You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

Ashley Davis-Harris

The bitter wind swished on the window panes, but I felt nothing.

Confined in this penthouse, I felt nothing from where I was sitting on my most frequent spot in this whole place. A raised rectangular platform was on the front of the room, one side had no barrier to the first floor of the penthouse but the other side had whole floor to ceiling windows that acted as a barrier for me from the chilly wind outside. Sitting comfortably with my legs folded under me and my chin rested on the back of the settee, I gazed ahead with yearning.

I had hoped, snow would greet us early this time but November started and no sign of snow as par usual. As a child, I had been fascinated with snow like every other child but the feeling hadn't died down after I grew up. Snowflakes still brought out a rush of happiness from me and right now, I needed that happiness more than ever.

How did my life get here?

It felt like yesterday when Eric had proposed to me and papa had been immensely happy. Such a joyous environment in the estate but now, joy bleed out and it was all because of me.

How was it my fault?

I knew Papa had done something terribly injustice with Neil. Papa, in my eyes, was a saint but Neil saw him different. What papa did had to be a major thing or else, Neil wouldn't be so hell bound on destroying my family. Even though, Neil was to be blamed for what he did with papa and especially me, my thoughts were torn in between.

And it was all because of what I saw in my first meeting with Neil Harris. Whenever I think of cursing Neil for all the things he had done with me and my family, his anguish look would flash back to me. It was when he had been so into his past and bruised my jaw in accident. It brought out a feeling of tenderness from within me which was quite shocking since all he did was hurt me but still, the look of anguish that had appeared on his face will forever be sketched into my head.

Mama always said, I was too good for myself and I had never believed that to be true until now. Feeling compassionate to the man who threatened me into marrying him and destroyed any ties with my family, wasn't what any normal, sane person would do yet I still did.

Mama...

Who was that woman? Was she even the Mama I grew up knowing? She couldn't be. The things she said to me were unlike the things my Mama would ever utter from her very aristocratic mouth. In aristocracy, family name was held above all and there she was, asking me to abandon my family and live my life with my own terms.

Live...

For all my life, I had known to serve the family name and never tarnish what's the ancestors build. That was the definition of living to me but I had already tarnished my family's reputation and their trust in me. Now, I couldn't even recognize myself.

Locking my eyes with the reflected pair of eyes on the window pane, I mouthed. "So, how can I live, Mama? I don't even know how to."

The elevator dinged and then, the main door opened. I knew who entered but I didn't right my seating nor did I turn. My heart beat increased as the footsteps reached closer to me. I could feel his figure standing by me, his gaze on me then something dropped on my lap.

I looked down and found many brochures of....colleges? I frowned and lifted my head, finding his indifferent expression on me. My eyes strayed all over of him, his one hand in his pocket and other holding his suit jacket over his shoulder, few buttons on his grey shirt opened carelessly. The hard panels of his upper chest were visible, making me stumble in my vision.

A glint entered his eyes with a beginning of smirk over his lips and he dragged out. "Don't just stare." My eyes widened and I was about to deny when he added, with a brief look down on the papers. "Pick them up."

I knew he was teasing me but I choose not to take the bait which would, obviously, land me in an uncanny yet fascinating situation, and picked up the college recruitment brochures. My fingers going through them one by one and my eyes catching all the college names in Manhattan.

"Wha-what am I supposed to do with them?" I spoke up finally, my voice hoarse from being silent all day long.

"Choose one."

Then he threw his jacket beside me, on the arm of the settee and walked away. Literally turned his back on me and walked away to the open kitchen on the other side.

I glanced back and forth between the many colourful brochures and his back, snugged well in his clothes. I stood up with the brochures and followed him as he took out the two plates of meals covered with plastic wraps. The housekeeper finally arrived today and takeouts were a thing of the past now. He dropped them on the island and stepped back to take out glasses when I stepped in.

My fingers touched his cold ones as I took the glasses from him and gestured to the meals with my eyes. "I'll heat it up."

