Gabby.

Graduation was merely three weeks away.  The only time I was seeing Courtney was in class, and thank god for that.  I couldn't look at Morgan.  The girl honestly tried to talk to me and I couldn't do it.  Cole just doesn't speak.

Felix is still angry with me.  He speaks to me, but it's not the same as it was.  I ruined his summer.  For the first time ever, he was in trouble.  He tried the 'I'm twenty years old and you can't ground me' act but the only reply he received was that he was living under my parent's roof.   This also applied to me.  I may be eighteen and a graduate by this summer but it was their house, their rules. 

Sydney was also in trouble for the first time ever.  I get that she went to a party that she wasn't supposed to, but it was the first party she had snuck off too.  Her punishment wasn't exactly fair.  Felix threw a party, underage, for minors.  I understood why he was being punished.  At the same time, I liked that Sydney couldn't go anywhere because I know she was safe.

Jax and I hadn't seen each other in weeks.  Anytime my parents would leave, he and I would speak on the phone.  Again, I was hiding these calls from Felix.  No one knew that Jax and I were together.  I'm not even sure Courtney knew, if she did she was keeping it to herself. We didn't talk about him.  I think I was afraid she would tell Felix; at the same time, Felix was supposed to be staying away from them too.  The only time I saw Jax was at night, as I would read from my porch.  He would sit on his front porch and do the same.  We were so close and so far away at the same time.  All I wanted was to meet him in the middle of the street for a hug.  Just one hug would make me feel a million times better. 

So here I sat, on my parent's bed with Sydney, watching them pack for their yearly weekend anniversary trip.

"I don't think we should go."

"Dan, I'm going on this trip with or without you.  Honestly, you need a weekend away from our kids." 

My mom begins throwing bathing suits into her purple suitcase that lay sprawled out on the bed.  She's usually pretty OCD about packing and making her suitcase perfect, today this was not the case. Some of the items she had thrown hadn't even made it into the case; they hung out of it.

They were acting as if Sydney and I were not laying across their bed listening to them argue over us.  Syd and I would just share looks, knowing we were causing them to fight again.

My dad stops packing and glares at my mother.  He's obviously not seeing this the same as she is and he's ready to argue his point.

"They are the reason why we should be staying home! Do you honestly trust that all three of them will remain in this house while we are gone, leaving them unsupervised?"

I want to speak up but I know to keep my mouth shut.  I just frown and continue flipping through the People magazine my mom had set next to her carryon bag.

"No, I don't think they will."  My mom answers honestly as she glares back at him.  "I didn't when I was their ages."

My head lifts to them and so does Sydney's.  My mom looks down directly to me.

"Felix is in charge.  Do you hear me?  If I find out you put one toe outside this house you will be grounded until the day you move out of it."

"Okay" I mutter and flip another page.

"Who's in charge of Felix then?" Sydney scoffs.

I look to my little sister wide-eyed, shaking my head no.  Shut up Syd, talking back won't help.

My dad chuckles and looks to my mother.  "Good question. Maybe we should get Jackson Parker to babysit Vick, he's the only one who's been honest about our kid's activities..."

My face flushes to a shade of hot pink as he says this.  Jax has not been honest lately. He said dad stopped asking about me during their meetings.  Somehow I think my dad knows that we are still together.

My father sees the change in tint to my cheeks and I see a twinkle in his eye, as if I just confirmed his suspicions.

"Don't like that idea Gabs?" he stares at me.  "I mean it's adorable how you two read books from your porches together..."

"Dan..." my mom sighs.  "Leave her alone."

My stomach twists.  "I've stayed away from him since the morning after the party."

"Right" he laughs.

"She has!" Sydney comes to my aid. "None of us have left and I'm with her all the time! She reads from the porch while he does the same, that's it!"

I give my sister a heartfelt smile for trying to help but it's no use.  He's right, I have zero plans to stay away from Jackson Parker once I'm free.  I'm in love with the bookworm criminal and that is one thing my dad sure as hell does not know.

"Felix is in charge.  None of you leave the house.  End of discussion."

