"I don't even know what to begin to tell you to do, son."

That was helpful.

"I want her, dad. I haven't even really had the chance to get to know her yet, but my heart aches for her. My wolf is the quietest he has ever been. What will I do if she doesn't want me? What if when she learns of my past, she runs to Rafael's open, untainted arms?"

"Oh, honey. You are not tainted. Your past doesn't make you a bad person. I didn't look at your father any differently because he didn't wait. I was hurt, sure, but that didn't make me want him any less. You just have to be honest with her. Honesty is key to every relationship, Sam. Remember that, and you will be fine."

"But what if honesty isn't enough? It's not like she has to forgive me when she has Raf there waiting for her as well. What will I do then?"

"Well, in some cases, the goddess will bless you with a second chance mate. I feel like, given the circumstance, she will give you or Rafael a second chance. There is just no way to tell right now, it hasn't even been a full day yet." My father was wise, I had to give him that. I had heard of second chance mates, but it was rare.

Most of the wolves who were given a second chance had been upstanding citizens of the werewolf community. I have not been any such thing. I may be a good Alpha, but that's about all I have going for me.

"I guess so. But in the meantime, I'm moving them both in the pack house. I don't think Rafael is the type to try to bad mouth me to win her over, but I don't want him having more time alone with her than me. I want us to have an equal shot in this, not one more than the other."

I was explaining myself as if they had even asked for an explanation for my actions. When in all honesty, it just made me feel better to talk about what was going on in my head.

There was a knock at the door, and I smelt her.

She had the most refreshing scent I had ever come across. Like honeysuckles mixed with fresh rain. It was cleansing. Most she-wolves I met smelled more like perfume than anything, not letting their natural scent shine through.

I could also smell Rafael. He had mind linked me while I was talking with my parents about just staying in his place, but I never answered him. I wanted to sit down with both of them and explain why I wanted them both to move into the pack house until she made her choice.

"Mom, dad, thank you for listening to me and trying to help. But I need to go talk to them now, and try to make some sort of plan for how this is going to work."

They nodded in unison and got up to head up the stairs to their side of the house. They were only staying here until their "retirement home" further in the mountains was finished being built.

"Come in, please. I would like to talk to both of you."

It was hard for me to look at her, so I just kept my head down as she walked in. My wolf was whining for his mate, and I hated that I couldn't indulge him and take her away with me. I hated that we were even in this position.

Once we were all seated in the living room, Deirdra on one couch, Rafael on another, and me in an armchair in the middle, I dove straight in.

"I've asked you both to stay here so neither of us has more time alone with you than the other. I want this to be completely fair. I won't try to sway you, either way, Deirdra, I just want a fair chance with you. With that being said, I will show you to your rooms, then I would like to take you to lunch. If you want?"

I felt like a nervous child, not a strong alpha male.

"I would love that, Alpha Samuel, thank you."

"Please, Deirdra, just call me Sam."

She seemed to perk up at this and nodded eagerly.

I stood and motioned for them to follow me upstairs to my side of the house. There were three guest rooms this way, and I wanted them both close to me if anything happened.

This was reminding me of that dumb ass show "The Bachelorette," where there were like fifty dudes competing for one girls love and affection. Except, it wasn't fifty, and it wasn't just for affection. It was for my mate.

After showing them to their rooms, Deirdra informed me she was going to shower and get ready for our lunch date.

I hate that she called it a date right in front of Rafael because the pained look on his face made me feel terrible.

"Okay, it's only about 10:30 right now, let's say 1 o'clock. I'm sure you need a nap or something before we do anything."

"Yes, actually. That would be wonderful. Even though I'm not too sure I'll even be able to sleep. There is way too much on my mind to even think about resting right now."

That I understood all too well.

"Well how about this, you do what you need to do, and come get me when you're ready? My bedroom is right across the hall there. Just knock and I'll be right out."

She smiled politely at me and went to her room, shutting the door, and leaving me standing there staring in the direction of where she once stood, wondering what the actual fuck I was going to do if she rejected me.

I had only a few hours to talk with Deirdra as I helped her pack up her things, and she with me before we were heading over to Sam's house.

I had no idea where to even begin with what to say to her, but I tried my best to be comforting. I could tell this was eating at her just like it was with me, by her absolute silence. She hadn't spoken since we were all in the field together, and I was not about to press her.

"Deirdra, just know that no matter who you choose, you won't lose me as a friend. I promise you."

She seemed happy with what I said, but then I wasn't so sure as she sat on my bed and cried.

"Raf, I have no idea what to do. I'll admit that over the past few weeks I have been feeling more than friendship towards you. You found me at the lowest point in my life and then helped me piece everything back together when my human life was stolen from me. You trained with me, you stood by me when I said hurtful things to you, and you've held me while I cried, every single time I've cried.

"I've barely been around Sam, but aside from physical attraction, I don't know what there will be between us when he's in competition with someone I'm already in love with."

I was taken aback by her words.

Did she love me?

I was beginning to feel the same way for her, but I wasn't going to say anything because I knew I was still waiting for my mate, and I knew everything would change when I met her. Little did I know, I already had met her, and I was already in love with everything about her.

"Deirdra, I love you too. I know I shouldn't say it with everything going on, but I do. I wasn't going to say anything about it because I knew I was waiting for my mate, but now that I've found her, her being you, I don't know why I should hold back. But I want you to give Sam a fair chance. He really is a good guy, and I know if you choose him, he will be able to give you a great life. Just know that all I want is for you to be happy."

My voice cracked at the end because even the thought of her being happy with someone that wasn't me was enough to send me over the edge, but I couldn't let her see that. I needed this to be fair.

I also just wanted Sam to be honest with her. I explained to her the importance of mates from the moment she found out about werewolves, and knowing her past and what she went through with Taylor, I wasn't sure how she was going to handle finding out about Sam's inability to wait, and knowing that he never even wanted her in the first place.

This was going to be hard, there was no doubt about that, but I was confident she would make the right choice, I was confident her wolf would guide her and help her make the right choice.

But selfishly, I wanted it to be me. I wanted her to choose me, to love me.

But it was all up to her, and there was nothing I was going to do or say to potentially sway her in either direction.

Goddess, why did you throw this girl to the wolves, her first day as a wolf?