As the seconds passed by, he kept staring into my eyes until he shook his head and backed away from me. I gave him a questioning look when he quickly walked past by me to freshen upstairs, at least that's what I thought. My gaze dropped on the brochures beside the plates. I moved them to the side and started unwrapping the plates. Let's save the conversation for dinner.

Ten minutes later, he was on his way down, seeming completely as calm as he could be. I put the last piece of cutlery in place and picked up the wine bottle to serve it.

"Whoa." He stopped between the empty island and the perfectly set dinner table. "Are the Obamas coming over for dinner?"

My hands froze around the wine bottle and I gave him an anxious look. "What?"

The man of the house gave an once over his marble dinner table and leaned on the island. "What's all this then?"

"Oh." I let out before I could stop myself. And here I thought, the former presidential family would be over for dinner.

"Oh?" He recited back with an odd tone.

"Oh, thank God. I thought you were serious about the dinner guests." I clarified with a nervous laugh, my eyes darting toward his bare feet. A man was living with me or the truth was, I was living with him but the fact still remained there was a man around me who happened to be my husband and the only human being I see these days now.

Neil Harris was the first and only person I see after I wake up and before I sleep.

"Darling, I am rich." He reminded me with a shrug then added. "But not that influential." Turning around, he quickly changed back to the previous topic. "Why is the dinner not here?"

Now, I shrugged which was very unladylike if I may say so. "Well, since, there's an actual dinner table in this home, I thought of serving the dinner here."

"Is that so?" He taunted and pointed at the island once again. "But remember when we had dinner over here?" Then he looked ahead. "Or on the couch?" Then pointed to the stairs with shocked eyes. "Or up there in the bedroom?" Then, finally grinned at me. "Or when we didn't even care about having dinners together because we both loath each other's very existence? Ring a bell, princess?"

My fists clenched around the neck of the wine bottle and I placed it on the table before I embarrassed myself. With a tight smile, I answered. "No, I don't know what you are talking about."

The beautiful hazel eyes on this horrid man narrowed. "Okay, what are you upto now?"

I took a deep breath and pulled back the chair with more force than needed. Keeping up the pretend smile, I glided my hand over the plates, as if I was a salesperson trying to lure him to the sublime table. "Since we are having home cooked meals--"

"---Which you didn't make--"

Just like him, I intruded, with gritted teeth and perfect smile. "---It is only proper to serve on this exquisite dinner table which you bought with your well earned money. So, ofcourse, It is only proper I make use of this so that you can enjoy your dinner comfortably after a hard day at work."

When there was no mocking words thrown at me, I lifted my head to find him wide eyed at the table. A smile started forming on my face as I realized I've rendered him speechless but only for a second.

"Did you poison the food?!"

"Good God, no!" I burst out and slammed the chair back under the table, rattling the perfectly set of silvers. "Unbelievable! Has anyone ever told you how dramatic you are? Is it so hard to just sit by the dinner table and eat the food which I clearly didn't make because I can't make any, hence, which is obviously not poisoned?!"

I snatched the wine bottle, growling under my breath about men and their obnoxious behaviour. Pouring wine in my glass and I gulped it down to cool my dying throat. Taking another deep breath, I put on my pretend smile once again to face him. His mouth was parted and his eyes had a look that said he was dealing with a lunatic.

So, I composed myself and sighed. "A lady can have only so much patience, Mister." Thus, I explained. "I was only trying to be civil, since I would be living here everyday." And a pause, then reluctantly added. "With you." Then seeing the sardonic glint return in his eyes, I hastily added. "Until my family lets me back in."

Slowly, he advanced near, his bare feet making no sound like that of an animal predator nearing his vulnerable prey. "And which is when exactly?"

I swallowed and cautiously muttered, knowing full well I was already on the edge with him. "When you return Papa's business back to him."