"Vic-"

"I said end of discussion!" My mother yells back at my dad.  "That means for everyone!  I'm sick of hearing about it! I'm on vacation from work and my kids! I'm going to a beach! I'm going to drink! No more bickering!"

She takes the magazine from my hands, hits both Syd and I with it and throws it back to her carryon bag.

"Out!  All of you!" 

She shoos us out of the bed and to the door.  It slams behind us once we've cleared the threshold. Even my dad is kicked out of the bedroom and I can't help but laugh at my mom's little meltdown.  She's not one to get worked up about anything.  Sydney giggles as she leaves the hallway and I even look up to see my dads lips turn up into a smile as he stares at the closed wooden door. 

He looks down to me and chuckles.  "I love when she does that."

Even when my parents argue, I love the way they look at each other.  They're mad, but they are still crazy in love. 

"Me too" I give him a happy nod and leave towards my room.

"Gabs..." he calls out to me.

I peek my head back around the door and look at him.  He presses his lips together and stares at me.

"Be careful" his shoulders drop.

"Dad it's two days.  We will stay out of trouble for two days... it's fine." I roll my eyes.

"I don't mean this weekend..." he stares at me.

I say nothing.  I know exactly what he means by this.  He wants me to be careful around Jax.

"He loves you.  He wouldn't say it to me when I asked him but he does..."

I swallow hard and nod my head yes with a tear coming down my face.  He always knows.

"Do you feel - feel that you love him too?"

More tears come down my face.  I nod my head yes again.

He sighs and looks from the hallway out the window of my bedroom to the blue Victorian house across the street. 

"Dad please don't make his life miserable because of me... he's trying really hard..."

He forces a laugh.  "Does he worry about that?" His brow lifts playfully.

I nod my head yes again.  I may have just screwed Jax over royally by telling my dad I loved him.

He pulls out his wallet and hands me a twenty dollar bill.  I hold it in my hand and look to him with complete confusion.

"Go pick up lunch from Mickey's."

My jaw drops as I stare at him.  He's letting me leave?! To go to Mickey's?!

"You're still grounded Gabby. You have a half hour.  Thank you for being honest with me."

He walks down the stairs without saying another word. 

He doesn't have to tell me twice.  I grab my car keys from my dresser before he can change his mind.  Any other day I would walk but I want as much time in that restaurant as I can have.

I put on my chucks and run past Sydney who is sitting on the couch of the living room doing a crossword puzzle in an old People magazine we had lying around.  I stop, suddenly feeling a pang of guilt.  What I did was way worse than what she did. She drives me crazy but this would not be fair.

With a roll of my eyes I walk back to the kitchen.  My dad is sorting their travel plans at the table. Neat piles of papers have appeared before him as he shuffles through more paperwork.

"Dad?" I suck in a breath and attempt not to piss him off.

He looks up to me over his readers, with a look that tells me he's wondering why I haven't left yet. Part of me is also wondering this.

Please don't revoke my field trip...

I begin to snap and stare down to the multi-colored rubber bands on my wrist.  "Can I take Syd with me?"

I look up to see his reaction. He hesitates but eventually smiles and nods his head yes, pulling out his wallet again and throwing down another ten dollars.

"Thank you" I let out the breath and relax. I kiss his cheek as another thank you.  "We will be back in a half hour."

I run to the couch and grab Sydney's hand, pulling her as hard as I can until she falls to the floor.  "Come on brat..." I toss her shoes to her.  "Dobby is free!"

She laughs and looks at me like I'm crazy.  "Gabby we can't leave? Dad will freak..."

"He freed us for a half hour.  Hurry before he changes his mind."

"What about Felix?"  She slides on her purple Nike tennis shoes and gazes up to me.

I look up the stairs towards his room and shift back and forth between my two feet, having a debate with myself. As much as I want the three of us to go out and enjoy time together that's not in this house, Felix is being an asshole.

"I'm not fighting to get him out when he told me to stay away from him the rest of the summer.  It's not my fault he's in trouble.  We all know what we did, he blames Jax because he was caught and he's taking it out on me."

