Gabby.

Whispers. 

Today the whispers are about me.  I walk down the hallway of my school for the first time in two days.  I attempt to avoid everyone by keeping my head down, but I can hear them.  Words like my name, Tyler, lake, party, slut, drunk.  I know what they are talking about.  Anonymous is not a word that exists in a small town.  Secrets do not exist in a small town.

I walk straight to my locker.  The more I hear, the more the knot in my throat grows.  Amazing how I never used to cry, now it's daily.  When it starts I can't stop. 

"Tyler said she's lying because she didn't want Kane to know and she's mad that he told her..."

"I heard she wanted it but her dad found out, so she lied and said she was raped..."

"She's sleeping with Courtney's brother now... everyone saw them together at Mickey's..."

"I heard she slept with Kane too.  Siblings? Gross."

The tears begin streaming down my face. I grab my biology book as quickly as I can and practically run the hallway to my first class. 

Morgan and Cole are already paired and sitting at their table, per usual.  She still looks pissed at him. I'm sure they've heard it too.  I avoid eye contact and sit behind them, waiting for Courtney. 

Morgan swings around and her eyes meet mine.  The corners of her lips begin to droop.  "Gabs, is it true?"

I nod my head yes and wipe the tears from my face as I look away from her.

"Gabby, why didn't you say anything before?" she whispers.

"I didn't realize it until the assembly.  I thought maybe I drank more than I remembered.  I know I only made one drink that night.  One drink should not make someone pass out.  I would never sleep with him, he has always creeped me out... it's not as if that was a secret."

She nods her head and turns back around.  Cole says nothing, he hasn't even turned around to look at me.  I'm sure it's not something he feels comfortable talking about, he's my guy friend. 

I look up to the clock and see class is about to start, still no Courtney.  Then I hear the entire room go quiet.  I look to the door and Tyler walks in with Mike.  The knot in my throat grows and bile rises as he smiles.

Don't you dare.

He doesn't even hesitate.  He walks directly into the room towards me and sits beside me, slamming his books down so hard that I jump.   Tears instantly fall down my cheeks.

"Tyler, what are you doing?" Cole turns in his seat, looking amazed at the audacity of Tyler.  "Leave her alone."

I sit as far to my right as I can, pushing all my things over as I scan the room for a different seat. 

Tyler's eyes are fixed on the side of my head, but I refuse to look at him.

"Did you hear they won't be pressing charges, Gabby?  It seems you also have a big mouth with your lies.  You told everyone at Courtney's party the you were beginning to remember parts of that night, such as the size of my dick."

He lied. I didn't.  They seriously aren't pressing charges?!

"It was a joke!" My voice cracks with a sob. "I was trying to get you to back off by saying your dick was small.  I don't even remember seeing it!"

His creepy smile reappears.  "Good luck proving that.  I didn't rape you.  You wanted it."

I stare him in his dark blue eyes.  "No Tyler..." I shake my head.  "I really didn't."

For the first time I actually see him begin to squirm in his seat.  He looks uncomfortable. 

"I made sure to mention to Kane about how you 'fucked thug's brains out'... he's super happy with you too." He goes back to being an ass.

Morgan's head flies around and she stares at me.  Once again, I've been keeping things from her.  It wasn't as if it was on purpose.  Was there a rule somewhere that you had to call your best friend every time you had sex?  Because she's looking at me as if I broke this rule.  First off, it's my business.  Second, it just happened last night!  I should have never told Tyler.  I just wanted to piss him off.

"I'm sure the entire town has heard by now.  Not exactly coming off as an angel here, Gabby.  You liked Kane, slept with me, made out with Thug, went to prom with Kane and kissed him, slept with Thug..."

The entire class is staring at me, including my biology teacher.  As much as I hate the sound of her voice, I wish she would start teaching so that people would stop looking at me.

Way to go, Gabby.  Now the entire town knows your sex life. 

I look back to Tyler with pure disgust.  "You know what you did.  You know I didn't want it, you know I wasn't even with it enough to decide if I did or didn't.  That's on you, Tyler Porter.  I never wanted you and you took advantage of me."

I grab my books and walk out of my classroom.  I don't even stop at my locker. I leave through the front doors of my school, right past my mom's office.  Sydney has the house keys, but that's not where I wanted to go anyways.

