she sniffed. "Am I just entertainment for somebody out there? Is that why whenever I make three steps forward I get pushed tens steps back? I was finally happy. I was finally feeling free and now...I just got thrown back into that deep dark hole I was put into when I was ten. Why does he have to be here? Why do you have to be in a proposal with her? Why-"

"Stop it," I said sternly. "First off, I'm not in a proposal with her. I'm in a relationship with you. I want you. You're mines and I am yours. Got it? Don't let this man ruin everything you worked so hard to obtain. I understand you've hit more than a few bumps in the road and seen more than a few bad days. But that only means once you trek through it you'll see nothing but sunny skies."

She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "I-Is it wrong I still want him in my life? That I still...want a dad."

"No. Everyone needs and wants a father. You're no different."

"Am I just stupid then? Like why? All those things he said to me when I was little. All those things he said to my mother. He gave up on me before he even gave me a chance," she ranted, suddenly getting angry. "Why?! Why can't I fucking hate him?! Why do I have to envy them?! Why Andre?!"

"Because your heart is too kind to hate. Even after what Josh and Chris put you through you could never bring yourself to hate them. That doesn't mean something is wrong with you. Hate is what holds people back. You will always move forward because you found a different path to take when it comes to your enemies and those who have wronged you. Don't stoop down just to force hatred into your heart. Keep taking the high road." I think she listened to the advice I gave her. Or at least heard what I said. She cried most of the night and I held her and let her vent. It pained me to see her this way.

Kayla

When I woke up I felt like pure grade A shit. My head and throat were hurting so bad and I was a bit grumpy. Andre was still asleep so I carefully got out of bed. Even though I feel like crap, I should keep my promise in helping Mrs. Jackson prepare today's feast. I washed up and tried making myself look as normal as possible before going to the kitchen. Mrs. Jackson, a tired Essence, and April were all busying themselves in the kitchen. They stopped when I entered though.

"Hey," I gave them a soft smile.

"Hey baby," Mrs. Jackson said. She came up and hug me. "I know yesterday is still heavy on your mind. You can go back and rest."

"No, I should help."

"Kayla, just take it easy," April said. I sighed because there's no point in arguing with her. I took a seat and watched as they moved around.

"I know you probably don't want to talk about it," Essence started. "But talking could be what you need."

"Well," I sighed. "I really don't know where to begin."

"How about starting with how you felt about seeing him?" Mrs. Jackson urged.

"Shocked. Angry. Happy. Everything. More shocked than anything. I never thought I'd see him again and there he goes. Waltzing through the door with his wife, acknowledging his daughters like he didn't have one he threw away. It seemed everything I worked for. Everything I tried and did to get to where I am was for nothing. I was finally accepting myself after all these years. I was getting more confident with my body and image. I was finally letting go that dark cloud that continuously haunted me throughout my years. And all of that, all that hard work was wasted. Everything I striven for died the moment I realized who that man was. Every insecurity he left me with came flooding back and now-"

"Calm down baby," Mrs. Jackson grabbed my hands and wiped the tears from my face. "I want you to listen to me, I don't know what he did to you in the past but we're in the present and going into the future. Do not let the past collide in with them you hear me? You are the master of your construction and destruction. Do not let this man control you. Do not give your power away. You are strong Kayla. So strong and beautiful and deserving of the world at your feet. Life is about the trials, tribulations and treasures. You have to go through the first T's to get the last. You hear me?"

"It hurts," I sniffed.

"I know. But you won't hurt forever. You'll get better and stronger without him. Don't ever give a man the power to make or break you. Do you understand me?"

"Yes," I whispered. I felt a little better but still a bit lost and uneasy.

"You're not alone okay?" April said rubbing my back soothingly. "You have me and if you want, I'll beat him up for you."

That made me laugh. "Thanks April."

She smiled. "If anyone knows what you're going through, it's me." Which is true. Her father walked out of her life when she was six years old. She told me it hurt considering she was a daddy's girl. But when she was eight years old her step dad came into the picture and she now thinks of him as her real father. I wasn't blessed with a stepfather but we share the pain of losing the one man who was supposed to love us unconditionally.

"I'll run him over with my car if you want," Essence chimed in.

"Girl," April laughed and I laughed with them. They made me feel a lot better just by being them. We talked and enjoyed each other's company as they cooked. They refused to let me help which was a bit annoying considering there's a lot of people to cook for. Mr. Jackson came into the kitchen a few hours later looking a bit agitated and annoyed.

"You okay honey?" Mrs. Jackson asked.

"No," he mumbled. He looked at me with sympathetic eyes. "How are you Kayla?"

"I'm good, fine, I guess," I mumbled. "Sorry about yesterday-"

"Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault you were in shock." He then sighed. "I hate this but your...he called and is on the phone for you." Everything was dead silent. "He wants to meet with you so you can talk. I was going to tell him no but I think that decision is solely up to you."

