2: Halime

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An empire cannot be ruled by anger and pride; if you must, take a few steps back in order to see the faces of your real enemies. A sultan who can’t bear defeat will never be successful.

Manisa, 26th January 1513

"Halime Hatun, prepare yourself, tonight you will go to havlet to prince Suleiman," Sumbul said to me while I was on one of my education classes in harem and everyone looked at me with a surprise. For last two months Suleiman haven't called for anyone because he wanted to be with his consort Safiye Hatun, who I didn't even see anytime, after she gave birth to his first two children.

"But how?" I asked as I didn't know what has happened that they have chose me because since I came here I had no will to even live and not even to be with a prince and involve myself into all the problems that royal life would give me.

"Ayse Hafsa Sultan ordered that, she saw you in harem and she liked you, you don't need to know more," he said and took me with himself where Daye Hatun and other maids waited for me and took me into the hammam with them.

All the maids in the harem looked at me in the weird way since they have found out about that and I knew this was something all of them wished for, but I for sure didn't wish something like this not even now because I knew I will bring their hate on me since they have been waiting here for several months to visit the prince and I came here and they have chosen me.

I was washing myself in hammam until the woman with blonde hair entered and they all bowed to her. I just kept washing my hair and not doing anything because I didn't know who this woman was.

"So you are going tonight to visit prince Suleiman?" She raised her eyebrows as she came in front of me and sat on the corner of the hammam. Two girls followed her and I still had no idea who she is.

"Yes," I said and continued to wash myself not caring for her but I could see her reaction changed very soon.

"How do you dare not to bow to me when I enter here? Do you know who I am?" She yelled on me and I could see Daye looked at me with a look which said you've made a mistake by not bowing to her.

"I don't," I quickly replied because she was so annoyed and angry and I knew my calmness will annoy her even more.

"I am Safiye, first and only consort of prince Suleiman and mother of prince Yahya and Fahriye Sultan, you will bow to me because you have to respect me," she yelled once again and Daye went closer to her hoping she would calm her down, but nothing helped.

I smiled with a smirk on my face and bowed to her but still laughing in her face which annoyed her so much.

"How you dare to act like this?" She started yelling at me and at that moment she raised her hand being ready to slap my face, but I was more quickly and grabbed her hand.

"What do you want from me to do? Not to go to the prince? Will you slap me just because I am sent to him and I have no right to even decline that," I said seriously still strongly holding her hand so she won't be able to slap me and I would never allow her to do something like this to me.

"If you go to Suleiman tonight, I will make sure you don't survive tomorrow," she said seriously before she left the hammam but I didn't take her words seriously. Daye Hatun followed her with her maids and only Nigar Kalfa stayed here with me in hammam and I barely knew her.

"If you don't want this to happen again, then you have a chance to be at her place," she said but I just laughed at her words because being like her is not something I wished for.

"Being at her place and being desperate because I can't visit prince again and I have to see him with other woman? I wouldn't want that," I said as I was ready with hammam and decided to leave, but Nigar held my hand stopping me from leaving.

"Not like that, but look, she has a son. One day she might be Valide Sultan and have all the power of this world in her hands. You have two options, make prince fall in love with you and he will gift you the world, or not to be liked by him and then they will marry you off to some old man? Decision is yours," she said and I left, but her words really made me think about all of this situation. I hated this harem and the way it's organised, I hated the way we are all slaves of one man who can decide when he wants to sleep with one of us and in the other time we have to serve his family. I lived my peaceful life before I was kidnapped and brought here where I lost all will for life since in front of my eyes I saw murder of my parents and there brothers, I knew even if I leave from here I would have no one to go to, so Nigar's plan didn't sound bad to me.

They dressed me up in very dark blue dress which I chose from the all bright colours which were offered to me, I chose the darkest one I saw because this one was exactly how I felt and which resembled my personality. Even since young age I said what was on my mind and I wasn't afraid of anyone. Whenever I would wish for something I would give everything for that to happen and nothing could stop me from that.

"Decision is yours, make sure to act the way you wish your fate to be," Nigar whispered in my ear before I entered Suleiman's chambers and walking to him not even looking at him. I bowed down and kissed his kaftan and I hated myself for bowing down to someone as I never ever would do this, but he really quickly lifted up my chin and our eyes met really quickly.

