Pilgrim's Highway - South of Plymouth, MA 

Mulder and Gibson hadn't spoken since leaving Boston. Though Mulder hadn't let on about his experience on the helicopter, Gibson knew. But knowing what was floating around in someone's head, didn't give Gibson the right to address those thoughts. It was something he learned at an early age - to treat other people's thoughts as private. After all, they were private to the person having them. 

"So, how'd you come to know Captain McGuinness?" Mulder asked. 

"His brother gave a lecture at the institute last summer." 

"What was it on?" 

"Exotic gravity currents." 

"I think I saw that on pay-per-view." 

"Exotic, Mulder," Gibson clarified. "Not erotic." 

"You know that explains so much," he smirked. "So... it's not everyone that can go ask the Coast Guard to let a complete stranger take a joy ride in one of their toys. How'd you pull it off?" 

Gibson checked his mirrors and maneuvered into the passing lane. 

"I did something I'm not real proud about but at the time... it seemed like the right thing to do. It was a family matter between brothers. McGuinness asked me to give him some insight into it. I thought I was helping. They haven't spoken since." 

"Chances are if you hadn't helped... one of them would still be..."

"Lying to the other," Gibson completed Mulder's sentence. "After everything was said and done, McGuinness appreciated learning the truth of what was going on behind his back." 

"And he said if you ever have a friend that needs to take a ride on a chopper, give him a call, right?" 

"Not really, no. We just went for pizza and beer, and he told me he'd seen some things he had questions about." 

"Like little green men?" 

"More like ships passing in the night. I told him that what he saw... I believe existed." 

"Being Coast Guard, I'm sure he's seen his fair share. You hear about the military chasing things they can't catch and seeing things they can't explain. It's a shame they spend so much time trying to cover it up." 

"They do, don't they? Cover up what they see." 

"I get the feeling that was directed more at me than at the Coast Guard," Mulder said.

Gibson's glance confirmed his suspicion.

"Don't go there, Gibson." 

"What choice do I have? I know what you saw, and I don't know how we're going to beat this." 

"I don't either. I just know we have to try. It's out there. It's the same one I saw in ninety-eight." 

"But Agent Scully..." 

"She's in there, and I've got to get her out. I can't let them do to her, what they failed to do the first time!" 

"Listen to yourself. You're the one that told us we're in this together." 

"I won't ask anyone to go in there with me." 

"What about William?" 

"What about him?" 

"You know what he is." 

"He's a kid." 

"He's more than that." 

"I won't risk his life." 

"It's not your choice!" 

"The hell it isn't. He's my son!" 

"And he made the choice before he ever knew you were his father! He's the best chance we've got. He's perfection, Mulder. The perfect alien-human hybrid. He's what you thought I was." 

"No." 

"Don't you get it? They can't touch him. He's more powerful than they are. The virus can't hurt him, and he can keep them away from him just by thinking it. Beyond that, he can communicate completely with them on a level I can't... and with their understanding... not ours." 

"No," Mulder shook his head. 

"Has he mentioned the voice?" 

"The twelve? Yeah." 

"Then you need to consider that before you go running off after Scully without us. I know you don't want anyone to get hurt, but think about the twelve and what that might possibly mean." 

"I have thought about it, but I keep coming up short. There's only ten." 

"Which means there's two more we don't know about yet. Whatever it is that's guiding us, we have to submit to it. If we ignore it and try to take this on alone... someone will get hurt because we're not standing as one." 

Mulder ran his hands through his hair and leaned his head back, eyes closed. He was so tired. Why couldn't he, Scully and William lead a normal life? No aliens, no impending colonization, no super-soldiers - just a normal life. He felt Gibson's questioning eyes, and looked over at him. 

"How do I wait on something I don't even know exists? Don't you understand? Without Scully... I'm nothing." 

"She'd say the same thing about herself but the fact is, you don't understand. Think about it. How do you think she's feeling? What keeps her going? You know she's alive. You felt her presence on that ship. What's protected her all this time? You know what it is, Mulder. You know, but you keep denying it." 

Mulder reached into his shirt pocket, retrieving Scully's gold cross necklace. He closed his fist around it, knowing it was her faith alone that kept her alive. 

"I can't compete with this, Gibson" he referred to the cross. 

"Then don't try to, Mulder. Just believe." 

Beach across from the RAT 

Mulder sat alone on the beach across from the RAT watching the night approach. As he sat in the sand listening to the waves advance and the tide grow stronger, he tuned everything else out, thinking only of Scully. The past week had been a blur, and he hadn't had time alone with her in his thoughts. Like he'd seen her do so many times, he fingered the cross around his neck where he'd secured it earlier. Unhooking it, he brought it before him in the fading light, trying to understand all that it meant to her. 

