Harlee

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"Harlee, there you are! Come on upstairs; you're right on time! I need your help right now!" Farrah greeted me as I stepped into her grand foyer.

It had been a few days since James had agreed to try reconciling our friendship. But I was still walking on air about it.

Farrah had wanted me to come over and help her choose her outfit (along with the rest of her look) for Evan's birthday party. The party had been moved from last Saturday to the coming Thursday instead. Due to that, James and I also postponed our early birthweek celebration; I didn't want anything getting in the way of our week together. I wanted everything to go as planned.

I agreed to come help Farrah because (although I hated the idea of getting all worried about impressing a boy), I kind of wanted some answers from her about the Rachel situation. So early that morning, I woke up, got dressed, grabbed a breakfast bar, then headed over to the Harringtons'.

"Hyland and I were just talking about how we think you should dress up for the party," she told me as we walked up the staircase, "I know you're still upset about James. But it could be fun if you got all dressed up. Besides, now that he and Hyland are dating, he'll be-"

I almost tripped at what I thought I'd heard her say.

I blinked my eyes a few times to make sure I wasn't half asleep.

Farrah grabbed my arm to help me regain my balance.

"What did you just say?" I asked her.

"That you should dress up for the party," Farrah said.

"After that."

"Oh, that James and Hyland started dating last Friday," she said. "So, he'll be focused on her anyway. So, you should focus on..." Farrah's voice trailed off as she looked at me with concerned eyes.

"That's...what I thought you said," I muttered, taking a seat on the step. I felt so unsteady after what she'd told me, I feared if I didn't sit down, I'd fall down the flight of stairs.

Farrah seemed confused by my behavior and took a seat beside me.

"Um, Harlee, are you okay?" she asked.

I honestly didn't know how to answer that.

Because my behavior concerning this was confusing me as well.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking," I replied.

"About what?" she persisted.

I knew I needed to compose myself. If I didn't soon, Farrah would start thinking I was jealous of Hyland and James being together. I did feel pretty left out and in the dark, especially because I'd asked James what he'd done on Friday, and he'd never mentioned that.

I guess I also felt kind of betrayed.

James and I always joked about how dating really young was so "pointless" and "a recipe for disaster."

We weren't even thirteen yet, and he had a girlfriend now?

I quickly stood to my feet and tried to think of some kind of excuse for my reaction. None came to mind, so I simply told her,

"It's just weird how fast life changes is all."

Farrah nodded sympathetically, then gently took my arm. We headed up the stairs, and I talked to her like normal. Like I wasn't internally drowning in sadness, confusion, and hurt. We walked into Farrah's bedroom, and Hyland greeted me.

"Hey, Harlee! We've been waiting for you! Farrah and I have decided we're forcing you to dress up for Evan's party, so get ready to have your makeup done," she giggled, waving a mascara wand through the air like it was a weapon.

I put on my best fake smile and greeted her back.

But honestly?

I wanted to rip her curls out.

Best friend thief, I thought angrily.

I knew my anger towards her wasn't very fair of me, but right then, I didn't care. I sat down on the bed as Farrah walked over towards her closet and started pulling out the different dresses she wanted me to help her pick from. Why she needed my fashion advice when she had Hyland and Amy as style consultants, I didn't know. I also wondered why Farrah hadn't invited Amy over. Not that I missed her presence or anything, but I was confused as to why she wasn't there.

I supposed Farrah probably just didn't feel like dealing with the fact Amy would have an attitude that both Hyland and I were at her best friend's house.

"So," Farrah said, dropping the pile of dresses in front of me. "We have this silver, sparkling one, the white ruffled one, and a layered pink skirt that goes with this green tank top." She held each outfit up as she named it off. "The thing is, I kind of want to wear the sparkling one, so I'll look like a movie star to Evan. But I also want to wear the white one, so he can picture me as his bride. But if I wear this green and pink one, then he'll know what I would look like if I were a mermaid."

I stared at her, trying not to crack a smile at her insanity.

The girl was more than just crushing on Evan.

She was obsessed.

"I voted that she should go with the white one. White really brings out her eyes more than any other color," Hyland informed me.

I nodded my head and tried not to roll my eyes at Hyland.

Her very existence in the room was annoying me right then.

"Aww thanks, Hyland you're the sweetest, but that's easy for you to say. You look perfect in every color," Farrah said back.

"Aww, Farrah." Hyland put a hand to her heart.

I held back a disgusted gag.

Don't compliment that traitor, Farrah, I said in my head.

"I vote for the pink and green," was all my voice said.

"You already wore sparkles to the last party, and mermaids are way cooler than brides anyway," I added.

In reality, I had no opinion on any of the outfits.