I walk straight up the porch steps to the blue Victorian home and knock on the door. 

Jax opens the door and sighs when he sees my tears.

"Is Courtney home?  She wasn't in class."  I wipe my face again.  I was hoping she would have been the one to answer the door. 

"She went to see Mickey's daughter.  I guess she's a mess."

That's why I need her too...

I don't look at him.  I just nod my head.  "Okay.  Just tell her to call me if she isn't going tomorrow.  I can't be there without her."

I turn to leave and he grabs my arm, pulling me back into his chest, and wraps his arms around me.  My shoulder shake as I cry into him.

"They aren't pressing charges against him.  Everyone thinks I lied.  I didn't lie."

"I know you didn't, Gabby," he squeezes me tighter. 

"I think you and Courtney are the only ones who believe me," I cry harder.

"Come inside.  We will watch TV and get you calmed down.  You can't skip school though, Books. I told you the whispers don't stop.  Why do you think we moved?"

"I wish we could move," I laugh through my tears.  "I don't want to see these people again.  It's not just Tyler that grew up here.  Why do they believe him and not me?"

"I don't know," he rubs my back to comfort me.  "Come on, I guess we will have popcorn for breakfast."

I giggle and let go of him, following him into the house.  He walks straight to the kitchen and begins making us microwave popcorn. 

I really didn't come here for him today.  Courtney is the only person at school that I won't have to pretend in front of.  She's been through this.  I just need her to keep me sane.

I lean against the counter as the smell of butter fills the room. Jax stands beside me and I lie my head up against the muscles of his tattooed arm.

"Why aren't they pressing charges?"

"Because I'm a slut and I made a comment about his dick being small at Courtney's party.  It was a joke. I don't even remember his dick."

"How are you a slut?  Raped once and sleeping with me once does not make you a slut."

I shrug. Again, I didn't want to talk about this with him.  Courtney will understand.  I don't want to be gawked at because people know who I've slept with.

He turns and places his hands to the counter, locking me into place and pressing me against it, just like he did the first night I slept over. 

I can't even help but to smile at him as he grins down at me.  "I mean, I suppose we did have sex in the jail, Books..."

"That we did, Alfie."

He leans in and slowly kisses my lips.  My entire body tingles with the feel of his mouth on mine again.  I wrap my arms around him, bringing him down closer to me.  I'm not sure we could be closer without becoming one person.

"Gabby, I can't stop thinking about last night," his eyes search mine hoping for the same.

"Me either," I answer honestly and kiss him again.

Stop, Gabby.  Don't have sex.  Only one more.

"Jax," I pull away from him.  "I'm not ready to lose this."  I move myself away from his hold and walk to the other side of the kitchen as he stares down at the floor.

"I know," he sighs and looks up to me. 

"What happens when I hang out with Courtney and you are around? You just ignore me?"

"I told you I don't know, Gabby!"  He sounds frustrated.  He opens the microwave to pull out the popcorn and slams the door of it shut.

"I'm not trying to make you angry, Jax! I'm trying to understand this!" I yell.

"I know! I just... I didn't know we'd become friends!  I should have never started this with you."

I feel my body go limp with his words.  "So you regret it?"

He turns to me with wide eyes shaking his head.  "No, Books. I don't regret it. That's not what I meant.  I just don't want this to be weird. I promise you — I don't regret it."

I feel that I am the one getting angry now.  And here my dad thought he was the one with the anger problem.  I know my face is red. I consider him one of my best friends right now. Cole ignored me, Morgan looked mad at me today, Kane is... well his friendship is likely down the drain. Jax is seriously willing to ignore me after this? No more kisses, no more hand holding, no more late night phone calls? Not so much as a hello if I see him in town?  It just ends like it never happened? He never held me on the porch as I lost it? Never had sex? Never laughed together? Poof, done.

I want to understand his game, but I fear I never will. I know I won't. He won't let me hang around long enough to.

"Whatever, Jax" I roll my eyes and grab the bowl from him.  "Let's just watch our show."

I walk to his room and jump into his bed, setting the popcorn in front of me.  He quietly sits beside me and starts our show where we left off last night. 

