I was standing in front of the mirror, hair curled and makeup is done, pretending like this was going to be a normal date when I knew it was anything but normal.

Rafael had sent me a text about thirty minutes ago asking to take me to dinner, on an actual date.

That, I was excited for. This, not so much.

I didn't know much about Sam, but I had heard the girls talking when I had been training with Raf and Gabe. From what I heard of their conversations, he hadn't exactly waited. Then again, if wolves were anything like humans, I knew it could all be lies.

There were plenty of times in school that guys and girls alike would lie about who they slept with to sound cool, or to gain brownie points with their friends when everyone knew they had never actually spoken to each other a day in their lives.

All I asked for from both of them was honesty.

I was finally done pitying myself and decided it was time to go on this lunch date with Potential Mate #1.

I walked across the hall and knocked on his door. It was 12:45, and I had not rested a bit. I showered, cried, sat in the shower until the water ran cold, then got in the bath and shaved my legs and cried some more. I did my makeup, then cried, and had to do it over again.

Crying seemed to be my only answer. It made me feel a little bit better, but crying about this wasn't actually going to get me anywhere. So it was about time for me to woman up and get my shit together.

He answered the door and was finishing up buttoning his shirt.

"Ready to go, Deirdra?"

"Absolutely, where are we going?"

"There's a restaurant in town called Twisted Simply. They have great food and even better drinks. It's on pack land, so you needn't worry about an ID or anything. In werewolf world, we're allowed to drink in town at age 18. Able to shift, able to drink."

He was laughing at his own joke and I gave a simple smile. I wasn't really in the mood to laugh, and I knew he could tell.

"I'm sorry, Dee. This has got to be hard for you. I couldn't imagine being in your shoes, but just know it will work out exactly how it's meant to, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you for being so understanding, Sam. I am truly looking forward to this."

Not a lie, but not exactly the truth either.

After a short walk through the pack and into the downtown area of the pack, we were there.

As soon as we stepped inside I was overwhelmed by the divine smell of the food, cue the super un-lady like growl that my stomach chose to make.

A furious blush rose to my cheeks as I placed a hand over my overly excited, and empty, stomach. "Sorry. I haven't really eaten since the night we all had those margaritas together. I was so nervous the day of the shift that I couldn't keep anything down, not that I had really wanted to eat anyways."

"You should eat, Deirdra. You'll find that wolves eat a lot more than humans do. But thankfully, our fast metabolisms burn it all up, so we're saved from obesity."

I laughed with him on that one, if only we could say the same for humans, we probably wouldn't be dealing with such an epidemic in the US.

We sat in the bar at a high top table and a young girl, probably around 16 or so greeted us.

"Good afternoon Alpha, Luna."

She bowed her head in respect, but I paled at her words. The news really did travel fast in the pack, but it didn't look like either one of us was going to correct her.

"Good afternoon, Eve."

She seemed polite enough, but kept her head bowed out of respect for her "superiors."

"Today our special is shrimp and grits, and because it's before two we are still serving our breakfast sangria. Would either of you be interested in that?"

Sam looked at me for confirmation, but I couldn't answer him, so I just nodded.

My throat was thick with emotion and my eyes had welled up with tears. My mother always made the best shrimp and grits, it was a southern staple for sure.

"Deirdra, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Sam's voice was full of concern, giving away that I was not doing a good job of masking my emotions.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just reminded me of my mom is all. Shrimp and grits are actually one of my favorite foods, and my mothers were the best. I'm sure this will be good, but it reminded me too much of home."

He nodded in understanding and took my hand.

A gasp escaped my lips and his eyes went completely black, letting me know that he had felt it too.

The skin to skin contact sent the most delicious tingles all over my hand and up my arm.

Clearing his throat he let go, and I swiftly pulled my hand to my lap.

"Oh, uh. That's a mate thing. No one is sure why it happens, but whenever mates touch, there is a tingle where one's skin meets the others." He seemed uncomfortable sharing this with me, and I made a mental note to not touch him or Rafael directly until I made my decision.

The feeling sent other....feelings to a different part of the body that did not need to be explored by either of these men until I was sure who I was going to choose.

"So, listen, Deirdra. I need to come clean about a few things. I have a less than stellar past, but I'm going to be completely honest with you about it. I will understand completely if it makes you not want me, but I need for you to know this about me before making your decision."

As soon as he finished, Eve came back with our sangria and our plates. The meal looked amazing, and my stomach once again growled at the sight and smell, begging me to dig in and fill myself up.

