I spent the next year with Andre. He graduated and moved to Greece. He only did less then a semester in college before leaving. It's now my second semester or senior year. I'm eighteen. I finally found out what being in love would feel.

I cut things off with Marcelo.

I spent another month between two men. I'm still close to reya. We still hangout. Blair is already a fiancé. Which is amazing for her. Maybe very soon but it's okay.

Andre was here with only me and his football life. I think he was homesick. He always talked about moving back once he graduated. I couldn't keep that from him. No matter how much needed him to stay. I couldn't be selfish. Ten months is a lot.

My dad loved him.

Ten months of a lot of heartbreak. A lot of trust and fears. So much happiness and healing. I did it for ten months. And when those ten months ended I cried. For so long I just cried because my life before him had all his me back. Marcelo got a life sentence. That was recently. Two months recently. I didn't know how I should feel. Marcelo was always this half way open door. We never discussed our relationship on a deeper level. I wonder if it would be different since I'm eighteen now.

But he was complicated. I live in my own apartment now. I work. I'm stable. I'm content. I was okay for a long time. Now I'm content. I just want to be amazing soon.

Time goes by very fast when you're always busy. When you have nothing to worry about. It was only like that for a month.

I was driving with my dad to a restaurant. I wish I told him about Marcelo. How his little daughter cared too much for an older man. He would hate me. For not knowing better. He's happy I work, focus on school. I remember him telling me he's happy Andre left right when my college started up, so I'm completely focused which is wicked. I live only two hours away. Three on a bad day. I'm still close to him. He's suppose to be married again this summer. There relationship had been going very slow. She lives with him now. Which I don't mind since I've moved out.

"I hope this restaurant is good." He states .

"It is. I promise."

I promise.

I promise if you didn't die in that car that evening i would've told you. I would've went back and not lie to you. I would hug you for being an amazing father after mom died.

It was so quick.

So fucking quick.