The hosts were doing their thing in kimono's as I walked around serving as per usual, giving the hosts more time to do what they usually do. "Oh tamaki, oh dearest tamaki, why are you so beautiful?"

"I'm hoping to catch your eye, even if for just one second."

"Then why is your voice oh so very sweet and mellow?"

"To set your nerves at ease, so that my true feeling might reach your heart."

"Why are your eyes filled with tears every time you look at me?"

"Because your beautiful smile, makes the fountain inside of me start overflowing." He said, his voice quivering, making me gag silently. I swear, he's so cheesy. I'm so glad he isn't my soulmate. I don't think I could handle it to be honest, and not in a 'I'm gonna squeal till I combust way', but a 'oh my god, I'm gonna fucking kill him' way. Although I know someone who secretly swoons over those kinds of things, and I was looking at her right now. 

Haruhi may have a tough exterior like me, but I know everything about her, and she knows everything about me. And I know for a fact, she secretly goes crazy on the inside for lines like that. I know, it's so cheesy, but she loves it anyways. Hell, she has so many cheesy love novels at home that she reads and re-reads every year. (Then again, I'm no better with my horror or even more steamy books, but that's for another time)

The twins were doing their twincest thing, and I was very much starting to think they weren't really jokes, but I digress. I know everyone here is a good actor, except haruhi, who can't lie even if her life depended on it. 

"Haruhi, you look so cute in your kimono!"

"Almost like a girl!" I held back a snort by biting my tongue, hoping the pain would make me not laugh. Luckily for me, it worked. Otherwise, I'd have to come up with a joke really quickly, and I'm terrible at improv. 

"Thanks."

"Haruhi, you booked another appointment. It seems you've had a steady stream of new customers lately, and y/n has been doing a spectacular job with her job as our maid. Keep up the good work, both of you. I'm not charging interest on your debts like I normally would, so keep this up and you two should be able to pay it off. Of course, the rental fee for that kimono is nothing to sneeze at, same with the costs of that outfit you wear y/n." I sighed, I know haruhi's trying to keep up with the numbers in her head, but I think we still owe somewhere in the 4 billion yen range, so around 36 million usd. 

"Hello kyoya."

"I can't get over how great you look in that kimono. Are you planning on releasing any more picture books of the host club?"

"Unfortunately we don't have anything planned at present ladies." 

"But doesn't the club make a lot of money-"

"From the sale of promotional items?"

"That's true but the items are of poor quality. Those picture books were full of nothing but amature hidden camera shots. However if we wanted to make some higher quality money making items, I'm afraid we'd have to draw from the school's budget?"

"Why not just ask y/n to do some things?"

"Hmm?"

"Yeah, they're here on a writing scholarship, right? Surely they're good enough to write some things for the club. maybe even take some photos."

"Yeah, she's really good at writing. Remember when we read it over her shoulder? We had to keep reading, it was just such a good story!"

"But then, she said if you wanna read the whole thing, buy a copy when it's published."

"I hadn't thought of that. Y/n, come over here please." 

"One second!" I headed to the kitchen to put the tea set down, before going to kyoya. "Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all. In fact, the twins gave me an idea."

"Oh? And what would that be?"

"I would like you to write stories about the hosts for the customers." I stared at him blankly. 

"You want me to what?" 

"I believe you heard me the first time." 

"Kyoya, if the hosts aren't okay with it, it's a huge invasion of privacy. You basically want me to write fanfiction of the hosts, and then what? Sell it to the guests?"

"Yes, precisely. Although I was unaware that it had a name."

"When you're a writer, you look things up a lot." 

"I'll discuss it with the hosts in private. All I request is that you keep it appropriate."

"Of course. But what's in it for me?"

"Each copy sold is 100 yen off your debt. And considering your skills, plus how eager ladies are for more things, I'm sure they'll fly off the shelves." I sighed. It was a good point, and a good deal. 

"Fine, I'll do it, but only if the others are okay with it. I can do a short story for each host, and we can put them in a collection, deal?"

"That works perfectly. I look forward to seeing what you come up with." The twins snickered, listening in on a conversation like this. I couldn't blame them. It's not every day that someone asked you to write fanfiction for them, more or less for money. Sure it's going to pay off my debt, but still. 

"Huh? It looks like the host club has a new guest." The twins said, making me look over. I hadn't realized I had spaced out, but all the hosts were closer to the door. Once I got a closer look, it was a brunette with a large bow in her hair, half hiding behind the doorway. 

"Come on in. What are you waiting for?"

"Watching from afar is no fun."

"Please princess?"

"Stop that. What have I told you two about being more courteous to the first time guests? Please, you don't have to be afraid my princess. I welcome you, to the ouran host club." She looked like she was about to speak. "Yes?" He asked, but instead of a response, what he got was a slap. My jaw fell open. I like this girl already. 

"No! Don't touch me you're phony!" Tamaki stumbled back. 

"What do you mean, I'm phony?!"

