Chris

"You should go to hell."

"Good morning."

"Don't open the curtains, for God's sake. I just told you not to do that." I growled pulling the comforter over my head, determined to get some morning sleep before chaos descended upon me.

"Get up, dramaqueen." Gwen snapped throwing her towel on me, and marched into the closet, only to emerge dressed and threw me a dirty look.

"It's Sunday. I'm allowed to sleep." I grumbled fluffing the pillow into a better shape resting my head against the headboard.

"It's is almost 11 get your lazy ass into the shower." Gwen narrowed her eyes at me, hands on her hips.

"I'm enjoying the view." I grinned, lesiurely scanning my eyes around her damp hair and green dress, determined to irritate her as much as she does me.

"Stop flirting." She scowled at me.

"I am allowed to flirt with my wife." I pointed out, causing her to glare at me, applying extra pressure on the body lotion she clasped in her hands.

This was the defination of our marriage, she drives me crazy, and I drive her to the brink of insanity. It was endless cycle which none of us had any intention of stopping.

"Your wife can make you sleep on the couch." She sassed lips curving upwards.

"Guess the last poptart is mine." I shrugged, trying not to look too smug.

"You keep your hands off my poptarts." She snarled blue eyes narrowed, hands twitching to find her boxing gloves.

"Aiden is better than you." She spat, digging into her bag.

"Why don't you come to bed love, I'll make it up to you." I added lifting the end of the blanket invitingly, trying not to laugh.

"I'm going to wake my son, who is much better company than you." She huffed, trying to stomp out when I wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her to my side.

"Don't I get a kiss." I added distractedly drawing patterns on her arm.

"No."

"Can I change your mind?"

"Contrary to what romance novels tell you, morning breadth stinks. I'm not coming anywhere near that mouth until you brush your teeth." She kissed my cheek and stomped out, chuckling at her statement I made my way into the shower.

****

"Your kid looks creepy." I whacked the back of Alec's head just as Dad kicked him under the table, mom threw him a dirty look, the idiot I call brother will definitely find salt in his coffee today.

My brother Alec was a lot of things, loyal, caring, protective, but one thing was his speciality: to push people's buttons until they felt a murder was justified, why he did it? I don't know. Was it an attempt to keep people from knowing more about him or irritating people was his favourite pastime.

"My son is not creepy." I objected sitting on the floor next to him, as he played with his multicolored blocks.

Aiden Smith, with his blue eyes so like his mother, and my blonde hair was the cutest baby I have ever seen. I could spend days looking at him, God help me keep his mother away from people who even have a thought of hurting him, not that I would show mercy to anyone like that.

Aiden crawled into my lap, throwing out his toys as though they personally offended him, and hit the rattle repeatedly against the floor giggling infectiously.

"That creepy grin doesn't bother you?" Alec asked watching us with narrowed eyes.

"Aiden stay away from Uncle Alec." I advised only for him to give me a toothless grin and wave at Dad as he settled next to us.

"He should know his Dad is an asshole." Alec ignored the warning look mom threw him, and settled on the sofa, legs stretched out.

"Don't cuss in front of Aiden." Dad chided, waving a cookie as Aiden practically flew in his direction, looking content at his grandfather's side he munched on his cookie.

"You mean, I can't say f*ck in front of Aiden." Alec chuckled when I got to my feet in a desperate need to plummet my brother into the ground.

"F*ck." Aiden clapped delightedly.

Did I just...

Was my son's first word...

Why, God why, Out of all things in the world why this?

"Chris, can you set Aiden on the highchair, it's lunch time for him. I can't find his bib, did you keep it in the bag?" Gwen walked in with a bowl of pureed sweet potatoes when she saw the dumbstruck looks on all our faces.

"What happened?" She looked at us questioningly.

"F*ck." Aiden said again, feeling the need to show Gwen what had left us all speechless.

"That was his first word?" she screeched throwing her hands back in frustration.

"Come on sweetheart, it's time for lunch. Nanna will take care of you." Mom cooed lifting Aiden into her arms and marched into the other room.

"Alec taught him the word, and he needs something more painful than a quick death." Mom smiled at Gwen balancing the bowl on the other hand and walked out humming under her breadth.

"That he does." I agreed fishing my old baseball bat from the cupboard, determined to pull my brother's tongue out of his mouth. Gwen took off her pointed heels, glaring at Alec the entire time, jaw clenched.

"Care to repeat what you just said to my son?" Gwen questioned flashing him the pointed end of her heel.

"It's not my fault, the kids smart. I really didn't know this would happen. I swear on well..." Alec had the shame to look scared, eyes repeatedly darting towards the door.

"I remember everything, don't worry. Word to word." Dad cracked his knuckles threatingly, and nodded at us.

"Ready." I questioned lips pulling into a twisted smile.

We were gonna teach my brother the consequences of having a smart mouth.

**************************************
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you- unknown.

Siblings are the ones you can't kill or keep.

Alec is just being Alec in this chapter, don't hate him.

Tell me what you want for the next bonus chapter? I'll try writing the one with majority requests.

Until then.