I just wanted to vote against Hyland.

"Oh my gosh! Guess who just texted me, Farrah?" Hyland squealed.

I saw Farrah give me a concerned look before asking her, "Who?"

"James! He said he wants me to come to Evan's party with him!" Hyland exclaimed.

"That's fantastic!" Farrah congratulated, with more enthusiasm than I felt was necessary.

Then Hyland started debating what SHE should wear to the party, and I wanted to disappear from the scene entirely. I tried not to feel too left out as Hyland gushed to Farrah about how much she liked James.

After all, why should I be jealous of Hyland's time with James?

I am his best friend, not his girlfriend.

Him dating isn't my problem, nor should it be my concern.

These thoughts were intended to calm me down but only made me feel angrier. I glanced down at the satin bed sheet I was nearly ripping apart with my fingers from fury.

I set it down back on the bed gently, hoping Farrah wouldn't notice.

I really need to stop taking my anger out on innocent material things, I thought to myself.

Luckily, for the rest of Farrah's bedspread and my sanity, Hyland left shortly after that. She had a dentist appointment to go to, so her mom came and picked her up. Once again, I felt envious of her, but this time it was because she got to escape all the boring fashion talk. Meanwhile, I was still in Farrah-land.

"The thing is if I wear pink eyeshadow and a white dress, I'll look like a kid playing in my mother's makeup," Farrah complained, tossing her eyeshadow brush down. She had been sitting down at the vanity for what felt like forever going through different makeup looks trying to find the right one.

Honestly, I couldn't tell the difference.

All makeup looks pretty much looked the same to me.

"Huh? Oh yeah, that sounds great, Farrah," I said, not really paying her the slightest bit of attention.

Farrah noticed this and rolled her eyes at me.

"You aren't even listening to me, as usual," she said, pouting.

I sighed and sat up from my spot on her bed.

"Sorry, you're right. I wasn't listening. I have other things on my mind," I told her truthfully.

The pity eyes returned.

"Things like James?" she asked in a knowing tone of voice.

Not wanting to discuss him again, I decided to get the answers I came for about her and Rachel. I was quite curious about her side of the story concerning the matter, so I went ahead and asked about it.

"No." I shook my head.

"Things like Rachel Krenshaw. What happened between you and her?"

Farrah went silent at the mention of her name. She dragged her finger through a trail of foundation that had spilled on the vanity dresser. After a few seconds, she asked,

"What did Rachel tell you happened between us?"

"She said the two of you used to be friends when your mom volunteered at the homeless shelter she was living in. She said you were the person that made staying in that place tolerable," I told her.

Farrah smiled a bit at the compliment.

The look in her eyes resembled the one James had when he'd looked at my list the other day. It was a look of overwhelming nostalgia mixed with a bit of regret.

I continued,

"She also said that you were only willing to be her friend within those walls. She said once you guys were in school, you acted like you hated her, and eventually, she got fed up with it and told you off. Then you never spoke to her again after that incident."

Farrah's nostalgic smile disappeared.

"What?!" She exploded out of her seat.

"Is that what she said?? Did she even bother to explain how she never wanted to be around me at school because I had more than her?? I'd invite her to parties of mine, and just because I offered for her to dress up in some of my clothing, she'd take offense! Like that meant I thought I was better than her! How dare she! She'd always make me feel guilty about things I could afford, and she couldn't! All I ever tried to do was protect her!" She folded her arms furiously.

As Farrah was fuming, I realized I'd been right not to judge her. She did have a side of the story too. The anger she was expressing seemed to be rooted in hurt. Her blue orbs confirmed this for me when I noticed them sparkling with a few tears.

I got off the bed and went to try and give her some comfort.

"We don't have to talk about it anymore, Farrah," I told her as I sat down on the ottoman beside her mirror.

"No, it's okay. I'm fine," she said softly.

"Anyway, after she accused me of being stuck up, I just gave up on it. I was so over trying to be friends with someone that clearly didn't appreciate me."

I related to that last part a lot. Because that was exactly how I'd been beginning to feel about James and me.

So now I was even more torn. I could understand Farrah's point of view, and I could understand Rachel's as well.

"I do regret the way I treated her at times," she confessed.

"But she wasn't always the best friend to me either. Just like she didn't choose to be in her position, I didn't choose to be in mine. But I have never once thought that it made me better than anyone else. Especially not Rachel...She was one of my best friends."

Sighing, I tried to think of the right words to comfort her, but I was emotionally exhausted. So much drama, so much change, so much happening, and summer had only just started. I hoped things would soon calm down enough for us all to enjoy our vacation while it was here.

And I also hoped neither Farrah nor Rachel would try to force me to choose between the two of them.