"Just what I said, you're phony! I find it hard to believe that someone like you is the prince character of this host club! You shouldn't go spreading around your love like that you stupid! You must be a dim-witted narcissist! you're incompetent! You're a commoner! You're disgusting!" Can we keep this girl? 

Tamaki fell to the ground slowly. 

"Oh look, he's made a new technique."

"One man slow motion." 

"I don't suppose you are-"

"It's you kyoya!" She used tamaki as a springboard, to jump into his arms. "Oh how I've longed to meet you. My one and only prince charming!" 

What just happened? 

"Your fiancé?"

"Kyoya senpai?" 

"Of course! My name is renge hoshikuge, and I'm transferring into ourans first year class A tomorrow." Tamaki was sulking against a wall hearing this. 

"Why is he sulking?"

"Because mommy was keeping a secret from daddy." 

"Whatever. Why do people insist on referring to us like we're a married couple?"

"Because it's funny." 

"Ours is a story of love at first sight. I couldn't resist the way you were adoring those flowers in the backyard when you thought no one was looking. And how sweet it was when you reached out to that poor little injured kitten." What? The kyoya I know is vindicative, and obsessed with money. Why the heck would he help a cat? 

"She serious?"

"Could you have the wrong person?"

"No way, I know my love anywhere! He's a gentleman who's kind to everyone but doesn't ask for anything in return! He loves solitude but he sometimes in fact gets lonely! He looks like the star of the popular dating sim, uki doki memorial. You're my real life Itijo Mayami!" She squealed, and it all clicked. I facepalmed. I knew a girl back in America who was obsessed with that game. Don't get me wrong, I like videogames, but I prefer minecraft or undertale, or other games with a high meme count. (Believe it or not, but I have a group chat with the twins, where all we do is share memes with each other. They are my fellow meme lords.)

"Uki?"

"Doki?"

"OTAKU!"

"OTAKU?!"

"Hmm?"

"I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE!" 

"I get it now. You're in love with that character so you've projected that love onto me, and you've somehow deluded yourself into thinking we're engaged. I assume this mayabi character also wears glasses as well."

"So, you're not engaged to her?"

"Well no, I don't remember ever asking for her hand in marriage. Besides this is the first time I've met the woman."

"According to my reaserch, you're in charge of managing the club, isn't that right kyoya?"

"Mhm! Kyo-chan's our director!"

"You're the clubs director? That's perfect! Oh I've always wanted to wear a sandwich board to advertise a buisness."

"Miss, we don't advertise, we're just a host club." She gave me a dirty look, thinking I was the only girl here other than her, and was probably thinking 'why is a customer still here?!' 

"I've made up my mind, from now on I'm going to be the manager of this host club, and I'm starting with shooing you out." She said pointing at me. I was taken aback. "Why is a guest still here?! Isn't the club closed? What is she someone's girlfriend or something, that's really unprofessional." Before I spoke, kyoya actually stood up for me. 

"She's our head of merchandise, and mori senpai's significant other. I'd treat her with respect. Besides, you can't get rid of her, her and haruhi have a debt to the host club." I nodded. 

"Wait, am I promoted from maid?"

"Yes, as per our agreement. I've already talked with everyone, and they're alright with what I suggested. Bring a laptop and whatever you need." I smiled. Something I'm good at! "I'll be expecting updates periodically, and some new chapters every few months." 

"Got it." Renge had gone silent, thinking. 

"I apologize. I was unaware of your role in the club." Renge said. I nodded. 

"No problem." I said, giving a small smile. 

"Kyoya are you sure about this?"

"Miss hosikuge is the only daughter of a very important ooctori client. Please show her respect and try not to offend her." 

"Well boys and lady, I can't wait to work with you." 

The next afternoon, tamaki gathered us for a meeting. "I thought bout it a lot last night, and maybe having a lady manager isn't such a bad idea." 

"Why do you say that?"

"Well it's fairly obvious, isn't it?  Renge just transferred into the same class as haruhi. So if haruhi has another girlfriend around, it could bring out the female within her. Renges girlish air of tenderness might be the thing to bring out haruhi's own sense of femininity." Oh boy if they only knew her father. "Now is our chance to help haruhi get in touch with her feminine side. This is an important project men, and lady. She mostly has male friends, known as the shady twins, That's no good for her."

"Like you have room to talk."

"Girls can have guy friends and still be plenty feminine. Believe me, out of school she's feminine in her own way. Sure she's still a bit tomboyish, but she's true to herself. Isn't that all that matters? And remember, if word gets out she is in fact a girl, she can't be in the host club anymore." Tamaki deflated, remembering that.

"Thank you for being a voice of reason."

"Hey, it's basically my job." I said, pulling out my laptop, and working on the document I was working on last night. I had started the book of oneshots kyoya asked me to make, starting with mori, of course. As I started typing, I didn't notice renge coming in with cookies. In fact I didn't notice anything at all. I was in my own little world as the words just flowed out of me at a quick pace. In this, it was a telling of a girl who got assigned on a project with him, and they slowly form a bond together. It was going to turn into a light romance by the end, but I was trying to keep it within four or five pages. It was going to end with a date, and I was about a quarter of the way finished, when haruhi again, slammed the laptop shut. Good thing I use google docs, or else I'd be chasing her around. 

