My apologies for the late update, caught up with festival things and few personal things.

I have rewritten this part for nearly 3 times and still am not satisfied. I will be making it more effective while editing. Not wanting to delay it anymore, I am publishing this part in haste and I promise this will edited with slight changes which don't loose the grip on the story.

Sensitive content ahead, self harming is highly unacceptable. It feels good to read in story but in real life, it sucks and pains like a bitch. So, kindly, do not take any such steps making the following content your inspiration.

Am warning again, do not take foolish steps reading the following content.

Unedited! Ignore the mistakes.
Longesssttt chapteeerrr ahead.
Enjoy reading!

Am I not looking beautiful to you?

Author's POV

Sitaara and Riaan stood in front of the gates. Seeing Sitaara watchman came running to her and opened the gates. It is a beautiful garden with Viraj's grave in mid of it. The place was bought by her and her friends to make his memory forever there. They both were walking to the grave gulping the lump that formed in their throat. Tears started flowing down her eyes.

At the end of the grave, she collapsed on the ground all of a sudden while Riaan stood there rooted.

"Raj" she screamed at top of her lungs crying. Riaan walked further and touched the grave and a lone tear escaped from his eye. He could hear his best friend painful cries. His heart is paining to see his Viru bhaiyya who used to make her smile, became reason for fading away happiness in her life, who never used to let her shed even a single tear, become the reason for the never-ending cries of her heart, who used to promise her every minute that he will make her life beautiful with his love, now, made her life a nightmare with his disappearance.

Riaan fell on his knees gulping the lump that formed in his throat. His eyes watered seeing the man who saved many lives, is dead now, was brutally murdered.

Riaan traced the photo and his name that was carved on the grave with his trembling fingers.

Viraj Sehgal

"He left me, Rio. He shattered our dreams, broke the promises he made. He lied to me that he will walk with me till eternity. He destroyed the hopes he built in me of our bright future. I loved him with all my heart. I was ready to sacrifice luxurious life only to drown myself in his love, I made myself ready to face the world which I never stepped into. I was ready to see his world, make his world mine but...but he left just like that" Cried Sitaara loudly.

"I don't know if I have to smile relishing the memories he gave or to cry for him being only part of them. I don't know if I have to shed tears because he is gone or because he never asked me to stay strong to survive in his absence. I don't know if I have to cry because I lost him or because I lost myself with him. I want him to look into my eyes, touch me, give that forehead assuring kiss, hear his voice calling me 'pumpkin'" cried Sitaara holding Riaan's hand.

They both cried for some time and sat in the car. Riaan was driving the car while Situ's mind drifted to her past.

Flashback

National sports day,

XXXX international school,

Sitaara was in 3rd grade and Viraj was in 6th grade

Sitaara was walking in mid of the ground with a water bottle dangling around her neck and she was munching chips. Her other four friends were walking behind her two on either side of her.

Viraj was a participant in a running competition. He held both his sister and brother's hands and was walking fast as they were running late for the competition. He made his sister and brother go to their classmates who assembled in audience seats. He was running to their PET sir where all other participants took their positions and he found a cute chubby girl with piggy tails moving to and fro, fair complexion, pink lips, big doelike eyes in her school uniform that reaching just below above her knees who happened to be Sitaara, on his way. Riaan and Vikram saw him running coming towards them at high speed and Sitaara was walking not caring anything eating her chips.

Viraj couldn't control his speed and Sitaara wasn't able to distract herself from eating. To not hurt her, Viraj diverted his way looking at Sitaara and he stepped onto a rock and fell right in front of Sitaara's legs.

Sitaara immediately bent to his level and lifted his face holding his hair. She saw blood from Viraj's nose and gasped. Opening the water bottle she poured it on Viraj's face and dabbed her kerchief on his nose. As her whole kerchief is filled with his blood, she emptied the chips packet on the ground and dabbed it on his nose.

"Is it paining?" She asked blowing air on hid wounds at elbows. Viraj shook his head.

"Isn't it paining?" She asked. He shook his head in no again. She grinned and slapped on his nose making Viraj yelp in pain.