She shrugs in an understanding way.

We get into the car quickly and make the three minute jaunt to Main Street. 

"How did you get us out?" she asks excitedly as we walk into Mickey's.

"I was honest with him.  He asked if I was in love with Jax and I said yes."

"You said what?!" Her eyes get huge.

I say nothing more, just smile.  My smile gets even bigger as I walk in and see Jax standing behind the large oak bar laughing with Mickey.  His glance comes to the sound of the bell above the door and his eyes meet mine.  Immediately I feel a fire in me that only he can put out.  His conversation with Mickey halts and a huge grin comes over his face.

"Alfie I need a hug" I let out a tired giggle.

He quickly walks out from behind the bar and wraps his arms around me tight, kissing my hair as he does it.  My arms wrap around his neck and his hug lifts my feet from the ground.

"Books how did you escape?"  He sets me back on the floor.

"That is a story for the phone.  We have a half hour to eat."

He glances at Sydney and back to me and let's me go quickly.

"You can hug her, she told me she loves you." Sydney laughs and walks to the bar to order her food.

He laughs and looks back to me with his bright green eyes.  The smile on his face is everything I needed today.

"Well in that case..." he places the his hand on the side of my face, bringing me into our first kiss in almost a month. Our lips connect and I hold them in place, savoring every moment of it.

"I love you" I whisper as I pull away.

He places his forehead against mine and wraps his arms around me again.

"I love you too Gabby."

"I thought we were eating! I'm hungry!" Sydney yells across the room.

I laugh and pull away from Jax nodding. "We are here to eat..."

"Uh huh" he laughs. "And does Daddy Dan know this is where you are eating?"

I catch his eyes and hesitate. He didn't want my dad to know about us. "He suggested it actually..."

His laughter disappears and an awkward smile appears. "Oh? Why would he do that?"

I don't answer, I just keep looking to him as if I'm telepathically telling him what I told my dad today.

"Gabby..." he sighs, closing his eyes. He doesn't look angry but definitely frustrated. He brings his hands up to his face and holds them there.

"He asked! I couldn't lie anymore..."

"What exactly did he ask?" His hands drop back to his sides.

"If I was in love with you... I said yes and he gave me money and said to come eat here and it was my reward for being honest."

He rubs his head again and laughs. "Why do I feel like he's offering me my last meal before he murders me for loving his daughter?"

I can't help but to laugh. "Well than you're going out with a bang Jackson Parker."

His eyes lift playfully towards me. "Really?"

I push his chest and roll my eyes. "Not like that perv."

He laughs and pulls me in close again.  I wrap my arms around him and focus on his warmth.  All I wanted was a hug and he didn't disappoint.

"Have you taken a break yet? Can you eat with us?"

"I'll eat with you" he kisses the side of my face. "I'm done today anyways. Mickey was training me to bartend."

We place our orders at the bar and pick an open booth. Jax sits beside me while Sydney sits opposite us. She stares at his tattoos and I can't help but to smile. Obviously us Brooks women have a thing for them. Even my dad has them, not a lot, but enough that my mom must enjoy them. I cringe at that thought. TMI Gabby, stop thinking about it.

Jax's hand moves to my inner thigh his eyes meeting mine again. "What book have you been reading?"

"Death on the Nile."

His brow lifts. "Agatha Christie, eh? You really are all over the place when it comes to your book collection."

I give him a shrug. "Depends on my mood. If I need a distraction I focus on murder mysteries. They keep my attention."

He gives me a forced little smile, knowing that I need a distraction from my grounding.

"Gabs, Felix is calling your phone." Sydney points to the lit up screen of the iPhone lying on our table.

"Shit," I mutter beneath my breath.

"He still mad?"

Sydney laughs and peers to Jax. "Understatement. And it's about to be a hundred times worse because we didn't tell him that we got to leave."

I swipe my screen and hold the phone to my ear.  "Yes?"

"Where are you guys?"  His tone already tells me he's angry.  He has no right to be.

