"Getting dressed so soon?" Luke teases, raising a brow at me as I pull my tank top over my torso. My body still slick with sweat from yet another rendezvous in Luke's bed, I can't help but feel exposed.

It's stupid, but it's the truth.

"Sorry to disappoint you," I pretend-pout for him.

"Not disappointed." Luke sits up, the muscles of his arms and abdomen rippling as he does so. "I do love you naked but you're pretty cute with clothes on, too."

"Gee, thanks." I roll my eyes, raking my fingers through my hair and redoing my ponytail. "I should really get back to Grams, in case."

"In case she sleeps soundly through the night?" Luke laughs, grabbing my wrist and pulling me closer to him and the bed again. Tracing the side of my face with a long finger, his voice is soft. "I've only just got you back, Dyl. Stay awhile."

I feel my resolve fading at his sweet words. Luke could've talked me into anything, back in the day. Those eyes and that smile and those dimples.

Still, I pull away to slip on my shorts. "I'll be back."

"Yeah you will." Luke smirks to himself smugly, like he knows he's irresistible.

I make a mental note to make him work harder for it next time. Teach him a lesson in being too cocky for his own good.

"So the cookout," I change the subject, averting my sights from the all too tempting sight of a naked Luke in a comfortable bed. "When should I come over?"

Luke stands and suddenly I have to look up to see his face, instead of below his waist. He cocks his head to the side.

"I'll be picking you up. Around one, if that works for you and June."

I face the wall of photos so he won't see my stupid grin. I'm looking forward to the cookout more than I thought I'd be, and definitely more than I want him to know.

Get it together, Dylan.

"That's works," I mutter as nonchalantly as I can. Then I scan the lines of photos on the wall, aware of Luke's presence as he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist.

"Good." He murmurs into my hair before resting his chin atop my head, "I'm happy you're not mad at me anymore."

"Hm." I sigh, resting back against his chest, holding the tops of his hands with my own. "How do you do it?" I ask, staring at the hundreds of Casey smiles lining his walls. "How can you be around all these pictures of him, and not want to cry all of the time?"

The air thickens and the mood shifts. It's quiet for a minute before I feel Luke shrug.

"Therapy."

"You? You went to therapy?" I tilt my head to see his face better. His expression gives nothing away.

"It was my parents idea but yeah. I did."

"Wow."

I look forward again, this time noticing how the only photos Maya is in are the group shots, even though I know they had ones of just the two of them. Some of which, I even took myself. I'm sure it's not a coincidence. Somehow, the lack of her flaming hair and freckles on these walls makes me feel a little bit better.

"I had a really hard time after Case died." Luke's chest rumbles as he speaks again. I'm not sure what to say so I stay quiet, waiting for the rest.

"I wanted to talk about him, since I couldn't talk to him, you know? But using the past tense to talk about Casey just felt wrong. It was like I was admitting it was real, and that meant admitting he wasn't coming back."

I only nod, understanding immediately.

"But I also knew using the present tense didn't make any sense, either. So for awhile, I just didn't talk about him." He lets out a deep, remorseful sigh. "I thought about him all the time, but something so ... unimportant, so stupid, made it so I wasn't comfortable talking about him at all."

I remember Luke telling me about the time Finn asked who the other guy on the treehouse was.

His name was Casey. And he is my best friend.

I wonder if Luke is more comfortable talking about him now, tenses be damned. I wonder the same about myself.

"Mom got worried. She thought I was blocking Casey out - and all my memories with him, too - trying to act like it never happened. To forget. But that wasn't it." Luke's arms tighten around me, comforting himself or me, I'm not sure. "I just didn't know how to grieve."

He lets it hang in the air for a bit, perhaps letting me chew it over, apply it to myself.

"So when Mom and Dad told me I needed to see a therapist, I went." He shrugs again, as if that's that.

My chest getting tight, I prompt him on. "And?"

"And it helped." He sighs again, "I realized it didn't really matter how I talked about Casey, it just mattered that I talked about him."

"Didn't it hurt?" My voice is barely a whisper.

Doesn't it still?

"Sometimes." Luke nods into my hair. "Most of the time, in the beginning. But my therapist helped me realize that sometimes, there's nothing we can do to change things. I couldn't take back the accident, couldn't make Casey still be here. All I could do was accept that it happened and feel whatever that made me feel. Feel it and then let it go."

The words hit me hard and I'm not sure what to say. I'm not sure how that helps, how it would even be possible.

"So yeah, hurt, in the beginning. Depressed. Angry." His voice cracks a little, "Guilty."

I drop my gaze to the floor, the photos of Luke and Casey suddenly too much at once.

"But over time Dyl... I won't say it hurts less or that it's easier. It's not. I just... I can feel other things, too, when I talk about him."

I hear the smile in his voice as he points to a photo of him and Casey in his Jeep.

"I can laugh at our old inside jokes, I can smile when I hear his name instead of wanting to cry. It didn't make the pain go away, I'm not sure it ever will. But it made it easier to remember him, you know? Casey wasn't a doom and gloom kind of guy. He was so... alive. That's how he deserves to be remembered."

Tears brimming in my lashes, I whisper, "But don't you miss him?"

Again, Luke's arms tighten around me so I'm pressed firmly to his chest, his answer immediate.

"Every single day."

Okay! A few very dialogue heavy chapters, but some things just needed to be said, amirite?
Stay tuned for more ❤️
I'm curious... in a battle of wills, who do you think would win: Dylan or Luke?
Merry Christmas Eve to those who celebrate and I hope you all stay safe!