"You told me it's not paining," said Sitaara dabbing over on his wounds again.

Meanwhile, Riaan and Vikram ran to PET sir to inform him About Viraj. He along with some other teachers came running to him and saw Sitaara dabbing his nose with a chips packet. They moved Sitaara away making her glare at them and they took Viraj with them.

"Situ, he fell because of you," said Riaan in low voice. She punched on his nose.

"How come am responsible for his falling you dumbo?" she shouted at Riaan and hit him on his head with a water bottle.

"Situ, you were busy eating chips and crossed his path, he diverted the way so that you don't fall, eventually he got hurt," said Riaan.

"Yes, Situ Rio is true," said Vikram. Sitaara looked down pouting.

"Okay then, I'll apologise to him," said Sitaara feeling guilty and they joined other students in audience seats. The sports day went well, Sitaara was cheering for Viraj in every game and he won many prizes despite his wounds.

He was going to his siblings someone pulled his shirt from the back. It's Sitaara. He turned towards her with an amused smile.

"Am sorry. Because of me, you got hurt. Please forgive me. I know you will forgive me for being beautiful. Don't be mad at me, I also know no one can be mad at me for a longer time for being beautiful. I can compensate for my mistake by giving you my favourite chocolate. You don't need to thank me, I have so many at home. Here take his chocolates and bandage for your wounds" she said giving a box. Viraj laughed at her.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked.

"Because you told, you are beautiful," he said. She puffed her cheeks angrily placing her hands on her waist.

"Why? Am I not looking beautiful to you? I know, am even pretty and cute. Okay, then I'll take pretty and cute as a compliment" said Sitaara smiling.

"No, you look like a pumpkin with chubby cheeks. Fatso!!" said Viraj and laughed at her. Sitaara turned to Riaan and punched him in the stomach.

"Ask this caveman to stop laughing or else I'll beat you," said Sitaara to Riaan.

"Brother, please stop laughing or else this girl will beat me till I bleed" pleaded Riaan to Viraj, making him stop his laugh.

"What's your name?" asked Viraj.

"The beautiful shining star Sitaara Dev Shetty," said Sitaara flipping her piggy tails. Viraj looked at her with an innocent smile. He was feeling happy to talk to her.

"I already told you, and you aren't beautiful-"

"Yes, I know am pretty and cute," said Sitaara cutting off him and grinned.

"You are a pumpkin Sitaara," he said flicking her nose with his finger.

"You are a caveman Viraj, "she said flicking back his nose jumping a little to reach his height and giggled

'You know my name?" asked Viraj.

"Yes, you earned many prizes and everyone in school know your name," she said smiling.

"Anyways I don't have time to talk with you, I need to go and beat someone. Accept these. Bye, Raj" she said putting chocolates and bandages in his hands & ran away with her friends.

"Bye Taara" he mumbled and laughed looking at her who is running by dragging Riaan with her forcefully. He instantly started crushing her while Sitaara enjoyed bickering with him.

Days passed, though they both never talked after that incident and Viraj used to admire her from far.

Viraj was 7th standard and Sitaara was 4th standard.

Viraj was playing football while Sitaara and her friends were playing on the ground after having lunch during their lunch break. Sitaara and Vikram went to get a few snacks from the canteen while Arjun went to fill water bottles and Aarya and Riaan were waiting for them on the ground.

One of Viraj's friends accidentally kicked the ball towards Aarya & Riaan. It directly hit Aarya's stomach making her groan in pain falling back. Riaan was about to punch the guy but the boy pushed him. Sitaara who witnessed this ran to the ball and punctured it with a sharp stone.

"Hey! You mad girl! What did you do?" shouted the boy. She threw the ball at his stomach laughing.

"It's punishment for hurting my friend with the ball," she said smirking and walked to him. Pulled him down to her level by his tie.

"And this punch is for pushing my other friend," said Sitaara and punched his nose. She clapped her hands like dusting them.

"Tit for tat'' she said and moved to her friends and Later they went away leaving everyone shocked except Viraj as he saw her fierce attitude and saw her beating her classmates.