And the cynical Neil Harris was completely back. "Yeah, right. That's not happening at all." He let out a laugh and pulled the chair for him that had dinner served before it.

"Then I don't know." I told him, in a voice barely audible.

He sat himself down and ordered. "Move."

"What?" I asked, baffled. "Why? I'm not even stan--"

"Move." He repeated and picked up his knife. Immediately, I took two steps to the side, getting away for him when he kicked the chair to his left and said. "Sit down and eat the damn dinner."

Frowning, I righted the chair and sat down, muttering. "You can be civil too, you know."

He thumped the bottom of his silver knife on the table and I stretched my hands ahead to hold the wine bottle in place.

"I know." He said with a snide. "But I don't want to."

My sight focused on his face. He didn't even blink when he said things like these. As much as I pretend his words never affected me, it would still be a lie. I pulled back my hands, picking up the two silverware needed and focused on the plate.

He sighed and I looked up as he rolled his eyes and swiped his knife in the air. "At least, you can set the dinner table."

For years, when you're eating on the dinner table back in the estate in complete silence, you're bound to find a way to amuse yourself. As a result, memorizing every last fine detail of table setting was my way. But upon hearing his twisted compliment, my hands tightly curled around the silverware. With the amount of time, my dear husband had me curling my hands, I would surely have holes in my palms from my nails.

"Won't I get a thank you now?" He leaned his head down and smiled mockingly, ofcourse.

I put on my best smile, giving a brief look down at his somewhat cold plate and restated his words. "Eat the damn food." Only to add. "Please."

Instead of getting angry, he was amused. "Oh, you can curse after all."

"I can curse a lot too." I admitted, getting a bit comfortable in the banter.

"Really?" He asked in an interested tone yet with his famous cynical smile.

I nodded with a newfound courage. "As I said, a lady can have only so much patience." Looking at him from beneath my lashes, I cut the meat on my plate with my knife and added. "While dealing with an infuriating man."

And he finally lost his damn smile.

******

As the next morning swooped in swiftly, a smile as beautifully as I could muster was already on my face as I await for my dear husband to descend the stairs in his usual work clothes. With an addition of a waist coat, he started climbing down with fast leaps when he noticed me.

My smile broadened and one of his foot froze in air above the last step.

"Good morning!" I greeted, readily.

Cautiously, he backed a step away and groaned. "Not again."

Well, it's safe to say after last night dinner, we were off to our separate beds without any further exchange of words.

And my perfect smile turned into a grim smile. "What?"

He shook his head and barreled down, turning left for the front door when I perked up.

"Wait. I made breakfast."

Instantly, he twirled back on his heel, barely escaping a morning hug with the marble floor. "What? How?"

I tucked in imaginary loose hair from my ponytail, behind my ear and gave a nervous laugh. "Well, it's just toast and coffee but still, I prepared them!"

Walking toward the couch, he placed his briefcase on it and raised his palms in front of him as if to ward me off, which was quite ridiculous since I wasn't attacking him....yet. "Okay, you want something. What is it?"

My shoulders slumped at his conclusion. Correct conclusion, might I add. But my eyes darted around the room, feeling the walls push closer on me and my determination lit inside me once again. No way, would I succumb to such confined torture.

With steel-like back, I met his wary eyes determinedly. "I want to go with you."

His hands dropped to his side as he tilled his head. "What?"

A side glance to his briefcase and I squinted at him, hopefully. "Take me with you?"

He stared at me for few seconds then asked. "You know, I'm going to the office, right?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed, with a grin.

Not at all fazed by my excitement, he went on, but slowly this time as if I was a child. "To...work?" Which deflated my joy and faltered my mind.

"Yes...." I answered, uncertainly.

Retracing a step back, he scowled at me. "No, not happening."

"Oh, come on." I stomped my feet in frustration and stretched my arms around me. "If I stay here one more day, I'd surely go insane. Just let me go with you. I won't be a bother. I swear."

