Grayson Archer

"I love you too much it makes me heart ache." -Unknown

I fucked up. I never went after her.

She's going home soon, I'm pretty sure if not today or tomorrow, and I haven't spoken to her or tried to even explain myself. I blamed it all on Hollywood but then again I wouldn't even know what to say.

"You know you could do something inside of moping." Charlie says from my room door. I forgot to close that, I should remember. "There's nothing to do." I tell him. I mean what can I do, she won't change her mind. Maybe I'm just not meant to fall in love. "Are you serious? Go talk to her, call her, chase her down if you have to." Charlie says, getting louder with his words as the sentence continues. "Called already, showing up at her house would be weird and chose her down, isn't that a crime?" I turn and look toward him. "Then do something other than nothing."Charlie walks into the room and plops down on the bed beside me.

I don't know what to do. What is there to do? I don't want to make things worse, not that they could even worsen. The rain outside only enhances my mood of feeling I guess you could say heartbroken in a way. "Come on." Charlie stands up. "Where are we going?" I ask him. "To talk to her, now to the car." Charlie charges out of the room with an arm up like he's really about to march into a beetle. I guess it is a battle of some sort.

A battle of hearts.

***

Driving in the rain makes this trip seem hopeless, it's like the rain wanted to stop us. Pulling up to the house that she is supposed to stay in while being here in LA, I can tell no one is home. There are no cars, and Alexia's light is off and it's early for her to be sleep.

"They aren't here." I state. "How do you know?" Charlie parks the car.  "No cars, no lights, and later in the night so they would be home. They aren't and no events only they would have gone and not us are going on." I explain. "I'm going to try calling her." Charlie tells me and grabs his phone. I appreciate Charlie trying so hard and wanting to help me fix this but it's just making me more sad and upset. It's never going to get fixed. I'd have to pull a miracle out the sky in order for it to.

"No answer."

"Let's just go,  we will figure something out."

Out of the side of my eye, I can see Charlie wanting to say something but he doesn't, he just drives around the driveway circle and leaves.

"This will be fixed, you are meant to be." Charlie says. For a guy he's a big hopeless romantic and I like that he is, for him but for me, love has never worked out so why should I get my hopes up now.

As we drive back to The Fortress I scroll through my phone just to keep my mind occupied, it barely works. I searched Alexia on Instagram a few times and checked back to the messages I sent her. Nothing. That makes my heart sink but I  should forget about it. Love sucks anyways. A notification covers my screen and I look to see an email from my father and our family manager. I click on it and the e-mail is telling me that my father has called for us to court because my mother has filed for full custody of us and money from abuse and troubles.

This has to be ridiculous. This whole thing is supposed to take place in about two weeks, privately and not open to the public just in case. It's really to protect his image. He already got off for abuse and now he wants to counter my mother. I go to form an email and tell the lawyer for mom to add an abuse charge because if he's going to make a scene I'll make it a bigger one.  At least now I'm no longer as sad but upset.

I look up to see we are arriving back on the road we live on as we drive by. I'm pretty sure I see Zara outside walking in the rain. "Go back." I tell Charlie. " I think I saw Zara."

Charlie stops the car and backs up the person and of course, it's her in some sweatpants, a light t-shirt, an oversized Morningstar jacket, and some yellow Converse. "Z, why are you in the rain?" Charlie wines down the window and asks her. "I didn't know what else to do. I thought everything was okay but Shawn isn't speaking to me and he won't answer calls or texts. And we have each other's location so I know he's been at the fortress." Zara answers. "Get in the car." I tell her and Charlie unlocks the doors. Zara gets in the car, good thing Charlie doesn't care about wet car seats.

"When did you two stop speaking?" I ask, as the car starts to move. "The day after Shawn told what your managers told you guys about me and Lexi."

He must have scared her pretty bad for Zara to be walking here and that's weird because he seemed completely normal. Maybe in his room more but normal. Although I've been in my own world so if he was off I wouldn't know. Charlie pulls up to the house and into the garage. We make our way inside and just so happen to find Shawn in the kitchen eating some fruit as we come in.

"We have something for you." Charlie says, in a sing-song voice causing Shawn to look up. "Did you walk her?" He asks Zara, looking obviously very pissed off. "You weren't talking to me and It's the only way I could see if you were okay and no I didn't fully walk. I had my brother drop me off at the movies closest to here and told him I was meeting friends which he fell for, then I got an Uber to about a mile away and walked the rest here." Zara explains. Wow, I never thought she'd go through all that to see him. He would totally walk in the rain or her but damn she lied to her brother, probably used all her allowance, and walked a mile. She has to be tired. Charlie pulls out some water and gives it to her.

"You can't do that, you should have called someone to get you." Shawn stands up and  puts his bowl in the fridge. "And have them tell me you don't want to see me." by the sound of her voice, Zara is definitely about to cry soon. Me and Charlie share a look knowing it's time to leave them two alone. We do not want to be in here especially if they start yelling. I do hope Shawn doesn't make her cry.

I go back to my room fast before Charlie can get the chance to say anything especially about Alexia not being home to me. I close and  lock my door. I'm not forgetting to do that again. Coming into my room I think it's a good time to write my feelings, maybe I'll be able to write a song now. Maybe I can give into the urge to write a song about her now. It can help me get my mind off of things.