Gabby.

I'm not sure how fast the car was going but it didn't matter. Time didn't matter. I felt paralyzed with fear. Jax's foot had the gas petal pressed to the floor of the car. Rain was falling so hard you couldn't even see what was in front of us.

Voices. So many voices. The sound Jax's voice attempting to reassure me that we would get there, we would get to Zooey. My dad's voice in the backseat, calling for backup and ambulances to the woods where the murder of Courtney Parker occurred seven years ago. Kane's voice echoing through my phone over and over telling me to leave a message and he'd get back to me. My own voice telling me we won't make it in time.

The three of us were right back to where we were seven years ago. This was literally my worst fear and Kane knew that from the night we played truth or dare. I cannot live without Zo, I can't do it. I can't live knowing I failed her, knowing that the one place I knew to protect her from - I had taken her straight to it.

I press Kane's number again and open the glovebox of my car. I dig through a mess of napkins, pens, and user manuals until I find Zooey's EpiPen that I keep stashed. Jax glances at it quickly and sets his eyes back on the rain-covered road.

"Tell me you have one with you..." I know he doesn't. Even if he was carrying one with him at all times, our clothes were in a muddy pile on my parent's living room floor. Part of me wants him to lie to me and say he does.

"I have two of them in my parent's house, but I'm not stopping to get them."

"How the hell are you going to get through the woods without it?!"

He sighs and grips the wheel tight as he takes the highway exit for Luxberg. "I'm not fucking up this time. I'm taking the road. Maybe Court would be alive if I had taken the road last time. Maybe I would have run into Kane if I had..."

The road is closed. His parents put up a large metal gate, he knows that. You can clearly see it from both of our houses.

Just as I'm about to ask how he plans to get to the road my phone begins to ring. My hopes of it being Kane are shattered when I see an unknown number appear.

"Answer it." My dad points to it the lit up screen.

"It's not Kane..."

"I don't care.  You answer every call you get until we have Zooey."

Tears fall at the sound of my daughter's name.  What if we don't get her back?  What if she's already having a reaction to a raspberry bush?  What if Kane has done something to her?  The image of Courtney's mangled face pierces into my memory.

"Answer it!" my dad demands.

With shaking hands I swipe the screen and press the speaker button.

"Hello?" My voice rattles.

"Gabby, it's Lily..." an old but familiar voice radiates through the speaker of the phone.  "I just spoke with Sydney..."

Right.  The yearbooks.  The stickers.  Did they even matter anymore?  Kane murdered Courtney, we know that now.

"Lily... my daughter has been abducted I can't talk..."

"Gabby! Tell me you have the yearbooks and the cups!"

My head shakes with confusion.  What cups?  What the hell is she taking about?

"I don't have cups, just the books... Lily I need to go..."

"SOLO cups?!" Jax asks the phone as he begins making turns through town at a very high rate of speed.

"Yes!" Her voice calls out.  "You found them?"

"I know where they are..." he nods as if she can see him.  "They were with the books under her bed..."

We don't have time for this. I don't care about some fucking cups. I need to call Kane again. I need him to answer me.

"I need to go!"

"It was hazing, Gabby! The football team... years of it.  They wouldn't give you the ball unless you proved you lost your virginity.  That's why they raped us.  Felix told Courtney all about it. The cups, he wants the cups back! Courtney found them at the bar and stole them! She was going to the police..."

The feeling of sinking hits me. Hazing? Cups? Felix told Courtney? Nothing was making sense and I didn't have time to figure it out.

"Gabby, I couldn't find the cups! I'm so sorry! I was scared! That's what he wanted... the cups! I'm so, so sorry!"

The phone goes blank; she ended the call.  Lily's terrified voice has disappeared.  He wants the cups. 

"Does she mean Kane?  Kane wants cups?  That's why he killed Courtney?"

"I know where they are. We need to stop at my house..."Jax floors the pedal again, zooming us past the school and down the lane to our homes.

"We don't have time for these fucking cups, Jax!  He has Zo!"

"He has Zooey and wants the cups, we give him the fucking cups!" He responds angrily.  I see him losing it, his control.  His anger is overtaking him now.  The anger of Courtney, of Zo, there's no holding him back this time.  He's seeing red.

