Gabby.

Sydney paces the room, biting her thumb nail, muttering different words that I can't quite make out. I think I broke her. She's in just as much shock as I am right now if not more. Whenever she does stop pacing, she looks back to Jax, shakes her head and then begins pacing again.

Jax is on his phone texting, not giving me the time of day. A girlfriend maybe? God Gabby, he can have a life... even if you don't want him to.

"What's the plan exactly? Is dad going to reopen the case? Was it ever technically closed?"

My gaze shifts away from Jax and back to Sydney, who has ended her mini-meltdown. I give her a shrug. We couldn't come up with a plan that didn't put Zo in danger.

"The case was never closed, they just aren't actively pursuing it" Jax clarifies.  "Dan never could be part of the case since he was involved, plus he's not a detective."

"Evidence?" Sydney sits on the bed beside me, sounding hopeful.

His head shakes no. "Footprints and a piece of green felt, according to Dan. It rained that entire week. Everything washed away."

They begin going back and forth about different types of evidence, the letters my dad receives every year, etc. I tune them both out. My eyes are on Jax's chest. He has more tattoos than he did when he left. My focus is on one, just one. It's about the size of a large walnut, and placed over his heart, a stack of old tattered books, the top one lying open with the word Books in cursive. My heart skips a beat at the sight of it. He has something that personal but he can't even acknowledge that I'm here? The girl he loved is sitting right here on his bed and we aren't even going to talk about this? I wonder what the new girl thinks of that... God Gabby, you don't know there's a new girl. You're getting married. Let him go.

"Your dad will be over here in about ten minutes."

I leave my daydream and furrow my brows at Jax. "Is that who you've been texting? What are you two like BFFs now?! I thought you two didn't talk!"

"I'm not privy of knowledge of what to do when someone is trying to kill me, Gabby! But I thought he should know that Sydney is now involved. Just warning you, he's pissed."

"He'll get over it" Sydney and I both say in unison with a roll of two sets of eyes. I stand from his bed and lean against his desk, taking in the disheveled room.

Jax chuckles at the two of us and finally he turns and meets my eyes.  Heat flushes my face and my stomach begins doing flip-flops. His eyes leave mine only briefly as they scan me.  As if he's finally noticed that the girl whose nickname is tattooed on his chest is actually here in the same room.  It's as if he's checking me out for the first time ever, suddenly I'm extremely happy on my dress choice tonight.  His eyes crease with his smile when he sees my shoes, returning his eyes to mine.  I miss those green eyes.  But just as quick as I have his attention again, his head shakes to shake those thoughts away.  His smile disappears and he turns away.  "I'm going to go wait for your dad and try and calm him down before he gets in this room."  He walks out leaving me and Sydney.

"Gabby... what are you going to do?"

I bury my face into my hands and take a few deep breaths, trying to get my head right.  "Marry Kane." I put my hands back in my lap.

Sydney frowns like that wasn't what she wanted to hear.  She shifts uncomfortably and smooths out her short blue dress. "But Gabby, it's Jax... that's Zo's dad.  There will never be another Jax, you cannot tell me that you aren't having doubts right now about marrying Kane.  I know you love Kane and he loves you.  But you need to be sure before you walk down that aisle."

I motion to the door with a face filled with tears. "Does he even remotely seem interested that I am sitting in his room right now? No. He hasn't even asked about Zo. He's here but he's not the same. Even if he was begging for me to take him back... I'm getting married to Kane in..." I peer to Jax's clock and see it's a little after midnight, "...six days."

"Figure this out Gabby. Eventually you're going to have to tell Kane he's home. You can't hide this from him."

"She's not telling anyone anything." My dad's voice is firm. His face is red with anger as he stands in the doorway. "You realize you put Sydney into danger by telling her."

Jax stands behind him, looking at me sympathetically. He should feel bad. Bringing my dad over here tonight helped nothing.