He glances over to me and back to the TV.  "Are you going let me hold you, Books? Or are you going to bite my head off for putting my arm around you?"

"Try it and find out, Alfie." I glance to him and take a handful of popcorn.

He smirks at me, becoming the playful man that I've come to appreciate.  He reaches around me but picks me up by my hips, setting me between his legs, and wrapping his arms around me from behind. 

"I'm sorry I snapped at you, Books." He kisses my neck and sets his chin on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry too, Alfie."  I hold up a piece of popcorn and he bites it out of my hand, kissing me on the cheek as he chews as a thank you.

This is what I want with Jax more than anything.  I am comfortable with him.  I want days where if he knows I am sad he will try and make me feel better with popcorn.  I want days where even though we have snapped at each other, he will still want to hold me.  Today I have that.  What I can't figure out is that he seems to like it too, so why does he always end it?  How does he plan to act like this today and ignore that we had this the next?

My phone buzzes in my shorts. I reach behind me into my back pocket as Jax wiggles at the brush of my hand against him.

"Books..." he sighs as I grab the phone.

"Sorry," I respond, giggling at the torture that I didn't mean to inflict.  "Didn't mean to touch the goods."

He laughs and wraps his arms around me again once I have the phone in my hand.

Incoming Call:  Officer Brooks - Cell

"Fuck," I mutter. 

"Uh oh, someone's in trouble,"  he chuckles.

One guess.  Mom called him.

I swipe my screen.  "Dad..."

"Why aren't you at school?" My dad sounds pissed.  I figured this call was coming. My mom receives the class attendance and the first names she looks for are Sydney and Gabrielle Brooks.  We can't get away with anything.

"The town decided I'm a slutty liar and Tyler is the Luxberg golden-boy.  He sat next to me in class to make me cry, succeeding. So, I decided it was time to go."

"Gabby..." he sighs.  "You can't skip school. It's a small town, people will talk, it can't be helped. Ignore it."

Jax takes his fingers and pushes my hair away from my neck, slowly running them across my skin.  I smile at the chills it gives me.

"You sound like Jax," I roll my eyes and nudge him.

"Gabby, are you with Jackson?" He asks, anger returning to his tired voice.  I can picture him in my head, bright red, riding around in his patrol car, debating on turning around.

Jax's lips connect to my neck and I close my eyes.

"No, I'm not with him.  He told me that same thing yesterday before I made Tyler infertile."

I feel Jax's smile on my neck.  He continues the kisses with little nibbles of my skin.  My mouth falls open in response.

"Why don't I believe you?"

His hands lower and begin unbuckling my jeans.  "I want you, Books." Jax whispers into my ear and kisses it. "Now."

My body reacts to his words, I feel heat rise through my skin.  I know he senses my reaction because his kisses get needier on my flesh.

"I'm not with him," I breathe heavy into the phone.

"Then where are you?" he demands.

"Syd had the keys.  Went to the Parker's house to find Courtney but she wasn't home..."

"Gabby, she would be at school! So where are you?"

Jax slides his hand into my pants and begins rubbing me slowly.  I feel myself get wet at his touch.

"I feel how ready you are for me," Jax practically moans into my skin with his whispers. "So fucking wet, Books."

"I'm going to find Courtney.  She's meeting up with Mickey's daughter, Lily. She was upset and needed people to talk toooo-oh...." I can't help but to moan as he increases the pressure of his fingers.

"I talked to her this week, she was a wreck..." he agrees with me. I need to end this damn call.

"Yeah, Jax told me that Court went to talk to her. So, I thought it would be good to meet up with them."

"Ready?" Jax whispers.  This one word question alone has me aching to feel more of him. I nod my head yes.  His fingers slip into me and I take my free hand and grip his knee to control myself.

"Fine.  No more skipping.  Keep away from Jackson, Gabby.  Nothing has changed.  Off limits."

"Got it dad.  No Jax. I need to get off..."

My eyes fly open to what I just said out loud to my dad and Jax stops his movements to hold back his laugh.  His head drops to my shoulder and he presses his mouth against my back to muffle the sound.

"I'm getting another call from Court. So, I need to get off the call. I'll stay away from Jax," I repeat, more gracefully this time. As graceful as I can with Jax fingering me.