"I...I don't know," I mumbled.

"Take some time to think about it. He's on hold but if it's important he'll either wait or call back. No pressure alright?"

I nodded. "Thanks."

"No problem baby girl," he gave me a side hug. "Alright, let me go get these bastards up. We have some things to do. Kayla do you mind getting Andre for me? Waking Shawn up is going to be a pain in the ass."

"Sure." I climbed off the stool and headed to the shared room I have with Andre. He was still sleeping. "Andre?" I poked his face until he stirred and opened his eyes. "Your dad wants you."

"Shit," he groaned sitting up. "Forgot we got business to take care of."

"Sorry if I kept you up last night."

"Don't even worry babe. It's part of my job to stay up half the night and hold you while you cry." He swung his legs over the bed and stretched. "But what's up with you? I know you're still upset. It's written all over your face."

"Well," I mumbled sitting down. "He wants to meet and talk with me. And I don't know what to do."

"Me personally I would say hell no. Don't talk to the nigga that caused you so much pain. But at the same time I think you should talk to him. Get closure or some shit," he shrugged.

"Everything is just happening so fast and hitting me so hard and I just feel so lost and confused. I don't know what to do."

He was quiet for a bit. "Call Dr. Jacobson. I'm sure she can help you."

"But it's Thanksgiving."

"You need somebody to talk to and the only person who seems to get through to you is her so you should call her. I'm sure when she said call anytime she meant it. You need someone to talk to. And as much as I want to be that person, she's who you need. I understand its hard opening up so I'm not going to rush you."

"Thanks," I said quietly. He kissed my head before getting dressed and leaving. I picked up my phone and dialed the number. I hesitated before pressing the call button. I chewed my lip nervously as it rang.

"Hello?" the familiar voice of Dr. Jacobson sounded calmed me a bit.

"H-Hey Dr. J-Jacobson. It's K-Kayla," I stuttered nervously.

"Kayla? Hey sweetie. I wasn't expecting your call."

"Yeah," I said nervously. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I would ask you but if you're calling me then you're obviously not doing so well. What's wrong?"

"Everything," I mumbled.

"And what do you mean by everything?"

"Well, I'm spending the break with my boyfriend and his family right? I was nervous at first but they're really good people and I felt right at home with them. But things started getting difficult once they're other members came. I knew I would be around Josh and Chris but I wasn't as bothered as I thought I would be. And when those girls showed up I wasn't intimidated like I thought I would be."

"What girls?"

"Well, Josh and Chris are supposed to be engaged to some business guys' daughters or something. I don't get it but it's some type of deal they have going on. There's another girl they want to marry Andre and she's my half-sister. My father was here too and everything that I've felt, every insecurity came rushing back to me. I was suddenly thrown back into that deep dark pit again. I was so happy Dr. Jacobson. So happy before any of this and now he wants to see me and I don't know what to do. I can't hate him but I can't love him. I want him to be my dad but I want him to rot in hell. I'm so confused and-"

"Slow down Kayla," she soothed. "Take deep breathes for me okay?" I nodded and did as she said. "I see a lot has been going on with you. Let's take this one step at a time. It seems the biggest problem is that one of your father correct?"

"Yes," I sniffed.

"I see. Okay Kayla, I want you to listen to me and listen to me good. I am not going to repeat myself, got it?" I nodded although she can't see me. "It's time to grow up Kayla."

."B-But-"

"No buts. I've seen such incredible growth from you Kayla and you were finally seeing it too. You were becoming confident and so sure of yourself. I'm proud of you for that. But you weren't growing. You won't allow yourself to grow because you won't allow yourself out of your comfort zone. Your boyfriend's family was comfortable for you so you felt much more secure and safe. They gave you a strength which is good. But the moment your comfort zone became tampered with, you ran away. Only you have the power over yourself. You let your power slip and believed it was someone else's fault when it was just yours. You cannot let anyone see your crown slip do you hear me?"

"Yes," I mumbled. "It hurts Dr. Jacobson. It really does. He acknowledges those two but not me? What did I do wrong?"

"Life is about pain dear. Pain is what gives you strength and power. His family empowered you but that strength, strength from others are only temporary. The strength you give yourself is eternal. You've been avoiding the pain that started it all for long enough Kayla. The only way for you to be truly happy, self-confident, and free is to pass the last major obstacle of your life. Stop running away Kayla. I'm not saying you won't face little bumps in the road ahead but once you've passed this monster course you would be strong enough to not fumble or fall. You need to let yourself be uncomfortable Kayla. Or you will never truly have your power reinstated."

"So," I said. "I should talk to him. Is that what you're saying?"

"You say you're in a state of conflict right? You don't know which path to take. The path of love and forgiveness. The path where you pay no mind to what he did in the past and accept him now or the path of hate. The path where you never let go of the hurt he caused you. You will never know which path is the right path for you if you don't see where your options lie. Talking to him will make everything clear for you. I can't promise you what will result in your conversation, but I promise you, you will become who you're meant to be."

