Harlee

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Shortly after James left, Rachel called.

We hadn't hung out the past week, because she understood my wanting to spend the entire week with James. We'd texted and called several times throughout that week, though, because I'd been giving her updates on how things were going between James and me.

So inevitably, when she called that morning, I spilled what happened over the phone to her. Out of concern for me, she had her parents drive her over.

We were sitting on my bed eating fruit snacks with Starstreamflix on, but we weren't paying it any attention.

I'd told my mom to cancel the trip to the water park.

I felt bad for bailing on her after she'd gone out of her way to try and take me. But the idea of going to the water park after such a terrible morning made me feel sick inside.

"I can't believe he'd just end your friendship like that," Rachel said.

"Again," I added, considering this wasn't the first time he'd put me through this.

"Do you think it's over for good this time?" she asked me.

I nodded my head dismally.

"I do; I went out of my way to fix things, and...now, I finally realize he doesn't want to fix them."

"I'm really sorry, Harlee." She hugged me.

I hugged her back, trying my hardest not to cry anymore.

I'd been crying all morning because of stupid James and felt he didn't deserve any more of my tears.

"He really meant a lot to you. I can tell. I wish there were something I could do," she said.

I shrugged helplessly and stared into space.

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. James was just...my best friend that I'd go to the ends of the earth for, and he just tosses me aside like I'm worthless to him..." My voice threatened to break again, so I stopped there. The more I talked about it, the more likely it was that the tears would return.

I looked at Rachel and noticed she was studying me as if she was realizing something.

"From what I've observed, you guys seemed like more than just best friends," she said.

"What do you mean?" I asked, hoping she wasn't jumping on the Jarlee ship train.

"I just mean you guys seemed super close," she said quickly.

I nodded in agreement. "We were. I thought we told each other everything. And I thought James wanted to fix things between us, but I guess not. I guess he was just good at pretending like he did." I sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day.

"Like Evan pretended to like me," she said then sighed too.

Remembering what James had confessed to me about Evan's true feelings concerning her, I felt conflicted with myself.

Part of me wanted to tell her all about it just to spite James.

But then another part of me felt I'd be punishing Evan more than James by doing that.

"I know it's not the same thing, and I probably should not compare the two," she said. "I just understand how you can get your hopes up about someone only to find out they don't care for you as much as you care for them...but then again, you and James have known one another for years. I only just met Evan. I can also relate because of what happened between Farrah and me. But we still weren't friends as long as you and James were..." She lowered her eyes sheepishly. "Sorry, this is not about me."

"No, you're fine," I told her. "You can talk to me just like I can talk to you."

"Thanks, I just really liked him, you know? Farrah already has everything, so for her to have him now too." She sighed again, sounding more broken than jealous.

I could imagine how that must have been hard for her. Farrah already had so much; Rachel deserved to have something after all.

"What made you like him so much?" I asked her, eating a few fruit snacks from the bowl.

"He's special," she grinned.

"And I've never seen a boy look at me the way he does. From the moment we met, he just seemed like he wanted to know me. Then when we were talking at Sandy's Candy, he was so sweet to me. He sure talks a lot, but I kind of like being around people that bring me out of my shell, you know? I guess I just got so excited that we were talking I fooled myself into thinking he truly did like me." Yet another sigh followed her last statement, and this time she sounded even more devastated than before.

I felt bad.

She deserved to know he did like her.

She deserved to know the truth.

But it isn't your secret to tell, my inner voice said.

"He does like you, Rachel," I blurted out, ignoring my conscience.

Oh well, sorry, Evan; this is probably as close to revenge on James as I will get.

"James told me so," I continued. "Evan pretty much thinks he's in love with you."

Rachel's mouth was gaping at me.

You'd think someone had told her that her family had won the lottery.

She started bouncing up and down on the bed, causing our bowl of fruit snacks to shake. I reached my hand out to steady it.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed.

I giggled at her excitement.

This was the happiest I'd ever seen her.

"I can't even right now! I can't believe he actually likes me," she raved excitedly.

"Believe it. You're a great person, Rachel," I smiled.

Rachel smiled back with gratitude, but then her smile faded.

"What about Farrah?" she asked, frowning. "Why would he kiss her if he doesn't like her?"

"Rachel, did you forget Evan didn't kiss Farrah? It was vice versa," I reminded her.

She nodded a second; then, she frowned again. "But he hugged her for the leather jacket," she said.

"Come on, Rachel, so what? How much more reassurance do you need?

You're the one he said he likes," I told her. "I think you should call him up and ask him to hang out with you sometime." I pointed towards her phone.

Rachel was reluctant.

"I can't do that." She shook her head whilst eyeing her phone like she wanted to.

"But you want to," I sing-songed.

She shook her head faster at me. "No, no, I can't. I-I don't even have his number."

I rolled my eyes at the lame excuse.