I met his eyes and he was nothing like I expected but still I haven't seen in him anything beside being the one who would decide my fate.

"In my life in this palace I have never seen a woman so indifferent," he said and made me laugh for actually even on the first thing he spoke out to me.

"I have to be indifferent here, because even this meeting has brought me death threats," I said and I knew he exactly knew what I mean because for sure he has heard what Safiye has done.

"That is something that shouldn't worry you," he placed his hand on my cheek trying to sound more sensitive but in front of him I didn't feel anything.

"And that doesn't worry me, no one can do something bad to me, because I won't allow them," I said still being indifferent to him which made him focus more on me.

He placed his another hand on my back and raised my face so our eyes would meet each other again. Every woman in my place would tremble and dream of this moment but I was so indifferent it would be the same to me if he would be with me or send me away.

I woked up laying down in Suleiman's chambers next morning when I saw the breakfast is being served. I woke up before him and walked a bit around the chambers when I saw a beautiful ruby necklace.

"Do you like it?" He asked me as he has woken up from bed.

"I do, ruby is the most beautiful diamond to me," I said and returned the necklace on its place. I knew he is doing all of those things himself and he gifted it to him very dear people like mother, sisters or even Safiye.

"It should have been a gift for Safiye, but she has disappointed me so much with her behaviour," he said and I knew he means on the incident which happened between us yesterday.

"I would gift it to you now," he said as he came closer to the table and looked at me.

"If its for her, I won't take it. I don't take another's gifts," I said and I knew with each of my move being indifferent I would make him crazy for me which would allow me to do whatever I want.

"I insist," he said and took the necklace and placed it on my neck. I looked at myself in the mirror with a slight smile and he seemed to be happy when he saw me wearing it.

"Is this just for you to make Safiye realise your angry on her and that's why you gift me that?" I asked and laughed because this was something that I thought at first, but it didn't matter to me since I knew Safiye would explode when she would see this.

"No, I gifted it to you because I find you more special, because I have never seen a woman who acts like this and is like you Halime," he said.

I returned back to Harem after actually feeling nice in the night I have spent with Suleiman, but that wasn't something I wanted to show. I didn't want him to think I am someone like Safiye and I knew I would win him over sooner or later when I will get exactly what Nigar has told me. I made sure I place my hair at the back so everyone could see the ruby necklace Suleiman has gifted me, and I had even more luck because I saw Safiye in harem. She saw me and walked closer to me and I bowed to her happily showing the new necklace which was supposed to be hers.

"What is this supposed to mean?" She asked me in front of all the maids who gathered around to see what is happening. After Safiye yelled yesterday everyone was afraid of her but I wasn't still.

"Suleiman's gift, he said you're not worthy of it, so he gifted it to me, and he said I am more special to him," I fake smiled enjoying the moment when she turned red of anger.

"You will return me what is mine," she said and placed her hand in front of me as a sign that I should give the necklace to her.

"Go and ask Suleiman to give it to you," I said. She just grabbed me by my hand and took me to her chambers which were upstairs close to favourites wing.

"Don't you dare ever again to ashame me so much in front of whole harem or-" she started to yell but I stopped her in the middle of the sentence.

"Or what? You will kill me because of necklace and because Suleiman fell in love with me on only one night while it took him so long for you?" I said and enjoyed being bad bitch toward her because this was what she deserved after yesterday and I didn't care about her emotions ever a bit.

"You Circassian whore!" She yelled and raised her hand but she was quick this time so she slapped me so hard I fell down on the floor but I had so much luck that at this moment doors opened and I saw Suleiman coming inside.

"Safiye, how do you dare to act like this to her?" Suleiman yelled and the slap didn't hurt so much but I had to overreact it for him to seem I am hurt because of Safiye.

"She annoyed me and insulted me, I am mother of a prince and I won't allow her to behave to me like this," she said but Suleiman didn't even watch at her but he went down on his knees and looked at me.

"Are you fine?" He asked me but I nodded with my head in negative way and I said to him how my head hurts. He took me in his hands in bridal style and he carried me to his chambers.