"Oh, you'll definitely be." He scoffed then added. "But you stayed in the estate all the time. You hardly ever went out but now, you're complaining?"

I gawked at him and moved my head sideways. "Unbelievable! I wasn't sitting idly there all this time. I had things that kept me busy but here? Look around you! There's nothing to do here. You made sure I had no connection to the outside world. I don't even have any human contact for God's sake!"

His face hardened and he strode across to me. "Is that it? You want human contact?" Intense hazel eyes looked down on me as his hands curled around my arm tightly and grinned, pulling me smack over him. "Why didn't you just say so?"

I shivered, at the closeness, at the dark look in his eyes which promised many sinful touches. My hands came upon his chest, feeling the solidness beneath the crisp shirt. His eyebrows quirked at my move, thinking it was my approval. His head descended but grudgingly, I pushed him back, his grip falling away from me and disappointment flashing in his eyes.

Palming my hands, I kept them at the back as they nearly pulled him back for his addictive touch. This was my only moment. If I lose this opportunity of somewhat calmness between us, I might never get it back. Since, we always never see eye to eye, this moment would scarcely be back.

"Ju--st." I swallowed nervously, feeling the still lingering tingle on my skin where he touched. "Just take me out of this place for a while. It is going to happen eventually. I'll find someway to be out of here because I can't take this prison anymore. So, it's better if you just take me with you to avoid such occurrences."

"You wouldn't dare." He threatened.

But I flashed my teeth at him. "Try me."

All alone in this penthouse without any sort of entertainment was finally taking a toll on me. If I even had an internet connection, I could have at least done my research on the man I was living with but he made sure I had none. It was unavoidable now.

The more time passes, the more I felt the walls further closing on me. In one of those claustrophobic moments, the screen door under the staircase that led to the open swimming pool area was my only salvation. Breathing in the fresh hair, I stood on the granite paver beside the pool and let my body move to the constant silence, watching my reflection on the exterior glass wall of the room that could only be the study room from where Neil could overlook the whole swimming area, when I was not here, ofcourse.

Every bend, every twist, every pointed toes took me back to the room at the estate where we practiced all our dances. With every move I made without any restrictions, I felt free and alive. But that lasted only for a while before I was back inside the prison.

Shaking his head once again, he went to get his briefcase. "What will you even do there?" Before I could even think of an answer, he frowned down at the brochures on the coffee table. "Did you even choose a college? Instead of this drama, you should be choosing a damn college!"

I turned to it and something clicked in my head. "Ah huh! That's the thing!" I cried out, frantically picking up the brochures and grinned. "Take me to your office and I'll look for some kind of inspiration and choose a college which I'm still not sure why would I...." Catching the pointed look on his face, I shouted. "But I will! I will choose!"

He gave me a flat expression. "Inspiration? Do you think of me as a fool?"

Yes. A dangerous fool, but I didn't say that out loud.

"Just take me outside, let me out of this place." I uttered with no dignity left and gestured to the coffee maker on the counter along with a plate of not so warm toasts. "I even made breakfast for you... which is getting cold by the way."

He glared at me before facing the open kitchen and sighed.

A triumphant smile started forming on my mouth. His sigh said it all. I let out a loud hoot and ran towards the stair before any doubt entered his mind. "Thank you! Thank you! Just give me ten minutes. Finish your breakfast and I'll be back."

"What? Wait, I didn't even agree!"

I halted, halfway at the staircase and peeked at him. "I promise, I won't be a distraction. You won't even notice me."

He barked out a bitter laugh. "Like that's possible."

"Please." I requested, looking down at his stiff body.

He gritted his teeth and growled out. "Five minutes."

"Bu--"

"If you're not back in five minutes, I'm leaving and I'm locking the door!"

I nodded and sprinted to my bedroom.

*******

A/N: Hey Everyone.

I apologise for the wait but the days are really tough on me. Quite emotionally drained. I can't explain further. It's a miracle I wrote anything but hope it is still interesting enough. Good day and take care.