Gabby.

In an attempt not to wake my sleeping daughter, I very carefully crawl out of my bed and sneak to the hallway, quietly closing the door behind me.  It's four in the morning, the entire house is sleeping.

I didn't sleep at all last night and I just want Kane's arms around me.  My dad doesn't like the idea of Kane in my bed while we are here, which is ridiculous since we are engaged and have obviously fornicated. I mean yes, he has his own apartment in Minneapolis but he's never there.  So here I am, sneaking into Felix's old bedroom so I can cuddle with my damn fiancé.

Kane is lying on his stomach with his arms wrapped around his pillow, mouth hanging open with a light snore.  I can't help but to smile.  "Move over, handsome" I whisper close to his ear.  His eyes flicker and he rolls to his side, lifting the comforter so that I can crawl in beside him.  He wraps the blanket and his arm around me and places a gentle kiss on my shoulder.

"Did you sleep?"

"No" I sigh.  "Sue is coming over this morning and I have to explain to her why I've kept Zo a secret for seven years.  How do I do that? It's her granddaughter..."

His body remains tense but he lets out a deep breath.  "Do you want me there for support?"

As lovely as his offer is, I can't have him there.  He doesn't need to hear about my relationship with Jax.  I'm definitely going to need him after though.

"No. I need to do this on my own.  It's something I should have done before I left."

"I get that." He presses another kiss to my shoulder.

"Kane, what if they want to be in her life?  It's not that I don't want her to know her grandparents.  I love Sue and Larry.  But after these two weeks... I'm not coming back.  Nothing has changed."

"We will make it work.  Maybe they can meet you half way and you can spend time with them.  Listen to what they have to say first and go from there. Stop worrying. Try and sleep, Gabs."

I nod and snuggle in close, falling asleep in his arms.

<><><>

A throat clears, causing my eyelids to open instantly.  My dad stands with his arms crossed in the doorway of Felix's room.

Laughter erupts from Kane's chest as he pulls me in close. "Morning Dan."

"This defeats the purpose of the separate rooms..."

"I assure you there was no sex last night Mr. B... just groping, possibly some foreplay..."

I giggle and cover my face as my dad glares at me shaking his head. "I don't know what he's talking about daddy... I'm a virgin."

Laughter comes from the hall from Sydney. "Right. Me too dad! Let's ask Felix when he gets here! I bet he's one too!"

"That boy is no virgin" Kane chuckles and buries his head into my back.

"Right. Well, your immaculately concepted child is awake downstairs and would like pancakes."

"I'll make her pancakes." Kane crawls out of the bed and gives my dad a pat on the back before walking out of the room.

My dad continues to hover in the doorway, worry clouding his tired face. Is he seriously upset that I crawled into bed with my fiancé? I'm mean really... he caught Sydney having sex with her fiancé in the shower. Kane was joking about the groping and foreplay (okay, mostly joking about it... there was a little groping).

My eyes roll and I sit up, showing my completely clothed body. "I couldn't sleep dad. We didn't do anything. We just cuddled."

"What are you going to tell Sue?" His arms cross over his chest again. Apparently I was not the only one in this house up worrying about this.

I rub my face and try and wake myself up a little more. "She knows. Did you see her face last night? I have to tell her the truth, Zo is her granddaughter. I mean those bright green eyes and an allergy to raspberries? No denying that. I mean yeah, she's my mini, but she could be Courtney's mini too..." I loved that about Zo.  I loved that she looked like all three of us.  That she was the only thing still connecting me to two people I loved so much.

He sighs heavily, pressing his eyes closed tight as if he's thinking hard.

"Do you think they will try and get some sort of custody of her?"  I begin snapping the rubber bands on my wrist. 

Snap.

"No.  I'm sure they will want to see her though, Gabby.  It took a lot to keep this a secret and it's... just a lot.  It's going to be a lot on them."

Snap.

"I'm fine with them seeing her.  I just don't want it to be here.  One night back and I almost lost my daughter to a damn cupcake."

Snap. Snap.

He shakes his head with frustration and looks at my wrist.  "I need to make some calls."

"To who?" My eyebrow lifts.  "Dad I don't care if they know but I don't want the whole town knowing."

"Well for starters I'm going to call Larry and prepare him.  Because you know Sue will be freaking out when she returns to her house and Larry will catch the brunt of it.  She will play it off here, but the poor woman will be a mess when she gets back to him. He's the level headed one."

I nod knowing he's right.  "Good plan."

Snap.

<><><>

The summer breeze hits me as I swing back and forth on the porch.  My hands keep together in a firm clutch to prevent them from shaking.  Why am I so nervous to talk to Sue?  Part of me thinks it's because I've disappointed her.  I kept her grandchild a secret and at a distance. 