One day, Viraj and his family went to the temple at the Dussehra festival. Since Sitaara's family is the trustee of the temple they too visited it. He saw sitaara wearing traditional attire, he realised that she is from a rich family looking at their dresses, cars and their aura around them which is screaming richness. Both the families went near goddess Durga ma idol and Situ saw Viraj and grinned.

"Hey!, caveman" she shouted leaving everyone surprised.

"Am not a caveman, you pumpkin" Viraj shouted back. She smirked crossing her hands over her chest.

"Yeah, I realised it you are not a caveman but an ape," she said.

"Then, you are... you are- "

'Beautiful, pretty and cute" she said cutting of him.

"Yes, you are those from the bottom list," said Viraj.

"I know you are jealous of my beauty but believe me, no one is gonna judge you if admit it, Caveman," said Sitaara and stuck out her tongue.

They both didn't observe the tension between both the families having in the air between them.Vidhya was avoiding Shetty's gaze with tears. Harshad, Viraj's father just smiled at them. But listening to the kids bickering Viraj's mom burst out laughing followed by everyone.

"You know that boy, Sitamma?" asked Dev.

"Yes, he also studies in some school of mine. I told right that a caveman got hurt because of me? He is the one" said Sitaara.

"You shouldn't call your elders like that," said her mother sternly. Sitaara nodded her head pouting.

"It's okay, Dev anna and Mridula Vadhina(sil)" said Vindhya.

"They are kids and it happens.Viru told about your daughter, Sir" said Harshad, Viraj's father. Shetty's smiled at them.

After the pooja, Situ ran to get prasad. She was about to eat but stopped as if she remembered something. She ran to the person who is offering prasad and snatched the can of prasad from him biting his hand when he didn't give her initially and ran outside the temple. There she saw beggars, she served them the prasad leaving a little behind in can. After that, she ran to her father and took out his wallet from his pocket. Fishing out a few currency notes, she ran back and donated money to beggars with a smile. They all blessed her. Shetty's chest swelled in pride looking at 10 years girl doing such things. Sehgal's who saw her little stunt, smile amusingly at her nature. Viraj, who is 13 years now, fell for her completely looking at her thoughtfulness.

Day rolled on, Viraj many times tried to propose to her but backed off when he saw Sitaara beating guys who proposed to her, not only that he even saw how her brothers made blood doze out of the guys face who just stared at situ and Sid even warned him with a punch not to follow Situ. But he was unaware of the fact that she used to reject every guy for him, because his pumpkin fell for her caveman.

Situ entered 7th standard and Viraj stepped into 10 grade. Though both of them didn't express that their love, they started dreaming about their life together. As they grew up, maturity in them kicked in.

Viraj was on the terrace at a corner sobbing loudly burying his face in his knees. Vindhya was searching for Viraj and found him at the terrace crying miserably.

"Viru" she called sitting beside him and placed her hand on his head.

"Maa.." sobbed Viraj loudly.

"What happened, Viru? Why are you crying?" Asked Vindhya.

"Sitaara... Sitaara..." he trailed off crying.

"Sitaara ko kya hua bacha?" Asked Vindhya cupping his cheeks.

"Nothing happened with her, Ma. She proposed to me. She said 'I love you' "cried Viraj. Vindhya chuckled.

"You are crying for that?" Asked Vindhya.

"No..." cried Viraj.

"Then, what happened Viraj?" Asked Vindhya.

"I love her. A lot. Like papa loves you" sobbed Viraj. Vindhya looked at him to continue.

"But, I don't want her ma. She is rich and we are below the middle class. Her family will turn like your family. They will hurt Ishaan and Samaira like your brother hurt Chachaji and buaji. They will kill you and papa like your family killed dadiji and dadaji. They will pull us on roads like your family made papa's whole family stand on roads penniless and homeless" cried Viraj not caring how much his words hurt Vindhya.