My dad continues his conversation with dispatch, giving them all the information on Kane and his possible whereabouts. 

My head is flooded with the images of the last time the three of us where here.  The screams, the fear, the running, trails of blood.  He wouldn't really hurt Zooey, would he?  How could anyone hurt her?

Jax slams on the brakes in front of his house, causing the car to hydroplane and spin a bit before he brings the car to its complete stop.  The car door is thrown open and he runs as fast as he can towards the house.

"Your house is locked!" I run after him, becoming instantly soaked from the rain. 

He doesn't answer me, he isn't even listening to me.  He grabs a massive cement planter filled with rhododendrons from the front porch of his house and tosses it through the bay window, shattering it into thousands of tiny shards. Within seconds he has disappeared into the dark home.

I hear the car door behind me and see my dad take off for the woods, phone pressed to his ear. "You two take the road!" he calls back to me.

How the hell are we supposed to do that?

"Gabby, get back in the car!" Jax reemerges holding a clear plastic bag and his EpiPen and tosses them into the car.

"We can't get in there! The gate!" I motion to it. "We have to take the woods again!"

"Get in the fucking car!" He yells again. This is not up for debate. I run to the passenger seat and get in quickly.

"Put on your seatbelt and hold on."

I look back to him with wide eyes. What the hell is he going to do?

He puts the car into reverse back down the lane, the opposite direction of the woods. I do what he says and put on my seatbelt with urgency.  We are almost all the way back to the school before he brakes.

"Jax?!"

He doesn't look at me, he throws the shifter into drive and floors it. The tires spin for a bit on the flooded roadway before the car flies forward. The gate to the old roadway gets closer and closer... the car goes faster and faster... he has no intent on stopping.

"Jax..." I begin to squirm in my seat. The gate is directly ahead of us.

"Hold on!"

I grab the handle above the door and shield my face with my arm. The car quakes with the impact, sending my body forward and then backwards. Pain shoots up my back and my neck. My eyes open just in time to see the chain-linked gate fly off the back of the car.

He hits the gas again and begins speeding down the old roadway. I mentally attempt to prepare myself for what I'm about to find. The last time... what we found...

"What if she's hurt? What if he..." I can't finish the sentence. I keep trying to tell myself that Kane would never hurt Zooey. He loved her and wanted to adopt her. But the raspberry cupcakes, he did hurt her.

"I will fucking tear him apart limb by limb if he touches one hair on her head..." His eyes and tone tell me this is the truth. This is not the Jax I know. This is the Jax that broke Jimmy the day of Courtney's rape. This is the Jax my dad told me to fear.

The car rips through the overgrown road, colliding with thick brush, overgrown grass and large puddles of mud. We get about three quarters of the way down the road before the car hits a flooded part of the road and stalls. Jax doesn't even attempt to get it going again. He reaches behind the seat and tosses me the EpiPen and bag before he opens his driver door and takes off running forward down the road.

The sky lights up, temporarily allowing me to see my path before the ground shakes with a mighty boom of thunder.  Run.

Panic overtakes me, my feet carry me down a road I haven't been down in seven years.  Please God, let me find my Zo.  Please let her be okay. 

The rain pelts my skin.  I hear yelling ahead but I can't make out the words over the sounds of the storm.  My feet sink a little more every time they hit the mud, slowing me down. I hear Jax.  I hear my dad.  I hear Kane.  I hear my daughter crying. Thank God.  All the noises feel like they are coming from a different direction and I freeze, trying to focus on if I'm hearing Zooey in the woods or at the lake.

"Zooey!" I scream out. 

Silence. 

My stomach churns with the deja-vu.  My dad, Jax and I are separated again, on one mission - to find a beautiful green-eyed blonde. My nightmare is literally unfolding before my eyes. I take a chance, I continue running down the road to the dock to where we found Court.  That's where my dream always takes me, I need to trust my instinct.

More voices call out behind me.  They yell my name, they yell for dad, they yell for... Kane?  One of the voices is Felix, the other I can't make out.

"Zooey where are you baby?!" I yell out again.

"Books! Dock!"