How pathetic. He really was nothing without Scully. Alone, he was little more than one man on a meaningless quest in search of something that had remained elusive to him since he was twelve. And now that it was right in front of him - now that he knew exactly where to find it, it meant nothing, absolutely nothing. He knew where the spaceship was, but the only important thing about it was Scully. None of what it contained mattered if she wasn't beside him. 

"Scully," he spoke as if she sat beside him. "I don't understand your faith or how it gives you the strength to keep going. I can no more touch your God than I can touch you right now, and I want so desperately to hold you. I want to see your face when you see William. I want that so much for you... for him. He has a connection to you that you don't even know about yet. He's been with you through all of this, reaching out to you and trying to protect you in ways I can't. He's incredible. I'm nothing. Beside him, I'm even less. I don't deserve either of you." 

He sat there, lips trembling, eyes clouding over. When he dared to close them, the tears spilled over the edges. He gripped the cross in his fist. 

"I wish I had the strength of your convictions to guide me... to tell me what to do. Tell me this is real... that it exists. Damned if I know what to believe anymore. I need you. I need you so much, Dana," he lowered his head. 

He knew he was speaking to Scully, but something deep inside of him stirred. It wanted out. It wanted to show him what he'd missed all of his life, but it refused to push itself on him. Only he could set it free. Then and only then would he find freedom. 

*** 

The sound of the waves drowned out Will's approach. He stopped briefly and looked at Mulder seated in the distance. From what he could see in the diminishing light, Mulder looked defeated - his head resting on his arms. 

Will thought of the only time he'd seen his father like that, sitting in the loft of the barn when his mother had lost a child. They'd been so excited about the impending birth. Six months later, she miscarried. Afterwards, Will went looking for his dad, and when he reached the top of the ladder that led up to the barn's loft, he found him seated exactly the same as Mulder was seated now - legs drawn up, head down, hurting and helpless. He didn't know what to say then. He had no idea what to say now, but he moved forward anyway and sat down beside him. 

He looked at Mulder - his eyes tired, his face drained. He was a man overwhelmed by his inability to control what was happening and what was on the horizon, looming in the darkness out of reach. He bit his lower lip and tried to think of something to say. 

"My mom lost a baby once," he decided upon. "I thought my folks would never be happy again. Talking to my mom about it was easy because she needed to talk. But there was stuff I wanted to tell my dad but, I... I didn't know what to say. Seemed like all he did was go off to be alone. I didn't understand it." 

"Why's that?" Mulder asked. 

"Because whenever something was bothering me, he always told me I could go to him... that I never had to face anything alone because he was there for me, but he did just the opposite and wouldn't let me help." 

"Adults tend to do that." 

"Well it's stupid. If God wanted us to be alone, he wouldn't have given us family. He could a just plopped us down anywhere, but he didn't. Can I ask you something? Do you believe in God?" 

"I want to believe there's something out there... something bigger than all of us... something eternal to hope in... but I don't know." 

"I've felt that way sometimes. Like when my folks were killed. I was so angry that God let it happen? I thought maybe there is no God." 

"You still feel that way?" 

"No." 

"What changed your mind?" 

"You." 

"Me?" Mulder questioned, the boy's answer taking him by surprise. 

"That night when you got sick... I was with you. I felt how much you loved her and how you felt like you failed her because of me," he lowered his head. "I don't know. I just knew right then that God was helping me to see that because... well, because I hated you before that, and he took the hate away. After that happened, all I wanted to do was help you, but I didn't know how. Like right now. I don't know how to help you." 

Mulder looked at William. He swallowed hard, wanting to hug him, but holding off. Instead, he opened his fist to reveal the cross necklace. 

"This is Scully's," he held it out for William. "She was wearing it the first day I met her and just about every day since. Her mother gave it to her when she was a young girl. Like you, I've seen her struggle throughout her life with understanding it, but I know she's never lost faith in what it represents. I know it's what she's holding onto right now," he paused. "I think she'd want you to take care of this until she comes back," he held out his hand. 

"I won't let anything happen to this," Will took the cross and fingered it. "I promise." 

"I know." 

"There's tons I don't understand about why this is happening, and why me. I know she and I are connected by this," he gestured at the cross. "There's something else too." 

"What's that?" Mulder asked. 

"The truth..." he said, holding out the cross. "It starts here."