Vindhya is from one of the richest families in the country. She met Harshad, Viraj's father in Delhi when she went there for studies. They both fell in love, but both the families were against their love and marriage. Sehgal's were scared as they knew Vindhya's family's richness and what they can do to them if Harshad marry Vindhya while Vindhya's family was super-rich didn't want a middle-class SIL as they are very much money minded. They both eloped and got married and stayed in Mumbai starting their family. Vindhya's brother who was very much angry at his sister and mostly at Harshad, killed Harshad's parents, making whole Sehgal's come on to roads making their status come to poor from the middle class. Harshad's brothers and sisters cut their ties with Harshad and blamed Vindhya for their miseries. Vindhya's brother snatched away home and Harshad was a police officer but couldn't fight against Vindhya's brother and lost his post. Harshad shifted to Hyderabad when Viraj was born so that seeing his nephew her brother cools down but he asked Vindhya to come back along with Viraj leaving Harshad back but Vindhya denied flatly making him agitated. Without anyone's acknowledgement, her brother got a scholarship for Viraj, Ishaan and Samaira as they were good at studies thus they were placed in an international school. But Vindhya knew it's her brother who did this.

Now Viraj is under the same fear as Sitaara's family is rich and Sid's warning is making him scare more.

"Viru, mama is not bad beta. He is very good. You know, he came to the hospital when you were born and cried holding you. He is just angry at me" said Vindhya defending her brother.

"If he is good, he wouldn't kill my dadu and dadi. He wouldn't make chachu and bua cut their ties with papa. He wouldn't make whole Sehgal's lives miserable. He is bad, very bad. Vandith(Viraj's cousin) told me about your brother when we went to Punjab recently to meet them. Your brother is a monster and so is Sitaara's brother, Siddhanth. He will also do the same with me if I love Sitaara. He will take away Ishaan and Samaira from me, will kill papa and you. Rich people are bad. Your father. Your brother. Sitaara's father and her brothers" cried Viraj.

"Rich people are not bad. Greedy people are bad. People who differentiate others calculating based on some stupid factors are bad. Don't say anything to my father and brother, Viru. Please" cried Vindhya. Viraj turned away crying.

"I will Ma. I hate them" cried Viraj.

"Let's go back to Mumbai. I don't want to lose you people to get Sitaara. I was so wrong to develop these feelings at this age but you know ma, I can bury them in me. She will also forget this and will understand that she is too early to get into these feelings" said Viraj.

"Your story is the same as mine, Viru. Your father too ran away just like you want now. But then he was 23 and you are 15. We will be going back to Mumbai however, just make Sitaara understand she is young. Okay?" Asked Vindhya. Viraj nodded.

*
Viraj was on a basketball court waiting for Sitaara. She came after making him wait for her for almost 15 minutes. She smiled at him brightly waving her hand.

"Hi Raj," she said sitting beside him with a shy smile.

"Hello Taara," said Viraj, emotionless.

"So, will you be my boyfriend?" She asked.

"You are still 12, Sitaara. Stop speaking rubbish. You should concentrate on your studies" said Viraj harshly.

"Come to point directly, Raj," she said in a clipped tone. He nodded and narrated his parent's story.

"That's why I don't love you-"

"Say that you don't dare to stand strong for your love. When you were following me like a creep didn't you remember your parent's story? You know what, I don't want to force you. May be am still 12 years old but I do know what self-respect is! I don't let it down for a guy who has no guts and I won't be running behind you begging for love. I will keep my feelings within myself. One last time, Raj. I love you" saying this she ran away crying.

Viraj looked at her back crying. Sid came from behind and kicked Viraj.

"Have done what is good for you kiddo! You know what, you have guessed the right thing what happens if you are behind my sister. Yes! The same happens as it happened with your parents, maybe much more worst" said Sid punching Viraj. Viraj smirked.

"Am not going away leave her. I am maybe poor but am rich in having the courage to fight anything and will rip off this narrow-minded thought from your shitty brain. I will come back again. For sure. Promise" said Viraj smirking and went away.

That one year passed away with difficulty avoiding each other and Viraj's family shifted to Mumbai forever. Sitaara was no longer that bubbly girl but a girl who didn't fail to cheer up her surroundings. The five friends studied hard without any distractions and like a miracle, they aced JEE-advanced and was placed in IIT Bombay although different branches. Then they started staying in hostel.