"Jesus dad, I'm not worried. You cannot expect her dead boyfriend to come home the week of her wedding to another man and her to not have a breakdown. That's not fair!" Sydney always was one to come to my defense when I'd mess up. Once again I feel myself appreciating my little sister even more. I look back to Jax and see his eyes on the floor. He feels bad for coming home.

Sydney and my dad continue to argue about him keeping this a secret, how he should have told someone at the police department about the letters. About how he could lose his job for this. I take this time to approach Jax. I stand in front of him and just wait for him to say something, anything. He doesn't.

"You're really not going to talk to me?"

"Gabby..." his eyes roll. "We talked this morning."

"You're not even going to ask about your daughter? You don't want to know what she looks like? Or what her favorite food is?"

"I can't" his eyes fill with tears.

I frown at him, giving him a frustrated stare. "Are you seeing someone?" It comes out as a whisper. I can't even look at him after I ask because I don't want to know the answer.

"No. There's no one else." His head shakes. "I just, can't get attached. She has a dad, she has Kane. He's been there for her. I'm dead to her and even if I could meet her, something could happen to me for real this time. I won't put her through that. Plus, I've already put her into danger just by answering Dan's call." He still won't look at me. I swallow hard and nod my head agreeing but screw this. That little girl is his.

"Her name is Zooey Court Parker."

"Gabby, please..." he continues to cry. Now my dad and Syd have stopped their arguing and are staring at us.

"She was born on December 22nd, which she loves because she gets more presents at Christmas.  She was six pounds and six ounces, pink and perfect."  He may say he doesn't want to know her but he is hanging on to every word coming from my lips.   "She is my mini but she has your green eyes.  She has long blonde hair and long skinny legs.  Her favorite food is pancakes.  She hates popcorn, which is fine because you know I don't like to share.  She loves to read Jax..." He smiles and laughs through his tears. "I mean really loves it.  She's six and reading chapter books.  Her favorite is Boxcar Children and that's because they are missing a parent like she is."

"Gabby..." he pleads for me to stop again but I don't.  He needs to hear this.  He doesn't have to want me back but he needs to know her and she needs to know him.

"Kane is not her dad.  She knows that.  Not once have I ever told that little girl that Kane was her dad.  She thinks you passed away because you were sad.  She took that hard Jax.  She doesn't like to talk about you and I try.  She needs a dad.  She needs you.  I understand why you don't want to tell her but we are going to figure this out.  We are going to find out who took Court from us and who is threatening our daughter."

He nods his head and I lean up and wipe the tears from his face.  He reaches up and grabs my hands, holding them near his face.  His chest rises and falls fast as he looks into my eyes.  My heart is breaking.  This was how I wanted him to look at me.  He's still in there.  But this hurts, because I want him to tell me he loves me.  What would I say if he said it?

"You're marrying Kane Porter on Saturday." He whispers it and lets go of my hands.

My stomach sinks, tears flood my face. "Yes I am."

I want to run from this house, throw myself into my childhood bed and never come out.  Everything is so fucked up.  How can I love two people so much and so differently?  How do I even explain to Kane that Jax is alive and then lie and say I don't love him anymore.  I can't not love Jax. 

"Jax.  Courtney's things, did your parents keep them?"  Sydney is asking Jax but her eyes are on me.  She knows how upset I am by what just happened and is trying to get us back on track.

"Yeah. Her room is the same.  Nothing has changed."  He turns away and rubs his eyes.  "Why?"

"I think we should start there.  We go over every inch of it.  Something was upsetting her and she wanted to talk to dad.  Maybe she left something behind that would point us in the right direction as to what that was."

"Syd the police combed that room.  They found nothing out of the ordinary." My dad shakes his head.  "We need to lure the person out, as dangerous as that is..."

"No.  It needs to be her room first.  Not tonight obviously.  It will look suspicious if we are gone all night.  We look through her room first before doing anything drastic like luring out a murderer.  Police looked through her room not knowing something important, something that Gabby and I do."

I look to my sister confused.  I don't know anything about what would be in there.  I'm not sure I even want to go in there.

"Such as?" My dad asks.

"The mind of a teenage girl."