The entire way home from the hike, Maddie had remained silent. She had gone out that morning seeking clarity and she just didn't know if she had found it. If anything, walking with Collins had only drudged up more for her to think about, more for her to consider. And he had pushed her; pushed her to see the reality of what was happening—called her on her own avoidance. As the car drew closer to their place, Maddie knew what she needed to do.

She needed to talk to Harry. Yes, she had put this off all on her own accord. Yes, she had hoped that the stress of it all would simply go away. But now, as she made her way closer to him, she felt like laughing at herself. What had happened to her? When had all of her years of professional training gone out the window.

The only way through this was to go through it. And that meant that she needed to tell him. She needed him to know...that she was considering Bendal, why she was considering Bendal, and why never in a million years would she have ever imagined considering him over Bendal—even though she was. She needed him to know what was happening in her head; in her heart. It was the very least she could do in return for all he had done for her.

The car pulled to a stop and Maddie rushed from the car.

"Doc..." Collins called to her, the weight of his words was beginning to get to him. He knew that he had been the final push for the avalanche of emotions that his friend was handling. This was what he wanted, but he hoped it wasn't too much for her.

But she didn't answer; her entire mind, her entire body focused on a different mission. Pushing into the house, she looked around for them.

Harry and Khenda were out on the deck; enjoying drinks and laughing loudly. Seeing him made Maddie's heart leap in her chest. Blinking back a surprising burst of tears, Maddie took a breath and moved out to the deck. Collins followed behind her.

"Hey!" Harry was the first one to see her; his eyes lighting up as he grinned up at her.

"Welcome back," Khenda smiled at Maddie before catching the look on Collins' face. "How was the hike?" Ignoring Khenda completely, Maddie looked at Harry—her emotions exposed for everyone to see.

"What do you love about me?" Her voice was soft.

"Sorry?" He looked up to her, his smile still in place. Khenda's laughter faded as she glanced to Collins.

"What do you love about me?" She repeated, stepping closer to him. "And you can't say my ass because there are plenty of women in this world with better asses than mine."

"I wasn't going to say your ass," he laughed tenderly. "I mean...it's a great ass, but that's not why I..."

"What is why?"

"You want a list?" He glanced to Collins, wondering what the hell had happened on the hike. Collins shook his head; he had no idea.

"Please," she nodded. He cleared his throat, looking slightly embarrassed, but willing to play along.

"Okay. Well...you're funny. Not just good-at-telling-jokes funny but, you can laugh at yourself, you don't take things too seriously. And you're thoughtful and considerate and you're so damn smart." He shook his head. "I love how smart you are. You can hold your own with anybody in the world, I am certain. You're determined and independent and...you care so much about the people around you, about what's happening around you. You have this intrinsic warmth that instantly draws people to your side and..." He looked down at his hands and back up to her. "I don't know Maddie. What is it you're looking for with this?"

"All of those things you just listed," Maddie's eyes grew soft. "All of those things you love about me...All of those things are what brought me to Bendal in the first place. All of those things are because of my time here. All of those things about me are so tied to this place....I..." She trailed off as tears rose to her eyes and just like that the entire mood shifted. Maybe that hike had jarred more loose than she had thought.

Khenda glanced at Collins who nodded. As they passed by Maddie, they patted her arm and smiled at Harry.

And then it was just the two of them. And the great big elephant in the room they had been avoiding.

"So we're going to talk about it," Harry took a deep breath; his heart feeling the oddest combination of fear and relief.

"I want to be really honest with you right now," she blinked back her tears as she moved to sit in the chair directly opposite of him. "Even if...even if it hurts. I want to be honest with you right now."

"Maddie, I saw the way your face lit up when you saw Khenda and Collins. I noticed the relaxed way you walk through town; like you're...home. And last night, when you were dancing with the kids..." He had to look away for a minute; had to gain control. The last thing he wanted was for his emotions to take over this moment. Exhaling, he met her eyes. And she held them; tears and all, she held his look. "You're coming back, aren't you." It wasn't a question. She took a long moment to collect her thoughts before she could speak. And when she did, her voice was small, soft; quiet.

"If I don't live here..." Her eyes grew wide. "Where do I live? Colorado? I can't even imagine that anymore..."

"You could..." He let out a breath and steeled himself for her response. "Wow...you could live in London."

