Gwen pov

      I quietly sat beside the door, waiting  patiently for a surprise. I expected presents,  cake and so much more, after all ten year old  kids dreamed of such things on their  birthday. I had no memory of someone actually remembering my birthday. Every  year I would wait for someone to barge into  my room at midnight and wake me up with confetti and wishes. But again it never  happened.

So this year to avoid disappointment I had asked the cook in advance to bake a cake for  my birthday. I waited so that my parents  would come, then I could cut it and feed them  delicious chocolate cake. Half past three, no  one ever came. Did I expect a different  outcome.

My parents were on the brink of making  their career, they were allowed to miss my birthday, I reassured myself. They needed perfection any fault would hinder their  career. That's the reason they never took me  to those high class parties they went, you are  too reckless, too childish, you will make a  fool out of me was what they told me.

It was actually true, I could not tell poems by heart, I could not dance and sing. Since Lily  could do that she went and met so many  people, she could eat sweets and cakes and  expensive food, while I had to be babysat.

Lily was so charming, so bubbly. People  would instantly fall in love with her smile.  And me, I would skirt around the curtains,  awkwardly gawking at people. When I did  open my mouth I made a fool out of myself.

"Gwen, go to bed. Your parents are    returning after two days." My nanny warned. I nodded, of course my birthday was not important enough to cancel their plans. I  hummed in what Lily called a scratchy voice  happy birthday song, and cut into the cake.

The first time I did cut a cake, I was alone.  Tears spilled out of my eyes, but still I pushed  a slice into my mouth. This was my first  birthday cake, I will not let it go to waste,  even if  I'm  alone.

*****

"This is the first time, you are meeting my  partners. Do me a favour and be good." Mama  warned.

Translation be like your sister Lily. They  sometimes did forget that I'm my own  person, and not clay that they could mold  like Lily. I nodded tugging  on the end of my  dress. People make me uncomfortable, being  with my family had made me self  conscious  and gave rise to insecurities. I feared not to  be good enough.

"Meet Adam Rian your new friend."  Dad  said gesturing to a scrawny boy, with a  highly irritated look. He looked mad enough  to set the whole building on fire. If you ask  my opinion he was somewhere like a cross  breed between a hippo and a monkey. How I came up with that don't ask me.

"What do you do?" One man with thick eyebrows asked me.

"Not anything impressive, she goes around boxing and wants to take up business  studies." Dad said  unconcerned. "However  Lily here is learning ballet and taking up  engineering like her old man."

Yes, folks nothing impressive about me.  What's impressive is my sister can make  twenty rounds standing in one place while I  can knock out a guy in ten minutes, see  nothing special about me. All attention  shifted to Lily, she was happy her eyes lit up  and she started telling everyone about her  latest performance.

Adam tugged on my hair, causing me to kick  him in the shins. He yelped in  pain, but  concealed it in the form of a cough. As I  hungrily took the last cup of pudding, Adam like the idiot he is tried to snatch it out of my hand.

Ask me for my life, I'll give it. But don't dare  ask for my food. With the constant tugging  we had going on, the cup splattered onto the  floor causing everyone to look at us oddly.
My cheeks flushed. I didn't like people's  attention.

"Oops sorry, Gwen just pulled the pudding  from my hand." Adam said looking innocent.

I took the pudding first you lier. Finders  keepers, others losers. My Mama's usual  sharp eyes softened at  him, I hated him even  more now. Everyone seemed to be getting  their share of love from my parents, except me. So did it mean something was wrong  with me.

"Gwen apologize to Adam." Dad ordered. I  gulped looking at his stern eyes. Why do I  have to apologise, he pulled my hair, he  wasted my pudding. Boys are idiots, my  Nana was right. They are so mean.

"I'm sorry Adam." I said looking at the door quietly. Since that day Adam took advantage  of the fact that no one would reprimand him,  so like the devil he is, he started to make me  look bad. My parents lack of attention  towards me, gave Adam a chance to walk all  over me. That was the last party I had  attended. After that no one bothered to take  me.

