I have to admit something that terrifies me.

I think I had a moment with Bennett. I mean, I'm not sure, but the way we were looking at each other when we were stargazing can't be considered 'normal'.

It must be the stars that affected me, because there's no way I'd be attracted to Bennett if not in that situation... right?

I mean, he is attractive and all, but it's Bennett we're talking about and we're just friends, so yeah... this creeps me out.

I can't deny that he's not just attractive, but there's also the smart talk. Although he knows he is smarter than most people we know, he doesn't try to show off about it and that makes him even more handsome in my book.

Who doesn't like a guy who can talk about anything and everything, right? Well, even if this guy doesn't really like to talk that much. See, none of this makes sense.

I used to think he was a snob that looks down at the rest of us mortals like he knows everything when we're a bunch of brainless people, but now I know he's the opposite.

Has he always been this nice and I never saw it or maybe he changed as well? I don't know.

Getting back to the point, I confess I was indeed attracted to him and that scares me shitless.

That's why I didn't think about Dylan, that's why I suddenly wanted to hug Bennett and that is why I freaked out.

It's such a weird feeling.

It doesn't mean anything though. I was caught in the moment - it's normal to find people attractive, isn't it? - and now it has passed.

All I wanted to do after this realization was to meet my boyfriend and remind myself why he is perfect for me.

Come on, I'm dating Dylan West, the guy of my dreams, what else could I ask for?

That's why it was almost perfect when we met the day after. We got to hang out, we went for a walk, had ice cream and we met some of his high school friends that were in town for the weekend.

They were surprised to see us together as they know who I am, but they have never seen us even talking or anything, so it was new to them that we were even friends, I guess.

I was nervous at first, because this is different from meeting his college friends. I've imagined myself being friends with these guys for so long and now I'm actually hanging out with them.

However, I got bored with their shallow talk and how they were remembering the glorious high school days as if they graduated forever ago.

I've always wanted to be part of their group - the cool kids - while I'd be Dylan's girl, but now that it's happening, it just bores me out of my mind.

I want to spend time with Dylan and just Dylan.

That's what I'm hoping to do today as Dylan and his family are coming over to have Thanksgiving dinner with us. At this precise moment that I'm thinking about it, I hear my mom opening the door to greet the Wests.

"It's so good to see you, come on in." They walk inside and greet each other, a bunch of food trays in their hands. "Let's put all of this in the kitchen, shall we?"

She leads the way and they go to the kitchen to start preparing everything for dinner, but there's not really much to do. My mom spent the day cooking with my dad. Well, my dad was basically getting in her way and making a mess, but still, he thinks he was helping.

She would tell him to do simple stuff and he would obey like a puppy. It was so cute, to be honest.

As they chat and place the food on the counter, I see Bennett also helping, without saying a word.

He isn't just quiet as he normally is, he looks contemplative and I wonder what's going on with him. Maybe he is thinking about what happened between us too, but well, nothing happened, so I'm just probably overthinking as usual.

He is fully focused on decorating the turkey exactly as my mom asked him to, which gives me the perfect excuse to just look at him as I try to figure out how I feel.

For someone who is used to complex science projects, he looks damn cute trying to balance a cherry tomato on top of a huge Turkey, with no success I must say.

When I'm staring for way too long, I hear a phone ring, making me look away as I see Bennett taking the device from his pocket. He grins looking at the screen and starts typing.

I can't help but be curious as to who he's talking to.

Would it be Lilly? I bet it is. I completely forgot about Lilly and Bennett for a moment. Us having a moment is obviously just in my head considering he has Lilly, so there's nothing such as having a moment with me.

Pfff, what was I thinking?

Well, I have Dylan too, but that didn't stop me from being attracted to Bennet even if it was for only a tiny second.

Lilly has been dodging my questions about it, using the "I'm super busy, can't talk right now" excuse and it's honestly driving me insane.

I will definitely corner her into answering it this week, although I should mind my own business for my own good. I don't know how I'll react if she confirms that they are together.

I will be happy for her... I think. What am I saying? Of course I'll be happy, there's no reason to not be happy.

Anyway, they are probably wishing each other a happy Thanksgiving as they can't be together today. Actually, the thought makes me frown.

"Alex, could you please help us set the table?" My mom asks and I realize I was standing in the middle of the kitchen like an idiot as everyone else is doing other stuff, including Bennett is back to his duties with the turkey, the phone now back inside his pocket.

I get the fancy silverware my mom only uses on special occasions and I start placing them on the table, doing it incredibly slowly and not really paying attention to what I'm doing.