"Hmm? Is something going on?" 

"We're going outside. Something about a movie?"

"Oh, okay, have fun!" I said, and tried to get back to writing, only to have my laptop, once again slammed shut. "What?"

"You have to come with. Come on." I sighed. 

"Fine." I got up and put my laptop away, following my best friend outside. I watched as scenes unfolded, and honey broke character, unable to be mean to haruhi. As range yelled, I was over by the twins. 

"How'd we go from changing our characters, to shooting a movie?"

"And why is there an entire film crew here to shoot it?"

"Apparently, she flew them in from hollywood. Don't you recognize the director? He directed the hit movie 'millennial snow'. It was grossed number one in hitboxes."

"And another thing, how come this stupid script portrays kaouru as the pitcher?"

"Yeah." I stared at them. They know which one would top the other? WTF?! 

"What does that mean?"

"If you don't know never mind." She looked at me. 

"Believe me, you don't want to know." 

"Pitcher?" Haruhi muttered to herself as she walked away. 

"So how's that book coming along?"

"Well, it's going pretty good so far. I'm about a fourth of the way through the first part, but I need parts for each of the hosts at least once. It's gonna be a little weird, since you two are pretty much like brothers to me, but I'll get over it." They blinked. "What?"

"We're like brothers to you?"

"Yeah. My brothers are both really shy, but they love pranks. And dogs. Mostly dogs. And video games. And I'm kind of the same, so I can't complain, but they need to learn to get out more."

"Do you win any?" I flipped my hair.

"Win? I dominate." We chuckled. "But seriously, I's gonna be a bit weird for me to write that, but I'll get over it. In fact, I was going to do three for you two."

"Three? Do tell."

"One is going to be hikaru-centric, the other kaouru, and the last is you sharing the reader." They smiled. 

"Ah, you know us so well somehow. It's like you're in our minds!" They said together, pinching my cheeks. "You need to come over sometime for games. We gotta see if you're as good as you say! And meet our baby sister!"

"Duh! Next weekend?"

"Sounds good." We all smiled, thinking of pranks to pull, and videogames to play. But before we could talk anymore, we heard a loud crash coming from behind a wall. I went over to check it out, and saw haruhi with what at first glance seemed to be a teardrop, but a closer look turned out to be a contact lens. Tamaki had some guy pinned up against a wall by his collar, seemingly threatening him, and the other looked scared shitless. He let them go and they ran away, and he went over to haruhi, who was rubbing her eye. 

"Haruhi, are you in any pain?" I really do think they'd be good together. He cares for her so much more than he knows. And I know she secretly does too, even if she doesn't realize it herself. 

"Yeah." She managed to get the lens out of her eye. "It's my contact."

"Your.. contact?"

"Yeah. I guess it must have slipped out." He smiled and started laughing. 

"I see how it is! So you're able to cry without using eyedrops! So you're a full fledged host now!" haruhi smiled, and giggled a bit. 

"You... You, please tell me you got that camera man!"

"Yes boss!"

"Other than haruhi's contact falling out it was an idea final scene! All it needs now is a movie narration by my sweet kyoya!" 

Smash!

We looked behind us to see kyoya with a rock in hand, and a smashed camera lens. "What's you do to my camera?!"

"Why? Is something wrong?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot allow there to be any record of a club member engaging in violence. i think you've cause enough trouble around here renge, please stop being such a pest."

"A pest.. But you're supposed to pat me on the head and say not to worry! You're supposed to be kind and affectionate kyoya. Why are you acting so differently now? Tell me why!" She asked, tears running down her face.  

"Because that's not the real kyoya." She turned around and fell to her knees. 

"Does it really matter? Who cares if kyoya is a little different than you expected him to be. Take a good look at the person inside and get to know them little by little. It's a lot more fun that way!" 

A week later, I was working on hikaru's chapter, as girls went crazy over the movie, that kyoya edited and published, when I heard some familiar steps. Renge? "Good day everyone!"

"Renge? But I thought you had gone back to France already?" 

"I can't believe I didn't realize this sooner, it was so chivalrous of you to risk your life for me. I could feel the love when you lectured me about judging people." She grabbed haruhi's hand. "What you said about getting to know people little by little, you were talking about me!"

"What?!" 

"Yeah?"

"Come on haruhi! Lets go to my house and play some games together. Then we can get to know each other better!"

"What?!"

"Hey kyoya senpai."

"You okay with that?"

"Why wouldn't I be? Everything renge said is true."

"No it isn't!"

"But I thought you were the one who wanted her to have a female friend in the first place?"

"Yeah a female friend not a girlfriend!"

"Come on haruhi, lets go play together!" 

"No wait, don't take haruhi from me!" I laughed and went back to my writing. After all, this didn't concern me. Not one bit. Good luck haruhi!