Manisa, 7th March 1513

"Congratulations Halime Hatun, you are pregnant," nurse said to me after I fainted in Ayse Hafsa's chambers and I couldn't believe how quickly I got the news about the pregnancy it took me less than two months.

"Congrats dear Halime, I am glad for you and I know my son will be so happy," Ayse Hafsa said and smiled to me because somehow she liked me a lot and what I liked even more is that she wasn't even sending the concubines to Suleiman.

My biggest surprise was Suleiman who used to call me three or four times a week in his chambers when he didn't have state jobs and everyone in harem couldn't stop gossiping about me. It seems my indifference worked very well because he has fallen for me so hard.

Safiye was standing at the corner of my bed and she looked at me with so much hate in her eyes and she was mad because she shouldn't have anymore children with Suleiman and she had to watch me being pregnant with him.

"Won't you congratulate, Safiye?" I asked on the purpose her in front of everyone and her face turned red. Hatice Sultan looked at her because she really liked her and felt some kind of empathy towards her.

"Congrats, I hope the child will be born healthy," she muttered.

Manisa, 19th October 1513

"Prince, congratulations. Another prince was born," nurse said when she gave my little baby son into Suleiman's hands. Him, Ayse Hafsa, Hatice and Safiye were in my chambers and I saw everyone is happy except for Safiye, she was sad because of the son, but she knew I won't be able to have more children with Sultan, or at least she thought so.

"Your name will be Mahmud," Suleiman whispered three times into the ear of our baby son.

"From now on Halime, you are part of our dynasty," Suleiman said and gifted me with the same kind of tulip necklace which he gifted Safiye when she gave birth and it was known as thing which symbolises dynasty members, and she was proudly wearing it.

After everyone left, Ayse Hafsa Sultan stayed in my chambers and sat on the corner of my bad after she placed amulet in my son Mahmud's bed.

"You know what this means now Halime?" She asked me and I nodded with my head because I knew what this conversation would lead to.

"Of course Sultanim, I learned the rules very well and I will take my medicine now. I will give all my strength and everything into my son Mahmud and he will be my only one," she smiled on my words.

"I am glad you understand it and that there won't be any new scandals, because I have already chosen a new concubine, Mahidevran," she has said and at this moment I didn't feel so indifferent like I was usually, but I knew I would work my way and I wouldn't be like Safiye and follow the rules. Who would know if I drink pills or not.

Manisa, 16th December 1514

"Mahidevran Hatun is pregnant, we didn't need this to happen," Safiye said to me while we were sitting in the harem as there was the feast in name of her pregnancy. We didn't like each other, but who we didn't like even more was Mahidevran because we two were enough for Suleiman.

"We can't do anything about this, you tried to get rid of me but you couldn't. And that only pushed you away from Suleiman," I said while taking a cup of my sherbet while the maids were dancing and everyone was enjoying the feast.

"So you want to say you will sit here not doing anything?" Safiye asked me as she was really upset and she behaved like she was someone special, but for real she haven't been with Sultan for a long time already. She visits him on Thursdays as she is the first consorts, while I visit him on Wednesday and Sunday which are more times than her and she still drinks pills which I have abandoned.

"Of course I won't do anything bad because that baby is innocent and Mahidevran hadn't done anything bad to you only thing is she stole his attention," I said before I felt bad at that moment.

In front of me everything became dizzy and I got up so I could return to my chambers, but I fainted in front of the harem. I opened my eyes later in my chambers when I saw Ayse Hafsa sitting next to me and she didn't seem to be very happy.

"Sultanim, what has happened?" I asked her as I was confused of everything now.

"Your pregnancy what happened," she hissed at me and I have never seen her behaving like this.

"My what?" I asked her trying to act surprised but inside of me I was so happy knowing I am pregnant with another Suleiman's baby even though it was forbidden to me.

"You lied to me you drank the pills, you lied about everything, I don't believe you even a word now," she hissed at me once again.

"Sultanim I drank all the pills every night you can ask the nurse she personally gave all of them to me I would never do something like this," I lied and faked tears in front of her just to make her feel sad for me.

"If you drank them then how are you pregnant?" She asked me.

"Maybe it's a God's blessing."


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