I need to focus. It's Thanksgiving, my family is here, we have our friends over, my boyfriend will be here at any second and I need to stop thinking about all this stuff about Lilly and Bennett.

"So Denise, where is Dylan?" My mom asks.

"He's still on campus with some friends, he said he'd be here in time for Thanksgiving dinner though." I reply automatically and suddenly all eyes are on me and it's dead silent.

When I look up, I find my mom's questioning, but amused look, my dad has a 'you guys are hooking up' kind of look, Denise has a surprised one on her face and Bennett has a deep frown.

Shit, ten times shit.

At least George is not here, he went to get something they forgot in the car or whatever.

It didn't cross my mind that it's weird that I know where Dylan is. I never knew his whereabouts, so I shouldn't know it now.

My mom was obviously talking to Denise, not me.

Why don't I think before I speak? I'm so stupid, jeez.

"I... he told me when we crossed ways earlier this week, so...." I don't know how to continue my blunt lie and the silence is still too much to handle, but thankfully, my mom intervenes to support me.

"Well, what is he doing on campus anyway? It's Thanksgiving, he should be home already." She says, looking at Denise, so it's clear this time that she's not talking to me.

Right, because my mom saying Denise's name wasn't a good enough hint to my brain...

I have to thank her later for stepping in. I know this is her way of making it less awkward for me. Trust me, it happened before way too many times, so I recognize when she's coming for the rescue.

''You know that boy, Lisa. He's always at a friend's house, I thought the whole point of going to college close to home was to be able to actually live here, but he stays on campus more often than not.''

''Talking about me, aren't you?'' With a perfect timing, we hear Dylan's voice as he makes his way in all his glory to meet us in the kitchen.

I can't help but smile at the sight of him. One look at him and all the reasons why I love him are back on my mind.

''Well, of course we were talking about you. I miss you when you're not home.'' His mom then says and gives him a tight hug.

I don't want to raise any more suspicions than I already have, so I rush to the living room instead of staying there to greet him, even though all I want to do is to hug him and never let him go.

I'm just sure one hug from him will be enough to never think about what happened with Bennett again.

After dinner is ready, everyone goes to the living room to spend some time together before eating like there's no tomorrow, which is my favorite part of Thanksgiving.

Apart from being grateful for everything, of course.

Our parents open a bottle of wine - I swear they should drink less - and start talking about regular stuff, as they usually do. You know, boring talk about work, the traditional trip the Wests are planning to do right before Christmas to visit their families, etc, etc.

Every year it's like a dejavu, we talk about the same topics, do the same rituals and I absolutely love it.

Well, apart from the fact that Bennett seems to be annoyed as he's looking at me from time to time like there's an enigma he's trying to figure out and also the fact that I can't kiss Dylan in front of everybody.

I can't explain, but I only relax when Bennett is finally out of sight as he got a phone call from someone and went to my dad's office to get it.

Would it be Lilly?

I control every fiber of my body not to go after him and eavesdrop on the conversation, but that would be rude, so I refrain myself.

Dylan then gestures for us to go to the kitchen as our parents are distracted, and we sneak out without them realizing it. Thank God for the photo album they have seen a million times - every Thanksgiving to be precise - as a way to live the adventures of their youth all over again.

It's keeping them distracted, so amem to that!

As soon as we get to the kitchen, Dylan holds my hand in his and pulls me towards him.

''I've missed you this week.'' I say, pouting. We haven't talked much - barely nothing - and for a second I wondered if he was done with me.

''I know. I'm sorry, I was busy with some assignments and there was this huge Thanksgiving party the frat was organizing. I wish you were there with me.'' I smile and he takes a strand of my loose hair to put behind my ears.

He leans forward and pecks me on the lips, letting them linger for a while. His lips taste like a mix of mint and beer, so I know he was drinking with his friends before coming home.

I don't mind though.

He doesn't pull away, actually deepening the kiss instead, until we hear our parents calling us to go to the dining table.

Before we are back with our families, Dylan pulls me back to him and whispers in my ear. ''Just so you know, I missed you too.''

I smile as I go to the dining room, where we see Bennett joining us too, his cheeks red, which only makes me wonder even more who he was talking to.

Why the hell is he blushing?

I try to ignore it as we eat and dinner goes by nicely. Dylan keeps answering my dad's questions about college and it amuses me how excited he is to talk about his life.

Bennett is quiet and our gazes are crossing ways a few times, but I quickly look away when it happens, focusing back on Dylan. I notice that Bennett doesn't look away though and I wonder for the second time what's going on inside his head.

Ok, maybe not for the second time, it's the fourth or fifth, but who's counting?