The way he worded it made me nervous. Maybe what I had heard wasn't a lie.

"Okay, I'm listening."

He picked up his drink and drank almost half of it before continuing with what he was going to say.

I was too busy stuffing my face full of the most delicious shrimp and grits I had ever had (sorry mom), to even think twice about my sangria.

"Let me just start by saying that I was stupid. I was a complete and utter moron for doing things I did and feeling the way I did. Looking back now, I wish I could take it all back, but I can't, and I'm sorry."

I took a hard gulp of my food and had to wash it down with my drink while nodding for him to continue, but I could already tell that whatever he was going to say, wasn't going to be good.

"Before I met you, I never wanted to find my mate. I saw the way my friends changed when they found theirs and I never wanted that for myself. So I didn't wait. I lost my virginity after my first shift when I found that none of the females in the pack were my mate. So I didn't see any sense in waiting. A girl I had been friends with for years before was who I lost it to, she gave me hers as well, but she was younger, hadn't had the chance to find her mate yet.

"She didn't seem to mind much though because she had it in her head that she and I were going to be mates, but she knew how I felt about them. Her name is Brittany, she's Rafael's sister."

I cut him off by almost choking on my food, I know that it could just be a coincidence but Goddess please don't tell me that Potential Mate #2's sister is the devil that fucked my boyfriend.

"Brittany. She didn't potentially move away to Thomasville a few years ago, did she?"

"Yes, that Brittany. She and I kept in contact while she was living there with some relatives from her mom's old pack, I know what she did to you by sleeping with your boyfriend, I'm sorry for that."

Good lord, I just could not catch a fucking break, could I?

"Go on." Even though I had already had enough of this story, I owed it to him to let him finish.

"I'll admit that I've pretty much slept with almost all of the unmated females in this pack, except for the ones who are saving themselves for their mates. It wasn't until recently, though, that my eyes were opened to just how stupid I've been over the years. My father opened up to me and told me he had felt the same way and had slept with another woman before meeting my mother. But she forgave him and he knew immediately that he should have waited because he would do anything for my mom.

"I guess the reason I'm telling you this, is because I don't want there to be any secrets between us. I want you to go into this knowing exactly how I used to feel, and not be blindsided by it later on if you did choose me. So I'm sorry, Deirdra. I'm sorry I didn't wait, I'm sorry I didn't believe in any of this until recently, but I do hope you can look past it and give me a chance."

My heart ached in my chest. I knew it was going to be bad, but hearing he had never wanted his mate to begin with? Mates are sacred. I've been a werewolf for all of five minutes and I was already prepared to wait a hundred years if I had to for my mate, because there would never be anything more special than that in my life. Yet here he was, a man that was supposed to be, that could have been mate, sitting in front of me telling me he never wanted this.

"How am I to know that you won't change your mind about me? That in a few years time, you'll get tired of me and some new cute piece of ass won't come through and steal your attentio-"

"It's not like that Deirdra and you know it."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't finished. If you don't mind, I'll continue."

I was glaring at him, my knuckles were white from the force I was gripping the napkin with under the table. How dare he say it's not like that when it most certainly is.

"Samuel, to say you don't believe in mates hurts me. It offends me, actually. A mate is a gift given to us by the Moon Goddess, someone to compliment us perfectly and be there for the other through everything, for eternity. But you sit here before me and tell me you never wanted it. You also sit here before me and tell me that your longest booty call just so happens to be the slut that took advantage of my boyfriend when he was drunk, and got him to fuck her in his best friends bathroom?

"You must be absolutely delusional to think I would even entertain this knowing the level of disrespect you held for your mate, without even knowing her. Maybe if it was someone, anyone else, they could look past this. But not me. I can't look past disrespect and infidelity. Whether you knew me or not, you still knew there was someone out there waiting for you, looking for you, yet you went and slept with whoever you wanted because you didn't believe in it.

"So if you'll excuse me, I'll be going now. I will pack my things back up from your house, and I will be leaving. I'm sorry, but I can't in good conscience choose you when I know this now."

With that, I set my napkin down and walked out.

If it had been one or two women, I may have been able to look past it. But as many as he's claiming? There is absolutely no way. It wouldn't even be special to him, it wouldn't mean anything anymore.

Plus, I'm just a virgin. I wouldn't be able to satisfy him the way the other girls did, nor would I even want to.

Even though Rafael is related to the devil in red stilettos herself, my mind has been made up.

I choose Rafael.