The next day, the warrior comes to me and tells me that the king's messenger has arrived and summoned him to court immediately. That explains the servants scurrying to pack his trunks and provisions.

"I would take you, but as you pointed out last night, you wish me to stay away from you. So, my lady wife, I shall take her with me instead of you, while you remain here, alone as you wanted. You see? I am a considerate husband who gives his wife what she wants. You may want to consider in the future what you ask of me because I assure you, if it is mine to give, it shall be yours."

I refuse to wave off the party going to court. I have no need to see her riding beside him, her triumphant smile telling me she knows she is preferred over his wife. She holds the warrior's heart; she sleeps beside him at night when he leaves my chambers.

Since I have no idea how long the warrior will be away, I decide to take action. I am tired of having to live my life at his whim. So I ask two young servant boys to bring me two trunks from the attic. They are eager to help and in no time I am packing my dresses and undergarments and shoes and cloaks and hats. One of the things that the warrior had entrusted to me was communication with his nine estates. Should a problem arise, I could handle it or turn it over to the warrior for judgment, but in this he trusted and respected my training. Since he was gone for an unknown time, I decided it was time the lady of the estates met each steward.

The young servant boys happily carried my trunks to the coach and tied them on. Now came the tricky part and dealing with the head guardsman.

"My lord Carrington has asked that I do a tour of his estates while he is on the king's business. I'll need two guards with me. My husband suggested Cheswick and Folroy."

The ones who couldn't read or write, so they could not communicate with anyone on our journeys.

"My lady," Gadding said, "My lord did not mention this to me."

Giving him my most assured and haughty look, I stared him in the eye. "Are you questioning my husband's orders to me? The order he gave to me in a rush due to his unexpected need to attend to the king so suddenly?" I pulled back a little and then hit him with, "Are you saying I am lying about something so important? Would you like to explain to the warrior why I am still here when he returns, my mission not completed?"

As expected, he immediately began to bluster his apologies and said that he would have Cheswick and Folroy make themselves available immediately for our trip. Three hours later, we were off and for the first time since arriving at Bellford Keep, I felt free. After our first estate visit, I told Cheswick and Folroy that I had a letter from my husband summoning them back to Bellford Keep.

I traveled not only to the warrior's nine estates, but also spent two weeks here and there with six different cousins of mine. When we left one estate, I told the steward there where we were going next, and then proceeded to go to a different place. I worried that as we visited one estate, the warrior would have an easier time narrowing down our options, so that was when I interspersed our estate visits with visits to my cousins.

After the first month, I began to suspect something.

After the second month, I knew.

That last night of pleasure before my husband left for the king's court had filled me with a baby. At seven months along now, with all of our visiting done, I was going to head home. Part of my reasoning for visiting the estates was to select my favorite one, and so I did. That it happened to be the farthest from Bellford Keep was part of its allure. Fernwick was much smaller than Bellford, more rustic, but near a charming village that had excellent midwives. It felt homier to me, the right place to enter my confinement period and to birth my child.

My hand smoothed my belly and I felt my child kick heartily. Smiling at the movement, we played a little game of press and kick, wherein I would press against the tiny foot or bottom and my baby would kick back. My midwives had given me much advice, and contrary to the established norms, they did not believe in lying-in period. Instead, they encouraged me to be active and to take daily walks.

So I did, along paths with trees arching over them and wildflowers scattered along the way. One of my favorite places to walk was along a creek and the sound of the water moving slowly over the rocks soothed me.

Every morning I walked into the village, stopping at the bakery and wandering among the other shops, greeting the villagers. I made friends with all of the wives, who did not stand so much in awe of me as their husbands did because of who my husband was.

I invited the ladies to Fernwick once a week, to talk and discuss happenings in the village. At first, they seemed scared to join me, but after the first two gatherings, we chatted and laughed easily. I had never had friends like this before, and certainly none after my marriage.

They'd even gathered the courage to ask about the warrior and I told them that we would live separately.

"He has...another to keep him company and they suit one another."

Each one of them looked affronted and I know that the poor had different types of unions, but openly carrying on with another who was not your spouse was not acceptable.

"I cannot believe he would choose another over you," Maggie told me brashly. I adored Maggie as she spoke her truths unflinchingly. She was also one of my midwives. "You are his wife."

"Only to give him an heir. Nothing more." I laughed as a particularly hard kick took my breath. "And it is fine. I will have my child and a quiet life here and I will not have to see him with her."

After a few weeks of settling in at Fernwick, I wrote the warrior a short note. As we had traveled, following each visit at an estate, I sent him a brief summary of my visit, letting him know that things were in order. There was nothing personal in my communications to him; I did not inquire after him, nor did I say anything about my health. Unless he was in touch with the stewards of the estates and they had spilled my news, he did not know of his impending fatherhood. I determined I would have to write him with news of his child; I could put it off no longer. If he wasn't still at court, I'm sure he was busy with her and might care about my news only if I was delivered of a boy.

This note I sent from Fernwick was straightforward. I told him I had begun my confinement and offered him a chance to do the right thing.

I am at peace at Fernwick. Although I know very well you do as you want without regard for my wishes and well-being, I beg of you not to do anything to upset my quiet life here. In case you have not heard, I am with child and it is better for the baby if I am not constantly upset, sad or at war with you. Plainly speaking, I do not wish to see you or her here. I will send you news of the child after I am safely delivered. (And if I am not, then I have made arrangements for the babe to be guarded until you can be summoned, and my midwife, Maggie, will care for the babe and find a wet nurse. I have informed several people that I trust as to the location of a letter I have written to you that should be sent in the event of my death.) The midwives believe the babe should arrive in five or six weeks, so you should expect a letter sometime after that.

I prayed he would allow me to live at Fernwick and never destroy the peace I felt here with her presence. It would all depend on how much he hated me, I supposed. After all, the last time I asked him to stay away, he had and moved her into my rightful place to teach me a lesson. Our marriage was filled with nothing but fights and hurt...and her.