"Out."

"Clearly!"

"What do you want Felix?  We were only given a half hour and I'd actually like to enjoy it."

"You didn't think maybe you should wake me if we got to leave?"

Jax is reading my face carefully, but I'm not hiding the anger that is filling me right now.

"No Fee.  I didn't.  I deliberately left you there because for one, I was honest with dad with something and was given a small window of time to have a life.  I asked if I could take Syd with me because we both know her punishment was extreme.  Lastly, you told me to stay away from you.  So you can sit at home, away from me.  It is not my fault you are in trouble.  You were dumb enough to throw the party, that's on you.  I know what I'm in trouble for and I accept it."

Sydney's eyes are forming saucers, knowing that what I said likely is going to make Felix's attitude even worse.

"You've turned into a complete bitch Gabby.  You need a reality check.  By the way, you got a pretty big envelope from Northern Iowa today.  You can stay away from me while you're there too."

I swallow hard, unable to hide the frown occurring on my face.  "I was only going to UNI because of you anyways.  Throw it out."

And with that I end the call.

"Did you get in?!" Sydney asks excitedly.

I don't answer her.  Instead I look to Jax, who is spinning his glass of water on the table and focusing on it.  I never told him I had applied to school because we were never going to last that long. 

"Jax..."

His green eyes come to mine.  "You should go Gabby.  It's a great school.  The first year in the dorms is always the best.  UNI has an amazing library and you'll love going to games and shows at the UNI-Dome... they have great popcorn.  Plus you'll look hot in purple and gold."  He forces a smile, but I know it's for show.

"I'm not going..."

"Because of me." He nods and looks back at his water.  "This town has been terrible to you.  Your friends have been terrible to you.  Members of your family even have.  You and I both know you deserve better then Luxberg.  So you're staying because of me..."

"I'm staying because I want to.  I applied after the night at the lake with Tyler.  I knew I had messed up with Kane and that's where I thought my life was going.  I hoped I was going to end up with Kane and it no longer seemed possible.  I would have lived with Felix, it was just a way to escape.  I didn't even want to go."

"What were you planning on studying?"

I hesitate and he takes notice.

A sad laugh comes from his chest.  "Lit?"

I nod my head yes.  "Jax I swear, me not wanting to go has nothing to do with you.  Don't put that on yourself.  You can ask Syd..." I motion to my sister across the table.  "I had no intention of college.  I always intended to be a Luxberg-lifer."

"It's true.  Gabby isn't one for school." Sydney agrees.  "She doesn't like to read unless it's a novel."

Jax just nods but I know he's isn't convinced.  It was the truth.

A waitress appears at our table with a tray of sandwiches and fries, placing them in front of us.  "Anything else I can get you?"

Before I can even say a word Jax is on it.  "Kat, can she get ranch?  Just bring the whole bottle, she's about to drown her plate in it until it no longer looks edible."

"Sure thing Jax."  She steps away politely to retrieve my favorite condiment.

Sydney's smiles big and looks to me with approving eyes.  He knows my love of ranch.  Sydney loves it too.

I turn my focus to Jax, who still appears to be lost in his thoughts since the announcement that I had likely been accepted to college.  The college he loved, and to a program he loved even more.

My hand takes its place on his cheek, bringing his gaze to my own.  "I swear Jax, this is what I want.  I don't want to leave Luxberg, as shitty as this year has been.  This is home.  Please just forget it.  We only have ten more minutes together."

"Okay Books."  He dips his face to mine and pins our lips to a kiss. 

As good as this kiss feels, I also feel his reluctance.  I know this isn't the end of this discussion.  I felt that through everything thus far, this had been our most real conversation we had yet.  He appeared to be worried about the future.  My worry was that he was more focused on my future than our future.  Our discussion from the night of the party plays back in my head.  He feels like he will hold me back, that he can't give me the life I deserve.  There is a big difference between deserve and want.  I deserve the right to choose what I want.  I want him. 

The conversation was so heavy that I didn't even touch the popcorn in the center of the table.