I wish we could talk to clear the air, however, I'll make a fool of myself if I bring up whatever happened because it was only in my imagination. We are just friends and that's all we'll ever be.

Before we call it a night, we all go back to the living room. Denise and I engage in a conversation and when she asks me about a book we are reading for English class before the break, I excuse myself to go get my copy to show her.

Maybe I made it sound more interesting than it actually is, but she has always been a bookworm and I like that about her.

I'm making my way to my room to get the book when I bump hard into someone.

Both myself and Bennett stumble back and look at each other surprised. He was typing on his phone again and didn't see me and I was just as distracted as I usually am.

"What are you doing upstairs?" I ask because he's in the middle of our hallway when everyone else is downstairs in the living room.

"Using the bathroom. The one downstairs was busy."

I raise an eyebrow. Couldn't he wait a couple of minutes? Not that it bothers me that he's up here, he always had a free pass in this house.

I bend down to get his phone from the floor, that only now I realized went flying from his hand. Before I hand it to him, I notice the name on the screen.

It says Kate.

Kate? I don't know anyone named Kate.

What about Lilly? Is he cheating on her? No, I don't see Bennett cheating, but I guess I don't know him that well.

I have so many questions, but again, it's not my damn business. Then why do I feel so irritated by all of this?

"Or maybe you just wanted a quiet place to type on your phone." I say sharply.

I point the device that is now in his hand with my head as I resume walking, passing by him while he follows me to my room.

"Should I know what you mean by that tone?" I simply shrug as I look for the book.

He leans on the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes following my every move, only to make me feel nervous.

"What's going on between you and Dylan?" He asks after a few moments in silence and I gasp.

"What about me and Dylan?'' Funny he's bringing this up now, probably to get the topic off him.

''Oh please Alex, you said it yourself, I'm smart. Do you really think I wouldn't notice you're going out with my brother?'' I gulp loudly, my mouth suddenly dry.

''Right, what if we are dating?'' I challenge him.

He seems actually surprised with my question and the look he gives me makes me feel even more pissed off. It's like he disapproves it, just like I thought he would.

''So you can be all cozy with my friend, but I can't date your brother?'' I challenge again as he doesn't say anything.

Suddenly I don't give a shit if he'll get mad that I'm dating Dylan or that I'll sound crazy because he has no idea what I'm talking about.

''Cozy with your friend? What the hell does that even mean?'' He uncrosses his arms and walks closer to where I am.

''I saw you and Lilly talking at school and from where I stand it looked a lot like you were intimate.'' Stop, Alex, for the love of God, please stop.

''You have completely lost your mind. For starters, Lilly and I are just friends and second, it's nothing remotely similar to you and Dylan.''

''Just friends? Oh, right. You seem to have a lot of friends, don't you?'' I stop myself before I say Kate's name, whoever Kate is.

''What is going on with you?''

''Nothing, Bennett. There's nothing going on with me.'' He suddenly seems worried, as if I'm acting like a crazy person, because that's exactly how I'm behaving. ''And just so you know, yes, I am dating your brother.''

I completely stopped looking for the book at this point. I'm just shooting glazers at him.

I don't what got into me to act like this.

''Of course you are. Well, congratulations. You finally got to date the guy." He throws his hands to the air. "I just thought you would know better.''

''What should I know better?'' I feel my nostrils inflating as I breathe nervously.

''Isn't it obvious? Dylan is an asshole, he doesn't care about you, he doesn't care about anyone.''

''Why are you always so jealous of your brother?'' He laughs out loud. It's a nervous laugh, but a laugh still.

''Jealous of Dylan? You can't be that oblivious, Alex. There's nothing to do with Dylan.'' I narrow my eyes at him. ''Let's forget about this, ok? If you're happy, then I'm happy. End of story."

Before I have the chance to say anything else, he turns around to leave, but he stops half way out the door and looks at me once again.

''Just do me a favor, don't even tell me when he breaks your heart, because all I'll do is to tell you that I told you so.''

With that he's out of sight and I hear him stomping downstairs.

I keep looking at my door where he just left. It doesn't even seem that we were having a great time stargazing and... having a moment.

No, that didn't happen. This guy is a completely different person than that day.

Not to mention Lilly and Kate...

Apart from wondering who Kate is, there's just on other question on my mind.

What the hell just happened?

.........................

Hello Lovely Readers,

How are you doing? Here it is today's chapter!!

Damn, Alex really IS oblivious, but well, at least she realizes they had a moment! I call it progress... Is she finally growing feelings for Bennett?

Aaaand she knows about Kate, even if she doesn't really know who she is (YET).

There's so much to happen that I can barely wait! <3

Share your thoughts, I'm loving it!!

Love,
Me