I sniffled. "Do you...think I'm ready?"

"I know you are. Stop guessing. Do."

"Okay," I sighed. "Thanks Dr. Jacobson."

"No problem sweetie. Remember, no running away. Run towards it and conquer it. If you truly want happiness and confidence, this is the ultimate test you need to pass."

"Yes ma'am." I sighed.

"I think it's safe to say that this will be our last session."

"W-What?"

"You came to me because you needed someone to talk to correct? I've helped you the best way that I could and did what I set out to do. I've made you stronger and more willing to open up about your past. Haven't you noticed your willingness to open up has increased?" I stopped and thought about it. I did tell Andre about every dark secret I held onto. Is that what she means? "Kayla, you have people who care about you. They want to be there for you. You just have to open up and allow them to. You don't need me anymore. Besides, your free therapy sessions have all been used up and I'd hate to have to charge you for things you and your friends can figure out. But I'm not opposed to you calling and stopping by for a chat okay?"

"Okay," I sighed. "Thank you Dr. Jacobson. For everything."

"No problem sweetie. I'm rooting for you." The call disconnected.

"I hope I really am ready for this." Dr. Jacobson never steered me wrong before so maybe I am ready. Just as I stood up to find Mr. Jackson my phone rang. It was my mom. "Hi mommy," I smiled involuntarily.

"Hey baby," she answered. "I'm so sorry about missing your call yesterday. It's been crazy over here. How's everything? Are the Jackson's treating you well?"

"Yes ma'am. Everything's...good."

There was a pause. "I heard that hesitation Kayla. I know you've been keeping a lot of things from me. I just hope, one day, you'll open up to me. I would do anything for you."

I was hit with a wave of guilt. I really haven't been telling my mother anything. And she was my first and only best friend for so many years. "I don't want you to worry about me mommy."

"I'm your mother. It's my job to worry about you. What's wrong?" And I told her. I told her everything I didn't tell her since coming to college. Josh, Chris, my depression, the drama with Andre, the harassment, all the bad things. "Oh my god Kayla," she cried. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought I could handle it myself," I sniffed. "I knew you'd want me to leave but the scholarships I have here wouldn't transfer over to a new campus and then I met April and I didn't want to leave my only friend. I know I messed up when I asked to see my dad and we couldn't afford to pay another school for my education."

"Kayla, you are the most important thing in my life. I don't care if I have to give up every dime in my pocket to ensure your safety. This is not something you just keep from me. I can't believe it. My baby was raped and I had no idea-"

"It's okay momma," I said quickly. "I've gotten past it. I know it was wrong for me to keep such a secret to myself. But I've healed since then. I've been seeing a therapist and she helped me a lot. She's part of the reason why I've been happier lately." I know my mom was still upset about the rape thing but she listened to me nonetheless. She showed her enthusiasm when I told her Andre beat Chris and Josh black and blue.

"I knew I liked him," she commented. "I have to thank him when I see him again. I knew that boy Josh was no good. I should've smacked him when I had the chance."

"Really momma?" I chuckled. I started getting into the more recent events and how my father showed up. She was pretty quiet after I told her. "I don't know what to do. Dr. Jacobson told me to talk to him but I'm scared."

"Baby, I told you that one day he was going to come back and the choice of what to do would be entirely up to you. I agree with this therapist wholeheartedly. It's time you face your problems head on instead of ignoring them. Listen to what Greg has to say and you make the decision on where you stand with him. Remember, I support you one hundred percent no matter what you choose or do."

"Thanks mommy."

We were silent for a bit. I was letting everything sink in when she finally spoke. "I should go. Call me as soon as you can alright? Even if you have to leave a voicemail. I love you baby."

"I love you too mommy." I hung up and made my way to find Mr. Jackson. He was in the living room walking towards me already. "Hey-"

"He's here," he grumbled. "I tried telling him you needed time and he wouldn't hear it. You want me to kick him out?" I was not expecting my father to show up to speak to me. Maybe it really is important.

"No. I guess it's better I speak to him face-to-face anyways."

"Okay. They're in my office. Right across from the dining room. The room is sound proof so you can curse him to hell if you want."

I chuckled. "Thanks Mr. Jackson."

"Anytime baby girl," he smirked. As I was walking away he stopped me. "Kayla," he was giving me a serious look. "You're a good person. Don't let anyone change that about you okay?" I nodded.

I made my way to his office but I didn't feel as nervous as I thought I would. Maybe it was the talk with Jacobson or even the conversation with my mom. I really don't know but for some reason, I had the feeling that I was fine. That I was going to be okay.

"I can't believe you Greg," the door was open a bit so I could hear what's going on inside. "Even after all this time you're