"Have you seen him? Where is he?'' My eyes scan the field anxiously, hoping to spot the main reason I'm at our school's stadium right now.

Well, probably the only reason I'm here.

I bite my nails as I try to find Dylan in the crowd of players, but there's no sign of him.

They all look the same wearing the school's uniform and equipment, but I would be able to distinguish him from the rest of his teammates in the blink of an eye. What can I say? That's a skill I mastered throughout the years.

I take my hand to my chest and I feel my heart beating fast, like it does every time I'm about to see him.

''Relax, he's probably still at the lockers and should be out here soon. Our golden boy wouldn't miss his last game, now would he?'' Lilly looks at me with one of her perfectly shaped brows pulled up and a tiny smirk that makes me roll my eyes.

''Well, it is indeed the last game of his high school career, so of course he will be here. Plus, there's a farewell party ready for him afterwards, you know that."

''I know, I know, it's not like you've said it a million times.'' She states in a bored tone and tosses another popcorn into her mouth.

I know my best friend is highly against my crush on Dylan, but that's because she doesn't know him like I do. I don't understand how Lilly can be immune to his charms, if I'm being honest.

I mean, the guy is perfect.

The way he passes his hand through his blonde hair when it falls on his forehead, his piercing blue eyes, his athletic body and how he will wink at you knowing that your knees will get weak should be enough to get any girl to be head over heels for him.

That's actually what usually happens, if you consider that almost every girl in our school had a crush on him at some point. Except Lilly, I guess.

Lilly thinks I deserve better because she says and I quote "he's a Ken doll waiting to find his Barbie and I'm nothing like that."

She's actually right. Although I don't dress up very often, I am into stuff like make-up, but as I don't really know how to apply it, it is usually so light that I question why I even bother the trouble to put it on.

Not to mention that I'm far from being as tall and thin to be considered traditional Barbie material, with those long legs of hers. I mean, I'm not short, I'm 5'7", but my legs are regular and I could definitely use some exercise.

Maybe if I were a Barbie and did those things, you know, like dressing up, wearing high heels more often and putting more make-up on, Dylan would notice me.

I know for a fact that this is his type.

Just when my mind goes to the last time I wore high heels, which ended with me falling face first on the floor, Lilly's voice gets me out of my trance.

''Oh there he is. Your platonic lover is out there on the field.''

''Do you have to say it like this?'' I shot her a dirty look. I get annoyed every time she reminds me that Dylan and I don't have anything romantic going on. We're just friends, if that's what we even are.

I guess you can say that, even if he only talks to me when we're not at school. The thing is, we've known each other ever since we were born, well, ever since I was born, considering he's one year older than me. I'm about to go to my senior year at Millburn High School, while Dylan is graduating.

Our parents met on a trip to Europe before we were even born and they immediately bonded. They then found out that they lived in the same area. Such a coincidence, right?

The Wests moved to our city a couple of years later and they have been inseparable ever since.

That's why I've had more birthday parties at Dylan's house and more vacation trips with his family than I can count, as we have always spent part of our summers together at his parents' cabin upstate.

Well, except last summer, because Dylan decided to travel with his friends instead.

Going to the cabin was too boring without him there. I was left to spend time with...

''Bennett is here too.'' My line of thoughts is interrupted by my best friend and I look at her because it's like she was reading my mind.

She just said the name of the person I was thinking about.

I follow her gaze and I see a tall figure standing next to Denise and Peter West, aka Dylan's parents.

''Yeah, I've never seen him here before. He probably came to see his brother's final game before Dylan is off to college. He doesn't look happy though.'' I frown at the sight of Bennett, but I quickly look away when I see he's looking right back at me.

''He never looks happy.'' Lilly says and I nod. ''What's the deal with him? He's been quieter than usual, he doesn't seem to be interested in school, not even Chemistry, which is very weird. He just goes into the lab, does his thing and leaves as soon as the bell rings.'' I nod with her comment.

''I don't know. I think it's because Dylan is getting more attention than usual as he's graduating, maybe that's why he's annoyed. I won't ask, you know it's not like we're friends.''

I glance in his direction again, but this time his eyes are on the field, his arms crossed over his chest, his mouth a thin line that doesn't give away any sort of feeling.