Another part of me still feels like that eighteen year old girl who didn't want to disappointment her by dating her son.  Jax had told me once that his parents didn't like when he dated Courtney's friends.  And by dated I mean 'humped and dumped'.  He said that Courtney's friends were cruel to her after her assault so he had no problem using them for his game.  The problem was that it always seemed to his parents that when he "dated" them - that Courtney would lose her friends.  Looking back now, it makes sense why the first day I met her she told me to stay away from him.

So we had my dad telling us to stay apart, his parents basically telling us to stay apart, Courtney told us no, Kane was tattling to my dad to keep us apart and at the end even Felix was trying.  There was this pull between Jax and I, we weren't meant to be apart.  No matter how many times we were told no, we found our way back together.  Every no just made us want each other more.  I know I'm my heart that energy that kept pulling us closer, it was so that I would end up with Zo.  This little girl was made from so much love, and now I had to find a way to explain this to Jax's mom. 

As soon as Sue walks out her front door my stomach is churning.  I already want to cry and plead for her forgiveness.  She slowly makes her way up my porch steps and leans against the railing in front of me, folding her own hands together against her front.

"I don't know where to start..." It almost comes out as a whisper.  I blink away tears and take a deep breath in to exhale it slowly.

"I need to know something first..."

I bring my head up and look at her face, waiting for her to ask why I wouldn't tell her something this important, why I would hide this from her.  Her face tells me she is searching for the right way to ask the question.

"As much as I want to think the best in my son, with this I need to know because I know how he was.  Did he win you over with that charm, sleep with you and dump you?  Did you drop Courtney's friendship and that's why she was so upset those last few weeks?"

My eyes widen.  "Oh gosh Sue no, that was not the case at all." My hands wave as if they are shooing that notion right off this porch.  Yikes, her mind pulled her the wrong way.  "We had no clue why Courtney was like that those last few weeks, she became paranoid that her, Jax and I weren't safe in town..."

"But you and Jax were upset with each other that night.  Numerous nights actually.  We thought you were friends.  I guess I just need you to clear this up because everything we thought seems to not be true..."

I scoot over on my swing and pat the seat.  She sits beside me and pats my hand, giving me a little more courage than I had a few moments before.  My tears shed from my already swollen eyes.  I decide to just lay it out.  "Sue, your son was the love of my life.  I loved him more than anything in this world.  And I know he felt the same because he told me every chance he had.  Everyone tried keeping us apart and it drove us closer together.  From the day I met him until the day he died, people tried to drive us apart.  Nothing and no one could do it.  Courtney wasn't my only best friend, Jax was too.  When everyone turned on me, those two kept me going. The three of us had each other's backs no matter what."

My head shakes as I try and get through this next part.  She remains silent but her eyes are huge listening to what she's hearing.  "Then someone took Court from us.  And the two of us broke.  I was not okay.  He was obviously not okay.  But we agreed that we were going to get through this horrible time together.  That was the day I found out I was pregnant.  I drove directly home to tell him and that was the day of his suicide.  I never got the chance."

Her hand covers her face as she looks away from me and back towards her own home.  "I'm so sorry Sue.  I couldn't be here without them.  I needed out of this fucking town.  The only two people who had my back were gone and I broke.  This is the first time I've been home since I left.  Honestly, I had no intention of ever coming back here.  This place terrifies me.  A place I trusted, destroyed my life.  My home. It took everything.  And when I thought it couldn't take anymore it took Jax.  That little girl is the only thing I had left and I had to protect her by keeping her away from this place.  And in the process that kept her from you and Larry.  I am so sorry but I had to do it.  Please don't hate me..."

"Gabby I could never hate you."  Her voice shakes as she speaks. "Everything just makes more sense now. He loved you and..."

"Do you want to meet Zo? She's inside." I cut her off. I don't want to hear about him loving me because I can't keep it together. "I'd like for her to know you guys. I just need to warn you that she doesn't like talking about Jax. She knows he's gone and it upsets her. I try as much as I can to talk to her about how much I loved him and how much she's like him but she shuts down."

Her mouth opens but shuts. Then she looks to her house and back to me. "I really want Larry to meet her at the same time. I don't want to overwhelm her twice. Larry puts on a brave face but it's a rough week for him."

It's been seven years this week almost since the murder. Seven years the following week since Jax. I get it. I give her a nod.

"Gabby, how about you bring over some of those center pieces that need to be put together on Thursday. I would really like to help. Your mom seems stressed. Larry and I won't get to do this with Courtney and I think it would make him feel good to help you, he loves ya like I do. Then maybe if he's out of his funk we could meet her together?"

I look at their home and back to her. "At your house?" She gestures her head with a yes. I haven't been in there since the night of Court's party. I'm not sure I can go in there. I have so many memories in that house that hurt to think about. Her face looks so troubled and I feel like I've hurt her so much already by keeping Zo from them.

I feel sick as I say one word.

"Okay."