I run, I run so damn fast I can't breathe. When I break through the clearing I first see Jax, standing completely still, my dad behind him, both their eyes focused on the dock.  Jax's eyes shift to me at the sound of me dropping the items I've been carrying.  He holds his hand up as if to tell me to stay right where I am.  I can't bring myself to look.  My chest heaves, partially from running but mostly from fear.

"Babe, you came."

I cringe at the voice calling out to me.  I finally turn and see Kane, then Zooey.  His hand is over her mouth, her eyes are squinted shut. I can't tell if she's crying or swollen.

"Zooey!" I begin to run towards them.

"Books, no!" Jax calls out in panic.

Kane lifts Zooey by his grip on her mouth and I hear her cry in pain, causing me to halt in my steps.  My sobs overtake me.  "Zo! I'm here baby girl! Mom and dad are here!"  Her little hands grip Kane's arm attempting to pull him off.  I couldn't even pull him off, but she was trying, and trying hard.

"Gabby stay where you are!" I look to my dad and I see his phone lit up behind his back, it's tucked in the back of his jeans, he's obviously still on the line with dispatch and trying not to let Kane see.

I turn back to Kane and his dark eyes meet mine.  They appear even darker tonight.  The look of love I am used to seeing has been replaced.  This is not the same man I thought I knew.  He looks terrifying.  Rain water drips from his chiseled face, his glare towards me deepens sending a cold shiver down my spine.

A creepy laugh escapes him, one that reminds me of how Tyler used to laugh.  "So, this is awkward..." he chuckles.

"Why are you doing this, Kane?  What the hell happened to you?"  I honestly need to know, because everything I thought I knew about him is gone.  I trusted Kane, more than I trusted most people in my life.

His smile disappears.  He almost looks... sad?  "You.  You happened, Gabby."

Me?  How could I have caused any of this?

"Gabby!"  Felix breaks through the brush, gasping for air.  His eyes widen at the sight of Kane holding Zooey.  I hold my hand up, telling him not to move.  He doesn't.

Then someone else breaks through.  I glare at Tyler, knowing we have another problem on our hands.  I need to focus on Kane and Zooey, but I don't trust the man behind me.  He doesn't even look at me, he looks towards Kane and shakes his head in horror. "Kane what the hell?!  She's a little girl, let her go!"

"You" Kane points to Tyler. "You started this."

I don't understand.  I don't even care to at this point.  "Kane please..." I beg.  "Let Zooey go! Give her to Felix and you can take me instead..."

"Nah."  He chuckles and tightens his grip on her causing her to scream into a muffled hand.  "I like making daddy here squirm. Not such a badass now, are you thug?"

"Let her go" Jax calls out.  "Or I'm going to make you regret it.  That's on top of the beating I'm already due to give you. Just like I did the last guy who assaulted my sister.  He can't walk..."

Kane looks at him smiling, but I swear I see him crying too.  His jaw is quivering, but clenched. "We protect our younger siblings, right?  That's our job.  Right, Felix?"  He looks to his best friend and Felix looks down to the muddy ground.  "Felix didn't do a very good job though.  Neither did you, Jax.  I did what I needed to do."

"I never asked for your damn help, Kane!" Tyler yells with anger, rain water spits from his lips. "I didn't rape her. I didn't need your help because I didn't fucking do anything!"

Seriously?! We are still going to stand here and lie about this after seven years while ignoring the face that my fiancé murdered my best friend and currently had my six year old in his grasp?!

The sky opens up and cracks again, lighting up our group for just a few seconds.

"You did Ty, you raped her..." Kane nods as he cries. "And it was my fault." He slaps his chest with his entire hand. "Mine."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Tyler's eyes grow. "I didn't drug her! I never handed her a drink! We were talking, we got in the car, things got heated!"

Lies.  Fucking lies.  I just want my daughter.  Standing here disagreeing with Kane will not help.

"Kane, please!" I call out trying to end this stupid rape debate for the last time. "Please let Zo go! She's scared! She has nothing to do with this. Let Felix take her!"

He acts as if I'm not there, continuing his gaze towards his younger brother. "I never said you drugged her."

Tyler's side glance meets mine and his confusion is matched with my own.  Nothing Kane is saying is making sense.  I'm tired of listening to his random babble, I want my daughter.