Let me introduce you to the opposite of the shining light that is Dylan West. Bennett is Dylan's younger brother, but they are nothing alike. It's hard to believe they are even related, let alone siblings.

While Dylan is always wearing either his jersey or the colorful school's sports outfit, Bennett is usually dressed in colors that go from a range of black, gray or white, no other colors in between.

Dylan is the quarterback of the football team, while Bennett doesn't do sports and is always in one of the many labs this school has.

Dylan has the personality and charisma, Bennett has the brains. Not that Dylan is not smart, he's just not that smart compared to his brother. In his defense, no one is smarter than Bennett. 

You can only tell they are siblings because they both look a bit alike and incredibly good, in their own way at least.

Bennett also has blue eyes, but they are a very, very deep shade, in a way that you'd think they are dark, but a closer look and you can see they are actually blue. His short dark brown hair has some hints of a darker tone and he is taller than Dylan. I don't know his height exactly, but I feel small standing next to him, so I'm guessing he's around 6'3''.

Too bad Bennett's looks are clouded by his personality. As they are just one year apart - did I mention that Bennett is my age? - you would think that they'd be friends, but their interests are so different that I don't think they could ever be in the same social circle.

No, Dylan is the popular one, Bennett is the outcast.

I guess Bennett has always lived a little in Dylan's shadow. Being popular, people at school usually care about him while they think that Bennett is a weirdo.

I used to think that too, but we've spent a lot of time together throughout the years because of our parents' friendship, so even if people think he's super nerd and a bit strange, to me he's just... Bennett.

Still a nerd, but not as weird as people say. Or maybe he is actually weird, who knows? It's been forever that we don't have hangout, so I can't tell for sure who he is. 

''Are you going to spend summer with the West's this year?'' I realize I zoned out again, something that is a constant in my life.

I definitely need to work on that.

''Nah, Dylan is not going and I don't feel like spending time with Mr. Fun over there, so I convinced my parents to let me go stay with my cousin in Florida instead."

She nods in understanding. ''Well, you know what I think, right? This is your last chance to tell Dylan how you feel. He's going to college, Alex, college! So you can say goodbye to your fantasy of dating him. Plus, it's about time, you've been in love with him for what? Eight years?''

''Seven. Since I was ten, it was just a crush at first, but that's not the point. He might be going to college, but he's still going to live here in Millburn. I'm lucky enough to have him attending college nearby.'' She shakes her head disapprovingly.

''Lucky? I wouldn't call that luck if you still won't tell him how you feel. What are you waiting for? To be forty and full of regret that you could have said something a long time ago? Hell no, you're missing your chance."

I sigh, because she's so overreacting about this. As usual. 

Or maybe I just don't want to admit that she's right. 

''I will tell him, Lil. I swear. Actually, I have a plan.'' She raises her eyebrow, not convinced at all.

Ok, so maybe my plans usually end up badly, like when I wanted to skip a surprise test and convince one of our teachers that I broke my leg, when it was visibly fine. I should have chosen a different excuse, like a stomach ache or something like that.

''Really? Enlighten me then, because from where I stand, you'll be crushing over him for at least another year until it's your time to leave.''

The fact that I'll probably end up going to college away from home, twists my heart, because I know that I won't get to see Dylan as frequently when I'm gone, so I know this really is the year to tell him how I feel.

I've always wanted to go to college in Boston, which is far from here. Well, I love him, but I'm not stupid to jeopardize my future for him.

Fine, Lilly is right. I have to do something if I want my dream to date Dylan to come true. I had already thought about it and that's where my plan comes in, so I start telling her about what I'll be doing over summer.

Sarah, my cousin from Florida, is a fashion journalist who is more than willing to teach me how to dress better, how to wear makeup and how to have confidence to get any guy to be attracted to me.

I'm sure once I'm back, I'll be a different Alex. I'll still be me, but version 2.0.

Lilly looks at me intently once I'm done telling my plan and I'm sure she's mentally facepalming herself because she thinks I'm an idiot.

''That's your plan? Damn, you should really move on and give yourself some credit, Alex. You are beautiful the way you are, you are smart and you absolutely shouldn't need to change that for a guy who had his entire life to notice you, but never did."