"London?" A small laugh burst through her lips.

"You say it like it's the craziest thing you've ever heard."

"Well...it is." Though it wasn't the first time the thought had crossed her mind. "In some senses, it is."

"Maddie...." Harry tried to make his voice sound soothing. "It can't be the first time it's crossed your mind." She was stunned as he put voice to her thoughts.

"No," the admission made her eyes water even more. "It's not the first time I've thought about moving to London. But..."

"But what?" Harry hated how eager he felt; how hopeful. "Think about it Maddie. Ella's going to be there. I'm going to be there. Bishop is going to be there."

"Bishop?" Maddie felt a burst of laughter push through her lips.

"Well, in case you need spare cash." Harry grinned; a moment of laughter passing between them, lightening the mood.

"I don't know what to...What would I even do there? I...my work is here, with DWB. Even if they don't offer me this on Friday, they are going to offer me another location where I could do the same kind of work and..." Maddie took a deep breath. "Harry, I don't even have a job possibility in London."

"Yes, but, up until last week Ella didn't have a job possibility and look what happened. A job fell in her lap!" He countered.

"Those kinds of things only happen to Ella. I doubt a job is going to fall into my lap."

"But you're educated and experienced and you're amazingly talented and..."

"And where would I live?" She threw up the next obstacle that raced through her mind.

"I don't know," he shook his head. "But there are plenty of flats for rent and until you found something, you know that you would have a place to stay. Me, Ella...I know my father would be more than happy to have you at Highgrove for an extended holiday..."

"Wow..." She breathed; her face a scattered mess that mirrored her emotions. She sat back in her chair; wiping at her eyes. This was crazy; absolutely crazy. Leaving Bendal for London—yet, something inside her felt...excited. Something in her felt alive. But that something was waging an enormous battle against something that bad been anchored in her for so long.

"Maddie..." Harry reached for her hands; pulling them into his. "What do you want me to say here? That I don't want London on the table? I can't say that," he shook his head; his stomach turning as he said it, knowing this could very well be the moment she walked away from him. "If this is an honest-if-it-hurts moment then...then I want you in London; with me. I...I don't have a list of pros or great reasons. I just...I want you there. I love you, Maddie."

"I love you too," she squeezed his hands.

"I know that," he moved to the edge of his seat then, his legs moving to the outside of hers, his arms resting alongside hers. Locking his eyes with hers, he spoke clearly. "I am not trying to tell you what to do or make decisions for you or force you into some corner full of ultimatums, Maddie...I want you to be happy." His eyes seemed so sad, so full of heartache and she hated that she had anything to do with that. "If that means that you live in Bendal then...then you live in Bendal. I won't say I like it. I won't say that's what I want. I won't lie to you."

"And..."

"And... I want...you. I want us. And not the 'once in every three months' version of us. I want the everyday us. And I know it's not fair but...I feel like that can only happen if you're in England."

"Wow..." Maddie felt tears in her eyes.

"Please don't hate me for wanting you to be close, Madeline."

"I don't hate you, I..." She smiled through the sadness. "I couldn't hate you. I just...we're talking about my entire life, my career, my goals. I always swore that I would never put myself in a situation where I would even consider dropping it all for some guy." Her insecurities rushed forward, this old wall of protection building.

"Some guy?" His eyebrows shot up; his heart aching at her words.

"Even if he is you." And somewhere, in the back of her spiraling mind, there was a voice shouting at Maddie; warning her of grand mistakes and life-altering decisions. But she couldn't hear it. There were just too many voices shouting at her.

"Wow..." Harry leaned back in his chair, reaching for his drink. His eyes shifted away from her as he tipped back his bottle of beer; draining it. Maddie moved towards him then, leaning in, her hands on his chest; trying to pull his attention back to her. And when his eyes shifted back to hers, she looked sad and young and afraid.

"Harry..." She whispered over the lump in her throat. "When my dad died..." Her voice hitched and Harry shifted in his seat; catching her hands in his again. "When he died...I fell apart. I...I cracked. I was so lost." She blinked as tears escaped her eyes. "I didn't know what to do or where to go or even what mattered anymore and...and I came here. And I FOUND myself here. In Bendal. If it weren't for this place, if it weren't for this experience, I don't know what...I don't know what would have happened to me. And when I think of leaving here..." She shook her head, wishing she could stop the damn tears. "I know it's not rational and that it makes very little sense to anyone...but what if leaving here would...what if I lost myself again? What if that woman that you fell in love with here only exists here? What if I lose hold of myself again?"