I take a step forward and lift my hand as if to keep him calm.  "Kane, please don't do this.  You love that little girl and she is scared..."

"I should have never done it" Kane begins to sniffle, his eyes are glued to mine.  "I didn't think you'd get into his car.  You disappeared, I thought you went home.  You went with him..."

My gut twists with his words.  Is he saying what I think he's saying?  That doesn't make any sense.  Tyler drugged me and got me in his car, right?  It was so long ago.  I went to read and found Tyler's homecoming party.  I was going to leave, I was alone and my friends weren't there.  Someone put their arm around me and handed me a blue cup, I made my drink... why did I stay?  They weren't my friends. 

Cups.

I look to the bag that is now sitting in a puddle of mud by my feet.  I pick it up and slide my hand over the clear plastic, swiping the mud away to reveal blue plastic cups. These are just like the one I had that night.

One.

"Just one Gabs?" A strong arm snakes around me. A comforting arm. One that I want around me. One I have always wanted around me. My cheeks turn pink towards the attention he's giving me. His grip has my stomach in butterflies. I take the blue cup from him and poor myself the lightest drink I can make, Sprite and Cherry McGillicuddy's. I quickly down it, taking the nerve off how nervous I am. It works a little too well. The drink is much stronger than I thought, making me light headed. I turn and he's gone, sending a pang of disappointment straight to the heart and also sending me into a dizzying spell that has me clutching the table they set up with the booze on it.

"You okay, Gabby?" A different familiar voice.

Tyler. I roll my eyes at him. We were friends once, good friends, before he became popular. I catch him watching me sometimes, like he wants to talk to me again like we used to, back when his mom was sick and he didn't have anybody else, but he doesn't because of his social standing.

"You're stumbling" he laughs. He has Kane's laugh, and his smile. I like it. "Drink too much?"

I shrug. "I guess."

"Want to go sit? Sober up? My car is over there..." He points to an old Teal Ford Escort. What a piece of shit.

I grip the table again and take a step back, nearly falling to the ground. Tyler's arm grabs mine, supporting me with ease so I don't topple over. I look around again, I still don't see where he went. His arm was around me, I thought maybe this was it. More disappointment floods me. I turn back to Tyler. "Okay..."

My eyes dart back to Kane as I clutch the bag. The words barely escape my lips. "It was you..." I swallow hard. "You handed me the cup..."

"Just one Gabs..." One, I had one friend there that night. That friend was Kane Porter, the boy I liked. The boy who's attention I craved more than anything. He put his arm around me and handed me my cup, I was in heaven.

"What are these?!" I shake the bag with anger. "You killed Courtney for these! What are they?!"

Kane swipes the rain from his face, maybe his tears too. His eyes land on the bag in my hands. "They were for football." He sounds defeated, his shoulders sink. "It was tradition, the hazing. Prove you lost your virginity or you don't get the ball. We were the first team to go to state in thirty years, some of the guys they were having... trouble. Girls wouldn't give it up. So I laced the cups. Every guy on the team made it to state and we won. I kept the cups for teams the next few years, kept them at the bar. Tyler had a good team his senior year, he mentioned that the guys weren't getting the deed done so I brought them to the homecoming party with the booze..."

His eyes are frantic, looking everywhere but at Tyler and I. His grip is loosening on Zo, her whimpers are stopping. I need to keep him talking. I can tell that Jax is seeing this too, he takes baby steps forward as Kane rambles.

"Then I saw you Gabby... and I liked you. Always did. Felix always told me to stay away from you, he was protective. But he wasn't there that night. He left town, crossed off his fucking number and went off to college. You looked hesitant to be there and I wanted you to like me so fucking bad. So I did something stupid. I gave you a cup, thinking you'd get wasted, I'd carry you off, help you sober up, we'd chat, you'd fall for me the way I had already fallen for you. I wasn't going to try anything, I swear. I got my car, came back and you were gone." His eyes divert to Tyler with anger. "I thought you left and didn't drink, the cup was sitting there empty. I didn't know you were with Tyler."

I glance back at Tyler and now I see he's crying and looking back at me, head shaking. "I didn't know Gabby. The cups, I didn't even know about them. Christ I really didn't, I liked you. I always did and you were in my