"I want you home before I get home at six.  No more skipping.  We will talk to your teachers about keeping Tyler away from you."

"Okay.  Talk to you tonight." I end the call quickly.

"Books, that was dirty." Jax laughs as his fingers begin again.

I turn my head around to meet the green eyes above me.

"Jax..."

"I can't stop thinking about you up against those bars, Gabby," he leans down and kisses my lips.

My breathing labors.  I want him back between my legs.  I push the thought of losing this to the back of my mind and then flip around so that I'm on my knees in front of him.  I pull my top off and throw it across the room as he tugs down my shorts, kissing his way down my stomach.

I grab his face between my hands as I hover over him and slam my lips down to his as he groans.

"Take off your pants, Alfie," I reach for them.

He wraps his legs around my thighs and rolls.  Suddenly, I'm on my back and Jax is straddling my thighs in a kneeling position.  He slides himself backwards, taking my shorts and thong with him.

I watch him closely as he pulls off his jeans and boxers.  He is so hard for me, just the thought that he reacts like that for me is hot and as me throbbing for the feel of that erection in me.

His eyes are burrowing into mine.  I begin rubbing myself while he waits, knowing he likes it.  He smiles at the little circles I'm making for him. 

"You know I love watching you do that," he smirks.

"I know," I smile back.  Slowly, I take the finger and slide it inside me, feeling just how wet I am for him.  My mouth drops open and I bring the finger back to my sweet spot and continue the circles.

His eyes are on fire with lust.  He crawls into the bed above me.  My body reacts and he isn't even touching me yet.  I begin to wiggle as my body aches for his. 

His head drops to mine, our noses touching as he positions himself.  His erection presses against my hand.  I lift my eyes to his again as he takes his hand and pushes the strand of hair in my face to behind my ear.  I watch him close.  His eyes shift from mine to my lips as his jaw clenches. 

It is taking everything in me right now to not tell him I'm in love with him.  Because right now, that is exactly what I feel.  I'm in love with the guy who doesn't look at me like I'm broken, the one who holds me as I cry, the guy who makes me laugh every night on the phone, the guy who lets down his wall around me, the one  who doesn't love me and thinks of me as a game.  I know I'm about to have my heart broken by him. I know if I said it that he wouldn't say it back.

His lips slowly part my own with a passionate kiss as he slides himself into me.  "Ohhh!" My head falls back and my chest lifts into the air as my body arches into him.  His hand moves to the back of my thigh and he wraps my leg around him. The bowl of popcorn beside us on the bed falls to the ground, spilling all over his floor.

My eyes return to his.  Instantly I realize that what we just started, is the end of us.  His facial expression mirrors my own. He almost looks... upset?

He leans in close, "I'll go slow, Gabby. I promise," he moans into my ear as he begins to thrust.

All I can do is nod yes to him.

I close my eyes and wrap my arms around his neck, taking his thrusts. This time he says nothing about keeping my eyes open. He presses himself against me and buries his face into my neck, kissing it with his heavy breathing.

The thrusts come slow and steady. My focus is drawn to his hand on my thigh that gives squeezes every time he pushes into me and drags across my skin whenever my leg moves. This hand is driving me crazy for him, because I love that he wants his hands on me at all times.

My eyes open and his are back to being on me.

"Fuck, Gabby..." he groans again.

I wrap my arms tighter around his neck, bringing him down for another kiss. It's slow. I take his bottom lip between my teeth, giving it a little tug, and his reaction is to deepen the kiss, causing me to feel it deep in chest.

The orgasm builds in my belly. I have never not wanted to have one so badly, which of course makes it seem to build quicker. He sees it in my eyes, his face again mirrors mine, he doesn't want to either.

"Jax," I moan his name to his swollen lips.

He grips my thigh tightly and rolls us so that I am back on top of him. He sits up so that we are face to face, grabbing my jaw gently with both hands and bringing me back into our kiss.

With this I know I can't take anymore. His forehead is pressed against mine, his hands move to my hips and it takes just one thrust into me to push that orgasm into motion.

"Oh yes!" I cry out to him. This is the best one yet. I feel it pulse through me, my sex clenches onto him and twitches with pleasure. My entire sweaty body shakes as I ride him