"Do you want to hang out with him, Rachel? And get to know him better?"

Rachel nodded right away.

"So, call him. You don't have to confess feelings or anything, but you guys can at least hang out as friends," I told her.

"But what if he friend-zones me then?' she asked.

"You'll never have any answers if you don't try," I pointed out.

Rachel reached for her phone then dropped it back onto the bed. She shook her head at me again.

"I can't. We've only talked a few times. He'll think I'm like stalking him."

At that, I rolled my eyes again. If she wasn't going to make the call, then I would. If I wasn't going to find happiness this summer, at least Evan and Rachel should.

I figured they could at least hang out and get to know one another better since they liked each other so much. They didn't have to make anything official or confess anything for that.

My eyes were still damp from all the crying I'd been doing, but I wiped them and cleared my throat then grabbed my phone off the bed.

"Uh, Harlee, what are you doing?" Rachel asked warily.

I got off the bed and clicked on Evan's number on my phone. The mischievous smile I gave her as I did seemed to make her more anxious.

"Harlee, what are you doing?" she asked again, following me off the bed.

"Something you'll thank me for later," I replied simply with a shrug.

"No, Harlee. Do not call Evan. Do not call Evan-"

Right then, Evan picked up.

"Hi, Evan!" I greeted him, causing Rachel to go silent.

"Hey," he said. "What's up?"

"Nothing much. I'm just at home with Rachel, and we're-"

"Rachel?" he interrupted. "Rachel is at your house?"

"Yup, she's here, and I wanted to ask you something about her," I said back.

Rachel's eyes widened at my audacity.

"Yeah?" he said.

"So, I have a source that tells me you'd like to be..." I tried to choose my words carefully, not wanting to embarrass Evan or Rachel.

"Better friends with Rachel. Is that true?" I asked him.

"Um, why are you asking me that?" Evan said, sounding a bit agitated.

I could tell he already knew who my "source" was by his tone of voice.

"Because I happen to know she'd like to be better friends with you too," I replied simply.

"Harlee!" Rachel whisper-shouted.

I ignored her. In hindsight, my behavior was a little reckless and kind of rude, but my intentions were good, regardless.

"Oh, just friends?" he said, seeming disappointed.

I wasn't sure what to say to that.

I knew Rachel and Evan liked each other, but my feelings about dating when we were all so young hadn't changed.

Can't we all just be kids for a little longer? I wondered to myself.

I resolved that wasn't my decision to make and just said, "Why do you ask that?" to Evan.

Evan was speechless for a moment.

Rachel stared at me in paranoia, but she also looked kind of relieved. Probably at the fact, I was holding the phone and doing all the talking and not her.

"I don't know what to say," Evan finally spoke. "I mean I like her and all, but-"

"What did you just say?" I asked him. I couldn't help but smile for Rachel at his admission. I still didn't think they should date yet, but knowing he liked her back for sure made me happy for her.

"I -I-" he stammered. "I said, I like her," he said again. "Because I do a lot. She's nice, and she's gentle...and...and very pretty too."

I covered my mouth, gasping out of happiness for Rachel.

James had been right; the boy was smitten.

"What? What? What?" she whisper-shouted, clapping her hands together excitedly.

I mouthed, "He loves you" to Rachel while making an overly exaggerated love-struck face.

Rachel giggled then covered her mouth with both of her hands.

"Is she still there, Harlee?" he asked me. "If she is, could you maybe tell her that I think it's nice she wants to know me better and that..." He drifted off momentarily, then he finished with, "Tell her I really like her a lot."

I raised my eyebrows, surprised by Evan's boldness. I had hardly given him any information on how Rachel felt about him, yet he'd admitted all that and said I could tell her he liked her. I supposed telling someone else to talk to your crush for you made things a lot easier.

But I felt Evan needed to tell her himself or vice versa. So instead of repeating it to her, I said to him,

"Tell her yourself," then held out my phone to Rachel.

"Wait, what?" we heard him say through the phone.

Rachel's eyes danced with excitement upon hearing his voice, but she was staring down at the phone like it was a grenade that could go off any moment. Then she started freaking out again.

"What am I supposed to say?" she whispered to me.

"Say, hi," I whispered back.

"I need more than that!" she whispered urgently.

"Hello? Harlee? Rachel?" Evan asked through the phone, his voice faint.

Neither of us answered him.

"You just need to be yourself," I said softly.

"But I-" she started.

At that point, Evan must have heard her, because he asked,

"Rachel, is that you? Did you just say hi?"

Rachel looked down at the phone, cautiously again.

I quickly put speakerphone on since she wouldn't take it from me.

"Look, I know you're shy. But um-" Evan said, his voice now more audible. "I just wanted to say I think you're a sweet person and have a nice personality.

A moon-eyed Rachel beamed at the compliments, and I smiled for her.

"And I think you're very pretty too," he confessed.