And then, because it was the only answer he could think of in the moment, Harry's hands cupped her face; his lips meeting hers. Pressing soft, sweet kisses to her lips, her cheeks, her forehead, he shook his head. "I know that right now you're kind of..."

"Crazy?" She offered, closing her eyes as she rested her forehead against his lips. Rediscovering herself after the shooting had proven to be so tiring, so complicated. She felt crazy sometimes.

"I was going to say scattered," he chuckled lightly and pulled back to look at her; wiping at the tears on her cheeks with his thumb. "You've been through a lot Maddie. You were shot and sent home and you've been basically traveling for three months and...and now you have this big decision looming overhead and...I know that it's hard for you to see things clearly right now but...I also know that under all of this you know just as well as I do...that woman I fell in love with was in there long before Bendal. And she's going to be in there long after Bendal."

"Hmm..." She sighed with a small smile. "You seem so sure."

"I am sure."

"Harry?"

"Yes?"

"If I decide to stay here, if I...if I moved back to Bendal...then..." She smiled sadly at him. "What happens to us?" Harry felt a lump in his throat as her question washed over him. How did he begin to answer that question? There were a number of possibilities.

They could make it work. He knew it was possible. He could travel more freely, he could visit her. She had breaks, holidays she could take. The first part of their relationship had been apart. It was only the last few weeks that they had actually been consistently in the same place. He knew they could make it work.

But he also knew the other side. He had been here before; a long distance relationship with southern Africa. He had done the phone calls and the trips and the missing somebody more than he could put words to. He had been to that agonizing place where all he wanted to do was be thousands of miles from where he was. He had been through that moment when the woman he loved needed him and there was absolutely no way he could be there; when he wanted to hold her and wouldn't be able to for months.

And he had sworn he wouldn't do it again. When it all fell apart, he had sworn he wouldn't put himself in that situation again.

And then Khenda had called in a favor; bringing him to Bendal for the Food Bank opening.

And he had met Maddie.

And the love affair with South Africa began. What was it about this woman that made him toss everything out the window—he would never know.

"I don't want to let you go Maddie. I can't imagine walking away from you, from this...but what happens to us if we try to do this on separate continents..." He let out a breath, tightened his hold on her, and gave her the honest-if-it-hurts answer. "I don't know."

"Yeah," Maddie nodded; tears in her eyes, smile on her lips. She knew that was the answer. She had always known that was the answer. They watched each other for two full minutes; allowing it all to sink in, allowing it all to settle. And they were at an impasse. Everything was out in the open, on the table—thought nothing was decided. Sensing this, Maddie decided to call a time out. "Okay..." She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. With a shake of her head, she widened her smile. "Can we...can we take a break from this conversation for a minute?"

"Sure," Harry breathed; his lips turning up at the corners. He could see her coming to terms with what they had discussed; coming to terms with all that was happening for her.

"I won't even know what I'm dealing with until Friday and...and I just wanted you to know what was going on in my mind...though..." She laughed. "Though I'm not sure anything is any clearer."

"You need to hike that trail again?" Harry joked. "Cause I think Collins would be up for another round."

"Ha!" Maddie's head tossed back in laughter. "I'm surprised Collins didn't leave me out there." Maddie watched him for a second before moving to his lap. Straddling him, she settled over him; his eyes watching her with surprise. Her fingers moved to his face and then, her lips were on his; strong, warm, and full of all she felt for him. His mouth opened under hers as his arms wrapped around her; holding her close.

"What was that?" He breathed when she pulled back.

"I do love you," she sighed. "In all of this indecision, that has never even been up for debate. Do you know that?"

"I..."

"Know it," she insisted before leaning to kiss him again. "Now...I need to apologize to Collins and then...I need to take a shower. And then, we are going to enjoy our last night in Bendal with our friends and we can get back to this when we have to. How does that sound?"

"Perfect," He smiled as she rose to her feet.

"You'll be here when I get back?" She asked as she moved away from him.

"Yes," he answered. Always, he thought.