****

"Ouch" I screamed.

Apparently curling your hair with an iron is  not quite easy, the magazine which I was  looking into thought wrong. I waited  patiently for my eyeliner to dry up. Dad had  got a big contract and was throwing a party  in celebration.

Everyone wanted to meet the family of the  man who was so successful. Though I had no  idea on how to dress up in such occasions, I  tried because I didn't want Dad to be  ashamed of me. I put on an ankle length red dress, and a pearl chain. Studs in my ears  and heels to make me look taller.

I looked as pretty as mama when she dressed  up for parties. Two hours for the event, I had  plenty of time. But still I went down to look  for mama, maybe she would think I'm pretty  for once. Maybe she would lend me her  matching jewelry like she used to give Lily.

I went to the living room, to find nobody  there. The cook was doing the dishes,  probably in a hurry to go home.

"Where are everyone?" I asked.

She wiped  her hands with a cloth, surprised to see me." They  left  a  long  time  ago."

"Ma'am and Lily went to the salon to get  their hair done. Mr James would pick them  up directly. I thought you went with them."

"But they invited the whole family."  I  argued. Did they ... Leave  me? They might  expect me to drive myself, after all I got my  license.

"But the whole family did go." The cook said  busily wiping the kitchen counter. A tiny tug  of my heart right there, the whole perfect  family was  there. I was like that shrunken shriveld up branch of a healthy tree which  people couldn't wait to cut off.

"Yes, the whole family did go." I said, maybe  she realised what she had said. She  muttered something about not meaning something  awful. But I knew the meaning of what she  and everybody thought. The perfect family  was there, taking credit, why would people  want to see me?

*****

I was brimming with excitement like a kid  high on sugar. My steps had  an extra bounce  and I hummed a little too loudly causing my  sister to look up in irritation. But I was too  happy to care. I was on top of the world.

"Why are you smiling like a lunatic?" Lily  asked perching on the edge of the bed.

"I topped my exam." I squealed. I had scored  the second highest, all those sleepless nights  and constant studying payed off. I finally  have hope to attend my dream college. I can  get my masters in business.

I wanted to be an entrepreneur, I wanted to  make my own identity. Before starting  anything of such scale, I decided to take up  internship and work in any other firms. It  would fetch me experience and knowledge.

"Did you tell Dad?" Lily asked. No, I was  waiting for him to get home, maybe this  time he will hug me and mama  will  make  me cake like she made when Lily got into her  ballet classes. Just the thought made me  giddy with excitement. Every kid craves that  moment when her parents are proud of her.   

     The sound of the car stopped our  conversation and I flew down the stairs,  wanting nothing more than to tell him. Dad trudged into the house and tiredly sat on the  couch.

When he saw me awkwardly hovering in the  room, his eyes narrowed. "What  are  you  doing  here?" He snapped.

I flinched at his tone, I did not like people  talking in harsh tonnes. "Dad I got my  results, I topped. I got the second highest  marks." I told him looking for a hint of smile.

His nostrils flared and he glared at me.  Clearly not expecting this reaction, I took a  few steps back. He caught me and shook me irritatedly.

"When will you learn, what it takes to be a  Carter. We are the best, never the second best  like you. So next time don't bother me with  such silly news. I have more important  things to think about." He barked and stalked  out of the room.

I miserably let tears flow down my cheeks.  How stupid I was to think getting second is  an accomplishment. No never can I do  anything in life.

Far from getting me a gift he didn't even bat  an eye at my results. I will always be the  second best. I can never be like Lily, that's  why Dad didn't love me. Because pathetic  people like me don't deserve to be.

***************
It's sad to realise you aren't as important to someone as you thought you were.

For all the people feeling low, remember that there's no one as amazing as you are.

Second part of the flashback will come out Monday.

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Until next time.