"And I'm not just saying that because you called me cute at my party," he added quickly. "I already thought you were cute by then too."

At that, Rachel finally took the phone from my hands and held it up to her mouth. "Hi, Evan," she said.

"Hey!" he greeted enthusiastically, causing Rachel to jump and nearly drop the phone. She giggled at her own shock.

"How are you doing?" he asked.

"Fine," she replied. "Thanks for all the stuff you said. It means a lot,"

"You're welcome."

"I think that you're sweet too, Evan. And you're very smart and funny."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"Thanks!"

After that, neither of them said anything for a few seconds.

I supposed they were both a bit overwhelmed with flattery.

Evan broke the silence after a moment and asked, "Um, what do you like to do for fun?"

I sat down on my bed as they continued chatting. They discussed quite a few topics during their conversation. Rachel was mostly listening as Evan did most of the talking, but that was to be expected.

I laid back, feeling glad for both of my friends.

It felt good to make others happy even if I couldn't be.

My mind wandered to the reason for my unhappiness, but I refused to let it stay there. I'd done all I could for James' and my friendship, and I needed to let go already. It was time to find my own happiness and stop worrying about him.

"Okay, see you then. I can't wait," I heard Rachel say before she hung up the phone. Her joyful squeal filled the room once the call ended.

"Did you hear that? Did you hear that?" she asked me as she jumped up and down.

"Uh, the start of it," I smiled, sitting up. "But at some point, I stopped listening, what did I miss?"

"He asked for my phone number!" she told me. "He's going to call me tonight, and he wants to meet me at the Dairy Jester on Wednesday! Evan wants to hang out with me!"

"That's so great, Rachel!" I said to her, trying not to feel sick at the mention of the Dairy Jester.

James and I had just been there last night having so much fun like we used to, and not even twenty-four hours later, things were broken between us again.

I hoped Rachel wouldn't want me to tag along for their date.

I didn't know if I could ever go there again now.

She pulled me to my feet then wrapped me in a hug.

"Thanks so much, Harlee! Even though you totally meddled, I'm glad you did." She paused for a second and then faced me. "James doesn't know what he's missing out on. You're seriously a good friend."

"Thanks, Rachel; it means a lot," I told her.

"Are you okay?" she asked, eyes becoming fretful.

"I hope I didn't make this entire morning about me. Oh gosh, I came over here to be here for you, and I have made everything about me. I'm so sor-"

"No, this happening made my day better," I said quickly.

"I love seeing my friends happy. Plus, it has taken my mind off of it somewhat."

Rachel nodded but still seemed concerned.

"Um, you don't need me to come to the Dairy Jester with you, though, right?" I asked her.

"I normally wouldn't mind, but James and I were there last night and if I go there...or almost anywhere in town, 'cause honestly, we've been so many places together, but especially there, it'll be hard for me. I said.

"I think I'll be okay, and even if I wouldn't, I'd never do that to you," she assured me as we sat back down on my bed. "I am not sure what I'll wear, though," she wondered aloud. "If Farrah and I were still friends, I'd borrow something of hers, but..." her voice trailed off.

Rachel and I looked at each other with guilt in our eyes as we both realized the same thing.

Farrah, I thought worriedly.

How is she going to react to all this?

"Oh God, now she's really gonna hate me," Rachel sighed, lowering her eyes.

"I can't believe we forgot about her," I said, running a hand through my hair.

"Should I just call him and cancel the date?" she asked.

That didn't seem fair to Rachel, so I shook my head at her.

"No, Evan made it clear they aren't dating. So, it isn't like you are wronging her."

"I still feel bad, though," she said.

"I do too, but Evan can't make himself like her, and she has to realize he doesn't at some point," I reassured her then stood to my feet.

"Come on; you can look through my closet and see if there is anything you like, okay?" Rachel nodded, but her dark irises still held regret.

I understood because the same emotion was affecting me. But it was the truth, even if it was a hard pill to swallow. Evan genuinely didn't like Farrah, and he genuinely did like Rachel. There was nothing Rachel, Farrah, nor I could do to change that. After all that had happened, I was done spending my summer stressing over things that I couldn't change.

As Rachel and I searched my closet trying to figure out what she would wear for Wednesday, I thought about what she'd said about James "missing out." It hit me Jasper had said something similar at Farrah's party about James not appreciating me.

Back then, the remark had baffled me.

But now, after seeing who James truly was, and how little he actually cared, I realized both Rachel and Jasper were right. I'd gone so far to reconcile something that he was willing to simply give up on.

The care I had for him wasn't reciprocated.

It was time for me to stop caring and stop crying.

It wasn't like he was at home crying about me.

He was probably just going about his daily plans.

And I should go about mine, I thought, nodding.

So I turned to Rachel as she held a blouse up to her chest and asked,

"Hey, Rachel, want to come to the water park with me?"