Sarah tells me the same thing, that if I want to dress better and all, it's totally fine, but I should do it for me, not for Dylan. I'm sure she's making her mission to convince me that I need no man to be happy.

Not that I need to be convinced, I know that I don't need anyone and I do want to change for me. We all agree on that.

I'm always either wearing my black or red converse, combined with jeans and t-shirts. I'm so tired of my same old clothes and look. I haven't had a haircut in forever and I look too boring all the time.

It's my senior year and I just want to look different, grown-up even. I'm taking this as preparation for college. I want to be an adult by the time I go to Boston. 

If with that change I get Dylan to notice me, that's even better. If not, I'll be happy and confident for myself.

Unfortunately though, loving Dylan is what I've always done. It's not like I chose to be in love with him, it happened a long time ago. I just need to do something about it.

"What about Bennett?'' Lilly asks.

''What about him?'' I'm curious as to where this is going, although I pretty much know, because it's always the same thing. 

''He's smart, he doesn't care about appearances and he surely has his eyes on you for a significant amount of time. You should date him.'' She simply shrugs, like she's saying something obvious.

I almost choke at the same time that I laugh. 

There are so many things wrong with that, because a) I could never date Bennett, he's not the type that dates. I've never seen him show interest in anyone to begin with, b) He thinks I'm stupid with his smart ass, so he's always glaring at me and c) He probably looks at me a lot because his parents made him promise my parents that he'd always take care of me, so I'm pretty sure he resents me for that.

The list could go on and on.

''You've lost your mind, Lilly. Bennett and I are like oil and water, you know that. He's not even my type. Dylan is." I state confidently and she rolls her eyes at me for the millionth time.

"Bennett is a gentleman and excessively polite, even if he seems to be in a bad mood more often than not, while Dylan is just a player with a narcissist complex. You don't want to be the next girl in line, do you?"

I ignore what she says as I focus back on the field. I see Dylan giving Cara - the queen bee and head cheerleader - a short kiss, as he makes his way to the middle of the field. I look at their exchange wishing so bad that it would be me. I've pictured this so many times inside my head. Dylan playing while I'd be on the side of the field wearing his jersey, he'd come to me to give me a kiss in front of everyone.

Damn, I want to date him so bad.

I didn't even realize time went by so fast and it was already half time out, so he's coming from the lockers with the rest of the team.

Cara giggles and I sigh, knowing that she's definitely the flavor of the month. I know Dylan dates more girls than I would consider healthy, jumping from one relationship to another, but that's because he never found the right girl.

He never found me.

Getting back to Lilly's point about Bennett, I'm tired of telling her that he is indeed polite, but that doesn't stop him from being cranky.

He's still a gentleman though. You know, the holding doors, giving you his jacket when it's cold and offering you his seat type of guy.

Which I honestly don't get. How can someone glare at me and at the same time offer to walk me home when it is too late to go alone? Not that it happens a lot, but it did happen a few times. 

That's probably why people think he's weird.

I have tons of other examples of this contradictory behavior, but I won't go through all of them, because I'd be here all day.

I think he doesn't like to have me around him all the time, even if we're not friends anymore, but hey, that's my parents' fault, not mine.

We used to be close friends growing up, but that changed a few years ago. I don't know what happened, we just stopped hanging out, I guess.

Just when Lilly is about to say something that I'm sure is along the lines 'have you considered that maybe he has a crush on you?' just for me to say that she's blatantly crazy and should get professional help, we're interrupted by the whistle letting us know that a touchdown just happened.

Dylan made the perfect pass for Millburn high to score and everyone is cheering. Well, everyone except Bennett, who still looks like he would rather be anywhere else.

I put my focus back on the field and a big smile is on my face when I see Dylan celebrating.

Damn, he's just so incredibly perfect.

.........................

Hello Lovely Readers,

It's me! I'm incredibly thrilled to re-publish the first chapter! Small changes from the first version. I truly hope you enjoy it as much as I am enjoying it. 

I know that Alex may seem superficial at first and to have a shallow crush on Dylan, but trust me, that's the whole point!! 

Also, Dylan is a typical jock for a reason.

What do you think of Alex, Dylan, Bennett and Lilly so far? Not much to say about at them just yet, but share your thoughts with me! 

Love always,
Me